Chapter Thirty-Six

" N o, never that." Clarity reached over and caressed her husband's cheek, which was slightly rough and in need of a shave.

"I know this might sound as though I am giving up, but I think you have to make yourself happy."

Alex expelled a sigh, turned his head, and kissed her palm. When he spoke again, his voice was thick with emotion.

"Mrs. Boswell said something similar, and I believe I understand what you're both trying to tell me. Only I can make myself happy, mostly by being so."

Clarity felt like laughing and crying at the same time. But all she did was nod in agreement.

"Being with you makes me happy," Alex promised. "And at this moment, I know you're doing what comes naturally for a new mother," he continued, "but you look incredibly beautiful, and my body is aching for you in the worst way. I'm happy but frustrated with wanting you."

More unexpected words from her husband had her cheeks heating up again. It had been too long since they'd enjoyed one another, but sadly, it would be longer still before they could quench the flames of desire that even then flickered wickedly through her veins.

"How long?" he asked, seeming to read her thoughts as well as any fortune-teller. "A fortnight?"

"Longer, I'm sorry to say. Mrs. Boswell said I should wait for a month and a week."

Alex groaned. "A lunar month or a calendar month?"

Clarity couldn't help laughing. Just then, the door opened and in came the housemaid with her tea and toast.

"Thank God," she muttered. "I'm decidedly thirsty. And hungry. But mostly thirsty."

"Mrs. Dilbert said you'd want some cool well-water first, my lady."

"She was correct." And Clarity held out her hand for the glass, gulping the first sip with relish.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Alex demanded, getting out of bed, not caring that the maid squealed and fled the room. "Here we were chatting away, and you were parched like a desert camel."

Clarity drank her fill, all the time eyeing her muscular husband as he yanked on his trousers and shrugged into his dressing gown. It would be a long month to wait, indeed. Unless . . .

"Alex, come here and kiss me," she ordered.

He froze. "What about Thomas?"

"He won't mind, as long as you don't squish him."

Alex was quick to obey, and soon Clarity had his firm lips upon her own.

"Mm," she moaned.

At last, he pulled away and handed her the plate of toast.

"Take a piece," she offered. "Our son will be done soon, and we can go downstairs to a proper breakfast. But do pour the tea, please. I'm parched for it."

He continued to do as she asked.

"You suddenly seem chipper, wife, as if you don't mind the forced cessation of hunt the squirrel."

She burst out laughing at the ridiculous, naughty phrase, spraying toast crumbs onto Thomas's wool-clad shoulder. Alex apologetically wiped up their baby while she had a sip of tea.

"Dearest husband, while we may not be able to play that particular game, when you kissed me, you sent shivers of delight dancing through my body. I realized we can do other things, can we not? Perhaps it will make the wait worthwhile."

A grin spread slowly upon his face this time.

"Lady Hollidge, you are a very clever woman. How did I get so lucky?"

Two weeks later, in the late afternoon, Clarity entered her home on Grosvenor Square, with Alex at her back. She was determined to think of it in that manner, as her home, even though before she'd fled, she had felt more like a guest.

"I am going to my study," Alex told her. "I need to take a glance at the correspondence. I'll let you get settled and meet you for dinner."

And then he kissed her in front of his butler and Winnie, who held a sleeping Thomas.

Before he pulled away, her husband sank his teeth gently into her lower lip and tugged, making her knees go weak for him.

Good Lord, but the man knew how to get her sizzling! Another fortnight and they would be able to do much more than the pleasurable stroking they'd engaged in recently while sharing a bed, waiting for the baby to need his nighttime feedings.

"I look forward to it," she said, referring to the end of their abstinence as much as dinner that evening.

He winked, as usual reading her wicked thoughts before heading toward his study.

"Come along, Winnie," Clarity said, taking her baby from the maid's arms. Top on her list was finding a nursemaid, allowing Winnie to return to her regular duties.

At that moment, though, the first thing she wanted to do was settle Thomas into the nursery. Opening the door upstairs, she was thrilled to see it looking as ideal as she recalled.

While laying her son into his crib, she heard steps enter the room and turned to face Lady Aston.

"You're back," his aunt said, neither with enthusiasm nor condemnation.

Clarity had been wondering how best to approach the situation of Alex's formidable aunt.

"Not only am I back," she said, "but I have brought our son."

"I am aware. I received a letter from Alex. Congratulations," she said. And unlike most people, she didn't hurry over to peer into the small bed.

"You may come closer," Clarity encouraged her. "Come see your grandnephew."

Lady Aston flinched, perhaps at the term "grand," which she might perceive as an indication of her age. Regardless, as invited, she came closer and peered down.

"Hm," she intoned. "Young Thomas looks exactly like Alexander did and like his father before him. I recall my brother having the same shaped head and expression. I was five at the time."

That was more than Clarity had expected. Despite all the other slights she'd endured from Alex's aunt, at least the woman didn't think she'd cuckolded her husband.

She glanced at Winnie. "Let me know when he needs me," Clarity told her before looking at Lady Aston. "Shall we go have tea, or do you prefer something stronger?"

Alex's aunt appeared surprised. Clarity didn't wait for a response, partly because she feared the older lady would simply turn her down and leave her standing.

With determination, she led the way to the drawing room, one flight down.

Upon entering, Clarity tugged the bell-pull before taking the winged chair that Lady Aston often commandeered. Immediately, she wished she hadn't. The velvet retained the scent of Alex's aunt's lavender fragrance, not to mention how her confiscation of the favored seat seemed mean-spirited and confrontational.

On the other hand, Lady Aston's perplexed expression indicated Clarity had succeeded in throwing her off-kilter. And that was a good thing.

"Tea or port?" Clarity tried again when Lady Aston took a seat on the sofa.

"Tea," Alex's aunt said quietly, pursing her lips.

The butler entered swiftly, directly addressing Lady Aston.

"Yes, my lady. What do you wish?" he asked.

"We would like tea," Clarity answered before she could speak, drawing Mr. Berard's startled gaze. "And if there is any lemon cake, I fancy a piece. If not, some biscuits will be fine."

The butler gaped, then nodded, but still, he glanced to Lady Aston for confirmation.

Clarity was done with such willful disrespect.

"Mr. Berard, I know you've always looked after the occupants of this house and done so to the utmost of your ability. But I've had a long journey and desire tea. If you are unwilling to fulfill my request, please send in a maid who will do it."

It was not the way Clarity wanted to treat her staff, but she was not going to let them behave as if she were a shadow in the corner. Not anymore. Hopefully, she could soon gain their loyalty and then go back to the easygoing way she preferred.

The man's cheeks turned red. "Yes, my lady." He bowed and retreated.

When he reached the door, however, she stopped him.

"If my husband has forgotten to ask, please take him a glass of port and something to nibble on. He is in the study, already working, and I would hate for him to disregard his health."

"At once, my lady."

Clarity sighed. There was more than one dragon to vanquish under this roof, and that one was a baby lizard compared to the one seated opposite her. She might as well start with the bare truth that had been gnawing at her ever since she'd heard Alex say the words months earlier.

"I understand you told my husband he ought never to return to Oak Grove Hall during all these years, nor visit my family in London. You indicated my mother would be uncomfortable since she blames him for her friend's death."

Lady Aston went pale.

"I can assure you that was a mistake on your part," Clarity continued. "My mother would have welcomed her friend's only child. We all missed Alex's presence." She glanced down at her lap and squeezed her hands together for strength before she looked up at Lady Aston again.

"Lady Diamond doesn't blame Alex for his parents' death, not a whit."

She let hang in the air the natural conclusion to her sentence. Clarity's mother blamed Lady Aston instead.

With little hesitation, Alex's aunt nodded. "I am glad to hear your mother holds no ill will against my nephew. I could see that for myself during the ball last July."

"In fact," Clarity added, "it may have done him good to be somewhere warm and friendly with loving people."

"Being with all of you might also have been painful for him when he was younger. Everything would have been the same, except he would no longer have his parents. Thus, everything would also be dreadfully altered."

Clarity paused. She hadn't considered that. Perhaps he would have been hurt and even resentful.

"Do you think the harsh boarding school was a proper environment for a grieving boy?"

His aunt was saved from answering by a tap on the door and the entrance of a housemaid with a tray. Silence reigned while tea was poured and cake was handed out.

Then Clarity stared at Alex's father's older sister and wondered how the woman could have condemned her nephew to such loneliness.

Lady Aston sipped her tea. "He was better off at the school with boys his own age than here." She gestured around the expansive parlor. "For one thing, his parents' absence from this house was like nothing you can imagine."

Lady Aston was correct. Clarity couldn't envision the terrible emptiness.

"Moreover," Alex's aunt continued, "none of the other youngsters of his status remained home. He would have been ostracized as weak, and he wouldn't have made any of the necessary connections among his peers."

Clarity sipped her tea, considering his aunt's words.

"Besides," the older lady said with a stubborn lift of her chin, "he came home on holidays. And then he became a brilliant student at Oxford, where men could give him the guidance his father was no longer here to provide."

"My father would have been happy to assist."

His aunt shrugged. "That's all in the past. I always wanted what was best for my brother's son."

Including Miss Brambury, Clarity nearly blurted. But Emmeline was water under the bridge and an entire pregnancy ago.

They both sipped their tea and simultaneously took a bite of the cake.

"I had no children of my own," Lady Aston remarked out of the blue. "I did my best for an orphan, one who didn't like me much and was at risk of drowning in his own sorrow. A little toughening discipline at school could only help him."

"Not if he was brutalized."

"Nonsense! He was a viscount. They didn't harm him really, or they would have had to answer to me." Lady Aston raised her chin.

"Seeing my little Thomas now," Clarity said, "I cannot imagine ever sending him away."

"You will do whatever is necessary for him to have the best life, I have no doubt," Lady Aston said, "just as I did."

Clarity clamped her lips around any further harsh words. The woman refused to see it any way besides her own. In any case, Clarity was beginning to think there was some merit in what Lady Aston had done, despite not agreeing with all her decisions.