Chapter Seven

Amara

A n hour had passed, and Amara had yet to move from her spot in between Knox and Zeke, even though she knew that she should. She literally couldn’t. Her body felt heavy and more satiated than she had ever been in her life. Her arms and legs felt like spaghetti, and her holes throbbed from being taken so roughly. Even her neck ached due to Drake’s hand, and she was sure it would bruise. But still, her wolf had never been happier. Which was entirely the problem.

She clutched the sheet to her chest, her mind trying to come to grips with what she had done. She had just had sex with three guys. At the same time. It didn’t matter that they were her fated mates; it was wrong for so many reasons.

If she decided to follow through with this, if she chose to be with them, she would have to leave her pack. Pack life was all she had ever known, what she had grown up with. It may not be the best life with her father being the kind of guy he was, but from what she was taught, it was far better than living life as a rogue shifter.

She was very close to several in her pack, and she didn’t want to leave that family behind. However, pack shifters were not supposed to mingle with rogues, which meant that she would be cut off from everyone and everything she had ever known. If she was being honest with herself, she wasn’t sure she could live like that.

A bang from the other room caused her to glance at the door. Drake was seemingly in his room now, slamming shit around. He was angry, she could tell, and that made her feel worse than she already did.

In fact, a part of her felt used due to how he acted toward her. There was no emotion behind what they had done. While Zeke and Knox had been rough, there had been more behind it than just sex. And Knox had marked her, had claimed her as his. With Drake, it felt angry, like a punishment, but she didn’t know what she had done to warrant one.

Knox brushed his fingers against the curve of her breast, pulling her out of her mind. His touch stung a bit due to the wound being fresh but the pain seemed to ground her. She looked over at him and realized that he appeared to be quite proud of himself. He obviously didn’t understand what he had done by marking her the way he did and making her mark him as well. He didn’t realize how much he had messed with her life. Or if he did know, he didn’t seem to care.

“You’re a dick,” she told him with a sigh.

She was not looking forward to the conversation she was going to have to have with her father after this. Nor did she have any idea how to even bring it up. Thankfully, she had a little bit of time to figure that out since Knox had marked her in a place her father never saw.

Knox just grinned at her in response. “I seem to recall you liking my dick.”

Amara slapped his sweaty chest, but she was unable to keep the smile from creeping to her lips. There was something about Knox’s playful nature that was infectious, no matter how hard she tried to avoid it. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”

He gasped, clutching his chest where she had slapped him, and nodded his head toward Zeke. “You want to be careful, little bunny. We have a witness to domestic violence.”

Beside her, Zeke chuckled and shook his head. “I didn’t see shit.”

“In that case, hurt me a little more,” Knox stated, grinning wildly.

The sight of him so happy was both a blessing and a curse. The fact that she had been the one who made him happy elated both her and her wolf, however, she was also going to have to ruin that happiness by reminding him of how badly he had messed things up.

“You’d like that too much,” she quipped. “Besides, I’m trying to be serious here. Do you have any idea what you’ve done, marking me the way you did?”

“I made you mine. I don’t see anything wrong with that,” Knox replied instantly and without any remorse.

She sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Knox, I already told you that this wasn’t going to work. And now you’ve made it so we don’t have a choice. How do you not see a problem with that?”

When Knox looked over at her, all humor was gone, and his face had grown serious. His eyes narrowed, and his jaw clenched. “That sounds like a fucking rejection.”

“It’s not a rejection,” she said quickly, not wanting him to get the wrong idea. “It’s just… we were supposed to take some time to figure things out. Not rush into it.”

“I don’t need time. I take what I want, what’s mine.” He was growing angrier by the second, and that hadn’t been her intention. She just wanted him to understand.

Clearly, there was no point in arguing anymore anyway. It was already done. His mark was already in place, and so was hers. There was no taking it back. They were going to have to figure out how to make this work, whether they liked it or not. Their futures were now intertwined in the most intimate way.

Amara looked over at Zeke, deciding to let Knox calm down a bit. “So, why didn’t you mark me then too?” she asked softly. “Was I not good enough or something?”

Zeke raised an eyebrow as if she should already know the answer to that. “I was respecting your wishes, Princesa.”

Amara pressed her lips together in thought. She hadn’t expected that to be his response. Especially considering how easy it had been for Knox to convince him to touch her back down in the bar. She had thought that, once he lost control, there would be no stopping him. Apparently, he had far more self-control than Knox did.

Scrubbing her hands down her face, Amara let out a breath. “So, what are we supposed to do now?” she asked no one in particular.

“I could ask you to stay,” Zeke told her, brushing her hair out of her face. His touch was gentle. Sweet. It was the exact opposite of how he had been with her just a little while ago. “To move in here with us. But I don’t think that’s what you want.”

“It’s not that I don’t want it,” she told him honestly. “It’s just not possible. Every shifter wants to find their fated mates, you know that. And I am no different in that regard. But my… my home life is complicated. It’s not as easy as just accepting this and moving in.” She paused and glanced back at the door, the now familiar sting of hurt piercing her heart whenever she thought of Drake. “Besides, I think Drake might have some serious reservations about that too.”

“Man, fuck Drake,” Knox growled. Clearly, he was still pouting.

“He’ll come around. Things are complicated for him too,” Zeke added.

Swallowing hard, she sat up, still clutching the sheet to her chest. The guys may be perfectly fine with being butt-naked in front of each other, but she was still very much self-conscious about her weight.

This was too much. It was too much for her to handle and process all at once, and she was beginning to feel a little overwhelmed. She ran her fingers through her hair and wiggled her toes, making sure that she had feeling in them again before she tried to move. She had a lot to think about, a lot to consider. She needed some time to figure out what she was going to do. There was no way she could reject them now, even if she wanted to. Not with Knox’s mark on her body.

As scary as it was for her to admit, Amara didn’t want to reject them. The pull between them all was far too strong, no matter how hard she or Drake tried to deny it. What happened between the four of them had proved that. As did how happy and satisfied her wolf was. She already felt so strongly for all three of them that it was both exhilarating and absolutely terrifying. It was an unfamiliar feeling, but it was a good one. She was just afraid of it all falling apart and never being able to feel that way again.

“I should go,” she said softly, climbing off the edge of the bed to find her clothes. She needed some time to think, and she couldn’t do that with them around. Not with the way they affected her.

“Wait, that’s it?” Knox exclaimed, propping himself up on his elbows. “You are just going to fucking leave?”

“I told you, Knox. My home life is complicated. I have to get back. I shouldn’t have even stayed this late.”

She knew that she should probably explain just how complicated her life really was, what her father was like, but she was ashamed. She didn’t want them to see or treat her any differently. An adult woman being abused by her father was rather unheard of. If they knew the truth about what her father was like, they’d never let her go back to him, and that would just cause even more problems.

The room was quiet for several moments before Knox got up and out of bed. He stormed past her, rage emanating from him in thick waves, and exited the room. It was only a few moments before another door slammed loudly, making her flinch.

“Great,” she muttered to herself, sighing heavily in defeat. “Real fucking smooth, Amara.”

Back on the bed, Zeke sat up and scrubbed the back of his head. “He’s just feeling a little rejected. He’s never chased a girl before, let alone had more interest in them than just sex.”

“I wasn’t rejecting him,” she huffed out. “It’s not like I can do that anyway. I just…” She shook her head as she pulled her dress on. “If you guys knew what it was like for me, you’d understand.” After pulling her hair out from beneath her dress, she turned and looked at him. “I do want this, you know. It’s all I’ve ever wanted. But the fact that I’m pack and you guys are rogue causes issues. Issues I don’t think any of us are prepared to deal with.”

“Then explain it to me. Help me understand.”

Tears involuntarily pooled in her eyes, but she blinked them away. She turned away from Zeke so that he couldn’t see how much this pained her, how hard it was for her to admit. “It’s not that easy,” she whispered, her voice cracking ever so slightly.

She heard Zeke get up from the bed, and a few moments later, his muscular arms wrapped around her middle. She leaned into him, graciously accepting the comfort while silently wishing that she could stay this way forever.

“Whatever it is, we can work it out together,” he whispered, his breath hot in her ear. “That’s what mates do.”

Amara turned in Zeke’s arms and buried her face in his chest to keep herself from bursting into tears. “I can’t. If you knew, if I told you, it would change everything, and I… I can’t. Not yet.”

Zeke pressed his lips against the top of her head and was silent for a beat. “Is someone controlling you, Princesa?” he asked after a while.

Stifling a sob, Amara clung tighter to his chest. She didn’t trust herself to speak. Once she started, she wouldn’t be able to stop, and she couldn’t tell them yet. She wasn’t ready. And neither were they.

He must have taken her silence as confirmation because she heard him sigh, and his grip tightened on her. “Let us help you. Let me help, at the very least.”

“There’s nothing you can do, Zeke. He’s my alpha and my father. I can’t defy him.”

It finally seemed as though Zeke was beginning to understand the severity of the situation because his body stiffened at her words. That was good. Maybe she could get through to him, and then he could explain it to the others.

“What would happen if he found out you were mated and marked?”

“It’s not the mated and marked thing he’d have an issue with,” she admitted, still holding onto him as tightly as she could. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him though. This was the most she had told anyone about her father before, and it was terrifying. However, she couldn’t deny that it also removed a little bit of the pressure that was constantly weighing on her chest.

“Because there’s three of us?” Zeke asked, running his fingers up and down her back comfortingly.

Amara shook her head. Even her father would understand that part because they were fated. “It’s the fact that you are rogues, Zeke.”

His hand stilled at her lower back. “So, he has a problem with rogues.”

“We both did for a while. I grew out of it. He didn’t.”

“Now I’m starting to understand,” he told her, once again kissing the top of her head. “You’re right when you say it’s complicated. What would he do if you just… disappeared?”

Amara considered his question for a little while. She had thought about leaving the pack before, had dreamed about doing so much more than that too, but in reality, she didn’t think it was an option or a possibility. She had always thought that she’d be with the pack for the rest of her life.

“I’m not sure,” she admitted. “He could either just write me off as a lost cause, or he’d tear the town apart to find me for defying him. I just don’t know.”

“Hmmm. Tempting,” he murmured. “We would do that, you know. We’d hide and protect you if you asked it of us.”

Finally looking up at him, Amara gave Zeke a watery smile as she took his face into her hands. “I know you would. But this is my problem to handle, not yours. I do want this, Zeke. I swear I do. I have never wanted anything more, and I will tell my father. I have to now that Knox marked me. I just need a little bit of time to figure out how to tell him and how I’m going to get away.”

She didn’t want to admit it out loud, but there was a very real possibility that, if she told her father what was going on, he’d keep her locked up at home just to keep her from seeing them. In turn, she had little doubt that the guys – Zeke and Knox anyway – would then tear the pack apart in order to get to her. She couldn’t do that to them or herself. She needed to come up with a plan, and she needed to do this right.

“Just, don’t give up on me yet, okay?” she added quietly.

Zeke smiled and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. “I wouldn’t dream of it. Give me a second, and I’ll get dressed and walk you to your car.”

Amara took a step back and watched as Zeke pulled on his jeans, forgoing shoes or a shirt. He then smiled and took her hand before the two of them made their way out of the room, down the hall, and out of the apartment.

With every step she took, she could feel the guilt eating away at her more and more. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. When a wolf found their mate, they were supposed to be inseparable. They weren’t supposed to leave, and it pained her to know how much it was going to hurt both Zeke and Knox.

The night was cool and quiet, though she could still hear the sounds of people talking and laughing from inside the bar. The sky was clear, and the stars sparkled like glitter. It was beautiful and light-hearted, which was in stark contrast to how she was feeling about going back home where she wasn’t wanted or loved.

Zeke walked her across the lot to her car, and she unlocked the door before throwing her purse inside onto the passenger seat. She then turned to Zeke and gave him a sad smile. “I’m sorry. I know this probably isn’t how you expected the night to end.”

“It’s not,” he agreed, gently brushing the hair off her cheek. “But I’m willing to take this at your pace.” A small smile pulled at the edges of his lips. “I can’t promise the other two will behave the same way though.”

Amara laughed softly. She knew that already, considering the bitemark she now bore. Her dress was rubbing against it every time she moved, making it a constant reminder. Instead of responding, she cupped his cheeks in her hands and pressed her lips against his, allowing herself just a moment to lose herself in him.

When she finally released him, he reached around and opened her door wider. “I’ll wait here until you’re gone,” he said sweetly.

Once she climbed into the car, he closed the door behind her. Amara watched him in her rearview mirror as she drove away, hating that she had to leave him there like that. She felt terrible and wanted to make it up to them. She just didn’t know how. She also had no clue as to what she was going to do about Drake either. She clearly had a lot to think about and not a lot of time to do so.

With a defeated sigh, she turned onto the main road and in the direction of the place she used to consider home. It was very doubtful that she was going to get any sleep tonight.