Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

SITTING IN AN ISOLATION AREA was weird. The strange nervous hush. The tapping of anxious feet crammed into climbing shoes. The whispered conversations between teammates.

Not that Elijah had any teammates. He was here to show off the logos on the back of his shirt and maybe get some cool shots on famous outdoor climbs. That was what the sponsors agreed to. His improbable comeback was enough to earn them back their investment this time around.

That was fine for corporate sponsors, but the part of Elijah that wanted to win had never actually retired from the sport. He jittered his leg as he sat in a plastic chair and listened to the murmur of the crowd. The climbers waited behind the very bouldering wall they would soon surmount, warming up or listening to music or doing whatever they had to do to get their nerves under control and their bodies ready for some hard climbing.

Elijah felt like he either wanted to sleep or throw up. The jet lag was still pummeling him, no matter how hard he'd tried to get his body on track in time for the competition. He'd only had a day to find his hotel, settle in, attempt to stomach some food, and sleep. It still felt like a dream that he was here at all, and his body definitely hadn't adjusted to something like fourteen time zones of difference yet.

He used to have a routine for this, even when he was going overseas. He used to sit back here barely able to contain his excitement. Today, the nerves tingled into his hands, leaving his palms sweaty. He feared there wasn't enough climbing chalk in the entire world to keep his hands dry with his body and mind both in turmoil.

Elijah stood and paced, mentally walking himself through the rule changes since the last time he'd climbed in a competition. He'd encountered them already in the qualifiers, but this was the semi-finals. Any slip up because of a rule violation would be a lot more costly.

First of all, that four-minute rule. No five-plus minutes here. Elijah would have to get out there and get the climb done quickly. He'd practiced it with Ty, working on tough gym routes with a timer counting down. It helped a little, but time got weird when you were out there competing for real in front of a crowd. It was all too easy to lose track of the clock. With your blood racing and adrenaline high, the time could easily feel either much faster or much slower.

But it wasn't just that. He'd have to establish himself well on the final hold of the climb to earn the "top." He'd forgotten to check with the judges on one of the qualifier climbs and it had cost him. He'd managed to redo the climb in time, but it was a near thing.

What else? Elijah racked his brain, mumbling to himself, so distracted he nearly walked right into Ty.

He stopped short just in time and blinked to bring himself back into the present. Ty was smiling at him, his face almost glowing with joy. Unlike Elijah, he didn't look tired or jet lagged at all. His smile was as bright as ever, his curly hair springing down to his shoulders in joyous curls despite the headband attempting to hold it back. His blue tank top exposed his long, ropey arms. There was a big USA on the back, unlike on Elijah's plain tank top strewn with logos. But Elijah wasn't part of the team, and Ty was.

Elijah's stomach sank at the sight of the beaming man before him. If he went out there and completely bombed, Ty might end up being even more disappointed than Elijah himself. At least Elijah didn't expect much from himself. Ty looked at him like Elijah could get gold with one arm tied behind his back. Somehow, that sparkle in Ty's brown eyes put more weight on this comp than most Elijah had ever been in.

"How are you feeling?" Ty said.

"Nervous as all hell." He was way too on-edge for subtlety. "I'm still jet lagged pretty bad. I could barely eat this morning."

"It's hard," Ty said. "Jude and I forced ourselves to get dinner last night, but it feels weird. You'll fight through it once you get out there and the crowd is screaming for you."

The crowd. Screaming. For him. It should have hyped him up. In the past, it would have. Today, it was just more people Elijah could let down.

Ty's eyes softened. He looked like he wanted to lean close and kiss Elijah to smooth down the nerves, but neither of them were keen to subject themselves to that kind of scrutiny yet. Elijah was friendly with plenty of climbers, including up-and-coming ones. That wasn't unusual. But a kiss in the isolation area wouldn't stay in the isolation area for long.

"You're gonna be fine," Ty said. "Don't think about it as a comp. Just think about climbing."

Elijah huffed a bitter laugh. "Yeah. Sure. Just climb. No problem."

"I'm serious. Don't get super hung up on the rules and stuff. If you think about climbing first and foremost, you'll be focused on the most important part."

"That time limit… "

"We practiced the time limit. It wasn't a problem for you."

"On gym climbs," Elijah said. "This is different."

"It's not." Ty clapped his hands on Elijah's shoulders. "Chill. You're going to do great. Don't psych yourself out."

Elijah released an exhale. He really wished he could lean forward and kiss Ty right now. Those warm, inviting lips would do more to calm him than all the words in the world. That kind of thing would have to wait, however. For now, Ty's hands provided a squeeze of reassurance that Elijah eagerly soaked up.

"Fine," he said. "Don't stay here letting me distract you. You've got your own competition to deal with."

"I'm cool as a cucumber, man," Ty said.

He pulled Elijah into a quick hug. In the heartbeat while they were chest-to-chest, Ty whispered, "At least until you heat me up later."

Then he pulled away, every bit the friendly competitor and nothing more as he offered Elijah a fist bump and wandered off to warm up with his teammate Jude.

Well, that was a hell of a goodbye. Elijah shouldn't have been so shocked about it. Every moment they spent together they were either climbing the wall or each other. Ty had already made plans to head to Elijah's hotel after the comp rather than going back to the team's house.

The reminder that even in the very worst case Elijah would get to see Ty later had the desired effect. Elijah barely had space to freak out about the competition when the judges started warning the first groups of climbers that they had to go out soon. Elijah was among those early groups. They were the climbers who'd qualified the lowest in the ranking. Guys like Ty would go at the very end due to placing high in the qualifiers.

All of that meant that Elijah had a steep hill to climb if he was going to make finals. If it came to a tie, the higher-ranked climber got the win. So Elijah not only had to win, he had to win by enough to fend off any tied scores. Guys this low in the ranking very rarely made it through to finals, but Elijah had clawed back out of worse spots than this in his younger days. According to Ty, he was just as capable of doing it now.

A few climbers went out before Elijah. The judges filtered climbers out from isolation to the climbing stage until there were four men climbing at once. They rotated, the climbers who'd just gone getting a four-minute break before they had to move on and try their next problem. In this way, every climber would eventually get out there and get his shot at the wall.

Soon, Elijah's turn came around and he jogged out onto the mats with his towel and bag. He threw the towel down, wiping his climbing shoes clean as he assessed the first boulder of the competition. Any amount of dirt or dust on the bottom of the climbing shoes represented a loss of friction, and that could result in a fall. He needed clean shoes and dry hands if he was gong to reach the top.

Elijah dug his chalk out of the tote bag he'd carried with him onto the mats. The bag also held a spare pair of shoes that were a bit softer and better for slabs, but the climb before him now was the exact opposite of a slab. It started with a big dynamic jump, for one thing. It even cast a shadow onto the mats thanks to the steep, overhanging angle of the wall.

Shit. The last thing Elijah needed when he was this nervous was a problem with a low-percentage move right at the start. Route setters liked this kind of stuff because it was flashy and crowd pleasing, but it tended to waste a ton of attempts. Jumps were hard and often took multiple tries.

Elijah squirted liquid chalk onto his hands, spreading it around. He shook his hands, letting the air dry out the alcohol in the mixture and leave behind only the chalk. It coated his hands in a layer of white. Elijah blew on it, sending a plume off his hands. Then he huffed out a breath. He had to get on the climb quickly, before the nerves made his hands wet again.

The crowd cheered for something, perhaps one of the other three men out here climbing. Music pumped, a heavy beat with pop music layered over it. Lights and sun competed to beat down on Elijah. He'd forgotten what a potent high the climbing stage was when you were the one on it and not just watching it .

He did his best to clear all that stuff from his head as he approached the climb and got on the starting holds. He had to swing his body back and forth to build momentum for the jump. The hold looked even farther away from here than it had from the mats. Elijah swung, indecisive. When he finally let go, he knew he was way short of the hold well before his hands slapped through nothing but air.

Elijah swallowed, keeping his back to the crowd as he caught his breath and chalked up again. Were they already disappointed in him? His glorious return to climbing, and he'd placed low in qualifiers and missed the dyno on the very first problem of semis. What a way to announce he was coming out of retirement.

Elijah clapped his hands, dispersing excess chalk and trying to slap out the nerves. It didn't really help. He got back on the start, wound up — and clenched with doubt in the moment before he leapt off the hold. At least he'd touched the hold this time, but he was still a long way from being able to hang onto it.

He could almost hear Ty telling him to calm down in the back of his mind. Maybe he should have just gone for that kiss. He really needed it about now.

Elijah shook his head at himself. That was just selfish. Ty was the one with a promising career. Elijah had no right to derail it to make himself feel better. They'd both agreed that putting this whole thing up for public scrutiny wasn't something they wanted. Besides, since when had Elijah needed a partner to buoy his confidence through a comp? When he'd been competing, he'd had his dalliances and relationships, sure, but they'd always stayed strictly out of the climbing gym and competitions. He'd possessed a single-minded focus when he stepped on the mats, and it had served him well.

What he'd give to have that kind of focus again. Elijah tried the jump a few times, getting a little closer with each go, but wasting a lot of attempts and time in the process. Climbers near the top of the ranking, like Ty and Jude, would surely get this dyno move in far fewer attempts. With every fall, Elijah was making his odds of getting into the finals even longer.

He finally hit the hold during one of his jumps. His palms slapped against a gritty surface. His fingers curled to hang onto the lip. But then his legs flew out wide, throwing him off the hold. He fell heavily on his back on the mats, eliciting a groan from the crowd. They were rooting for him, that meant, watching him more closely than the other climbers out on the wall currently. He was a "name" in the sport. And he'd just dashed their hopes with that fall.

Some climbers would turn around at this point and wave at the crowd, urging a swell of cheers to pump them up for the climb. But Elijah couldn't bring himself to face all those eager, hopeful eyes. He kept his back to the audience, doing his best not to look at them when he risked a quick glance over at the clock .

On the next attempt, Elijah finally stuck to the hold. The crowd roared behind him, their cries surely loud enough to pierce into the isolation area. Elijah got his foot on a chip on the wall, relying on the rubber at the very tip of his shoe for friction. He pushed up on that tiny point of contact, lunging for the next hold.

Elijah was probably more surprised than the spectators when he actually held on to the next hold. He climbed upward, his whole body numb with shock and strain as he finished out the climb. At the top, he hung from the final hold, turning to check in with the judges. He dropped back to the mats the moment they gave him the nod. Elijah offered the crowd a quick wave as he gathered up his stuff and trotted across the mats and back to isolation.

There were still two climbers on the wall, which meant there were probably people doing worse than him, using more attempts to get to the top, if they reached the top at all. Still, Elijah didn't exactly breathe easier as he returned to isolation and peeled off his shoes to give his feet a break. He wouldn't get to rest long before he had to go back out there, and his arms were trembling from the strain of that first climb.

Ty caught his eyes from across the isolation area. Elijah gave him a little nod and Ty broke into a beaming smile. Elijah attempted to smile back and Ty returned his focus to stretching out with Jude.

Only when Ty looked away did Elijah let the expression falter. He'd needed way too many tries to get that jump. The top climbers would almost certainly do it in fewer attempts. Which meant Elijah's odds of getting into finals, already infinitesimal, had shrunken down to basically nothing. Barring a miracle or a slew of sudden injuries, Elijah was effectively out of the finals.

His first competition back, and he'd already failed.