44. Chapter 44

Chapter 44

Ethan

I've had plans for the weekend with Kayla. Most of them involved my cock in her pussy or mouth. Or her ass, if she was up for that. None of them involved Benjamin fucking Adams.

He didn't show up in the neighborhood again and, despite my best efforts, I haven't been able to track him down. I even stole the newest version of the NSA's facial recognition software and hooked it up to every single security camera feed in Bluebell Springs, but Adams is too smart to show his face. He went completely off the grid with an ease that has me worried.

I always considered him to be nothing but a superficial, arrogant jerk. Clearly, I've been wrong. Adams is anything but stupid and that dumb assumption has come back to bite me in the ass. I won't underestimate him again.

Kayla plans on going back to work on Monday. Though I want nothing more than to lock her in my safe room and not let her out until Adams is dead, I know I can't do that. I don't just want her presence. I want her love and while Kayla might be heavily into CNC roleplaying, she doesn't want to be locked up in a basement for real.

Kayla's thighs are still sore, so instead of wild bondage sex sessions, we spend the weekend cuddling, kissing, watching movies, and talking about everything and anything, with one exception—my childhood and why I do what I do.

Every conversation we have, I expect Kayla to finally dig into that topic, to demand I tell her all the details of why and who and what and when, but she never does. She's giving me space and I know I should be grateful, but I find myself wishing she'd ask already so that I can get it out in the open, like squeezing puss from a long festering wound.

"Are you alright?" Kayla asks, running her hand through the short hair on my chest.

We're in bed, and I've just kissed and licked every square inch of her glorious body, with special attention paid to her delicious pussy. I made her come twice before letting her push me away, and her body is still quivering from exertion as I hold her in my arms.

"You seem distracted," she continues. "Is it just about me going back to work tomorrow? I'll be careful, I promise. I'll follow all the rules, and I'll text you all the time."

I tighten my arms around her, my body convinced that if I don't hold on to her, she'll vanish into thin air. "I'm worried about that too, but… It's not just that."

"Are you worried I won't come back? Because that's not going to happen." A moan escapes me as she scrapes her fingernails across my chest. "You're stuck with me."

"That's good. I love you, Kayla." I bury my face in her curls, loving the way they tickle my skin. "You never asked me the question," I start.

Kayla raises her head to frown at me. "The question? Like, the marriage question? Shouldn't you be the one asking that?"

I gawk at her for a full minute before bursting into laughter. This woman. "No, Kayla, not that question. But now that you mentioned it… I won't be asking. I'll be announcing. You won't have an option to say no. Keep that in mind. What I meant was the reason I'm killing people."

"Oh, that." She shrugs, then settles back against my chest. "I figured you'd tell me when you were ready. I didn't want to pry. I'm already annoying you with the mess I make in your pristine house and my inability to put the cups back into their correct spots. I didn't want to look like a helicopter girlfriend on top of that."

"First of all, it's our house and I'm learning to embrace your chaos. You actually make it look more like a home, so keep doing whatever you want. Secondly, you have a right to know everything about the certifiably crazy person you live with."

Kayla's breath tickles me as she chuckles. "You're not crazy. Well, aside from that folding obsession you have. Not everything needs to be folded, Ethan. Socks, especially. They work just fine even when they aren't folded."

"I know. It just…it calms me. Sorry, I'll try to dial it down."

"Nah, it's fine. If it helps you, fold my socks all you want. Just don't expect me to do the same because I'm too damn lazy for that." She resumes the gentle petting of my chest. "I will hear you out if you want to tell me your story. I just want you to know it won't change how I feel about you. About us."

"Thank you." I suck in a deep breath, giving myself a moment to collect my thoughts. "I had a childhood friend. We met in the kindergarten and never got separated after that. Her name was Mia."

I sigh as I remember her vibrant blue eyes and the way they lit up at her rare smiles. "We did everything together. We would spend hours in our garden, my mom bringing us cookies and tea. We went to a ranch in town and worked our asses off there so that the owner would let us ride horses from time to time. I was the only one who could make her smile."

"You wore braces, didn't you?" Kayla asks, smiling. "I bet you were cute as hell. Cute ten-year-old Ethan in love with his best friend." She sighs, her tone growing solemn. "Someone hurt her, didn't they?"

"Not just someone." I have to forcibly stop myself from clenching my fists. "Her father. Mia never invited me over to her house, so I only ever met him a few times, but he scared me. He was all smiles and compliments, and people loved him, but there was something off about him. That, and Mia was terrified of him. She never spoke much about her family and sometimes, she'd cry when leaving my house as if she feared going home."

"Poor girl. Did no one ever notice? The school?"

I shake my head. "If they did, they didn't say anything. Her father was an important figure in town."

"Like Doctor Adams," Kayla adds. "A monster hiding behind his fame and money."

"Exactly. I…I tried to tell people, but nobody would listen to a ten-year-old, especially when Mia was too scared to say anything. When I asked her, she always denied everything, but I knew her well enough to recognize she was lying." I close my eyes as I recount my greatest shame, my gravest mistake. "I should have tried harder. I should have called the police, CPS, anyone. I should have made them listen."

Kayla shifts to look at me. Her eyes are brimming with tears, but her voice is steady. "You were a child, Ethan. You're not responsible for what happened. The adults who were around Mia at the time are. What about her mother?"

"I'm not sure she knew. If she did, she pretended nothing was happening." I should have killed her too. "Mia was smiling less and less. I did all kinds of goofy shit to make her laugh, but there were always tears in her eyes. Then one day…" My heart stutters as I remember that day. "There was a quarry near the town where we used to go swimming. Lots of rocks. There was one safe spot from which you could jump safely and avoid all the rocks. Mia didn't choose that spot."

Kayla sucks in a sharp breath. "Jesus Christ. She was just ten years old?"

"Yeah. They labeled it as an accident. Her parents cried on TV. Everyone was consoling them. I couldn't take it. I stole my mom's gun and went over to their house."

"You killed him?" Kayla doesn't sound surprised.

"Not back then, no. There were other people at their house, they were having a wake. I was terrified I'd hit someone else, someone innocent. I just wanted to kill Mia's father, not to cause grief to another family. So I went back home, returned the gun, and started my lifelong journey of studying the subject of how to kill people and get away with it."

Kayla leans closer, her lips brushing over mine. I taste salt, and it's not just her tears. Mine have been steadily streaming down my cheeks as I talked. "Did you go back for him?" she asks.

"Of course I did. He was the first person I ever killed. I was fourteen, cocky with my newly gained knowledge. It was messy, I nearly died, and to this day, I thank my guardian angel for not letting me get caught because I fucked up pretty much everything I could. And after that…

"I thought I was done. That it was just Mia's father I needed to kill to find peace. But then I saw a documentary on child predators and I realized that there are thousands of Mias out there. And that they'll all suffer the same fate unless someone does something. And I decided to be that someone."

I exhale slowly, feeling lighter after getting everything off my chest. "This is why I'm what I am. Judge and jury wouldn't see it as extenuating circumstances, I'm sure."

"Nope," Kayla chuckles, "I'm sure they wouldn't. But I understand. I'm sorry you had to go through that, but I'm sure every child you've ever helped is grateful for having a dark angel like you on their side. I think Mia would be proud. I kind of envy her, you know? She got to meet the funny, carefree you."

"I've never been completely carefree. Mia always freaked out when I insisted on having my crayons ordered the same way as the picture on the box." I smile when I remember her exasperated huffs, more tears rolling down my cheeks. I can't remember the last time I thought of Mia and smiled. "Or when I forced her to eat the food in her lunch box in a certain order."

Kayla's shoulder twitch as she laughs. "Ah, so nothing has changed since then. You've always been a weirdo. But you're my weirdo now, and I love you. Don't beat yourself up for things you had no control over."

"Thank you." I didn't know I needed to hear those words until she said them and now, a weight has been lifted off my chest. "I love you, bunny."

I lost Mia. I can't lose Kayla too. I'll make sure she's safe tomorrow, even if I have to stalk her every single move. After all, I am her stalker.