Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

Sarah

L ast night was awesome.

I had woken with a satisfied grin on my face, but it faded fast when a servant knocked on Deacon’s door. I was summoned to a breakfast with Rex at a very early hour, and as his guest it wasn’t like I was in a position to refuse. But I didn’t like that the guys weren’t coming along, and they were both equally agitated at Rex’s request.

“No. Absolutely not,” Deacon said, folding his arms across his bared chest, watching with narrowed eyes as I dressed.

I sighed, annoyed with his overbearing attitude. After last night I’d thought that we’d come to an understanding, that I had no interest in Rex on a romantic level. “Do you trust me?”

Deacon’s jaw clenched. “It is Rex I do not trust.”

With good reason, I’d give him that. I wasn’t so na?ve that I didn’t see how cunning Rex was beneath all that charm, but I also had no intention of falling for his flirtations. I only wanted to get to know him better. I wanted to know more about Faithless and its inhabitants. I wanted to figure out Rex’s motives, because it was clear he had one.

“I refuse to allow you to be alone with him,” Deacon continued in a domineering tone.

I bristled, because Deacon’s bossy attitude reminded me of Ryan’s, my ex back on Earth, and how he’d controlled my thoughts, my actions, and my decisions. Never again. “Deacon, we may be united, but I don’t need your permission to do anything, really.”

Anger flickered in his golden eyes, the same dark emotion I’d seen last night when we’d returned to the room from dinner. The same intensity he’d unleased on me in the most earth-shattering ways, both shocking and delighting me. The recollections of how hot and passionate that angry sex had been made me shiver even now.

“Let her go,” Jac said, coming up beside Deacon and giving his shoulder a reassuring squeeze to calm him down.

Jac looked mutually wary about me being alone with Rex, but he knew we were really all at our host’s mercy and had little control over our situation. I’d seen the massive moat around the estate when we’d arrived, and there was no doubt that Deacon had seen it, too. We weren’t leaving until Rex allowed us to.

The tension in Deacon’s body eased a fraction. “Do not touch him, and do not let him touch you, Sarah. Are we clear on that?”

“Yes.” I’d give Deacon at least that much reassurance.

Finished dressing in a conservative tunic dress, I gave both Jac and Deacon a quick kiss each and opened the bedroom door. The female servant who’d come to collect me for breakfast with Rex stood there waiting, and as soon as I stepped outside, she led the way down the hallway back to the dining area.

“Do you know why Rex would want to see me so early?” I asked the other woman.

She shrugged. “His whims come and go with the phases of the moon. Best not to disappoint him. Ever,” she advised.

I glanced around, but the halls were quiet and empty. “Do you know where our friend, Omen, is?” I asked her.

She stiffened at the question before replying. “I don’t know.”

I had the feeling she was lying about Omen’s whereabouts, but before I had a chance to grill the servant further, we arrived at the dining room. Rex was already there, in his seat at the head of the table.

“Good morning, Sarah,” he greeted me cheerfully. “Pleasant dreams?”

“You could say that,” I replied, remembering how last night’s activities had also seeped into my dreams. “And yourself?”

“More than pleasant.” His eyes sparkled with something depraved. “Mine were wicked visions of naked bodies, writhing in ecstasy. Three naked bodies in particular.”

Fire burned its way up to my cheeks as I settled into the seat next to him, and I was suddenly aghast at the possibility that we’d had an audience last night. “Rex Terian, did you spy on us?”

He tried to look innocent, and failed. “That would make me a trickster, would it not?”

“I have heard as much about you.”

“Then it must be true.” He chuckled and gestured to one of the servants standing nearby, who scurried off to an adjoining room, then returned moments later with two plates of food.

I glanced down at what was set in front of me, trying to be open minded about the cuisine on Halla. I recognized soft boiled eggs—from what kind of creature, I had no idea—shredded meat, and a bright pink fruit of some sort. I tentatively took a taste of the meat, which was savory with sweet undertones.

“Tell me, Sarah, prior to your union with Deacon and Jac, had you ever been possessed by a ghost?” Rex asked.

His out of the blue question startled me. I wanted to say no, but I didn’t want to lie to him, either. Not until I needed to lie to him, anyway.

“The truth is, I’m not sure,” I said, then tried a bite of the egg, which tasted very similarly to ours on Earth.

“Possession is unambiguous,” Rex pressed in a curious tone. “How are you unsure?”

Setting my eating utensil down on my plate, I took a breath, trying not to outwardly shiver as I thought back to that eerie night. “I don’t know how much you know about Earth, but—”

“A fair amount,” Rex cut in. “Go on.”

“Seeing ghosts is not a common thing on Earth, and it’s definitely not something you talk about,” I said. “It’s the kind of thing that can get you locked in an institution for the rest of your life, if you’re not careful.”

“Yes,” Rex said with a nod as he finished the meat on his plate. “I’ve never understood that.”

I tried to explain how things worked on Earth. “As a people, we’ve drifted from religion being a dominant force in our lives, so now if something supernatural happens, it’s usually seen as a psychosis. My former boyfriend kept me drugged up to stop me from seeing the ghosts—”

Rex scowled. “That’s appalling.”

I smiled at his outrage on my behalf. “I figured out when I was young that I couldn’t tell too many people about seeing ghosts. I didn’t really know what I was seeing until I was eight and my imaginary friend told me details about my teacher’s past, like how she liked to shoplift and had been a thief before she became a teacher. I was asking her about all of this because it sounded more interesting than our math lesson for the day.”

He chuckled, the sound rife with amusement. “I would think so. What happened?”

I sat back in my chair, remembering that day. “Well, the parent-teacher conference after school was mortifying for my mom, who told me afterwards that I couldn’t tell people what the ghosts told me. She knew what I was seeing, and she told me to never tell anyone again. She made me swear it. She said people would take me away from her, and I would have to live in an institution for crazy people if I kept sharing. So, that was enough to put the fear in me and I swore I wouldn’t.”

I took a moment to take a drink from the pale brown liquid in my glass, which tasted like a sweet nectar, before telling Rex more. “When I was fourteen, a ghost told me my older sister’s boyfriend was drunk, right before Elizabeth was about to get into a car with him behind the wheel. I cracked. I ran and warned her, and of course she didn’t believe me, until I told her that a ghost told me. Elizabeth ratted me out to Mom for saying that in front of her boyfriend, and I was punished, even though telling her had saved her life.”

“That’s not fair,” Rex said, sounding miffed on my behalf.

“I agree. I was so mad about it at the time.” I shook my head, still annoyed, even though it was such a long ago memory.

But then my stomach twisted when I recalled what happened later that evening. “That night I was stuck in my room because I was grounded, and the ghost came to me again—the same one who had warned me about Elizabeth’s boyfriend. He wanted some kind of compensation for helping me to save her life. I didn’t understand—no other ghost had ever wanted anything in exchange for information. He…”

My voice faded, while I tried to tell a stranger one of the darkest things to ever happen to me. But then, in some ways our unfamiliarity made sharing my story easier than trying to tell Jac or Deacon.

Almost compassionately, he said, “You don’t have to tell me, Sarah.”

I swallowed hard and met Rex’s gaze, surprised by the empathy I saw there, as if he understood me . “I think I should. It might help, if you don’t mind.”

He nodded. “You can tell me anything.”

Lured in by Rex’s offer and the chance to unburden myself of such a humiliating secret, I found myself opening up to him. “The ghost…he was irate and kept shouting at me to give him all of my body. That I owed him, but I refused. He found my letter opener in my desk and made my hand grab it and hold it to my throat. He told me to go to my vanity and sit there, so I could watch him force me to cut my throat.”

Tears burned my eyes. I could still feel the fear that had gripped me at having very little control over my body, and how this ghost intended to possess me. “When he dragged me to the chair to force me to sit, I struggled and ended up kicking the chair over, which made him angry. I managed a strangled scream, and my mom and my sisters showed up within seconds, having heard the commotion. They saw me holding the letter opener to my throat, and my sister, Jenny, rushed me, knocking me backward. The knife went flying, and that jarring movement is what finally broke the ghost’s hold on me.”

“You’re lucky she saved you,” Rex said, drawing me in deeper with more of his kind words.

“I spent a year in an institution after that,” I forced myself to say out loud as I wiped away the tears that had fallen down my cheeks with my fingers. Then, I ducked my head in embarrassment. “Sorry, this isn’t something I usually talk about. Actually, I never talk about it. No one in my family does. I’ve never told anyone.”

“Thank you for trusting me with that.” Either Rex was actually touched that I shared my story with him, or he was a truly great actor. “I’m sorry that happened to you.”

He patted the back of my hand before I could stop him and hold true to the promise I’d made to Deacon. His touch was peculiar—not creepy, like I had thought being touched by a ghost would be, especially after sharing that story with him. His hand was soft and surprisingly warm. Almost…real.

I lifted my gaze to his. “Rex, how is it that you can touch the living?”

He smiled and sat back, withdrawing his hand. “Some ghosts have this ability. We don’t have to be filthy conduits to do it. I’ve heard tale that it is due to our mental fortitude in life, and it carries through to our death, but most ghosts I knew in life, men stronger than me, cannot do it. To be honest, I think I’m just lucky.”

A lie. I wasn’t sure how I knew it, but it was definitely a lie. I smiled sweetly and sipped more of the sweet nectar before asking, “So why do you call us filthy conduits?”

His mouth dropped open in surprise, before he smiled to cover that show of emotion. “Please understand, when I speak of them, I do not intend to imply you, as well. You are the contra. You are above them.”

“But I am a conduit.”

“A special conduit,” he reiterated. “Not a filthy one.”

I arched a brow. “Is that why we haven’t seen Omen around here?”

He damn near squirmed in his seat. “I am not comfortable with them roaming freely in my home, Sarah.”

“Why not?” I pressed.

He looked me directly in the eyes. “They want me dead, so I want them dead.”

I found that interesting, but also solvable. “Why not try to broker peace between you?”

“There will never be peace between us,” he said in a suddenly terse tone. “They do not hate me for who I am—they hate me for what I am. A powerful Terian who came to Halla and made something of himself. According to them, I made myself too important, much like the ruler, Justice Bateen, on Orhon. Conduits do not like competition.”

I smiled and sat back, matching his confident posture. “But I am the contra. I have no competition.”

“Precisely why you’re here,” he said.

I shook my head. “No, I’m here because you sent Leda to me, and I do not own slaves.”

A slow, devious grin appeared on his face. “I thought that might crawl under your…” he looked down at my dress’s hem, “… skin .”

Now that I knew Rex better, his tactics didn’t surprise me. “You sent her as a test to see who I am?”

“I thought that would be obvious by now.”

“And according to you, who am I?”

His grin became a shrewd and arrogant smirk, showing me his calculating side. “A beautiful woman who knows what she wants and will stop at nothing to get it. The impressive contra who killed Mother Portend, alleviating much of my stress after that bitch had sent assassin after assassin to execute me in my own home after I had done nothing wrong. And, according to Helios, you are now the Mother of conduits, which surprised me as much as it delighted me.”

“Why is that?” I asked.

He leaned closer to where I sat. “Because Mothers have untold powers, and I like having powerful allies. The enemy of my enemy can be my ally, if she wants.”

“Funny word, that.”

He frowned. “ Ally ?”

“ Untold .” Wanting to prove a point, I raised my hand and watched as the steam of his voice was pulled from his throat and entered my palm. “What do you say to that?”

He tried to speak and could not. Panic flashed across his expression. It was the first time I had seen Rex off his game. His eyes were wide, and when he realized he’d shown a vulnerable side, his alarm gave way to a seething anger that flickered in his gaze, that I’d gotten the upper hand when he’d least expected it.

Satisfied I’d conveyed an important message, I gave him his voice back.

“What was that?” he snapped.

I gave him a sweet smile, but my words were anything but. “Don’t flatter me, thinking that will get you anywhere with me. I’m not some classed girl who needs her ass kissed. I am not a dignitary who needs their ego stroked. Tell me what you want from me and why I should be allies with you, Rex. Do not waste my time with further flattery. And do not call me Mother. I do not like that title. You may call me Queen of conduits.” For the first time, I found myself truly embracing what felt like my destiny.

“Your queendom is rather miniscule, no?” he said, the challenge in his tone unmistakable. “Just the one follower.”

He was referring to Omen, and I wasn’t at all offended by his insinuation. “Things can change in the blink of an eye, Rex.”

“Yes, they can,” he agreed.

He stared at me for a long moment, clearly seeing a very different side to me. One I hoped he took seriously.

“Join me,” he said, abruptly standing from the table. “I need to stretch my legs in the garden.”

Together, we left the dining area, and I followed Rex to the garden, which was filled with scented flowers I didn’t recognize, until we found some yellow flowered vine growing on the fence. I breathed them in, relishing the scent.

“I haven’t smelled jessamine since I left home. How—”

“I do my research,” he said, as we strolled along a pathway. “Thought you might like the scent of home.”

I found it odd that he’d planted the flowers for me, but expressed my gratitude anyway. “Thank you.”

He glanced at me, studying me for a long moment before speaking. “I like you, Sarah, and I do not say this to flatter. I am only telling the truth. You are powerful and ballsy and would make an excellent ally. But,” he took a deep breath and said, “I don’t know that I can be allied to you.”

“Why is that?” I asked, genuinely curious to hear his reasons.

He sat on a bench beneath a trellis covered in more jessamine, and exhaled hard. “Because, I can’t trust myself with you.”

I sat next to him, a little confused by his confession. “What does that mean?”

He shook his head and smiled, without flirtation and charm. “I…I find you more attractive than I thought possible. But you are a woman of high moral character, and so nothing will ever come of it. More than that, the penalties for committing adultery are—”

“ Steep ,” I reminded him. And there was no way I’d ever cheat on Jac and Deacon. Ever.

He nodded once. “Not that it matters. You have your morals.”

“You keep bringing up my morals, but what about yours?”

He laughed shamelessly. “Haven’t you noticed, Sarah? I have none.”

I studied his still handsome face, wondering what he would have been like alive. “You put on a big show about being some kind of terrible person, but you and I both know that’s not true.”

He was suddenly in my personal space, too close to my side and almost leaning over me. “Isn’t it?”

His words were a challenge, and he boldly touched the side of my face, ghostly fingers pushing my hair back. My body tingled, not in pleasure, but with something akin to a warning. A sixth sense that something was very off.

My instincts screamed at me to pull away from him, but I didn’t want Rex to think I was frightened of him and what he might be capable of. Even if I was scared in that moment.

“But, alas, you are too great a temptation for me to pretend to have morals,” he said, then he kissed me.

His lips touched mine before I could stop him, and I gasped at the electric sensation that rippled through me. I felt paralyzed for a moment, disoriented, and panic gripped me as I finally came to my senses and jerked away, then slapped the side of his face, shocking us both.

The sound echoed in the garden as he pulled back.

I stared at him in bewilderment and confusion. How did I do that?

Rex’s mouth was agape for a moment, before it turned up into a conniving smirk. “Interesting.”