Chapter 1

1

EMMA

My feet carry me on autopilot as I make my way from my house to my favorite coffee shop. The ripples of change have been shifting in my life since I broke up with Cole. It seems no matter where I turn, I no longer have the support I once did. The stab of loneliness from losing nearly everything works through my body—my friends, my future as a doctor, and the safe places where I once found solace.

The noose Cole tied around my neck seems to grow tighter by the day—with every friend who dismisses me, or colleagues who have turned their back on my success. I'm afraid if I don't leave I face one of two deaths. A death of myself by getting back together with Cole or a death of reputation, which is quickly becoming my reality as Cole continues to drag my name through the mud. My only chance of escaping these circumstances is this job I applied for nearly a month ago. I’ve been so apprehensive to see my future and the reality I’m about to face. So I’ve waited until I had my favorite coffee in hand at my favorite place so these tiny blips of joy can help me hold it together when I feel like I’m facing the executioner.

“Morning, Doctor .” The normal teasing lilt of MaryAnn’s voice has a sharper nastier connotation as she mocks my new title. “Will you be having your regular today?”

I'm so put off by this new tone I don't even know how to respond, speechless in the face of coffee. “Yea, yeah just a…a caramel latte,” I finally stutter out.

Almost like a pendulum, MaryAnn shifts to her kind bubbly personality. “You got it! I'll bring it over in a minute.”

The whiplash of her attitude has me confused. “Thanks,” I say timidly, “I’ll be over there,” gesturing towards the area I like to sit near the back of CocoaBeans. She nods in understanding.

Did I imagine that? Was she mocking me? I get some of the inner circle friends choosing Cole’s side, but the coffee barista ?

I settle into my seat. Maybe I am being paranoid like Cole said. I quickly pull my phone out of my bag, breathing deeply as I navigate the screens to the email app. This moment seems weighted for so many reasons. In the medical field, you aren’t always guaranteed a job after you finish your residency. Truthfully, my application to Solaris Health Clinic was a shot in the dark, one I was willing to take. Anything was better than staying here.

MaryAnn startles me as she slides up next to me. “Here's your coffee, dear.” Her eyes flip to my phone. “Oh! Is that what I think it is?”

Unable to hide my smile, the thought that maybe someone cares passes through my mind. “Yes,” I say around a sip of coffee as I tilt my phone so she can see.

Doctor Fawnsbeck,

The team and I have been impressed with your background and medical approach and would like to formally offer you the position as Clinic Director at Solaris Health…

~Hunter White

Someone calls MaryAnn over, not before I hear her mumble under her breath, “Good riddance.”

What was that? The question sits at the tip of my tongue. I bite it back as I watch yet another person state their side. Distress burns through me, the reality that I am always going to be alone. Honestly, it's probably better this way. I won’t have to worry about saying bye to anyone. I roll my lips in as I push back the sting of tears. Even the crowded coffee shop can’t touch the solitude that's settled in over the last few months.

The moment solidifies why I need to leave, why I need to stop trusting men to take care of me. I read through the email again, letting excitement course through my body. Anxiety causes my legs to bounce under the table, while I take in the small coffee shop. Soft lighting and large windows accentuate the plants and red brick that line the far wall. Many of the more comfortable couches and chairs are full of other students relaxing after another term. It's May, so the sun shines through the front windows that will soon be open to the large outdoor patio, nearly doubling the space for the summer tourist season. This place has been my home away from home for the last few years and it's one of the places I will miss the most.

I lean back in my chair breathing deeply as the coffee turns bitter on my tongue. Cole, with his slimy slicked back blonde hair, pulls open the door. His sinister eyes lock on me, then he winks and flirts his way through the shop. His similarities to Gaston from Beauty and Beast are uncanny. The town golden boy. The doctor .

His prince-like attributes are what caught my eye. They quickly and without warning morphed into something increasingly darker as our relationship progressed. He became possessive and controlling. My clothes never fit right. I never spoke appropriately. He had me questioning my worth as a girlfriend and the value I had as a doctor. Then, about six months ago, I rejected his marriage proposal and suggested we take a break instead. He has yet to take me seriously on that aspect of our relationship. He often shows up wherever I am by sheer happenstance. He has spread lies that continue to weave into my life, leaving me alone. My friends chose his side and on more occasions than I wish to recount; women have accosted me because of my decision to not date the Doctor Cole Perterson. I’m the villain in his story.

There is a cocky grin plastered to his face, a look I have come to loathe, as he steps up to my table. “Em, how are you today?”

His voice sends a chill down my spine. Attempting to not show my discomfort, I smile tightly behind my mug, setting it down and quickly begin packing my bag. “I need to go, Cole.”

“Emma, don't leave on my account,” he says, the tone in his voice hinting at the underlying frustration. “We both know you’ve had enough space. Can we just have a coffee together?” He looks to MaryAnn behind the counter and she waves at him adoringly.

Right, she chose his side, too.

Cole has always had a knack of turning a situation around on me so if it doesn't work out it’s my fault. It was subtle at first, where I didn’t even notice the shifting sands. I would without thought appease his requests. I would change when he suggested it, I would attend events with him in the name of networking. I was his trophy to look good and be quiet, because if I ever did have a differing opinion than his, he would openly mock me, deflating my already low self-worth.

“I don’t think that's a good idea, besides, I need to finish packing.” I inwardly flinch that I am already giving too much away.

I need to get out of here.

Grabbing my keys, I click the lock button twice, then the auto start button. Hearing my 4Runner roar to life and knowing it’s out there as my getaway vehicle eases some of my bubbling anxiety.

Cole doesn't miss my movements and shifts to block my exit. “Have you had any luck on the job front?”

My smile is hard to hide. “Actually, yeah.”

My happiness only seems to fuel his anger, his tone dropping dangerously low. “Are you going to tell me where you’re moving to Emma? I think your fiancé has a right to know.”

I shudder at the control he once again tries to exert over my decisions and my actions. He knows that there are no jobs in Anchorage. My only option for a future in Anchorage was as a research analyst that would have me working directly under him .

I steel myself and say, “I’m not. Do you have trouble understanding what space means? Time apart? Breaking up?” My tone is rich with rage that he just doesn't get it, but this is my last stand before I leave so I am standing by every cutting word.

His hands clench. My eyes lock on the movement. I impulsively push my chair back so hard it screeches over the wood floor. To add to my embarrassment, a leg catches on a crack and the clatter brings the entire coffee shop to a stark silence. As all eyes turn towards me, mine drop to the chair that is still rocking slightly against the dark wood floor. God Emma, get it together.

A deep voice echoes through the shop, “You good?

A flush of embarrassment fills my body as I fight back the tears of yet another moment, that I’m sure Cole will twist to make me look crazy or incompetent.

My hands tremble slightly as I grip my purse. “Yes…” I say back to the stranger, as I maneuver around Cole avoiding his touch and race to the door. I can feel everyone watching me. The feelings of being alone, truly alone, wash through me once more. No one cares about me, no one cares that I’m trying to sa ve myself. All they see is how pathetic I am. I just want to run, disappear. Tears prick at my eyes as I slide into my warm vehicle, and they don’t stop falling until I park outside my condo.

I take my first full breath since I left CocoaBeans, shifting into park. Just as I’m about to get out my bluetooth lights up with a call from an unknown number. I wrestle with the idea of not answering since my breathing is still very hitched. After the fourth ring I finally slide the accept button.

A deep manly voice fills my car. “Hello. Dr. Fawnsbeck?”

Not immediately responding to the new title, my mind works over why this man's voice sounds familiar.

“Emma?”

I take a stuttering breath, the fact that I have been crying is hard to hide. “Yes…who’s this?”

If he notices my distress he doesn't say it. “This is Hunter White. I’m calling from Solaris Village. We have been emailing about the position as Clinic Director?—”

“Uh, huh,” I say, encouraging him to continue.

He breathes deeply. “We wondered if you could start sooner than discussed? We have had a few more cases pop up and we can't manage it on our own.”

His voice sounds strained now, like asking for me to come sooner is causing him stress.

“I, um, just got your email this morning...” I hear him let out a sigh like he knows it seems sudden.

My pause is weighted, as I consider this could be my chance to escape. I wouldn't have to spend anymore time around people openly trying to make me miserable. I wouldn’t have to see Cole again, I could just leave and start over.

“Okay,” I finally say. “I don't have much left to pack, I can probably leave sometime tomorrow afternoon?”

“You sure?” His voice is hopeful and it's a good sound for his deep timbre .

My confidence grows in this decision by the second. “Yes. I can get my things in order and be ready by tomorrow. Could you send the address? I'll text you when I'm leaving.”

“It’d be my pleasure, Dr. Fawnsbeck. I look forward to working with you.”

Ending the call, I stare at the black screen. Clinic Director . This is so serendipitous. Fate couldn't have planned this better if she tried. My phone lights up as I slide out of my car with a text from Hunter White and the Solaris Village Health Clinic address.