Chapter Thirteen

C larity's heart beat a tattoo of excitement. Despite having spent the better part of the day in close quarters, now they were alone, butterflies took flight in her stomach.

Clutching her book and package of paper against her, she realized her hands were trembling.

Stop it! she admonished herself. It's only Alex.

Handsome, tall, sweet, kind, green-eyed, Alex. The man I love!

"I thought everyone had retired," he admitted, leaning on the door frame, arms crossed.

"I nearly had, but I remembered I'd left behind my gift from Lady Fenwick. It's a book and some paper, not for writing but for folding," she added, wishing she could stop yammering like a ninny. "What about you?"

He hesitated, then said, "This may sound strange, but I wanted to see your home when it was quiet and empty. It's a little disconcerting being here without my parents. My brain keeps telling me I'm a boy and they are here."

"I understand," she said. "It is strange for me, too, to see you here as you are now. I half expect to turn the corner and come across you as boyish Alex Ashley. And then, as you said, you were never here without Lord and Lady Hollidge. How wonderful this party would be if your parents were here today."

Alex nodded. "I suppose I wouldn't mind being a boy again since we had such good times, but I wouldn't want to go through all the years in between then and now."

Of course he wouldn't. "I am sorry," she whispered.

He shrugged, pushing away from the doorway and coming farther into the room.

"There are ghosts everywhere," he said. Walking to the piano, he trailed a finger across it.

Clarity shivered. "Ghosts?" she repeated.

"Of our past. I suppose more mine than yours since you continued to grow up here, but for me, each room holds a distinct memory. My mother sat at that piano and played one night, and I was in the window seat, wishing she would hurry and finish so I could go and explore."

When his voice thickened, Clarity's eyes filled with unshed tears.

"If I could," he continued, "I would now gladly sit for hours to listen to her and to talk with my father, too. There is much I wish to hear from them."

She tried to imagine the awful emptiness of not being able to speak with her own parents ever again. And then she had an idea.

"I know it's not the same, but my parents were very close to yours. I wonder if it might be helpful to you to speak with each of them."

Silently, he stared at her, his jaw clenched, and she couldn't tell what he was thinking. Perhaps she had overstepped.

"You could ask them what your parents thought about different things," she added, "maybe even if they had dreams for your future."

She almost wanted to tell him how his mother imagined them married, but that was an unfair secret from a long-dead woman. The last thing Clarity wanted was to manipulate Alex into making an irrational decision based on the past.

Nevertheless, if he took her in his arms that moment and invited her to spend her life with him, she would do it without hesitation. Something about him, even changed as he was, spoke to her heart so strongly she feared he alone could bring her happiness.

Because her knees weakened at that moment, Clarity sat on the piano bench. To her delight, he joined her.

Yet, when he still said nothing, she added, "You can think about it. Besides, I suppose you can ask your aunt many of the same questions."

Idly, she pressed a key, and a pure tone rang out into the silence.

Finally, Alex spoke. "I think your idea is genius. I will act upon it tomorrow. As for my aunt, she is more likely to talk about my father as a boy but little of him as an adult. They didn't exactly see eye to eye."

"Really?" she asked, blinking up at him as if that was a secret. Lady Aston had snapped waspishly at her younger brother, Alex's father, in mixed company.

He nodded. "I guess that much was obvious. Anyway, Aunt Elizabeth probably feels strange being here, too."

"She seemed precisely as she always has," Clarity said, making sure not to use any of the negative descriptions that popped into her head.

"No, truly, she grew quieter the closer we came to Oak Grove. If not for Miss Brambury, I think not a word would have been spoken for the last two hours of the journey."

Stiffening at the lady's name, Clarity wished his newfound romantic association didn't cause her such sadness. Envy and jealousy were petty emotions, but they were real just the same.

"Miss Brambury," she echoed, striking the black key under her finger. A flat, despondent note rang out.

"That's a melancholy tone," he said. "Is it your commentary upon the viscount's daughter?"

Did he want her opinion?

She ought to keep it bottled up. After all, what good would it do to have him think she disapproved of his choice?

"It is merely the note under my finger. Nothing more. It was gracious of you to invite Miss Brambury here to show her where you spent time as a youngling."

"I did not invite her."

Finally, she took her gaze from the keyboard and looked at him.

"Didn't you?"

"No," Alex spoke softly, "although I suppose I should have thought of it. But it was my aunt's doing."

"Thoughtful of her, then," Clarity said, trying to sound sincere.

Strangely, her words made him grunt. It might have been what now passed for his laughter.

"You don't sound convinced," he said.

"I do not wish to speak ill of Lady Aston. Thus, I shall say nothing more. It's getting late. Time for all sane folks to be in their beds."

Not really wishing to leave him, she rose from the bench anyway. His hand gripped her arm as he stood to join her.

"And what about all the not-so-sane? Is that what we are and why we are both here?" he asked.

Looking from where his bare hand held her arm, sending flames of heat flickering deep within her, and then back to his beloved face, she was speechless. When she licked her lips, he groaned. Worse, his eyes flashed a message she thought was the same deep longing she felt.

But he had Miss Brambury, and while Clarity might be considered the easy-going, playful Diamond daughter, she was not foolish. At least, not all the time.

"I came for my gift." She eased herself out from behind the bench, and he had to release her. Otherwise, the intent would have been clear and entirely inappropriate.

"Tomorrow, I hope you will speak with my parents and gain some peace. But please, feel free to wander around as long as you wish. No one will disturb you. Good night."

With that, she went toward the door.

"Thank you," he said.

If she turned to speak again, he would see her tears. Hence, she kept walking.

Alex could not recall when he had enjoyed himself more. In truth, he couldn't think of the last time he'd done something simply for fun. That morning at Oak Grove, the sun was sparkling upon the gently moving river, and he was surrounded by relaxed, happy people, including Adam, Clarity, and the earl himself, Lord Diamond, who'd given most of his family their dark-haired, blue-eyed looks.

What's more, Alex had just pulled a fish from the River Derwent, his first one since he'd been a boy.

He heard Clarity clap her hands before she laughed in her delightful way.

"Better than the last time, my lord."

He smiled back at her, using muscles that had seen little use in the past decade.

"You've stocked the stream and given me a good rod this time," he teased.

"I assure you it is entirely your skill," she said. "In any case, I intend to catch more."

"It's not a contest," Adam pointed out.

"Of course not," Clarity agreed, "but I still intend to win."

"You were never this competitive when we were children," Alex said. "Not that I can recall."

She jiggled her fishing pole impatiently.

"It was pointless when I was six or seven or even eight," Clarity said. "You were older and thus taller, faster, and stronger. Regarding most of the things we did, I couldn't hope to compete with you and win, except fish."

"And charades," he added. Then he remembered something she was very good at. "And hiding. Dear God! If you set your mind to hide, I could never find you. I used to give up and go have biscuits in the kitchen."

"Sometimes, I fell asleep waiting for you to find me," she confessed.

They looked at one another in silence.

Then Adam spoke, reminding them there were other people around.

"Perhaps I will catch the most, or Kilbey, or Brennon."

At her brother's words, Clarity's glance left Alex, and the strange moment passed. Before he knew it, she'd left him to see whether Brennon was any good at fishing. And then everyone settled in at the stream's edge, occasionally stepping away from their rod for a glass of lemonade or a Shrewsbury biscuit.

There was only one other female, Lady Fenwick, who professed to have been fishing since she was a wee lass. Sure enough, she patiently caught more than her husband, who spent more time chatting with Lord Diamond.

Suddenly, Clarity laughed loudly at something Brennon said.

"Hush! You'll scare the fish," said a crotchety voice, which Alex realized was his own when the others turned to look at him.

He felt his face warm with shame. It had been seeing Clarity leaning on Brennon's arm that had upset Alex far more than her laughter. He could well recall the feeling of her soft, full breast pressed against him, and it irked Alex to think of Brennon as the recipient of such delight.

"Nothing but a jest," he called out. "I don't think the fish have ears, anyway."

Truthfully, he'd been paying more attention to the people around him, a merry group, than to the trout. Alex couldn't deny a longing for such camaraderie in his daily life — a disquieting desire given how he hadn't let himself experience any such lightheartedness in years.

At university, it was no secret he preferred to remain at his studies while other students got up to the occasional mischief, usually directed at one of the hapless dons trying to lecture sense into them.

Beyond that, he found it nearly impossible not to keep an eye upon the dark-haired lady who was like an exotic flower in their midst. In full bloom, Clarity was waving her colorful petals over the entire fishing party.

What a muttonhead! Alex rolled his eyes until he could see whether he had a brain in his head, and then he felt a tugging on the line.

"I've got another one," he called out, feeling a foolish rush of excitement over something so trivial. It wasn't as if they needed his meager contribution to survive.

"Well done," Clarity exclaimed, before dropping her own rod and hurrying to his side.

"I haven't actually got it yet," he explained, pulling steadily and walking backward. "It seems to be bigger than a whale."

Her tinkling laughter distracted him. Looking at her smiling deep-blue eyes and generous mouth, he wanted to kiss her right then and there. Outrageous!

Suddenly, he was yanked back toward the water.

"Let me help," Clarity insisted, getting in front of him and wrapping her fingers around his pole.

"Stop! What are you doing?"

They were wrestling and moving toward the water. She tripped him with her slender legs as she tried to brace herself, and he fell over her while at the same time pushing her forward down the slight incline at the water's edge. In the blink of an eye, they both went into the shallow river.

A roar arose from the others, mostly guffaws of laughter.

"It's all right," Clarity called out over her shoulder. And in the same good humor, told everyone, "It's not deep at all."

"I can attest to that," Alex agreed, for he was sitting on the pebbly river bottom with water up only to his elbows. "But it is rather cool. You lunatic!" he added.

She shrugged, dismissing his insult with a flick of her hand, which sent more water droplets spraying his way.

When a fuse of hilarity lit inside of him, Alex couldn't put it out. Feeling the chortle start deep down in his gut, he let it rise to the surface, releasing a loud burst of laughter. Clarity joined in, and he laughed harder.

Strangely, after a few moments, he had the urge to cry, which sobered him swiftly. Regardless, he was still unable to stop until he developed a sudden bout of hiccups.

"Hold your breath," she advised. "And perhaps we should stand up. I'm not very comfortable."

"Nor I," he agreed, rising to his feet. In fact, soggy wool between his legs and on his nether regions was a nightmare, but he kept his mouth closed in case she mentioned his backside again. "Why didn't you drop the rod?" he asked.

"Why didn't you?" she retorted, taking the hand he offered and rising from the water like Venus.

His glance dropped to the bodice of her gown. On clear display were her nipples, or at least the outline of them, pearled against the sodden fabric. And he would swear he could actually see a shade of deep pink against the cream-color of her day gown.

"Um," he began. While his heart began to pound, he could think of only one thing. Two things actually! Clarity's breasts, naturally, but a third thing, too — protecting her. Swiftly, he unbuttoned his jacket.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Take this so you don't grow chilled," he said, shrugging out of it and shoving it toward her.

"But it's damp," she protested, pushing his hands and his dripping coat away.

"Is everything all right?" This from Adam, who didn't sound the least bit concerned by the mishap.

Luckily, Lord Diamond was in conversation again with Fenwick and paying them no mind.

"We're fine," Alex called over Clarity's shoulder.

Yet as she started to turn toward her brother, he grabbed her arm.

"Stop," he ordered, and she went still. "Take the blasted jacket," he insisted.

Her chin tilted and her gaze found his. "What is the matter?" she hissed.

"Look down," he urged, "and be careful not to poke your own eyes out."