20. Lorna

Chapter 20

Lorna

T he smell of coffee pulled me from an amazing dream where all my guys snuggled up around me in this enormous bed made especially for us. Strangely enough, we weren't having sex. We just snuggled, but the sense of comfort and belonging still lingering from my dream made me never want to get up.

I yawned, and the coffee smell intensified, coating my tongue with its delicious aroma.

That is not coffee, Mir said.

My eyes popped open and sure enough, it was not coffee. Nathan's neck was only a few inches from my mouth, where my head laid on his shoulder. I also had one arm draped across his chest. Thankfully, he was still dressed.

How in the world did we end up in the same bed?

The mattress shifted behind me, and an arm slipped around my waist. The scent of Kenrid's sweet summer rain made me smile. So did his hot body pressing against mine.

"Mmmm," I murmured .

"Shhh. Don't wake the vampire."

Kenrid's hand slid down my stomach and unbuttoned my jeans. The zipper whispered as he made quick work of it, too. Heat pooled between my legs as his long fingers slid beneath my panties. As much as I wanted Kenrid, I couldn't do anything intimate with Nathan sleeping beside me. Nathan hadn't voiced any of his thoughts about what kind of relationship we would have.

"The vampire is already awake." Nathan's growly voice startled me.

I tried to pull my hand off his chest, but he grabbed my arm and held it in place. Kenrid also stopped the trail he was burning to my lady bits. My face was too close to Nathan's neck to look up and see his expression. The tension building around us made me afraid to move. No, I wasn't afraid, but I also couldn't name the feeling.

"I'm sorry, Nathan," I whispered. "I didn't mean to invade your space. I'm not even sure how we all ended up in the same bed."

"Damon and Elliott brought us here," Nathan said.

He pulled my hand to his mouth and kissed my fingers. My heart stuttered with the memory of everything that happened in the warehouse. I tried to pull my hand away from Nathan once again. He hadn't wanted to be addicted to me, right? He'd only agreed to swap blood so we could fight the fae, right?

"Stop overthinking, Lorna," Nathan whispered, rolling my hand over and kissing my palm. "If I didn't want to be lying next to you, I would've gotten out of bed an hour ago."

"Oh." I couldn't voice all my other concerns. My questions all sounded insensitive.

Nathan scooted back and rolled onto his side, but he didn't release my hand. Now I had an unimpeded view of the stormy expression on his face. I had no idea how to interpret the furrow on his brow or the way his lips pressed into a thin line. Was he mad ?

"Did you mean it when you said you would accept me?" he asked after several silent moments.

Yes! Mir squealed, immediately envisioning Nathan and Kenrid naked.

Of course I blushed.

Nathan grinned.

Kenrid chuckled behind me. "Do we get to hear her thoughts?"

"Yes, I was sincere when I included you as one of mine," I said, ignoring Kenrid's question. "Mir was right. Fate has put us together. We're definitely stronger when we're together."

I can't wait to see Nathan naked, Mir chimed in.

Oh my God, stop!

What? We're past all the danger, the drama, and whatever bullshit was thrown our way, she argued. It's time to celebrate.

I would've covered my face with my hands to hide my embarrassment at her words, but Nathan gripped my fingers in his. Almost like he knew what I wanted. His smile broadened, and I groaned.

"You have to tell us what she said," Kenrid insisted.

"No I don't," I argued.

Both men laughed. I tried to frown, but I couldn't. I'd rarely seen Nathan laugh. His smiles were almost never directed at me. I didn't want to do anything to stifle this moment.

"Okay, fine," Kenrid said. "Then I'll just continue what I started a moment ago." His fingers inched lower, teasing the soft flesh right above… I wiggled trying to get him to go lower. He chuckled and kissed my neck. "Any objections?"

I almost growled at him, then realized he must have been talking to Nathan. I obviously didn't object.

"By all means, pleasure her until she passes out."

My full attention snapped to Nathan. He was still smiling, but it was more like Kenrid's naughty grin. I liked it. I almost asked if he was sure, but Nathan never said anything he wasn't sure of. He always thought about everything. Probably overthought everything.

Sounds like someone else I know, Mir quipped.

"Feel free to help me torture our mate," Kenrid said, pushing his hand between my legs.

I groaned as his fingers glided through my folds and pressed into my core. My eyes closed at the sensations Kenrid so masterfully teased from my body. I loved the way he made me feel. Not just sexually, but emotionally and magically. Everything about him was perfect.

Nathan released my hand, and the bed shifted. A moment of anxiety struck me until I opened my eyes. He rolled off the bed and tossed the blankets on the floor, exposing my compromised position.

I will not blush, damn it!

Of course, I did anyway. Nathan smirked, then grabbed the bottoms of my pant legs. Kenrid helped him remove my jeans and panties. Nathan tugged me to the edge of the bed and draped my legs over his shoulders where he knelt. A gush of warmth flooded my lady parts just thinking about what Nathan would do with his mouth.

"She is so ready," Nathan said, trailing a finger along my inner thigh.

Kenrid scooted up beside me and pulled my shirt over my head, trapping my arms in the fabric above me. I tried to untangle myself, until he leaned over and ran his tongue over my nipple.

Let them pleasure us, Mir said. I don't mind being tied up if it means we get multiple orgasms.

I groaned and another wave of desire had me squirming again. Nathan gripped my thighs and started leaving a trail of kisses up my leg. I briefly wondered if he would bite me. What kind of orgasm would I have if we exchanged blood? The thought nearly had me falling apart .

"You need to share with the rest of us," Kenrid said, turning his attention to my other breast. "Nathan hasn't even touched your pussy yet, and your desire is saturating the room."

Another wave of need crashed over me. I never dreamed dirty talk would turn me on. And it wasn't even that dirty.

Get out of the way, Mir said. I'll tell them if you won't.

I almost told her no. Almost. I really wanted to see how they would react to her potty mouth. So I slid into the backseat, feeling her glide past me and take control.

"You need to make those bonds a little tighter, Kenrid," Mir purred. "I have a feeling that Nathan's tongue is going to rock my world."

Nathan and Kenrid both jerked their heads up. Kenrid smiled and did what he was told, twisting my t-shirt around my wrists. A deep red swirled in Nathan's irises. He held my gaze and lowered his mouth. His tongue flicked across my clit then delved into me. I nearly melted into a puddle of goo.

"I need more," Mir growled.

Kenrid's hands were instantly on my body, caressing the swell of my breast while he nipped and sucked his way across my skin. Between Nathan and Kenrid's attention, I was crying out with ecstasy within minutes. My insides fluttered with post orgasmic bliss. I really needed one of them inside me.

"One of you better fuck me," Mir said, voicing my internal thoughts. "Or both of you."

A vision of both men filling me popped in her head. She smiled, and my desire flared.

Kenrid groaned and pressed his rock-hard erection against my side. Why was he still dressed?

Nathan growled and slid out from beneath my legs. "I can't. Not without biting you. I certainly won't stop you from biting me." He rose to his feet and took a step back, adjusting the bulge in his pants. "We need to talk to Damon about what happened. I can't do that when I'm lost in all that power."

Mir whined and slid into the backseat, pushing me out of her spot. I didn't blame her for being disappointed. Kenrid reached up and untangled my t-shirt. I tried not to look pitiful. I wasn't the one left sexually frustrated. It looked like both of my guys were going to walk away with blue balls.

Nathan circled the bed on the opposite side of Kenrid and leaned over me, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

"Don't take this as rejection, Lorna," he whispered. "I fully intend to claim you, but I want to take my time. I don't want to be interrupted. When I claim you, there will be no extenuating circumstances dictating our decision."

He kissed my forehead, then stood up and left the room. I watched him go with so many mixed emotions. He'd kind of answered all my questions with that one statement though… ‘there will be no other extenuating circumstances…'

I sat up and rubbed my face with both hands. Kenrid's warm palm brushed against my back, almost tentatively. I looked up and met his gaze. Tears immediately pooled in my eyes. He looked at me with so much understanding it hurt. How could he be so compassionate?

I crawled into his lap and wrapped my arms around him. He held me close, letting me breathe in his soothing scent and calming magic.

"I love you," I whispered. "You always know what I need."

He chuckled. "No, I just get lucky guessing most of the time."

I laughed and leaned back so I could see his face. "If you say so."

"You know he didn't reject you, right?" Kenrid asked. "Nathan is very literal. When he claims you, there will be no doubting his intentions."

My smile faded. "I just keep second-guessing. Every time we decide to do something together, it's because we're forced to do it. Like the clan meeting. Or when I gave him my blood, so he didn't die before we got to the tower. Or at the warehouse." I frowned, not even knowing what time it was. "Was that today or yesterday?"

"I have no idea," Kenrid said. "I suspect we'll find out when we talk to Elliott and Damon."

"Yeah."

Kenrid smacked my bare butt and smiled. "Go get dressed. I'll find some food."

I leaned forward and kissed him. He cupped my face and kissed me back, then sat me on the bed and left me alone. Looking around for the first time, I realized we were in my room. My heart beat a little faster with the realization that Damon and Elliott brought us here. Not Nathan's room. Not Kenrid's room. Mine.

I wasn't sure how to feel about it. Just like I wasn't sure how to process four mates. Kenrid had always been okay about sharing me with Damon. I thought he had been, anyway. After our last time together, I wasn't so sure. The way he reacted to Elliott made me doubt it even more.

Nathan didn't seem to mind Kenrid being in the room with us. But again, maybe I was too busy enjoying the way they made me feel to see them. I really needed to pay better attention. Kenrid, Damon, and Elliott were stuck with me for better or worse. I didn't need to drag Nathan into this as well if it wasn't what he wanted.

Stop! Mir exclaimed. Did you not just hear Nathan? And Kenrid confirming it moments later? And didn't you say that Nathan overthought everything? Quit being stupid!

I heard them, I grumbled. Sometimes it's just hard to accept. I wouldn't want to share them with another woman, so it's difficult to imagine them being okay with this.

What am I? Chopped liver?

I paused before answering. You're part of me, I replied. They aren't enjoying someone else's body. The fact that I feel that way makes me a horrible hypocrite.

Whatever. They have a say in this, too. We should all sit down and talk about it.

I agreed. We needed to talk. Bad things happened over lack of communication.

Mir huffed and I gave her a mental hug. I smiled when she hugged me back.

As I walked into the open-concept living space of Damon's wing in the tower a few minutes later, I froze. Instead of having a leather sofa and two chairs in the living room, there was now a huge sectional sofa. Its soft camel coloring was completely different from the dark leather that used to be there. Several small pillows were scattered across the cushions in shades of olive green.

The guys were not in the living room, though. They sat at a large round table with six chairs that replaced Damon's old square table that only accommodated four people.

Had Damon replaced all his furniture while I was recovering from our fight in the warehouse?

Duh!

I rolled my eyes at Mir's snark. It was a rhetorical question.

Sure it was.

I strolled across the room, stopping at the empty chair between Kenrid and Damon. There was another empty seat between Nathan and Elliott. I stood there, looking back and forth between my choices. If I picked one over the other, would I hurt someone's feelings? Did they do it on purpose?

"There is no wrong answer, Lorna," Damon said.

I let my gaze wander around the table at my guys. Each of them had a neutral expression on their faces.

"No one is getting upset over where you decide to eat breakfast," Nathan said, a sharp edge in his voice. "I promise none of us even thought about where we planted our asses a few moments ago. We certainly didn't deliberately try to make you uncomfortable."

My face heated. He made it sound like my insecurity was my fault. Did he have to be such as asshole about it?

It is your fault, Mir said. You're reading too much into it. Did any of them say this was a test? Have they ever indicated that you would have to choose between them?

No, they hadn't. I pulled out the chair in front of me and dropped into it. Kenrid slid a bowl of fruit my direction, and Damon piled scrambled eggs and bacon on my plate.

"Juice, coffee, water, or bourbon?" Elliott asked, rising from his seat.

"It's a little early for alcohol." I smiled and shook my head. "You don't have to serve me breakfast. I can get my own."

"I choose to serve my little goddess," Elliott insisted with a wink, making me blush. He'd so recently worshipped his little goddess . "Now, tell me what you want."

"Orange juice, please."

Now he's okay with us telling him what to do, Mir said.

Stop! I can't think about this right now. We have other stuff to talk about.

She pouted, but I could feel her agreement.

Elliott brought my glass of juice and sat back down. An uncomfortable silence settled around the table when the guys started eating. Well, everyone but Nathan. He sipped at a large mug of what I suspected was blood. I frowned at my insensitivity. Nathan was having breakfast, just like the rest of us. I could hardly judge him for needing blood to sustain him.

Why did this have to be so difficult? I knew we had a ton of stuff to discuss, but there was something I wanted to get out in the open first.

"Can we talk about us first?" I asked.

The guys traded looks that I couldn't read, then they all nodded. I forced myself not to read into their silence. It wasn't like I'd asked them to spill their guts or explain themselves.

I sighed. "I've never been in a relationship with more than one man," I said, then huffed. I'd only been in one real relationship before these guys. "I don't know how to do this. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I feel like I'm also treating you like glass that could shatter with the slightest touch. That's exhausting. I need to know what you expect. What you want. Don't want." I shrugged and folded my hands in my lap. "Please tell me everything. I can't sort out my feelings if I don't know yours."

The familiarity of categorizing and sorting my environment felt good. I needed this.

Kenrid leaned back in his chair. "I have very few sexual inhibitions, but I find myself wanting alone time with you. More so than any partner I've ever had. It's probably because you're my soulmate." He glanced at the other guys for a moment before giving me his full attention. "While you are the other half of my soul, I realize that's also true for the others. I'll do my best to not demand all your attention."

"You're not at all demanding, Kenrid," I said.

His smile was sincere but also a little naughty.

"It's gonna take me a while to get comfortable with someone else touching you," Elliott said. "My wolf didn't act like he wanted to tear Kenrid's throat out yesterday, but he wasn't happy. It was hard to stop him from rubbing his scent all over your naked body." A mischievous grin spread across his face. "I'd be perfectly okay with showing everyone else how to take care of you, though."

A picture of Elliott owning my body with the guys watching popped into my head, making a wave of heat travel down my whole body.

That would be so hot! Mir said, extending her fantasy to include all the guys completely naked and gripping their cocks while they watched.

My face burned. Kenrid laughed. Elliott's grin turned into a triumphant smile. Nathan growled, and Damon's magic flared around us.

"I didn't just project that image, did I?" I'd be mortified if I had.

"You didn't need to, little d'laej. Elliott made it pretty clear what he intended."

My gaze snapped to Damon and Nathan, who sat right beside him. Damon leaned back and adjusted the bulge in his pants. My mouth watered. I knew all about Damon's beautiful dick. And it looked like he wouldn't object to Elliott's suggestion.

"I thought you already knew how I felt," Damon said, leaving one hand resting between his legs. "But you're right, it's important that all of us understand the expectations. I know I'll get time with you nearly every day because of Mir's needs." His smile was tender, and my heart flipped as he said her name. "I will be as accommodating as possible for the others. I'm looking forward to a lifetime with you."

How long would that lifetime be? I hadn't considered how long I would live. I'd always assumed I was human. What did this mix of DNA mean for me?

Nathan cleared his throat, pulling me back to our conversation. A deep frown pulled at his lips, matching the furrow on his brow. I tried to read his expression, but just like every other time, I couldn't.

"I want you more than I care to admit," Nathan said. "I can't even consider whether or not I'm jealous of the others, because I don't trust myself not to bite you every time we're together. I…" He paused and glanced around the table. His uncertainty was so obvious, it scared me. He was never uncertain. "Well, damn. You three have been my trusted friends for decades. If I can't show my insecurities to you…"

Nathan mumbled for another moment, then looked at me with his deep blue eyes. "I'm afraid of what will happen to us if we do this. I can't be with you without biting you. I'm guessing that your dhampir, Mir, feels the same way about me." He set his mug on the table and wrapped both hands around it. "The power we create together is intense. More than I ever could've imagined. I think we need to ease into any intimacy with caution.

"But please don't take this to mean that I don't want you. There isn't any part of me that doesn't want to claim you completely. I have to consider the consequences of my actions, both good and bad. I have an entire clan counting on me to make the right decision. Not the selfish decision."

I stared at Nathan for several moments, watching his expression change from frustrated to resigned. He'd been keeping me at arm's length because he thought it was best for all of us. When he tried to ignore me, he was ignoring his own desire. All because he didn't trust himself, and he feared what would happen if he and I continued to share blood.

All this time, I thought he resented me and wanted nothing to do with me.

"We'll figure it out," I said. "I agree with Mir. Fate put us together for a reason. I won't deny fate's gifts, even if I don't understand why they did it."

"It seems I can't deny it either," Nathan said. "Now tell us how you feel."

I opened my mouth to explain all the doubts and fears tumbling through my mind, but I couldn't. I sat there staring at the guys—who had been so honest and open—wondering how I could voice my insecurities without sounding petty or stupid. Mir was right; I was probably just overthinking it.

I'm always right.

Sure you are.