Chapter Thirteen

Erybet had no intention of talking to his current least favorite squad leader. As luck would have it, he and Sletran crossed paths first thing the next morning. He had headed to his office early, and Sletran's direction indicated the Nobek was going to breakfast at the mess hall.

They slowed as soon as they realized they were approaching each other. Erybet searched for smugness on Sletran's face as he nodded acknowledgement to the requisite bow. As was always the case when they were on duty, the Nobek controlled whatever feelings he might have felt toward Erybet.

Erybet almost got past him without speaking, but the urge to do so overwhelmed him. He swung around and spoke to the departing soldier. "Squad Leader."

Did he imagine Sletran's shoulders sagging just a bit when he turned to respond? "Sir."

"I suppose Conyod spoke to you of our exchange before he left yesterday?"

Still no emotion. "He did, sir."

"I hope you understand I have the highest regard for you as a soldier and Nobek. I have enjoyed our time together, but my preferences aren't quite compatible where you're concerned."

The barest hint of a smile ghosted Sletran's lips, but he seemed resigned rather than amused. It made Erybet wonder if he'd seen him as more than a means to clan Conyod. "Sounds like the old saying, ‘it's me, not you.'"

A pang of regret surprised Erybet. He set it aside. "I suppose it does, but it's true. Maybe I've been foolish. Maybe you are exactly what Conyod wants for a lifemate. If it's the case, I wish you both the happiness you deserve."

Sletran's brows rose. After a beat, he said, "Thank you, sir. I wish the same for you. I know Conyod does as well."

Loss wash over Erybet. If only Conyod had given Tox a chance, he felt perfect happiness would have been in reach. "I'll see you around."

He turned and left, the loneliest in his life despite the many soldiers filling the grounds.

* * * *

Two weeks later

Sletran stood in front of High Commanders Zyrf, Nesmar, and Akrij in a tribunal chamber, schooling his expression to remain as bland as he possibly could. Fortunately, he had plenty of practice in the discipline of doing so.

He drew a breath and forced his tone to remain even as he looked Zyrf square in the eye. "In reply to your question, sir, once again I must repeat Group Commander Erybet has been an outstanding superior officer since I've come under his command. I've noted no instance of neglect of his duties. He's hard but fair. His attention to the discipline of soldiers Gavia and Toli was by the book. As it was I who was on the field running the explosives exercise, trusted by Commander Erybet to oversee their training, it was ultimately my responsibility for any problems that day, rather than him."

Zyrf's withering glare increased, probably because he wasn't hearing what he wished. "Group Commander Erybet was a lover of yours recently, was he not?"

"Yes sir. Was. We are no longer engaged in a relationship outside of our duties. Sir."

"Plenty of commanding officers engage personally with lower ranking soldiers. They clan them as well. As long as they follow the rules during the course of an intimate relationship, it's of no consequence," High Commander Akrij reminded Zyrf from his seat behind the polished wood stand. He sat in the middle of the group who looked down on Sletran, who stood alone on the glossy marble floor.

"As his lover, he has reason to protect Erybet," Zyrf growled. "A personal connection during the time of the incident could have easily led to a coverup of some sort."

"We can discuss the idea during our deliberations, but in our investigation thus far, no one has noted it as a problem. High Commander Nesmar, do you have further questions for Squad Leader Sletran?"

"None."

"High Commander Zyrf?"

Zyrf scowled. "No. You're dismissed, Squad Leader."

Sletran felt a sense of relief he'd be able to escape before the possibility of his simmering emotions exploding. He bowed and turned to face the gallery, filled with empty benches. It had been a closed interview, so no one beyond himself and the three high commanders were in attendance.

He started toward the door leading from the overly warm chamber…then paused. He looked at Akrij, who had a reputation for fairness.

Don't do it. This could screw you over badly.

His mouth spoke anyway. "Permission to speak candidly to this board, sir?"

Akrij's brow rose. "Granted."

"Thank you, sir." Sletran squared his shoulders. "Though High Commander Zyrf has never shown overt disrespect to Group Commander Erybet in the past to my knowledge, his dislike of having a Dramok of command rank serving under him is well known."

Zyrf half-rose from his chair. "You insubordinate—"

"Desist," Akrij warned him. "I'm ranking member of this inquiry, and I've given the squad leader permission to speak."

Snarling, Zyrf sat. His black glare promised retribution.

Goodbye, career. Oh well. I've started. No reason I shouldn't take it all the way.

"Continue, soldier, but mind you stick to facts. We aren't interested in your feelings," Akrij warned him in a stern tone.

"Yes sir. The facts are, High Commander Zyrf has ordered surprise field battles between Group Commander Erybet's various squads and the squads of fellow group commanders at a rate above the normal course of such exercises."

"As is my prerogative," Zyrf seethed.

"Yes sir, it is. However, Commander Binmej's group of squads have been ordered to undergo similar exercises a total of twice in the past year. Likewise, Commander Tox's groups. And the squads of three additional group commanders I could name. Every one of those exercises were against the soldiers under Commander Erybet, and none other."

"You're saying Erybet's group has had ten surprise field battles this year?" Nesmar appeared thunderstruck. He frowned at Zyrf, who looked positively apoplectic.

"Yes sir." Sletran let a hint of a smirk peek, but not enough he'd get called down for it. "Of which Commander Erybet's squads have won seventy percent, the highest for any group commander's troops. Obviously, I have no complaints when it comes to being the best. We enjoy showing our fighting readiness and proving we're the elite."

Akrij continued to display little emotion. "Is that all?"

"No sir. Despite our delight in adding to our victories, it is acknowledged by those I've spoken to in our group, troops and squad leaders alike, that we're regarded as less capable by High Commander Zyrf since we aren't led by a Nobek group commander. It serves to increase our determination to succeed. However, there's an issue of newer soldiers entering our group. They tend to believe they have permission to disrespect their group commander, due to the example set forth by his superior."

"It seems from your win tally, Group Commander Erybet handles such disrespect handily."

"Indeed, he does, sir. But it's a shame he has to. Imagine how much more successful his already impressive squads would be if he didn't have to expend energy on countering insubordinate displays."

"You've seen this conduct yourself? Firsthand?" Nesmar asked.

"I have, sir. I nearly participated in it myself when I was coming up in the ranks, but better sense ultimately prevailed. I was tempted to be insubordinate to Group Commander Erybet simply because High Commander Zyrf made me ashamed my commanding officer is a Dramok."

Akrij regarded him for a beat. He showed no sign of what he thought of Sletran's statement. "Thank you, Squad Leader. I believe we've heard enough."

"Yes sir. Sirs." Sletran bowed and turned smartly on his heel. He swore he could feel Zyrf's fury pushing him out the door.

Choke on it, asshole. It's the least you deserve for coming after Erybet, you breedist shit.

As he stepped into the sunlit grounds, Sletran was aware he hadn't defended his Dramok commander just because it was right. Part of it had been the protective urge of a Nobek who cared for another man.

A man who doesn't share my sentiments. Never mind. It doesn't make me less of a Nobek to be fond of someone who doesn't want me in return.

Smiling and satisfied despite the nagging sensation of loss, Sletran broke into a trot to get to where work called.

* * * *

Three months later

"We have to properly celebrate you being hired permanently at the hospital's psychiatric ward. This is a huge deal."

"Didn't we just do that?" Conyod grinned at Sletran as they wandered to the mess hall. He was paying his regular visit on his day off, the sky was full of sunshine, and they'd finished making extremely satisfying love less than an hour before. Life was amazing.

The Nobek chuckled. "I mean a real celebration. A party. It would have to be at your place or a rented hall. I can't imagine us inviting your friends and associates to my tiny quarters. And your family, of course."

Conyod was aware Sletran was watching him as he included his parents in the equation, but nothing could dim his happiness. Sure, he'd held the title of doctor for over a year and had worked at the hospital longer, but it hadn't felt real until he'd completed his internship and been given permanent status in its psychiatric unit.

"Now isn't the time for them to break away from the ranch, especially since my choice of practice is a blatant refusal to live and work with them."

"I'm sure they're proud of your accomplishments."

"I suppose, but between my career and the latest happenings at home, a celebration isn't high on their list."

"Latest happenings at home?" Sletran slowed despite his stomach loudly announcing how desperately it wanted lunch. His brow wrinkled in concern. "Catch me up."

"It isn't anything new. There continues to be evidence someone is entering the stables. Small footprints and weird sightings continue."

"The ghost boy?"

Conyod nodded, swallowing as he reflected on his mother's report. "He's seen mostly at a distance and disappears when anyone investigates. Funny enough, my father Vel insists everyone leave the stables alone and stay away from the…phantom. My mother thinks he saw the ghost and recognized him, but he refuses to discuss it."

"I thought Vel didn't believe in such things."

"He insists there's no ghost, but she says he's as on edge as the rest. A couple of the ranch hands have threatened to quit. Too many mysteries."

"Wow. A real-life haunting. Your family, Vel in particular, seems too down to earth to put credence in such ideas." Sletran's fascinated expression suddenly froze as he looked ahead of them.

Conyod searched to see what had claimed his attention, though his heart knew. Sure enough, Erybet was in view, hurrying from one building to the next. As if he felt their attention, he glanced their way. His progress slowed, and for a moment, Conyod thought he'd come and talk to them.

Instead, the beautiful Dramok resumed his course, averting his gaze. Conyod watched him enter the building he'd been heading for and disappear from sight.

He swallowed heaviness in his throat. "How is he?"

"I don't see a lot of him, except on inspection days. I have to think he's doing better since Zyrf was transferred to another site and a different high commander took over his battalions. We're Akrij's group now."

"No breedism from that quarter?" Conyod couldn't help but eye the structure Erybet had gone in, wishing the Dramok would emerge so they could at least say hello.

"Akrij takes personal care of his troops, much like Erybet. From what little I've heard, they get along extremely well." Sletran eyed Conyod, a sense of melancholy settling on his features at what he saw. "You haven't gotten over him."

"I'm trying. I'd half-hoped he'd contact us to at least talk when you told me he and Tox stopped seeing each other."

"Yeah, well, maybe he isn't ready to settle down. I think you were the first guy to hit his radar as an actual potential clanmate. He's no doubt playing the field, like the vast majority of soldiers."

Conyod noted Sletran's frown. "What? Who's he sleeping with these days?"

"No one. I've heard jokes about him taking celibacy vows and becoming a priest. One fellow squad leader asked if you and I had ruined him for everyone else."

"What did you say?"

"I might have said something along the lines of ruining the shithead's ability to walk for the rest of his life. He was being a real asshole…I have the idea he tried to seduce Erybet and was firmly turned down."

Conyod laughed, his better spirits lifting at Sletran's menacing smirk. He had the feeling his lover had taken as much pleasure in defending Erybet as he had in telling the irritating shithead off.

He didn't voice his suspicions Sletran wasn't quite over the Dramok commander either. Instead, he teased, "Such a Nobek response."

"I despise that guy. One of these days he'll give me a real reason to hurt him. I can't say I'm not looking forward to it."

* * * *

Erybet read the supply and requisitions staff the riot act for delaying a delivery he'd expected the day prior. In short order, he received ardent apologies and assurances it wouldn't happen again. Satisfied he'd made his point, he left the building and stood in front of its door.

He caught sight of Conyod's and Sletran's backs as they entered the mess hall. A sense of loss reverberated through him as they went in the structure, leaving his view.

He hadn't seen Conyod in weeks. Erybet had made it a point to avoid roaming the grounds where the Imdiko might be when the time came for his regular visits to Sletran. Regret had made it painful to see his young and shining face…the regret Erybet experienced now.

Sletran was a problem for him as well, and he'd gone to great lengths to avoid the Nobek when possible. Akrij had told Erybet of the squad leader's impassioned defense of him before the panel. Sletran's allegations had resulted in an investigation into Zyrf's activities as they related to Erybet. Akrij had discovered Group Commander Tox had agreed to watch Erybet closely for negligence on Zyrf's behalf. Erybet's lover had been offered a promotion if he could offer proof of said negligence. As a result, Erybet had put an end to their affair. Zyrf and Tox had been sent to less favorable bases and warned further mischief would result in demotions.

For his part, Erybet acknowledged he'd fucked up. He'd lost his chance at not only a relationship with Conyod, but also a Nobek of impeccable honor. A Nobek he should have jumped through hoops to impress.

How could he have been so blind, Erybet wondered as he trudged toward his office, unable to face the pair in the dining hall. He'd lost his appetite anyway. In the aftermath of fending off Zyrf's attempt to get him in trouble and Tox's duplicity, his dismissal of Sletran's dependability because it had felt boring…Erybet barked a bitter laugh…was the height of stupidity. Right now, he'd give his arm for a lover he could rely on, the same lover he'd cast aside for more excitement than he"d wanted.

Talk to him. Talk to them both. Maybe it isn't too late.

He'd heard those words in his head in the months after Conyod had walked off on him. Since Sletran had risked his commission to defend Erybet. Since discovering Tox had turned on him. Having caught a glimpse of Conyod and Sletran together, the pair he'd squandered a chance for from misplaced Dramok stubbornness to have what he thought he'd desired, they echoed loudly in his head once again.

Pride had kept him from heeding what his heart cried for thus far. Pride was crumbling however, having seen them in the flesh. Humiliation crippled him instead. Sletran, stinging from his rejection, might be eager to reject him in turn. A rejection Erybet deserved.

* * * *

Sletran walked in his quarters at the end of the shift. He was excited and had spent the day in anticipation. Conyod was a full-fledged therapist at the hospital now. He'd also turned twenty-five a few weeks before and no longer required parental permission to clan, had he and Sletran had a potential Dramok in their future. He could now make all decisions as an adult on his own behalf.

Sletran had checked into housing options available to them, and affordable larger quarters were obtainable at a location off the base, halfway between there and the hospital. He felt the time was right to bring up them moving in together. He planned to do so at dinner at a nice, if inexpensive, restaurant that night.

Conyod seemed pleased at the opportunity to eat somewhere beside the mess hall, though he never complained about the food at the base. They jumped in Sletran's personal shuttle and headed out.

They were soon seated in the unassuming but pleasant restaurant and ordering. Their food came after a reasonable wait, and they found it good.

Halfway through his plate, it struck Sletran they hadn't gone out for an actual dinner date since their last in Erybet's company. The Dramok had been on Sletran's mind most of the day. He'd noted how his commanding officer had frozen upon seeing him and Conyod. Even at a distance, the Nobek had detected an attitude of longing in the lovely face staring at them from dozens of yards distant.

Sletran had been tempted to go to Erybet's office during the afternoon to ask him if he'd like to join them in the future for drinks. He was still stinging from the Dramok's lack of returned interest, but Sletran refused to regret having cared for him. Hell, he continued to care, as much as he wished he didn't.

He noticed Conyod was quieter than usual. He'd been the same at breakfast too, and Sletran guessed it was because of seeing Erybet. If the Dramok had been yearning, Conyod displayed blatant pining for what could have been. A sense of loss clung to him, and Sletran worried it hadn't lessened in the months since he'd told Erybet it was over.

We could have been three.Would his suggestion for shared living space be a sorrowful reminder for Conyod instead of the celebration Sletran hoped it would be?

The Nobek cleared his throat. "Hey, big-shot doctor. Let me ask you something."

Conyod smiled at him. "If it's about dessert, the answer is yes."

Sletran chuckled. "More along the lines of a home of our own. I was thinking of an apartment located where we can split the travel time halfway between our jobs. What do you think?"

The grin that chased the gloom from his beloved Imdiko claimed he'd done the right thing. "You mean it? You want us to live together?"

"I may have already found a decent place. Not fancy, but more room than we can afford individually. It's in a safe area, and there are plenty of recreational options nearby. We can take a look at it in a couple of days, if you'd like."

"Yes! Of course I want to. This is fantastic!" Conyod reached across the small table and grabbed Sletran's hand. His face glowed in the room's intimate lighting.

"I'm glad you're ready for this step. Thank you, my Imdiko." Sletran kissed the hand he held, his heart full.

You know what? I am going to talk to Erybet. The worst he can do is tell me to get lost.