Chapter 32

32

Coming home to a different house from the one she grew up in felt strange, yet familiar elements eased the transition. Mr. Fellows and Mrs. Krouse welcomed her home with all the fanfare of the prodigal son. Food overflowed the dining room table, and half of the dishes making up the spread were treats she remembered from childhood. Apple tarts, shortbread cookies, pound cake, candied walnuts, and the tiny chocolate cakes she used to snitch from beneath the glass dome whenever they appeared in the kitchen. Letty couldn’t possibly eat everything, but the love that table represented brought the mist back to her eyes.

She turned to share the bountiful moment with Philip, only to recall he wasn’t in the room with her. He’d insisted on walking the perimeter and setting up a watch station from one of the corner rooms on the second floor. Before he’d left, he’d promised to see Rusty settled in the manicured yard that stretched behind the house and encouraged her to focus on reconnecting with her family. But he’d become her family over the last two weeks, and she missed him. Missed his companionship, his constancy, even his overprotective glower. A thousand discoveries fluttered around her, tantalizing her with family history, identity, and restored memories. Each brought its own excitement or fascination, and as each new discovery unfolded, she longed to share it with him.

“What an amazing spread, Mrs. Krouse.” Letty beamed a smile at the housekeeper. “After having nothing but coffee, stew, and biscuits on the trail, I won’t know where to start.”

Mrs. Krouse bustled forward and took up a platter filled with pot roast, carrots, and potatoes and positioned herself beside the chair to the right of the head of the table. “You just sit yourself down, dearie, and I’ll fill your plate for you. I made all your favorites.”

Letty shared a smile with her mother. “You certainly did.”

Mr. Fellows held out her mother’s chair first, then moved to help Letty be seated at the only other place setting.

“Will you not be joining us?” she asked as the butler poured water into her glass. “Mother told me that you often share a table with her.”

Quite unusual for a wealthy household, but Mama had explained that the loneliness had eaten away at her after she and Grandmother left, and having Fellows and Mrs. Krouse keep her company at table had deflected the isolation. When her brother or other company visited, the servants would return to their small table in the kitchen, but Letty didn’t want them to feel unwelcome just because she had returned.

“I would be happy for you to stay.”

Fellows smiled at her in a rather indulgent way that had her wondering if she’d just made her first of many social faux pas.

“We’ll have plenty of opportunities to dine together in the future, miss. Tonight is for you and your mother.”

She glanced to her mother and saw the same longing in her gaze that radiated through Letty’s chest. Yes, they needed time together. Time to get to know each other once again and to build a new relationship atop the ashes of the old.

Mrs. Krouse placed a dish mounded to astounding heights with every possible food imaginable in front of Letty. Good heavens. If she ate all of that, she’d bust the seams of her trail-worn clothes. Ordering her eyes not to widen with the incredulity running through her, she stifled the laugh that begged to be released and thanked the housekeeper with an appreciative smile.

“Would you see that Mr. Carmichael receives a plate as well?” After all he’d suffered on her behalf these last weeks, Philip deserved to feast. She’d have to sneak some roast out to Rusty later, too.

Mrs. Krouse bobbed a curtsy. “Of course, miss.”

“Thank you.”

Once Fellows and Mrs. Krouse left the dining room, Mama stretched a hand out to Letty. “Would it be all right with you if we held hands while I say grace?”

Sliding her fingers into her mother’s open palm stirred precious memories of praying over tea parties, walking about town, or the comforting touch of Mama sitting at her bedside holding her hand until she fell asleep on those nights after Daddy died.

Together they bowed their heads.

“Almighty God, your blessings are beyond measure. How I have longed for this day. A day of joy and reunion with my beloved daughter.” Mama squeezed Letty’s hand, and a warmth bloomed in Letty’s chest that filled her more than any food ever could. “How faithful you are. How good. How deserving of our gratitude. Thank you, Father, for keeping her safe all these years. Thank you for watching over her and Mr. Carmichael on their journey. Thank you for the chance to get to know the woman she has become.

“We ask, Lord, that you will continue to provide your protection over her and bring those who wish her harm to justice. We pray, too, for my mother and the health difficulties she is experiencing. May she be well enough to travel soon so that our family might be whole once more.

“We thank you for this bounty of food you have provided and ask that we may receive it with grateful hearts and humble spirits. In the name of your Son and our Savior, Jesus Christ, amen.”

“Amen.” Letty squeezed her mother’s hand and took a heartbeat to absorb the perfection of the moment. It felt holy. As if unseen angels lingered to share in their joy.

“Tell me more about your grandmother,” Mama said as she took up her fork.

Back in the carriage, Mama had asked why Grandmother hadn’t accompanied her, and Letty had explained about her heart trouble as well as her insistence that she travel with Mr. Carmichael. There’d been a tense moment when Mama had asked if Philip had treated her in an honorable fashion while they’d been alone together, but she’d seemed to believe Letty’s assurances that he’d been a perfect gentleman. Letty could tell that Mama didn’t like the fact that her unmarried daughter had spent so much time alone with a man, but they both understood the stakes and agreed that preserving Letty’s life had taken precedence over preserving her reputation.

“Grandmother agreed to stay with the Darbys while she recovered. She asked that we send her a telegram as soon as I arrived safely so that she could take the train and join us.”

“I’ll give Fellows a coded message to send to let her know you’ve arrived, but I think it best that she wait until after your birthday to join us here. Things are still precarious. Especially for you.” She pointed her knife in Letty’s direction. “I don’t want you leaving this house until I’m assured that Drake Radcliffe no longer poses a threat. Not until you are able to sign the will your uncle Stefan has drafted.”

Letty chafed a bit at the idea of being stuck inside, but she’d mentally prepared herself for such a scenario. At least her birthday would arrive soon. She only had to wait until the day after tomorrow.

“The one that removes Uncle Drake as a beneficiary, right?” Mama had given her an overview of the plan during their carriage ride.

Mama swallowed the bite of potato she’d been chewing and nodded. “Yes. It’s been written for ages, just waiting for your return.”

“Do I get any say in who the new beneficiary will be?” Ever since Mama had mentioned the will, Letty had been thinking about who she would name as her heir. A rather morbid consideration, but she needed to make sure that she didn’t trade one villain for another.

Her mother froze and blinked twice before lowering her forkful of carrot back to her plate. “I hadn’t thought ... of course you should. When Stefan stops by tomorrow you can ask him any questions you have about the will. He’s worked hard to safeguard your inheritance and can advise you should you wish to make any changes to the will. I tried to anticipate what you might choose, but I suppose you might see it as presumptuous of us to name beneficiaries without consulting you.”

Letty touched her mother’s arm, eager to reassure her. “I don’t think it presumptuous at all. The will needed to be crafted and ready. It makes perfect sense for you and Uncle Stefan to guess at my wishes.”

Her mother visibly relaxed, and Letty realized for the first time that she wasn’t the only one afraid of being a disappointment.

“We wrote it as if you wouldn’t need an heir for many years, for that was our dearest desire.” Mama smiled, and Letty’s own mouth curved in response. “We named your husband as your beneficiary first.”

Philip’s face immediately flooded Letty’s mind, and her cheeks began to heat.

“Then any children you might have. On the contingency that you have neither husband nor children at the time of your...” She couldn’t bring herself to say it, and frankly, Letty didn’t mind not hearing the word that had been haunting her for the last fortnight. “The shares in Radcliffe shipping will come to me, and the funds currently in your trust will go to your grandmother. It seemed fitting since she cared for you for all these years. And if Mother is no longer with us at that time, then the money will be dispersed among the charities your father supported.”

“None of the funds to you?” Letty asked.

Mama shook her head, a wistful smile slowly brightening her face like a lamp whose key had just been twisted to expose more wick. “No. Your father ensured that I would have all I need. Not only a healthy income from the businesses he left in my care but a sense of purpose in the work. He knew me so well.” The mist of memory cleared from her blue eyes, and she focused her gaze on Letty. “How I wish he’d lived long enough to get to know you as a woman grown, as I am beginning to. I’m sure he’d be as proud of you as I am. He adored you so. From the first moment he held you in his arms and gazed into your face. Love at first sight. He wanted you to have the means to make your dreams come true. Dreams that would leave a mark on the world and make it a better place.” The light went out of Mama’s smile as she wagged her head. “He would be heartbroken if he could see how that money tore our family apart. How it has placed your life in danger.”

“Yet think how happy he would be to see our reunion.” Gratitude swelled in Letty’s chest. “I don’t have a lot of memories of Daddy, but one of the strongest is how he would find us in the parlor in the evenings after work. I was usually on your lap in the big red chair near the hearth. Do you remember it?”

Mama nodded, her smile slowly returning.

“You liked to read me stories while we waited for Daddy to come home. I remember you pointing out the letters and teaching me their sounds.” Letty got lost in the happy memory for a moment, then cranked the mental knob to advance the scene. “When Daddy came home, he’d come straight to the parlor even before taking off his overcoat. He’d sweep into the room and say, ‘Ah, nothing better than finding my two favorite people together in the same place!’”

“I remember.” Mama glanced into the air as if memories floated about in the room, beckoning her to choose one to invite into her mind. “He often told me that coming home to his girls made even the most difficult day end in joy. It was why I made a point to corral you into the parlor every evening and entertain you with books. Even if you were out of sorts, reading stories would restore your cheerful disposition and guarantee a pleasant reception.”

Mama looked back at Letty, her food all but forgotten. “I know you’re far too old for them now, of course, but I had a large bookshelf installed in your room upstairs. I filled it with all the novels I thought you might like, but I couldn’t resist filling the lower shelves with the stories we read together when you were young. It made me feel closer to you, I suppose. To sit in that room and read those stories, pretending you were curled up in my lap.” She glanced down. “I actually do nearly all of my reading there, imagining you reading the same books wherever you were, and guessing which parts would make you laugh or cry or growl in frustration.”

Touched at the tenderness evident in the picture her mother painted, Letty felt a little guilty that she’d allowed her memories of her mother to grow rather cold over the years.

“Grandmother would bring me books on occasion,” she said, “though we only had enough to fill the pair of small crates that served as our library. But no matter how old I got, I never grew tired of reading the storybook you sent with me that night, nor the message you inscribed inside the cover. Reading those words seemed to shrink the distance between us.”

They fell silent for a while, both returning their attention to the meal in front of them. Mother eventually steered the conversation back to Letty, asking dozens of questions about the years they’d missed, as if her thirst for knowledge of her daughter’s upbringing could never be quenched. How did she come to have a wolf for a pet? Did she miss having friends her own age? How did she fill her days? Did she still detest peas?

Letty attempted to delve into her mother’s life with similar enthusiasm, but she rarely received more than a cursory answer, as if her mother couldn’t bear to waste time talking about herself when there was more to learn about Letty. Yet Letty had so many questions. What was it like to run a company as a woman? Did others accept her, or did she feel like an outcast in a man’s world? Was she still involved in social reform? What changes in child labor practices had she seen over the course of the last fifteen years? What more still needed to be accomplished? Had she ever developed romantic feelings for another man after Daddy died? How did a woman know when she was in love? What did she think of Philip?

All right, so perhaps some of those burning questions had more to do with Letty’s own frame of mind than reclaiming lost years, but it still irked a bit that her mother brushed off her questions with such tame answers. Some of her frustration must have shown on her face, for Mama stopped asking questions and rose from the table.

“I have something for you.”

Letty swiveled in her chair, her gaze locked on her mother as she moved to the sideboard and opened one of the cupboard doors. She pulled out a large bandbox decorated in a pink floral wallpaper that reminded Letty of the pattern that had once adorned the walls of her nursery.

“I’m sure you have as many questions about me as I have about you, and I promise I’m not trying to dodge them.”

It seemed that time and distance couldn’t dim a mother’s ability to read her child’s thoughts.

Letty rose from her chair as well and moved to stand near her mother, the box between them practically glowing with promise as Letty tried to imagine what secrets it held.

Mama ran a hand over the lid as she cradled the octagonal box against her belly. “Do you remember the promise I made you in the carriage the night of the fire?”

Letty’s throat tightened. “To keep me close in your heart?”

Mama smiled. “Yes, I have done that, even when the pain tempted me to loosen my grip. I’ve prayed for you every day. Thought of you every day. I pored over the photographs Mother sent and nearly wore out your pictures and notes from my constant handling. But I made you another promise that day. One that became a blessing to me while you were gone, and one that I hope will be a blessing to you now that you’re back.”

She handed the decorated box into Letty’s hands. “I wrote to you. Every week. I chronicled my days, the ordinary and the remarkable. The difficult and the joyous. I began with the idea that these would help you get to know me once we were reunited, but somewhere along the way they became therapeutic. A way for me to feel connected to you.

“Sometimes I wrote about work and the people there. My struggles, failures, and triumphs in trying to run the oil mill and cotton compress in a way that would honor both your father and the God we both served. I wrote when my grief felt so oppressive I thought I might drown in it. I wrote about the children I met in the factories with flat eyes void of hope, and how I prayed that wherever you were, your eyes were dancing with adventure and delight. I shared thoughts on books I had read and sermons I had heard in church. Sometimes I would write out prayers or bits of Scripture as if bringing them from my heart onto a physical page would somehow manifest them into your life.

“Everything you might want to know about me, and likely a few things you’d rather not, are contained in this box.” Mama stroked Letty’s arm with a comforting touch. “Come. I’ll show you to your room. There’s enough reading material there to keep you busy for a month, but I hope you won’t get lost in it. As much as we both long to learn about what we’ve missed over the last fifteen years, it’s even more important to share time together in the present.”

Her throat too constricted to speak, Letty simply nodded as Mama led her up the stairs and into a beautiful room filled with delicate white furnishings and cheerful yellow accents that made Letty feel instantly welcome. A white rocking chair with a goldenrod cushion sat next to a floor-to-ceiling bookshelf that looked like it could have come directly from heaven itself.

“There are nightdresses in the bureau, and since I wasn’t sure what clothing you would prefer, I bought several different styles and colors for you to pick from. You’ll find them in the wardrobe. We can go shopping later, once it’s safe for you to be out, but I wanted you to have whatever you might need in the meantime.”

Letty could barely take it all in. She held tighter to the bandbox, knowing that the extravagant bounty before her wasn’t intended to overwhelm but to demonstrate a parent’s love for her child.

“Well, I’ll ... leave you to get settled.”

She turned to leave, but Letty snatched her hand before she could take more than a step. “I love you, Mama.”

Her mother’s eyes filled with tears as she opened her arms and clutched Letty tightly to her chest, bandbox and all. “I love you, my sweet girl. And no matter what trouble tomorrow holds, we’ll face it together. Nothing will ever separate us again.”

Letty closed her eyes and savored the embrace, the girl she had been drinking in her mother’s promise and letting it soothe away old hurts and insecurities. Yet even as she exulted in the love that spawned the vow, she couldn’t help but worry how much hurt she’d likely inflict when Mama learned that Letty had no intention of making this city her home.