4. Melissa

4

My eyelids flutter open, and the afternoon light bathes my room in peach, casting everything in a soft glow similar to the way the moonlight danced on Xander's muscles last night.

Fuck, Xander. I can still feel his heated gaze, the light caress of his calloused fingers.

I can't keep the smile off my face as I look over to his side of the bed. He's gone, but that was to be expected. What is unexpected is the vivid splash of red invading his space. A single rose, its petals unfurled like it's taking a breath.

I move away from the rose, and the air in the room slowly gets sucked out as I cover my mouth, gasping for air the same way I did that night. I couldn't move then. I couldn't look away then. I still can't do it now. The color red still feels like being gutted to me, a stark reminder of that woman's body.

Memories flood my mind, and I can't help but reenact that night—the blood, the screams, the horror as she painfully twitched her way to death. At the center of it all is the color red, staining everything in its wake.

I hate the color red. No, I despise it.

Every time I see red, it is like reliving the nightmare of watching that murder over and over again. But Xander couldn't have known that. If he knew, I doubt he would traumatize me like this the night after losing my virginity. Right?

I stare at the offensive rose, too lost in thought to hear Gianna come into my room until she sits on my bed. "Who on earth brought this into your room?"

Gianna crawls across my bed grabbing the offensive rose by the petals prepared to throw it away, but I grasp her wrist, "Wait!"

"Who would do this to you after Mamma? After what you saw!" Rage flashes across her face as she looks me over. No one would give me a red rose after Mamma's murder.

I was the one who found her in the middle of the road, a puddle of blood surrounding her. I couldn't get the metallic smell out of my nose for months, or the sight of my mother's blonde hair dyed burgundy from the gunshot wounds.

Father covered Mamma's casket in her favorite red roses and left a bouquet of them in the middle of the foyer for her. I couldn't get away from red if I wanted to.

"He didn't know," I whisper delicately, grabbing the edges of the rose and pulling it into the palm of my hands.

"What do you mean? Wait a minute. He? He didn't know? Who is he?"

Gianna jumps up onto her knees, laughing. I turn to her with a coy smile, blush wrapping around the apple of my cheeks.

"Xander," I whisper, hiding my face.

"Oh my god!" Gianna screams, and I leap covering her lips with my hand. She smiles against my hand and wiggles her eyebrows.

"If I move my hand will you agree to whisper?" Gianna looks into my eyes and nods frantically. I remove my hand, looking down at my lap. "What do you want to know?"

"Everything, Mel! Fucking everything!"

"Well last night we had sex."

Gianna screams and I have to tackle her to get her to calm down. She whisper-yells underneath my body. "You lost your virginity to Xander Amory?! Was it good? Was he big? Wait! Tell me when to stop." Gianna sits up, placing her palms together and slowly expanding them. I slap her hands and giggle.

"It was perfect. He was gentle, passionate…possessive." I look at my hands, remembering how my nails dug into his chest. "It was like he was mine, and I was his, just for the night."

"So you lied, it wasn't just a kiss." Back then I hoped it was just a kiss for the both of us, but not after last night. The way he held me and whispered into my hair.

"No, it's more than a kiss." Gianna laughs, tackling me to the bed.

Two weeks.

It has been two fucking weeks since Xander stole my virginity and disappeared. No calls. No texts. No flowers. No visits. I don't think even Daniel has seen him in the last week.

I can't believe he would dare do something so foul. I thought he was different. That he cared!

I sit in front of my vanity, placing a delicate wing around my eyes. Sunday dinner is always a black-tie affair, especially after Mamma died. It was the only thing left of her we could continue to do, even when we sat in painful silence until Father would excuse himself.

I am wearing a glitter bronze dress with a low cut fitted bodice that almost makes my breasts look like they're spilling over and accentuates my curves. I remember as a little girl my mother wearing this dress. My father would look at her as if she was the only woman in the world, and for once I want that to be me.

I look carefully at the outline of the dress and decide I will not wear a bra because I don't want to mess with the shape of the bodice, but I put on a lace white thong.

The straps fall effortlessly off my shoulders, and the skirt flows down from my waist to the floor. The slit comes up to my hip, the ruching giving the allure of the slit being higher. I finish my make-up with light pink lip gloss just as Daniel knocks on my door.

"Mel, hurry up! You're acting like the pope is downstairs." I turn around, ready to snap at Daniel but lock eyes with Xander. Xander's in a sleek black suit tailored to perfection. His muscles bulge underneath the fabric. His white collar is unbuttoned three buttons down, showing a hint of his chest. His hair is loose and a little messy.

"Well, I think she's dressed like a queen." Xander winks at me, but Daniel smacks him in the stomach.

"No flirting with my sister, dude, gross."

Xander laughs and looks at me like he's starving and I am the first meal he's seen in years. "Mel, down in five or we will start eating without you."

Daniel pushes Xander out of my room, and once the door closes I sigh, releasing a shaky breath I didn't realize I was holding since I first saw Xander.