Chapter Thirty-One

B ack upstairs, having donned his overcoat, Alex was yanking on his gloves when his aunt came through the front door.

"Mr. Berard is holding my taxi for you," she said. "He mentioned you're in a hurry. Has something happened?"

"Clarity has left me."

His aunt gasped, her nostrils flaring. He was glad he didn't see even the smallest glimpse of gladness or triumph. Instead, surprise was rapidly replaced by disapproval.

"It certainly doesn't look good to have one's wife up and leave. You had best go after her and bring her back."

"That's what I'm doing," he said through gritted teeth, dodging past her, resenting her seeming more worried about appearances rather than Clarity's safety.

Twilight had given way to darkness when he reached Lord and Lady Diamond's home on Piccadilly. Foregoing any semblance of calm propriety, he knocked on the door and then opened it, not waiting for the butler.

"Alex," came Lord Diamond's voice at the top of the staircase. "Head into the drawing room. I'll join you in a minute."

"I came to see Clarity." He didn't have time to sit with his father-in-law.

"I know," His Lordship said.

"She is here, is she not?" he asked, dreading the answer if she wasn't.

"She is," Lord Diamond told him.

Relief, pure and simple, took hold of him, and he had to look away before he unmanned himself before the earl. Alex hadn't realized exactly how scared he was that she'd gone some place where he couldn't find her.

Without another word, he strode across the foyer and into the drawing room.

After an excruciatingly long minute, Lady Diamond entered, followed by her husband but not by Clarity.

"I would like to see my wife," Alex persisted. He hadn't needed to study law at Oxford to know he had every right to be given access to Clarity whenever he wished, and even her parents couldn't keep him from her.

"She's napping," her mother said.

Alex paused, thinking of how sweet Clarity was when she fell asleep anywhere in their house like a dormouse.

"She gets fatigued often," he conceded. "I shall wait until she awakens and then take her home."

Lord Diamond sighed. "She doesn't want to go back to Grosvenor Square tonight," he said. "Since she's now a married woman, she has put us in a predicament." The earl knew as well as Alex that they shouldn't interfere, at least in the eyes of the law.

"Geoffrey," Lady Diamond said, as if speaking to her husband in private. "Our daughter is not the one who has brought this about, at least not by herself." Then she eyed Alex, reminding him of his own mother's discerning gaze.

Alex swallowed, fully comprehending that he was being chastised. "What has she told you?"

"She doesn't have to say anything," Lady Diamond added. "But she is clearly unhappy. And an unhappy Clarity breaks my heart."

Alex considered this. "She didn't tell you why she came?"

Lord Diamond leaned back and crossed his arms. "Why don't you tell us why she is here, napping in her old room, looking as if she just lost her best friend? Again."

"Again?" Alex asked.

"She was a distraught little girl when you stopped visiting us after your parents' passing."

It wasn't as though he'd wanted the terrible tragedy to happen. In any case, he couldn't change the past, and it didn't matter anyway.

"She's no longer a little girl. She's my wife, carrying my child, and I want her to come home."

Both her parents remained silent. Finally, under their scrutiny, he confessed.

"We had a quarrel earlier today. I inadvertently offended her."

"I see," her mother said. "It seems strange she would run away after a single inadvertent offense." She had a single eyebrow raised in a way that Clarity had perfected.

Yet he refused to explain any more. The intimate matters of their marriage needed to stay between him and Clarity.

"Shall I return later or will you accompany her home yourself?" he asked her father. "Obviously, she can't come alone in a hackney."

"Of course not," her father agreed. "When Clarity awakens, we'll determine her wishes."

Her wishes! That sounded ominous and not at all as if they were cooperating.

"If we need you to return," her mother said, "we'll send word."

Short of storming the staircase and upsetting his sleeping wife, Alex didn't know how to break this impasse. Rising, he bowed and was almost out of the room when Lady Diamond halted him with a question.

"Do you regret marrying our daughter?"

"Caroline!" Lord Diamond said, shaking his head at the bold, personal query.

Alex flinched. Had Clarity said something to her parents, indicating her own change of heart?

"I don't mind answering. I have no regrets. I love her."

"Precisely as she is?" her mother pressed.

He didn't hesitate. "I promise you she has my heart. If sometimes I might hope she were less exuberant, it is only to make life easier."

"Yours or hers?" Lady Diamond asked, her tone becoming slightly sharper.

"What my wife is trying to say, Hollidge," the earl interrupted, "is that Clarity has always been a joyful person. From a happy baby, she has grown to be a jubilant adult. Anything, or anyone ," he added pointedly, "that dims her sunny nature is cause for our alarm."

"I have no wish to diminish her natural joy," Alex asserted, "but she is a viscountess now and soon to be a mother."

"And thus, you believe she should be less happy?" her mother asked.

"No, I . . ." Alex began. He hadn't said that. Lady Diamond was twisting his words. He was tired. Too many interrupted nights, too many worry-filled days.

Surely, they understood their daughter needed to show more caution, more maturity, more restraint, more gravity.

How could he keep her safe if she were reckless? Not that being safe meant not being happy, merely being more thoughtful. At least, that was his intention.

"Clarity must rein in her high-spirited tendencies and embrace her new roles, all of them, as I had to do at age thirteen. Otherwise, who knows what might happen?"

"What might happen?" her mother asked.

He could not live in constant fear of losing her to some silly lark, to climbing a ladder, falling into a river, or even allowing a robber into their house, for God's sake. It was bad enough knowing she might not survive childbirth.

Nonetheless, he could hardly express his fears, particularly to the mother of five healthy children. Lady Diamond would dismiss them out of hand.

"She might continue to fall short," he said lamely, knowing it didn't say all he meant.

"Fall short," her father repeated, frowning and turning to his wife whose eyes had widened considerably.

Alex knew he'd said the wrong thing.

"Our eldest daughter is not living up to your expectations?" Lord Diamond asked, his tone one of astonishment.

"I did not mean that," Alex said quickly. "We had a dinner party, and when it went badly, she stopped doing anything expected of a lady of the house, even arranging flowers. And early on, she spoke of redecorating the common rooms in our home, but I think she became overwhelmed."

They stared at him as though he had sprouted an extra head.

"Our daughter has been making lovely floral arrangements since she was old enough to go into our garden and pick blooms," Lady Diamond said. "Your mother had a great fondness for flowers, you may recall, and complimented Clarity when she was about seven years of age. As for organizing a dinner party, my daughter has well been able to since she was fourteen. And as to the redecorating of your home, the last I heard, she had been encouraged not to change anything by another member of your household."

Alex knew to whom she referred, but he knew nothing of his aunt telling Clarity not to change the interior of their home.

"If you have not already, you might take a look at the one room she did decorate to prepare for your forthcoming child."

Alex rose to his feet. "You must excuse me. Like my wife, I am tired, although for different reasons. Naturally, you heard about the intruder."

Her parents also stood. "Yes, we did," Lady Diamond said, sounding more like her congenial self. "We're very grateful for how you handled the dreadful situation."

"In your place," Lord Diamond added, "I would have done the same thing."

That was kind of them, to ease his conscience about what had happened.

"I haven't slept soundly since that night," Alex acknowledged, not bothering to tell them he hadn't slept well prior to the cracksman's break-in, either.

Not with the blasted nightmares having returned full force since his marriage!

"It is late," Lady Diamond pointed out. "Why don't you return home and let Clarity stay here tonight? She probably won't want to get out of bed again this evening. You can return home and rest, too."

He hesitated. It didn't sit well to leave his wife behind and not have her under his roof. On the other hand, her parents' home was the one place he knew she would be as safe as if she were with him.

"Very well." Alex took his leave and hoped his aunt had retired. He had no wish to explain why he'd returned empty-handed.

It had been an easy decision to leave London. Upon hearing Alex's voice the night before, Clarity crept downstairs and listened at the drawing-room door.

A grown woman and a wife, eavesdropping on her own husband! She ought to be ashamed.

Moreover, it served her right to hear him say she wasn't measuring up to his standards. Alex had told her own parents how she had fallen short of his expectations.

Clearly, neither of them was happy with her being Lady Hollidge. At first, she had assumed Alex would loosen his cravat and laugh more. And he had done exactly that, at least for a little while. However, his return to the easy-going nature she'd recollected hadn't lasted long.

Even before he found out about the baby she carried, Alex had begun to take everything too seriously again. Knowing life was precious and fragile was one thing. Tamping down each bit of amusement the way one snuffed out a candle was quite another.

No longer did she look forward to their meals together, whether with Lady Aston or by themselves when Alex's aunt was out. During the months since Clarity moved in, Lady Aston had kept her seat at one head of the dining table for dinner and supper. In the beginning, Clarity saw the lopsided and ugly arrangement, sitting midway between Alex and his aunt, less as a slight to her status and more as a fortunate way to be closer to her husband.

Now she wondered if she ought to have insisted on taking her rightful place. Even when Lady Aston was at a concert or at the theater with Major Grover, Clarity didn't assume the end seat. It would feel as if she were an interloper or worse, a child playing the part of an adult. Besides, the following night, there would be an awkward stand-off if Clarity challenged the older woman.

Unfortunately, even allowing Lady Aston to remain in charge of the housekeeper and the maids had not made the woman any more pleasant to live with. If anything, she'd become increasingly waspish.

After putting up with all of that and still hearing Alex voice his disappointment, Clarity had made up her mind to go away. It wasn't enough to stay at her parents' home. It was too close and too easy for Alex to cajole her into returning to Grosvenor Square — or force her, which would not only be embarrassing but would alter the tenor of their relationship forever.

As she traveled along in the luxurious train carriage with Purity and Adam for company, along with Winnie and one of her father's footmen, she tried to dismiss the pointless thoughts. Yet it was irksome how the blame for any mistakes made since she'd become Lady Hollidge had been laid at her feet, while any small successes had been snatched by Lady Aston as if she'd managed to triumph despite Clarity's bumbling.

Sighing, she felt the tears gather. She was no bumbler. As the eldest daughter, she'd watched her mother run both their home in Town and their country estate to which she now journeyed. Moreover, she'd helped her on many occasions. Clarity was confident she knew how to do both. For some reason, she'd relinquished her confidence along with her maiden name.

She sniffed. Adam, seated opposite with his back to the direction in which they traveled, looked up from his book. Beside her, Purity took hold of her gloved hand and leaned against her. They were her support as she left her unhappy husband to carry on in London, with his imperious aunt continuing to clench the reins at Grosvenor Square.

"I am relieved to be going to Oak Grove," Clarity said, trying to keep the waver from her voice. "I can relax and enjoy the remainder of my lying in."

"I, for one, intend to catch up on my correspondence and reading," her brother said. "Maybe I'll even go hunting, though it's almost too late for foxes and far too early for grouse."

"You should invite a friend, maybe Lord Kilbey," Clarity said, then recalled the last time they were all at Oak Grove with Alex, and the tears started to trickle down her cheeks.

Purity handed her a handkerchief. "Please, dear one, don't grow melancholy. Adam and I couldn't bear it. For our sakes, try to think happy thoughts."

Clarity nodded. "How generous of Father to agree to open the house. I know it's a great expense for only the three of us."

She had dragged her brother from his London interests while in between terms at Oxford. Normally, he would either shadow their father or attend the gallery of the House of Commons, where he studied the debates with particular interest this election year. As for Purity, she was now the most eligible Diamond sister with a full calendar of spring and early summer events. Yet they had both come willingly.

"It will be fun," Purity said. "We shall stay up late reading aloud to one another, play music and sing off-key with no one to judge us, and eat our meals at any hour we choose. That is, any hour that Cook allows."

Clarity smiled. Her sister was trying hard to cheer her.

"You sound like me," she said, "without once mentioning what propriety or society dictates we ought to do. Besides, it's not Cook. It will be Mrs. Dilbert."

They fell silent, and Adam wrinkled his nose. Mrs. Dilbert, who oversaw the house when Mrs. Cumby was in London and the family wasn't in residence, was also in charge of the kitchen when their regular cook wasn't there. Occasionally, they'd sampled her best efforts, but nothing had been quite right.

"Her cooking isn't terrible," Purity said finally, and they all laughed.

"It bloody well is," Adam protested. "She's fit to clean the stove, not whip up meals at it."

"We'll help her," Clarity said, bringing stunned silence from her siblings. "Why not?" she demanded. "If nothing else, we can at least tell her what something is supposed to taste like. Maybe it will be fun. Besides, we can't do any worse."

"You ladies can play in the kitchen," Adam said. "I shan't be doing any such thing, but I pledge to eat whatever you concoct without fussing."

Despite the circumstances, Clarity was determined to look on the bright side. Sometime soon, she would bring a new babe into the world, and she was determined to surround him or her with joy.

"I am thrilled to think of my little one in our old nursery," she said, glancing out the window as they approached the Derby Midland station. A coach would take them the few minutes to the hall.

Feeling the silence grow thicker, she glanced at her two siblings, who were eyeing each other.

"What is it?"

"Do you think we'll be here that long?" Adam asked.

"We don't mind, of course," Purity said, "but I would think your husband will come after you and . . ." She trailed off.

"Try to drag me home?" Clarity said. "I would like to see him try."

Adam shook his head. "Poor Alex, marrying the oldest, most stubborn Diamond sister."

"That's not a nice thing to say about your own kin," Purity scolded, and the train car rocked to a halt.

"Maybe he'll be glad to be rid of me." Clarity tried to say it in a teasing voice, but it fell flat.

"You know that's not the case," Purity said.

"Never mind. Let's not talk about it anymore." Descending from the train, the two sisters strolled along the platform to where taxis awaited, with Winnie in tow. Clarity realized she was at a stage where she waddled more than walked. Alex sometimes, when in a good mood, quacked rudely as she went by, making her laugh.

Trying not to think of her husband, she waited while Adam secured a carriage and their footman arranged for the trunks. Then she had a cheering notion.

"Let's enjoy Oak Grove Hall," she said to Purity, "and pretend we are children again, and our parents have gone away and forgotten us."