Chapter 59

Julian

I find my dad standing in the drinking room—yeah, he's old school and has one of those. He's either sitting in his old, cracked leather chair that overlooks the ranch or near the fireplace. This evening, he's standing at the fireplace, looking at an old family portrait we had taken when Mom was still alive. Dad never removed it, nor had it reframed. There's a crack in the glass from when Theo and I were trying to teach Kent how to throw a football years ago. Mom was pissed because she had just put the frame on the mantel. She paid for some wood carver to custom-make that frame. It's got all our initials carved into the wood, and the burnt wood effects give it this cool, rustic vintage vibe.

I watch Dad daydreaming at the photo and wonder what he's thinking.

"Hi, Son," he says without turning. His lips tug up as he smiles at the picture before he turns to face me.

Was he smiling at Mom?

"Hey, Dad." I close the distance, and he hugs me. It ' s a longer hug than when I was a child, almost as if Dad thinks I'm more precious to him now.

"It ' s good to see you," he pats my back as he looks up at me.

One day, I ' ll be looking up at my boy, no longer the hero in his eyes but the aging parent he has to care for.

My eyes are drawn back to that frame around the edges where the vine of flowers creates a floral motif.

What the hell?

My eyes narrow at the flowers. I reach out and grab the frame.

"What is it?" Dad asks.

I cough, unable to believe my eyes. "They, um, the flowers," I point to one where the center is blackened from the burnt design. "They look an awful lot like poppy flowers to me."

Dad leans closer and studies it. "I suppose they do."

I gently place the frame back on the mantel, then look back at Mom, smiling back at me.

Did you know, Mom? Did you know a woman named Poppy was going to come into my life and save me and that I'd save her?

I'm creeped out but also...content.

"I ' m so happy everyone could come. Elsie hasn ' t stopped cooking. Henry is here. He ' s with Theo out back," Dad says, snapping me out of the connection I just made.

"Yeah, Poppy was making her way to him after she got a drink."

"Henry seems like a good man."

I snort. "Your definition of 'good' is skewed, Dad. But yeah, Henry means well."

Henry does. He ' s not the hero, but he's not a villain either. Just like Theo, Henry is stuck in the gray murky waters. He ' s stepped back from his role as CEO at his parents' company and now works full-time with Theo for The Obsidian Order.

I'm trying my best not to join the club, but I do support some of their causes. For now, I'll be a judge and cheerleader for them on the sidelines.

As for my role as CEO, well, that title has been handed to Kent, who hasn ' t crashed and burned the family legacy so far. Poppy and I now head a charity that helps victims of abuse and soldiers who need therapy for a wide range of issues.

Dad nods. "Theo means well, too. All of us lose some of our morals along the way, son, but as long as we try to do good and maintain most of them, well, that ' s better than the latter, right?" He grins and glances back at that old family picture.

"Does it bother Elsie?" I blurt out.

"What?" Dad ' s greying brow inches up.

I nudge my head at the mantel. "You always looking at that picture."

"No," he replies quickly. "She ' s never tried to replace your mother, and your mother will always be my first love. I wish she could have been my last." Dad whispers the latter. "But I ' m happy God sent me Elsie. She took a hardened soul and made me see all the mistakes I made. I'm sorry, son."

I shake my head. "You have to stop apologizing. We all handled Mom ' s passing wrongly. We ' re together now; that ' s all that matters." I clear my throat. "We, um, well, I wanted to tell you we picked a name for our girl. Poppy and I want to name her Emma."

Dad ' s face loses some of its color before a smile traces his lips. "She ' d like that," he mutters.

"Do you?"

He nods. "Yes, I do." He blinks rapidly. I've only ever seen Dad cry once, and that was when Mom passed away. The hospice nurse tried to nudge Theo, Kent, and me out of the room because Dad's tormented tears were something children shouldn ' t witness. We didn ' t leave. We bore his pain as well as our own.

"One day, you're going to look at your kids, Julian, and this internal, massive fear will consume you. You'll want to protect them from everything, and most of the time, you'll be successful. But from one father to another, do you know the biggest thing you need to protect them from?"

I shake my head.

He reaches out and touches my chest, "Themselves. If you raise them right, they can conquer the beast within. If you raise them wrong, the monster will consume them. I worried about Theo the most, but he's beaten his demons. You have to, and Kent," Dad laughs, "His biggest struggle is running out of hand sanitizer and not making comments that will get him slapped with a lawsuit."

I snort and grin.

"That Harper," Dad shakes his head, "I think she's good for him. Or maybe I just tell myself that because I fear together, they could end the world."

I laugh. "I think they both balance out each other's madness."

"Boys!" Elsie shouts from down the hall. "Time to eat."

"Coming!" Dad shouts back with a wide grin.

We begin to leave, but I glance back at our family picture. This will be the first Christmas dinner we will all be together since Mom passed. Somehow, though, it feels like Mom is here in spirit.

My family might have gaps and holes. Some seats are missing, but soon, our growing members will fill them. We have scars, but we ' re together, and in the end, that ' s all that counts.

"Thank you," I say to Dad. "I know you think you failed as a father figure, but you didn't. I'm the man I am today because of the lessons you taught me."