11. Rebecca

11

REBECCA

I'd never experienced a more disastrous weekend. First the thing with Cole, then finding out Carrie and David used to have a thing. It was enough that it should have made me swear off all three men.

But of course, I had the masochist attitude that pushed me to keep wanting more. I'd slept with Cole and David. That should have satisfied my urges. I should be able to get over them. So why did I spend an hour looking at myself in the mirror and fluffing my hair before heading over to campus for classes? There was a difference in wanting to look nice and trying to get Ethan to admit he wanted me.

"Stop it." I scolded myself as I stepped into his lecture hall. Ethan was reluctant to have anything to do with me. Cool. I didn't want a relationship, anyway. I wasn't worth the risk to his career. Kinda sucked, but I'd get over it. He had every right to protect his career.

"Today, we'll be discussing sonnets and their effect through literature." Ethan stalked into the room with purpose in each step and fire banked in his eyes. He found me in the crowd and the heat intensified. "If anyone has any objections to the subject matter, they're free to leave now. There will not be any interruptions or personal opinions in today's lesson."

Ouch. I flipped him off and relished the way his chin lowered like he might charge up the steps and confront me right then and there in front of the whole class. I had every right to my opinions, my thoughts, and my feelings, and I'd be damned if I let him intimidate me. I sat back and crossed my arms, flicking my fingers in a whatever gesture.

Steam might as well have erupted from his ears, but he schooled his expression and turned his back on me. I might not have any hard feelings, but he sure as hell did. And why was that? Had he talked to Cole? Did he blame me for the two of us having sex? He should be fucking grateful that I shut Cole down before he asked for more from me.

Ethan paced back and forth through the entire class while studiously avoiding eye contact with me. Fine. Two could play that game. With my laptop recording his lecture, I opened a new document and typed out a brand-new Chapter One for a new story starring Ethan as the main character. Not the calm Ethan I'd first met, but this one. I wanted all that raw, angry energy on the page. It would go great with the BDSM chapters I'd written the other night. And I knew just what to do with it once I finished.

An hour later, Ethan dismissed us with a wave. I took my time saving the documents and closing my laptop. I didn't have any other classes today, and my shift at the coffee shop started in a few hours. I had time to kill, and I knew what I wanted to do with it.

I waited until the room cleared before making my way down to the main floor. "Pretty asshole move, calling me out like that."

"It wasn't about you." He barked out the words while crossing his arms. The closed off posture fueled my need to poke him a little more.

That whole ‘don't poke the bear' thing? Yeah, that wasn't me. I'd found I enjoyed poking this particular bear. "No? So you didn't look right at me and basically tell the whole class that I was an interruption, one you would rather not deal with?"

His jaw clenched. A cold fury I'd never seen in real life tightened his eyes into narrow slits. "You're playing a dangerous game." He pointed directly at me. "And it's one that won't even affect you if things go badly."

"You mean if it's found out that I slept with David."

"Professor Stanley." He leaned in close enough that I smelled the coffee on his breath. "And Professor Cole Taylor."

Ah, so he knew about Cole too. "Should I be flattered that the three of you are talking about me behind my back? I thought you were all mature men who didn't need to kiss and tell to impress each other."

"Impress?" This time, the fury stamped on his face smothered the room as he made a single step toward me. "We are not trying to impress each other. We're trying to figure out how to keep our jobs."

"Oh, right. Because I'm some punk ass college girl who's going to run to the dean and turn you all in." I matched his stance, crossed arms and everything. "I'm not a tattle tale, Professor Ethan. "

"You're fucking trouble. That's what you are." He said it like he meant for it to be an insult.

I grinned just to piss him off. "Yes, I am. And the only reason you're being pissy about it is because you're attracted to me too."

I couldn't believe I said it, but the minute the words crossed my lips, I knew they were true. We'd danced around this since the first time he asked me to stay after class. I'd gotten an eyeful of his dick, the hard lines of his erection fully present when we argued. He'd hidden it behind his suit jacket, but some things could not stay tucked away forever.

He was hard now, the bulge growing more evident with each passing minute. He liked it when I argued with him. "Yes." The admission came out with a frustrated growl. "I'm so attracted to you that I'd love nothing more than to fuck the hell out of you right here, right now."

I tucked the information away for my story and arched a brow, silently asking why he kept waiting.

"But I won't." He said it with absolute assurance.

A tiny piece of my heart broke, even though I'd known he would never give in. Forced to choose between me and his job, Ethan would not risk his livelihood. I understood. I hated it, but I understood.

"Do you have some kind of goal with all this?" He relaxed enough to loosen his arms, but the hard planes of his face remained tense.

I cocked my head to the side, enjoying the way he watched my hair fall over my shoulder with a deep hunger in his eyes. "What do you mean?"

A beat of silence passed. I halfway expected him to pull me close and kiss me. It's what I would have written for us in this moment. Followed by a good, hard fuck across his desk like Lily had planted in my head. He definitely had some domineering traits lingering beneath the surface. I wanted to dig them up and turn them loose. What would it be like to have Ethan tie me up and do anything he wanted to my body? My pussy clenched at the thought. He'd make it good for me. I had zero doubts about that. Where Cole and David were calm and quiet, Ethan would be loud and demanding.

He stalked toward me, his steps barely making a sound. The predatory part of him was exposed, the gleam of it dancing beneath the surface. "Do you have some kind of goal, going around asking all of us to sleep with you? Is it some kind of checklist you're trying to accomplish?"

I slapped him. I didn't mean to, it just happened. The instant my palm met his cheek with a crack and his head whipped to the side, I yanked myself backward with a gasp. An apology crackled through me. I bit it down and glared. "How dare you. I did not ask for this. I never asked David or Cole for anything. They asked me, and I won't let you cheapen what happened between us by making it sound like I had some ulterior motive." I turned on my heel and stomped off, my blood simmering. "Don't ever insinuate anything like that again. Casual doesn't mean I'm careless."

I was still fuming by the time I reached my car and slid behind the wheel. My hands shook so badly that I waited to pull out of the parking lot but sat there with the engine running and the air conditioning going at full blast until I brought myself back under control.

I'd struck him. I'd hit a professor. What the hell had I been thinking? I wasn't. That was the problem. All three of them stole my good intentions, my critical thinking skills, and my methodology on right and wrong.

Ethan burrowed under my skin with his cold pretense of disinterest. It was a sham. He wanted me. That thought buoyed my spirits. I still had a lot of anger to work through, and I planned on putting it to good use tonight at the coffee shop. As soon as things calmed down, I'd finish that first chapter.

Lily met me at the door to the coffee shop, her curls wild and eyes wide. "You have to help me."

"What? Why?"

She didn't let me finish but pulled me into the shop and pushed me toward the back room. "Ricky and Sabian set me up on a blind date. With Robert."

A snort burst out. I covered my mouth with both hands, but it was too late.

Lily narrowed her eyes at me and shoved an apron into my chest. "You're working the front tonight while Robert and I have our date." She spat the last word while rolling her eyes. "I don't know what possessed them to do this to me."

"They probably thought Robert wanted to ask you out but was too afraid to." I put the apron on, using it to hide my smile. Ricky and Sabian were the only two other employees at the shop. The four of us pretty much kept the place running, with the owner checking in once a month or if we called because we needed something. It worked out well for everyone, and I liked all my coworkers. "Come on, it might be fun." I elbowed Lily, who shot me a dirty look.

"I haven't told you the best part." She arched a brow and bent toward me. "It's not just Robert they set me up with. Apparently, they made me a whole dating profile online and I have dates every night this week."

"Oh." I hugged her despite her resistance. "Damn. I'm sorry. What do you need me to do?"

"They set them all up here. If it looks like things are going downhill, make up an excuse to get rid of them." She held my upper arms, her entire focus on me. "Don't make me look desperate. Just get me out. Pretend there's a fire. Drop coffee on them. I don't care, just help me."

"Okay. We need a signal. What's something you can do that's not obvious but will let me know you want an intervention?" I walked us over to the counter and poured myself a cold brew with a splash of heavy cream and caramel syrup.

Lily paced around to the far side and picked up empty cups and saucers from a booth. "What about this? If I tuck my hair over my left shoulder, it means I want out."

"Okay. Sure. Simple and easy to remember." I'd been best friends with Lily since kindergarten. I knew that she preferred to pull her hair over her right shoulder. I'd immediately notice her moving it to the other side. I sipped my drink and helped her clear the rest of the tables. "Looks like you had a busy streak."

"Yeah. That same business group came back. Apparently, David paying for their drinks worked and now they're hooked on the place." She flashed a stack of bills tucked in her apron pocket. "But they're good tippers and no one tries to grab my ass, so I'm not complaining."

"Not like that summer you worked at the crab house." I shook away the shudders. I'd not had the same experiences as Lily, but I'd gotten a pinch or two that summer. We were both fired when Lily punched the shit out of a man when he squeezed her boob then acted like she'd asked for it.

My hands curled into fists at the memory. I blew out a slow breath to calm myself. I still couldn't believe I'd slapped Ethan today. The move was so unlike me. He'd insulted me, infuriated me, even. That didn't give me the right to hit him.

I thought back over the moment. He'd seen it coming. He'd had time to move away, to stop me, but he didn't. He let me hit him. Why?

"How's the new story?" Lily wiped down the table and carried the dishes to the industrial sink in the kitchen. "Any progress?"

"Some." I hadn't told her much about it, but that wasn't new. Lily understood I wasn't ready to talk about my books yet. "You'll be the first to read it." I finished my drink and tossed the cup into the water before moving to help her scrub. "Actually, I could use a new set of eyes on it tonight. I want to try posting it chapter by chapter on one of those serial reader sites."

"Sweet." She waggled her eyebrows. "Is it kinky?"

"Sort of." I bumped her hip with mine. "You can help me with that part too." How would the Ethan in my story react to getting slapped? It probably would have played right into the sex scene that came next. That Ethan enjoyed a little pain with his pleasure, and so did the woman he screwed.

Do I like those things?

I dragged my thoughts away from the bedroom and back to the present. Lily's upcoming dates could provide excellent opportunities to people watch. Personalities are so varied, and I'd barely scratched the surface on my own fictional people. I needed more to go on. More backstory, and of course, more drama and cozy moments to pull the characters together.

"Come on. I want to read this book of yours." Lily rinsed the dishes and set them up to dry, then dragged me to the booth where I'd dropped my laptop. She bounced on her toes. "Come on. Hurry up."

"It's loading. Geez." I snarked at her, but a warm feeling bloomed in my chest. "You're the best kind of best friend."

"Aw. That's sweet." She backhanded my shoulder. "But I'm still going to tell you if I think it's shit."

"Good." Stomach twisting and nerves on high alert, I handed her the computer. "It's just the first chapter I'll post tonight."

Lily snatched up the computer and plopped onto the seat across from me.

I watched her expressions shift, from the first laugh, to the gasp where she covered her mouth with both hands. "Shit, Becca." She peered at me over the top of the screen. "You have to post this. Come on. I found a few typos, and maybe a plot hole. Let's go over it together."

A few hours and three customers later, the chapter was finished and I'd loaded it up onto a site where serialized fiction had become a raging success. My finger hovered over the button.

"Do it." Lily nudged me again.

"Is it obvious that I'm talking about Ethan?" I'd renamed the character, but still…

Lily pressed my finger closer to the button. "No. I only know because I've seen the two of you together. No one else is going to know. And he's never going to read it, so who cares?"

Right. Who cared? I'd written the best opening chapter of my life. One click, and I was one step closer to my career as a romance writer. If readers liked this chapter and asked for more, I'd feel validated. More than that, I would have taken the next step. I closed my eyes and clicked.