10. Veronica

Chapter 10

Veronica

I didn’t go out often, so I was equally nervous and excited to get out among actual human beings. It gave me the opportunity to wear cute shoes, which I usually didn’t bother with. Granted, I wasn’t going for much of a fashion statement, but I had a particular style. The core of my outfit would be my Zanotti over-the-knee black leather boots. I’d been dying to wear them and hadn’t had a chance to yet. I laid everything out and then shimmed into my clothes. Black jean shorts and a vintage black t-shirt cropped short so it showed off my belly. Then I added fishnet thigh-high stockings, my boots, and a jangle of bracelets up and down my arms. Satisfied, I headed upstairs, trying to ignore the fact that I already missed Luca and Enzo .

“You look adorbs,” Natasha said, eyeing me with appreciation. “Those boots are fire. I wish we wore the same size.” We had always lamented the fact that our sizes weren’t the same. It would have been nice to borrow from each other’s closets, even if we didn’t have the same style. Natasha had beautiful clothes that were always well-chosen and tailored to perfection. Even now, she was dressed to slay in a black pencil skirt with a cream blouse that screamed high fashion. Everything about the outfit was subtle and classy.

“Thanks, Nat.” I knew she’d like them and had ordered another pair in her size, but they were delayed. “I thought you might, so I ordered you a pair.” I winked at her.

“Oh my God. You did? You’re the best!” She gave me a swift hug.

“They’re backordered in your size, just fair warning. It’s a little popular apparently, but they are ordered.” I’d been a little disappointed when I’d tried to get them since I knew she’d look amazing strutting around in them, but they were supposed to restock soon.

“That’s because you have tiny feet.” She pshawed, then chewed on her lip, watching me while I went to get some yogurt and berries from the fridge. I knew what she was going to ask before she opened her mouth. “You sure you’re going to be alright driving on your own? Pike says he can send someone over to take you. I’d do it, but I can’t miss today’s meeting.”

“I’m sure. I have the Range Rover to drive, and I’ll use the GPS. I swear I’ll call if I get nervous or lost,” I promised. “Max already texted me twice this morning about today, asking if I had changed my mind.” Maxim’s text had woken me up this morning. I’d stayed up into the early morning hours, still trying to track down any leads on Spato. I might have had a spicy session with my vibe after Eli had left, too, but who could blame a girl?

“Yeah, he called me,” Natasha admitted. “I think he’s regretting not having someone in place before he pulled Luca and Enzo.” At the look on my face, she rushed to explain. “I told him that we didn’t need men and we would prefer it that way, but Ronnie — that’s not his style. You know that.”

“This is a small town, Nat,” I groaned. “It’s a waste of manpower for us to have a detail. Most of the time, I don’t even go anywhere.” That wasn’t even a lie. Ninety-nine percent of the time, I was in my little downstairs cave, and Luca, or whoever was bored out of their ever-loving mind. It wasn’t an issue when I lived in San Diego because the house had guards already. The Volkov mansion was a fortress.

She shrugged. “I don’t think Max sees it that way. You’d be back home if it were up to him and Mom.”

“Well, it isn’t up to them.” I slammed my yogurt carton on the counter, suddenly furious. That was part of the problem — them seeing me as a perpetual child.

“I agree with you, of course. It isn’t up to them. We are fine on our own. Text me after your appointment, okay?” she reminded gently.

“Sure.” I deflated. Cleaning out the rest of my yogurt, I rinsed the spoon and stuck it in the dishwasher. I kissed her lightly as I passed, reminding myself not to shoot the messenger. It wasn’t her fault that our cousin was overprotective. That was just how he was built, but I’d be shocked if there weren’t more guards here when I got home. The thought depressed me, but I was determined to make the most of my day. “Bye, Natty.”

“Ronnie.” She waited until I looked her in the eye. “All good news today, babe. ”

“Yep, all good news,” I parroted back. It was something we’d said together when things were rough. It had been a way to help start the day on a positive note.

First on my agenda was my appointment this morning. Settling into the seat of the Range Rover, I hit the start button and feigned confidence as I backed the car out of the garage even though my anxiety had spiked to new levels, making sure I didn’t hit the gate as it swung forward. The last time I’d driven alone was in San Diego when I went to the corner store to buy tampons, which was just on a dare. Other than that one time, I’d never driven anywhere by myself. I’d always had a co-pilot telling me where to go or what I was doing wrong — someone to take over if I got tired or felt bad. The idea of just having myself to rely on was heady.

The GPS gave its directions, and I followed along until the outskirts of Phoenix appeared. The city sprawled across the desert for miles, with almost no beginning or end. I was a decent driver but a little nervous. Although I was sure that Maxim’s Range Rover was a veritable tank, having other drivers zooming next to me freaked me out.

The engine of the Range Rover hummed softly as I navigated the busy roads, the sun glaring down through the windshield. The other drivers had no idea how my fingers gripped the steering wheel tighter than necessary, my knuckles white against the black of the wheel, but I couldn’t bring myself to loosen them. The bracelet Eli gave me winked from my wrist, and I found that it calmed me down. Usually, Luca or Natasha would insist on taking me, ensuring I was wrapped in the safety of tinted windows and layers of protection. But today, there were no guards. No safety net. Nobody to joke with me.

It was weird, but it was the freedom I needed to investigate, to move without anyone watching over my shoulder—well, anyone except the person I suspected was stalking me.

I glanced in the rearview mirror for the fifth time in as many minutes, trying not to let the car veer out of its lane when I did. The same black motorcycle had been following me since I left the house. It could be a coincidence, but I doubted it since I’d seen it make the same turns. Eli had been leaving me those little gifts, the unsettling presents that showed up at my back door. He wanted me to notice. He wanted me to know he was close. But I didn’t know why, which made me equally mad, thrilled, and slightly turned on.

I swallowed hard, my throat tight, the ever-present tickle of a cough gnawing at me. I forced it down, not wanting to give in, not yet. I was going to my checkup anyway — Dr. Bennett, my pulmonologist, was waiting. She’d lecture me about keeping up with my treatments and remind me how fragile my lungs were after all the medications and chemo from when I was a kid. The coughing, the shortness of breath, the asthma flare-ups — they were all constant reminders of a time I could never escape.

The Mayo Clinic came into view, and I exhaled, finally allowing my fingers to relax. Success. Of course, the GPS had helped. Thank goodness for technology. I pulled into the parking lot, but not before rechecking the mirror. The motorcycle was gone. Maybe they were going in the same direction I was. Oh well, writing the incident off, I put my attention back where it belonged.

Circling the lot, I looked for an empty spot without any other cars. The last thing I wanted was to ding someone’s car pulling in. Parking wasn’t something I had a lot of practice with. Slowly, I managed to park pretty straight. Good enough, I thought, getting out and looking at the Rover. Decent. I snapped a pic and sent it to the girl chat. Immediately, it flooded with comments.

Arabella: Did you pay someone?

Calia: Uber?

Reed: Did you do that? Wtg!

Me:

I sent another text to Natasha, letting her know I made it, and then, sliding my phone to silent, I headed into my appointment. Unable to help myself, I looked over my shoulder one more time.

T he clinic in Phoenix wasn’t one I’d been to before, but they all seemed to have that similar smell of disinfectant. Maxim had arranged for a doctor to see me here, and she had already received my records. I chatted with her a few times via video call to ensure she was familiar with my medical history in case I needed to come in for an appointment while I was in Arizona.

“Just humor me,” Maxim had said.

It turned out that Maxim had been right to want me to be prepared while I was here since it didn’t look like I was heading back in the next few months. Making sure that I had doctors lined up was just smart. Keeping up with a doctor was a mandatory part of my agreement with Maxim and my mother. Even though I wasn’t a fan of them butting their noses into my life, I did appreciate their love and support. I knew I was super lucky to have them in my life. Some people didn’t have anyone to help them like I did, but sometimes, it was hard to remember that. The weight of their concern could be suffocating.

The waiting room was like all standard waiting rooms everywhere, with dull landscape paintings designed to be soothing, uncomfortable beige furniture, and a puke-neutral carpet. On the end tables, magazines sat forlornly with address labels carefully cut out. It had always made me wonder where they came from. Who on earth carted them up to a doctor’s office? For that matter, who still got magazines?

Checking myself in, I tucked into a corner of the waiting room onto one of the chairs and double-checked the address for Victor’s lease. I was making that my next stop. It was a little further away, but there was no way I wouldn’t check it out while I had the opportunity. Who knew if Maxim might send someone else, and my chance of independence could be gone as quickly as it came. No, if I were going to check it out, I would have to go today. If there were any hints I could get, I would ferret them out. Right now, things were at a stalemate, and I wanted answers .

“Veronica Pavlova?” Startling, I nearly fumbled my phone when my name was called.

“Yeah, that’s me,” I mumbled, moving towards the nurse. Time to get this show on the road.

Dr. Bennett was thorough, her brow furrowed as she listened to my breathing with her stethoscope.

“Your lungs don’t sound great, Veronica,” she said, pulling back. “Are you using your inhaler and nebulizer?”

I nodded, though it wasn’t entirely true. I hated the reminders of my weaknesses. “It’s been... manageable.”

“Manageable?” She raised an eyebrow. “Describe your cough to me.” She sat back a little, watching me. “Is it productive? Any mucus?”

“Maybe a little. I haven’t seen anything that leads me to think I’m heading toward pneumonia.” I knew that was what she was thinking about. I had pneumonia multiple times and knew what I was looking for, but like her, I was worried about it. Pneumonia led to the ICU and more damage to my lungs. The drugs from the chemotherapy had done more than help get rid of the leukemia, but beggars couldn’t be choosers and all that .

She frowned and sighed, scribbling something on her clipboard. “You need to be more vigilant, especially with your history. The damage to your lungs isn’t going to go away.” She gave me another glare. I wasn’t a toddler, but I cringed a little on the table, making the paper squeak. “Don’t neglect your symptoms.” She tapped her pencil and gave me another critical look that made me squirm. “What about your eating habits?”

“I eat.” That was technically true. Eli’s words from yesterday echoed, “Little Liar.”

“Have you seen a nutritionist?” Pinning the pencil behind an ear, she leaned back in her chair, making me sure she already had the answer to this question.

“I have, actually,” I answered confidently. He is very helpful. I have a complete dietary plan to follow.” This was also technically true. Maxim had set me up with a nutritionist I saw every six months. The guy was an absolute food fanatic, not in a good way. He gave me complicated smoothie recipes that included things like powdered kale.

“That’s good.” For a second, I thought she’d give me an out and leave it alone, but then my hopes were dashed. “But Veronica, your life depends on you doing everything you can to help your body out.”

“I know,” I said, though my mind was already drifting away and checking out. She wasn’t telling me anything new. This was just old news. Bad news. News I didn’t want to hear. So what? I was dying—big deal. I kept my eyes down, trying to focus on the mystery I was working on. That at least I had a chance of solving.

“Veronica,” Dr. Bennett’s voice softened. “You’ve been doing so well, but I don’t want you to push yourself too hard. If you’re experiencing more difficulty with breathing, you need to tell me. And someone should be with you if possible with your health the way it is.”

I nodded, offering her a tight smile. “I’ll keep that in mind.” Like fuck I would. There wasn’t any reason that I couldn’t be on my own.

“Did you drive today?”

“No,” I lied. “I have a driver downstairs.” Her face immediately relaxed as she went over my labs.

“When is your next oncology appointment?”

“Next month.” I picked a loose strand of my stockings, ignoring the squirming in my belly at the thought of going to the oncologist. I always dreaded the appointments and the possibility of bad news. I might be in remission right now, but reoccurrence could happen anytime. Everyone thought I wasn’t scared of it coming back, that I had made my peace, and that I was brave. They were completely wrong. I was petrified. Just the thought of cancer returning freaked me the fuck out.

“Okay, well, let’s keep touching base through the portal. I want to know if your cough changes or if you have any prolonged episodes.” She frowned as she looked at the images and the reports and closed the files. “I mean it, Veronica.” I managed to nod and smile at her so I could be excused.

The appointment wrapped up quickly after that, and before long, I was back in the parking lot. Taking long breaths that weren’t filled with that icky disinfectant smell.

I sent the required texts to Maxim, my sister, and the girl squad, then silenced my phone immediately.

Me: All clear

I entered the address into the GPS and eased the Range Rover out of the parking spot after turning up the radio.

Victor’s leased property was on the other side of Phoenix, so I had about a twenty-minute drive. It was an office building with a warehouse on the backside. I knew that much from Google Earth. Nothing glamorous, just another hidden corner of the city where someone like him could keep a low profile. But I wasn’t looking for glamour. I was looking for any connection or any trace of Eli.