Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

“You’re right, Viggo. We need to be honest with one another.” Signy pushed the door closed behind her.

His head turned in her direction, but he didn’t stir from the stool upon which he habitually sat.

“So, I was right.” His voice was weary. “You tell me what you decide I should know rather than trusting me to understand what’s important?”

“I’ve no excuses.” Signy came closer. “I’ve much to explain. Things I’ve held back, but I’m resolved to tell you now. I ask only that you keep this confidence between us, for the secret isn’t mine alone, and I fear endangering the peace we’ve created between your men and our women.”

“Peace! Is that what you call it?” He made an exasperated sound.

“Please, Viggo. You may judge for yourself why I’ve not shared this with you before.” Hastily, she drew forward the other stool.

Though his face was hardened, Signy could see he was ready to listen. Gone was the ranting fury of their last encounter, as if the air had been taken from him, leaving barely enough to breathe.

“You’ve guessed, or someone has told you…? Our men sailed away some time ago, and they show no sign of returning. You can imagine our thoughts when we discovered you on the shore. ‘Twas a gift from the gods. Being women alone, with no man among us but a babe in arms, we?—”

“Thought you’d harvest us for our seed,” he jumped in.

“I don’t deny it.” Signy swallowed. “Tell me, what do you know?”

Both Rangvald and his jarl had visited Viggo. If Elin or Hedda had been loose-lipped, the knowledge they’d shared was no doubt known to all the strangers now. ‘Twas an uncomfortable thought that Viggo was likely aware of a great deal more than she gave him credit for. Little wonder he’d become incensed.

“Never mind what I know. I want to hear the story from you. Men don’t just disappear off to sea—grey-beards and childlings alike—without expectation of return.” His mouth was set.

“True enough. The way they left was unexpected but understandable, given the circumstances. I told you my father and brother died, but it isn’t true. They departed with the rest. My mother and I watched from the sands as they boarded. Not once did they look back nor utter a word of farewell.” She paused but could not read Viggo’s expression.

“It began so many days before. The men had gone to the other side of the island for their ritual, one they performed at certain intervals. I wasn’t supposed to know anything of it, naturally. No women were allowed to know, not even where our men went. Nevertheless, my brother liked to taunt me about it—that he knew things I did not, that he was a man and thereby superior in ways I could not fathom. That he made communion with the gods, visiting a special place.”

Viggo gave a quiet grunt but made no other comment.

“I asked him about it, of course, but he delighted in knowing what I did not, holding that secret over me as proof of his ascendancy.” Signy frowned. ‘Twas strange to think of it now—that far-off time and the power her brother had exerted over her, alongside their father.

She cleared her throat. “The sickness began as soon as they returned. All of them had it to some degree—vomiting and cramping of the stomach, but dizziness too, and a disorientation of their thoughts. Some ranted, as if they no longer recognized their own wives and mothers.”

Signy grimaced. “We thought ‘twas the end of all days, that we too would be struck down, but while the men writhed and cried out, bewailing their fate, not a single woman among us was affected. We nursed, we comforted, and we burned the dead, but we remained spared.”

“And the men who did not succumb?” Viggo asked.

“‘Twas us they blamed.” Signy went on. “As if we’d brought the curse upon them. You can’t imagine the turmoil and the… violence!”

“Believe me, I can picture it only too well,” Viggo answered quietly. “So, you concealed the history of this place, that misfortune struck down your men. They are long gone, and you struggle alone. There can be no more children unless we oblige.”

Signy went on. “The goddess sent you to bring?—”

“Do not evoke the gods.” Viggo did not raise his voice, but he spoke firmly. “Perhaps they willed this upon your island, and perhaps they guided us here, as you say. But your decision to tell half-truths, to manipulate us… those choices are your own.”

She was relieved that he made no declaration of disbelief, but still, he asked, “There is naught more you conceal?”

“There is more, but I won’t tell you until you’ve made a promise.” Moving from where she sat, Signy came to kneel before Viggo. “I beg you to release me from my oath. I cannot bear to think of it… of you ending your life. You must know?—”

“Don’t ask me that.” His reply was immediate. “Once you’re with child, my purpose is fulfilled.”

“What of love, Viggo?” Desperate to make him listen, she clasped his hands. “I’ve told you how I feel. You came here as a stranger, but you’re part of my life now. I can’t let you go.”

A look of pain crossed his face. “Eventually, you’ll have to. If you refuse, I’ll find a way to do what I must alone.”

“So, you’ve forsaken me entirely? You care nothing for my fate when you’re… gone?” With all her strength, Signy tried not to surrender to tears. The conflict between them made no sense, at least not to her. Viggo was torturing himself, and for what?

“I do care.” Breathlessly, he pushed out the words. “I won’t promise to set aside my goal, but I shan’t leave you unprotected.”

A flame of hope ignited within her. “You’ll stay with me?”

“Until potential danger has passed.” He allowed his fingers to intertwine with hers. “You’re right to be wary of us, Signy. We men who landed on your shore are not so different from those who abandoned you. Eldberg is planning departure. When that time comes, he’ll act quickly and to his own benefit. No matter what he says, he’s not to be trusted. He’ll take what he wants… even your women, with their consent or otherwise.”

Signy could not hide her alarm. “Nay! We’ll never let that happen.”

“Don’t underestimate our jarl. He’ll choose a time when you’re unprepared. He’ll use cunning, and he’ll have formed alliances. There will be enough helping him to smother any dissent.”

Signy shook her head. “Of course, if some wish to go, none shall stop them, but he can’t abduct us against our will. No honorable man would do that… at least, not where he’s received hospitality and shelter. Nor do I believe our own women would turn on us.”

“It won’t matter what you believe. What I’m saying, Signy, is that I won’t let him take you. Not unless you’re adamant in making a new life away from here.”

“If it were with you, Viggo, I’d go anywhere,” she answered vehemently.

“I’ve told you. I won’t be going with them.”

“Then I shan’t either!” Signy countered.

Solemnly, he nodded. “I’ll make my jarl believe I’m loyal, that I’ll help him provision the boat, that I’ll row for him even. But as soon as I know they’re ready, you must do as I say, Signy. Prepare a place on the hillside to hide. I’ll divert whoever comes for you until there’s no time for them to search.”

“But what of you, Viggo? What will Eldberg do if he thinks you’ve betrayed him?”

“In likelihood, he’ll kill me, which is all to the good.” Viggo’s expression was grim.

“Nay!” Signy was growing frantic. “I can’t bear it! If you’re to die, at least permit me to be with you. Let my arms be the last to hold you as?—”

“Enough! I’ve told you how it’s going to be! I release you from your oath. One way or another, I don’t expect to live much beyond this cycle of the moon.”

“But I need you, Viggo! I told you, there is more… Something I’ve kept from you these weeks past.” Signy clutched at the last of her secrets. If this didn’t sway him, nothing would. “I wasn’t certain… not at first, and I didn’t want to tell you because I feared it would be the end of everything, and I wanted more time. So much more…”

She took a gulping breath.

“‘Tis not just for my sake that you must hold on to this life. I need you, but so will another. Someone far more vulnerable than I. Someone who deserves to know you.”

“What are you telling me?” His hand released hers, grasping her tightly above the elbow.

“That a child is coming! Your child, Viggo.”

Several expressions crossed his face—surprise, followed by disbelief, then he looked almost joyous before a frown closed off his happiness again. The spark which had briefly lit his eyes was extinguished.

“You’re certain?”

“‘Tis early, but my instinct tells me a child is growing. I believe they’ll thrive. My heart tells me it's so.”

He passed his hand over his face. “I ought to be angry you kept it from me, but I cannot.”

“It changes everything, does it not? Now that you know the child is coming? I do not believe you would abandon us.” She searched his face, waiting for the glimmer to return, which had signaled his pleasure at the news.

However, his expression was implacable. At last, he spoke.

“It changes naught, Signy. You must see…”

“Nay! I do not!” A surge of anger brought her to her feet. “Tell me then that you do not love me! That you love neither me nor the child!”

“‘Tis no matter how I feel.” His voice was leaden, but he cast up his eyes, as if to look into her own. “You surely know that I love you, that you’re the only woman I’ve ever loved. If things were different. If I were different…” His voice broke.

“Oh, Viggo!” Without hesitation, she embraced him, bringing his head to rest against her lower belly. “Cease this. Let me love you, and love me in return. All else, we can navigate.” Gently, she stroked her fingers through his hair. “Come to bed now. Lay with me. Be soothed. Naught else shall matter. There is only you and I.”

His arms hugged her tightly, and she felt his shoulders heave, but he kept his face buried where she clasped him to her. Long moments passed before he withdrew.

“You keep pretending, Signy, telling me we can be more, but I don’t think we can. I’ll always be like this… or worse.” His cheeks were streaked wet, the tears caught between his lashes. “How can I carry on like this, day after day? Helpless. Useless. A burden. A danger. I’m barely the man I was. I cannot speak for what I’ll become. I can’t?—”

Placing her hands on either side of his face, she tipped back his head and stopped his protestations with a kiss. His arms came about her again, and he widened his legs, so she stood between them. He held her fast, surrendering to the gentleness of her mouth, offering no more argument.

‘Tis all I want. Only this. There must be a way to stay as we are.

Deeply, they drank of each other, tugging lips and touching tongues.

It’s going to be alright. I know it is.

However, when she reached for his hand to lead him to the bed furs, he let it drop, eluding her coaxing.

“No more.”

The bleakness in his eyes caused her breath to catch.

“Viggo. Please.” ‘Twas an empty pleading, for he made no reply.

At last, she understood.

He loved her, but it wasn’t enough.

Her love wasn’t enough.