Chapter 34

Julian

When a woman tells you she needs space, is she really asking for the opposite?

God, I hope so. If not, I'm going to fuck this up more.

With these thoughts swirling in my mind, I grab my bag and sling it over my shoulder precisely as the sound of my front door opening and then closing reaches my ears. Great, it's just my luck to bump into Theo now and have to have this conversation in person.

I enter the living room; there's Theo on the phone, sporting that grin I haven't seen in ages. It's not the warm, genuine smile I remember. It ' s sinister. Devious. Like Theo is now.

Sometimes, I find myself looking at him for long periods. Studying this mask that is shrouding the body of the brother I used to have. He looks like my older brother, and that ' s about it. He doesn ' t act like the boy I grew up with, doesn ' t talk like him, and even his eyes gaze at things differently.

The rational part of my mind tells me to guard myself against him. Theo screams danger. But the emotional part of my mind tells me to keep being honest in hopes one day he will be honest with me and tell me what the fuck happened to him in college. How did he get involved with this secretive group that even made my uncle back off when they ordered him to?

Theo notices the bag slung over my shoulder; he wraps up his call. "I'll call you later," he dismisses the person on the other end. Then, he turns his full attention to me, positioning himself strategically between me and the door. "Where are you going?" he inquires, stepping closer.

Gulping down the unease, I straighten up, bolstering my resolve. "I'm going to get my woman," I declare. Fuck waiting it out to see how things turn out. Fuck it!

I know one thing. I love Poppy, and I need to tell her that in person.

His reaction is almost imperceptible, but I catch the brief flicker of approval before he masks it with his usual stern demeanor. "I've got Leon watching them," he states matter-of-factly.

"Leon isn't me," I counter firmly. The need to see Poppy, to confess everything, is gnawing at me, consuming every other thought. I love her, and every moment we're apart, fed by misunderstandings and half-truths, feels like a step closer to losing her forever.

Theo runs a hand through his hair, resting it on the back of his neck. He finally nods, his gaze drifting off as if he's looking at a distant storm only he can see.

Please tell me something, brother. Tell me what happened to you. Tell me who you loved and lost.

Nothing. Still too strong.

That's ok. I'll break you if only to fix you.

Watching my brother live a life without love is like watching an angel fall from the heavens with broken wings. Tragic.

"Tomorrow at four a.m., a SWAT team along with federal investigators will raid and arrest Oliver Sinclair and his son. It's going to be a media circus. The evidence we have is enough to put them away for life, several times over."

Relief washes over me at his words. "It's over," I whisper, more to myself than to him.

"No," Theo corrects sharply, his focus snapping back to the present. "It's far from over. If you want to step in and make it clean, we can make it happen. You said you wanted this public, Julian. This will be drawn out and messy. Poppy's identity will remain classified. We don't even need her to testify unless she wants to. We have enough crimes without what was done to her to finish them. However, people will be divided; some will even side with Andrew and his father. It's not too late to change it. If you want to handle this personally, we can end it quickly. You wanted this to be public, so it ' s going to be drawn out. We'll expedite the legal process as much as we can, but be prepared."

" It ' s not about what I wanted, Theo. It ' s what Poppy needs," I say as I slide the bag off my shoulder and lower it to my side. It feels like an anchor I'm about to drop. Theo's right, there is a battle, and I'm a soldier. I'm here to fight by Poppy's side. Through thick and thin, " Yes, part of me wants to kidnap Andrew and his dad, take them to a black site, and have us take turns tearing them apart." I grip the handle of the bag, the fabric rubbing and burning into my palm, " But then, the line that divides me and Andrew becomes blurred. In Poppy ' s eyes, I ' d be just the same as Andrew. A killer without morals or laws. Making this public isn't my desire, but it ' s the one thing that might preserve my soul and keep Poppy's love for me whole."

I hope.

Theo's nod is hesitant, like a man slowly sinking to his knees. " He agreed," Theo says, referring to the man who entangled me in this web of lies and deception towards Poppy. The man is still trying to remain in the shadows. Well, consider me a flashlight because I'm going to tell Poppy who he is.

I shake my head, " I don ' t need his agreement. He needs to come out of the shadows and confess to Poppy what he ' s done as well. He should take a page from my book," I growl.

As I walk, coming shoulder to shoulder with Theo, his arm swings out across my chest, his fingers brushing the spot where the bullet hit me. It feels like a lifetime ago. Theo steps directly in front of me and then embraces me. My body wants to stiffen in response, but I force myself to relax into his hold.

I raise my other arm and return the embrace. Silence envelops us, thick with unspoken words. Is he waiting for me to break the quiet, or is the burden on me to find the right words?

Reluctance fills our touch as our fingers tighten around the fabric of each other's shirts, trying to hold onto one another. Hugging as broken adults is so much more vulnerable than hugging as scared children.

After a moment that stretches out, laden with the things we leave unsaid, I gently pull away and turn towards the door.

Theo clears his throat. " I loved someone like you do," he admits.

Ah, yes, this elusive love he let slip away.

I glance over my shoulder. " No, you didn ' t," I challenge.

His sharp eyes narrow.

" If you loved someone even half as much as I love Poppy, you ' d never be able to live without them."

There, it just happened. His armor cracked.

I open the door and step a foot outside. I'm not trying to be cruel. I'm attempting to aid Theo just as he's assisted me. He's a shell, a facade hiding a shattered heart. Theo supported me in protecting the woman I love, and in return, I ' ll push him to face the person he once loved.