Chapter Twenty-Eight

I n the days and weeks that followed, Clarity kept her visage perfectly placid. She had seen just such a mild expression on Emmeline Brambury and could imitate it perfectly. Using it, she would not give Lady Aston the satisfaction of knowing how she'd destroyed Clarity's confidence, nor how she'd caused a rift between the newlyweds.

The latter was probably an accident. For Clarity couldn't see how Alex's aunt gained anything by driving a wedge between the spouses. Yet she was certain of one thing — the woman wanted to maintain her control of the Hollidge household. And while Alex considered his wife to be incompetent, he would allow his aunt to remain in charge.

In any case, for the time being, with the change that was taking place inside her, Clarity was not only willing to cease trying to wrestle control of her new home, she was going to heap every task she could think of upon Lady Aston.

Except one — redecorating the room that had once been Alex's nursery and now would belong to their baby.

In short order, Clarity stopped doing anything. When the flowers arrived for her to arrange as she had been doing since she'd moved in, she left them to die until his aunt started putting them haphazardly in vases.

When the butler asked if she wanted to continue the weekly purchase of port that was the same as her father's and brother's loved drink, which she'd first ordered for Alex, she declined.

"Whatever Lady Aston used to buy is fine."

And when at last the draper came to discuss fabric for new curtains throughout the house, she showed him to the sole room she was interested in redecorating.

With her remaining time, she folded paper into abstract shapes that looked nothing like she intended, visited with her family and friends, and with her lady's maid, Winnie, accompanying her, took endless walks in Mayfair.

When Alex tried to broach the topic of her doing more regarding the household, she merely shook her head.

"Your aunt has it all under control," Clarity reminded him.

But when he reached for her in their large bed, she could not deny either of them the pleasure of slaking their hunger for one another.

Alex knew something was changing with his whimsical wife. Something besides her inexplicable refusal to take up the mantle of being his viscountess. She'd had a single bad experience and needed time to lick her wounds before she would try again.

But the real change was something else. Where previously, Clarity had boundless energy, she was now prone to bouts of fatigue, and more than once, he had found her napping like a cat on the sofa, snoring softly in the parlor.

Also, her breasts, which had always been full, had grown plumper.

At first, he thought it to be his imagination. But as she rode rantipole atop him one night, he reached up to cup her breasts. When they spilled over from his palms, he knew they were larger.

Grabbing her by the waist, he stilled Clarity's enthusiastic movements, anchoring her in place.

Her heavy lids fluttered open, and she looked down at him, her blue eyes glazed with desire.

"Is there something you wish to tell me, wife?" he asked.

"Now?" She tried to defy him and continue her pleasure ride, but he wouldn't let her move.

"Yes, now," he insisted, resting his fingers on her gently curved stomach.

She sighed deeply, and her glorious bosom rose and fell before him. Definitely larger and more spectacular than before.

"I am expecting," she confessed, "and I was going to tell you soon. Maybe even tonight after we finished! Please, Alex." Her teeth sank into her lower lip, and he couldn't resist her.

He pulled her down onto his chest and then rolled her beneath him. After a few firm strokes, she was arching back and tightening around him. Her body's rapid response caused his own climax to swiftly follow a heartbeat behind as he drove into her warmth.

However, he was careful not to collapse atop her. Instead, he stretched out next to her, took Clarity's hand in his and with his other, drew the bed clothes up and over them.

"I am going to be a father," he said.

"And I'm going to be a mother," she added. "I cannot tell from your tone if you're happy."

"Of course I am happy. I'm only surprised."

"Well, we have enjoyed ourselves often," she reminded him. "You shouldn't be that shocked."

He chuckled at her words. "Not overall, no, but in this moment I am. I assume you've had some time to get used to the idea."

She nodded, then asked, "How did you know?"

"A man knows his wife's breasts," he told her.

She giggled.

"Have you told your family?"

"I would tell no one until I told you." She yawned. "I suppose we should tell your aunt tomorrow."

"A built-in nanny," he teased.

But Clarity didn't laugh. She turned on her side and stared at him.

"Lady Aston will have no part in raising our child," she said vehemently.

Thinking of his life before and after his parents, he said, "Agreed."

"And I intend to paint the walls and change the wallpaper in the nursery," she declared.

"I would prefer you have a professional do it," he said, "unless you're particularly good at it, but I don't want you up a ladder until after the baby is born."

She punched him in the shoulder. "I cannot tell if you're joking, but I do not need permission to redecorate the nursery or any room," she said, although she spoiled the forcefulness of her declaration by asking, "Do I?"

"Obviously not. You are Lady Hollidge. Do whatever you wish to make this house into the home of your dreams."

"Thank you," she whispered and yawned again.

Soon, his adorable wife, mother of his unborn child, drifted off to sleep, and Alex was right behind her, traipsing into the land of Nod.

Until the damn nightmare started, and he found himself in the carriage with his parents, knowing what was about to happen, unable to stop it, and as terrified as the child he had been at the time. Clarity was there, too, laughingly changing between the child he grew up with and the woman who was his wife, and back again.

Desperate, frantic, he tried warning them, but they couldn't hear his cries. Thrashing, he awakened to glaring moonlight streaming through a slim parting in their curtains, slashing directly across their counterpane.

With his heart pounding, Alex climbed out of bed, making sure not to disturb the woman who had his heart, and went to his study where a decanter of French brandy awaited.

"What are you reading so intently?" Alex asked her. He'd come late into the informal salon where they often took their breakfast, and she hadn't even looked up.

She giggled. "My goodness, dear husband. I didn't hear you come in. Kiss me, and I'll tell you."

He grinned. In her expectant state, she went between smiles and tears each hour. She cried if he said something too kind or romantic and laughed uproariously at the silliest things. But what she didn't do was attempt again to run the household. She seemed utterly content to let his aunt handle the entire winter season, including Christmas and the Twelfthtide.

The only festive gathering Aunt Elizabeth hadn't attended was a Stir-Up Sunday celebration at the Diamond's home. Alex enjoyed their tradition of going over the year's accomplishments on the last Sunday before Advent. His and Clarity's news had been blatantly obvious with her blossoming figure.

Leaning down on the chilly February morning, he kissed her full on the lips, no matter the footman standing nearby awaiting an order for tea, coffee, or chocolate.

"You know we kissed a few minutes ago." As usual, when they awakened, they kissed. When one of them left the bedroom ahead of the other, they kissed.

"I know," she said.

"I only ask because you've been a bit distracted, even forgetful lately."

"I haven't!" She declared. "Have I?"

This time, he laughed. "You have but never mind. I'm here to remind you of anything you need. Anyway, you were going to tell me something."

"I was?" she asked, looking mystified. "About what?"

He rolled his eyes. "About what you were reading."

"Oh, yes! There's a robber entering some of the best houses, not a nibbler, either. He's taking as much as he can get away with."

"May I?" he asked.

She handed him The Times as he sat down. Before he could read a word, she started to speak.

"The Bedingtons were robbed this week, and the Wolstenholmes on Mount Street a few days prior. At first, they were keeping it quiet to avoid public panic, but now Scotland Yard is investigating. Inspector Field thinks it best to let people know about the threat. Thus, we can all be watchful."

Alex scanned the story. Both the robberies were within a few blocks.

"It's rather exciting," Clarity declared, breaking into his thoughts. "Remember when we pretended to be highwaymen and held up my parents' carriage?"

For a moment, he smiled at the memory, crystal clear of the both of them on horses with handkerchiefs over their faces. Her parents, riding in an open curricle coming down their long drive at Oak Grove Hall, knew it was them as soon as they burst from behind the hedge on familiar horses.

Regardless, Lord and Lady Diamond played along and gave them each a silver coin.

Then he sobered. "It's not exciting. It is bloody dangerous. I shall make sure Mr. Berard looks over the latches on all the windows and the door locks, too."

She merely shrugged. "I always feel perfectly safe when I am with you."

He felt a constriction across his chest, as if a band of iron was tightening around him. More than anyone, he knew he couldn't keep her safe. And yet, he was determined to do the impossible.

That night, the nightmares awakened him, not once but twice. The second time, he went downstairs with a lamp to patrol the windows, making sure each latch was fastened.

The following day, while his wife was bubbling with vivacity as usual over breakfast, glowing with her condition, Alex felt weary and cranky. He could barely keep his eyes open at his desk while trying to answer correspondence.

When she came into his study with a maid behind her carrying a pot of tea and some of his favorite shortbread biscuits, he snapped at her.

"I cannot concentrate on these accounts with you popping into my private space every five minutes!"

Shocked by his vehemence, Clarity took a step back, nearly knocking the tray out of the maid's hands. Instinctively, her arms went around her now-protruding stomach.

Alex felt like an ogre.

Jumping up, he rushed around his desk before she could escape.

"I am exceedingly sorry," he said, taking hold of both her hands, ignoring the housemaid's shocked expression. "Please forgive me."

Clarity appeared close to tears, but she nodded.

"Set the tray down," he told the maid-of-all-work, "and bring an extra cup for Lady Hollidge."

"Yes, my lord." The girl retreated from the embarrassing scene.

"I will have tea only if you'll have it with me," he vowed. "Besides, you've brought enough biscuits for an army. Please stay."

"I will," she agreed, allowing him to lead her to the chair by the fire, then dragging his from behind the desk to sit beside her.

"It's not like you to yell at me," she said.

"It's inexcusable. There is no reason for it." He didn't want to tell her about the nightmares. Instead, he added, "I had trouble sleeping last night."

"I didn't notice," she said.

"Because you were soundly sleeping as you should," he said.

"That is one thing about carrying a child. I can sleep better than I ever have before. Mother says I had best enjoy it because when I get bigger, I shall not be as comfortable."

"It's hard to believe you will get bigger," he marveled. His slender wife was beginning to look as if she'd swallowed a gourd.

"I shall. I have been through this four times," she said, "although I only recall the last three."

For a moment, he was mystified by her words. Then he understood. "With your mother carrying your siblings?"

"Exactly. Her stomach grew too big for me to be able to sit on her lap, and it made me very cross."

"I just realized the first time we met that you were an only child like me," he said.

"I don't remember that meeting."

"Nor I. I think I was five. But the next time I came back, Purity was in the cradle, and you were toddling around."

"I don't remember that, either."

"Who would have thought that grungy tot in leading strings would grow up to be my beautiful viscountess?"

The maid returned with another cup and saucer, then left them alone again.

"Our mothers thought, that's who," Clarity reminded him.

"Smart ladies," he muttered, pouring for both of them and handing her a biscuit, which she dunked into her tea before eating it in two bites.

Soon, she'd polished off all but the one he ate.

"Shall I call for more?" he asked. "Or have you had sufficient to hold you over until dinner?"

She laughed. "You haven't forgotten the dinner party at my parents, have you?"

Of course he had!

"Of course not," he said. How had he forgotten? He wanted to weep with the thought of what lay ahead that night, about four hours of being a good guest. At least it was merely a dinner and not a dance, but it would be long and exceptionally merry, as only a Diamond party could be.

Perhaps he could dash upstairs and take a catnap before they left.

Brushing off her hands, unmindful of the crumbs falling on her skirt and on the floor, Clarity rose.

"I have a few more things to do before I change for dinner. Maybe I shall even lie down for a few minutes," she added, stealing his idea.

At the door, she turned. "Perhaps we could do so together."

He almost groaned. Her pregnancy was having a strange effect on her about which he'd had no prior knowledge or warning — making her extremely randy. Normally, that wouldn't be a problem. Today, however, if he stretched out upon the bed, he feared he could do nothing to satisfy her. His eyes would close, and he would find himself dead to the world.

"Perhaps," he said.

She frowned. "You don't sound particularly enthusiastic."

"I'm distracted. Nothing more. I have a lot to get through before we depart."

In the end, he was rushed and without having napped, he felt needlessly nettled. He didn't wish to go eat with his in-laws. When his valet was doing his best, Alex griped about everything. Eventually, the man lowered his hands from adjusting the cravat for the third time and uncharacteristically sighed.

"My lord, perhaps you would prefer a simple necktie."

"No! I'm not appearing at the Earl Diamond's dining table in such a slovenly fashion. Just get it right this time, Mr. Lawson."

"Yes, my lord."

Painstakingly, his valet tied the cravat again. It still looked wrong, but Alex stormed out and hurried downstairs to find his perfect, happy, smiling wife in the front hall, already wearing her thick mantle against the chill night air.

"You look especially handsome tonight, my love," Clarity said.

With her words, Alex plastered on a smile, swallowed his unwarranted peevishness, and decided to be joyful along with her for the remainder of the evening.

But that night in bed, when he felt her turn to him, murmur a passionate endearment, and lay her hand upon his chest, he could not respond with anything but a broad yawn. In the next instant, his eyelids slammed shut, and he knew nothing again until the nightmare began.