Chapter Twelve

Amara

T he coffee pot spluttered as it spat out the dark brew into her pot. She was exhausted, and her emotions were all over the place from last night. She’d hardly had any sleep and then her father in the morning . . .

Even though she was already two cups of coffee in, it didn’t feel like she’d had any at all. She rubbed at her eyes. She was hoping this next pot would do the trick, even if it was already the lunch hour and well past the acceptable coffee-drinking time.

Once the machine brewed the entire pot, she poured herself a cup into a blue mug that looked as worn as she felt. She was sore and moving slowly today. She’d never had so much sex in her entire life. Not that she was complaining. It was the best sex she’d ever had, but the consequences of her actions, should she get caught, terrified her .

Everything her father said she had heard before, but it hurt even more now, knowing that one of her mates heard him say it. That was what she had been trying to avoid, trying to keep from them.

Part of her just wanted to accept this whole thing and get it over with. She knew it was inevitable since Knox had marked her already, but if she did, she’d have to leave her pack, and that was what she had a problem with. Pack life was all she’d ever known. She didn’t know how to survive without it, and she was concerned about the ramifications of being a rogue shifter. Especially how it would change her.

She took her steaming mug and moved back to her desk. Gingerly, she sat on her chair, but even that was proving difficult. She winced as the chair squeaked.

Because Knox had shown up the way he had, she hadn’t had time to pack her lunch. Then again, she wasn’t exactly hungry anyway, so it wasn’t really a problem.

Since the shop was always slow or empty around lunchtime, she chose her office to rest in, and she didn’t feel like reading either, so she just sipped her coffee in silence. Her mind wouldn’t slow down enough to let her focus on much of anything else anyway. So instead, to sort out her confusion and to keep her hands busy, she started making a list. She grabbed a pink pen with a fuzzy ball at the top and a pad of white paper and began scribbling the pros and cons of accepting her mates.

Cons. She would piss off her father. As she wrote that, she stared at the words because that could also be a pro. Seeing him angry at a situation he couldn’t control made her feel a little powerful.

Shaking herself, she continued. She’d have to leave the pack and her home, start a kind of life she knew nothing about with three men, and at the same time, she may not be enough for all three of them.

She pursed her lips at her ‘cons’’ list. Satisfied that those thoughts were now on paper, she began the pros list.

She’d no longer be alone, which was a plus. She’d felt that way ever since her mother had gone. She would have three men absolutely devoted to her, never-ending love and protection, which meant she’d never be rogue alone. They could start a family, something she’d always wanted. And, they could live anywhere they wanted to. Heck, she worked next door to where they’d all live.

Sighing heavily, she slammed her pen down on the notepad. She hadn’t expected there to be more pros than cons. Honestly, she had thought making a list and seeing everything down on paper would help her make a decision, but it only made it worse. She was more confused and lost than she was before, and she was a little terrified of that fact.

She bit her bottom lip as she stared at the open door before her, wondering if she was only lying to herself. With Knox’s mark in place, what option did she really have? She couldn’t undo a mate mark – no one could – and it was only a matter of time before her father found out. Especially if Knox kept sneaking onto the property late at night.

Maybe it was time to rip off the bandaid, tell her father, and deal with the fallout.

The bell dinged above her shop entrance door, and she sighed, got up from her desk, and stepped out of the office to greet the customer. But instead of it being a customer, it was Zeke. He strode in with a soft expression as soon as he spotted her. She took him in and how well his jeans hugged every part of his thighs. If he turned around, she’d get an excellent view of his ass .

His mere presence soothed her immediately. He took up so much space, in the shop and in her heart, that she breathed deeply for the first time all day. She hadn’t realized how much she needed that until this very moment.

Both of them headed for the counter, and when she reached it, she set her coffee on the surface, loosely crossed her arms over her chest, and leaned a hip against the edge. “What are you doing here?”

He kept walking until he was before her. Then, he took her into his arms and rested his chin on top of her head. His scent swirled around her, and a sense of calm washed away some of her nerves. Greedily, she sucked in the smell, eager to erase the rest of them.

“Came to see you,” he murmured. “Is that okay?”

She nuzzled into his chest a little. “Yeah.”

“You sound tired.”

“Understatement of the century.”

He chuckled, and the sound vibrated against her cheek. “Knox can be quite demanding. I hope that he let you sleep a little.”

“Oh yeah, he did. For maybe, like, an hour before he was at it again. He’s insatiable.” She shook her head at the memory, a small smile on her face.

Stroking the ends of her hair, he said, “If you want, you can go back to our apartment and sleep for a few hours. I can keep an eye on the store.”

She lifted her head to look at him but made no move to step out of his arms. “That’s really sweet of you, but I’ll be okay. I have a feeling I should probably get used to running on little sleep anyway, between you and Knox.” She purposely left out Drake’s name. She still didn't know what his deal was, and she refused to admit that it still stung.

He whispered something in Spanish that made her skin tingle as he kissed her forehead. “I wish I could say that wasn’t true, but I’d be lying, and I’d never lie to you, Princesa.” He went quiet for a moment, and then he started to lean. “What’s this?”

She followed his gaze as he zeroed in on the notebook she hadn’t realized she had taken out with her. He picked it up from the counter, and her face flushed. “Oh . . . uh . . . it’s notes?”

He smiled a little as he read. “You forgot something in the pros section.”

“Oh yeah? What’s that?” She was relieved that he wasn’t angry at her indecision. Instead, he seemed to be understanding.

Setting the notebook down, he grabbed the pen and scribbled something on the page while holding in a laugh. She read it out loud. “Three cocks?”

“Oh, wait. I messed it up.” He crossed that out and rewrote it.

She laughed. “Three huge cocks? Jesus, Zeke.”

His face lit up at the sound of her laughter. “Tell me where the lie is.”

“I never said that was a lie, but you didn’t have to put that on paper. ” She shook her head, grabbed her mug of coffee, and took a drink.

“Just wanted you to take it into consideration.”

Over the rim of her mug, she giggled quietly. “Oh, believe me, I am. Considering that I am having difficulty even sitting down today.”

His eyebrows pulled together, and the humor faded from his face quickly. “Did we hurt you?”

“Relax,” she said softly, placing her free hand against his chest. “It’s a good sore. You didn’t hurt me. And, surprisingly, neither did Knox.” She sighed and set her mug back down. “You shouldn’t have let him come to my place last night though, you know. My father almost caught him there this morning. It’s a miracle he didn’t.”

His frown deepened, and he rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, he said something about that.”

“Ah,” she muttered and looked at her shoes. She should have known Knox would say something to Zeke about it as he had been really upset when he left. She guessed she had just been hoping that the concept of her abusive father would remain a secret for a little bit longer. “How much did he tell you?”

He observed her for long enough that she slid her gaze back up at him. He rumbled, “Everything.” That one word held so much weight behind it. Anger. Sympathy. It caused her to glance at her books instead of him.

“Don’t be ashamed,” he added softly.

“How can I not be?” she asked, fighting the tears that now threatened to spill over. “It’s one thing to know what my father is like; it’s another thing to see it in person. That’s why you guys need to stay away.” She wasn’t sure if she was telling them to stay away from the territory or from her in general. She didn’t really know anything anymore.

Finally, she met his gaze. “I don’t want anything to happen to any of you because of me.”

“We aren’t afraid of him, Princesa. Say the word, and we’ll take care of this, however you want.”

She shook her head immediately. “I won’t be the reason there’s blood on your hands either, Zeke.” Her tone was firm, even as tempting as his offer was.

Honestly, she had lost hope a long time ago that her father would ever treat her with any sort of dignity or respect. Since her mother left, he had changed into someone cruel and mean. It changed the way he looked at her, the way he saw her. She could only guess that it was because she reminded him so much of her mother. She wasn’t going to deny that sometimes she wished something would happen to him so that she could be free of him, but she wouldn’t let the guys, her mates, be the cause. She wouldn’t be the reason they became murderers. Again.

He considered her carefully. “We don’t have to kill him. We can take you and go somewhere he can’t find you.”

“And give up the life you guys built for yourselves here? Not a chance! I’m not . . . I’m not worth all that trouble.”

Tucking a hair behind her ear, he asked, “Is that what your father tells you? That you’re worth nothing?”

“That I am nothing,” she corrected in a soft whisper, averting her eyes once more. She may not be ready to tell him the whole story, but he already knew a lot of it. There was no point in hiding the fact that her father hated her.

She could tell that he was angry, but he was holding himself in check. “You’re our mate. You’re worth more to us than our own life.”

Because of the honesty in his tone, she looked back at him to witness the sincerity of his words etched all over his expression. It was just hard to believe that when she had been told something different for so long. “Maybe to you and Knox,” she replied. “But Drake gets it. Being with me is going to cause you so much trouble, and while I do want this, I can’t be the reason your lives are turned upside down. I don’t see any scenario where this could work out the way we want it to.”

He gave her a small smile. “We’re mates. We’re fated to be together, and therefore, it’ll work out how it’s supposed to work out. And as for Drake . . .” He paused to sigh. “He’s fighting his own demons when it comes to you. I know it’s a big ask, but try not to take it personally. He’s going through some stuff from his past. ”

She pressed her lips together. “It’s kind of hard not to take it personally when he treated me like a fuck doll.”

He brought her into another hug, tilted her head back, and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. “That’ll work itself out too. You’ll see.”

Her lips lifted into a small smile. “You seem to be so confident and positive that this is going to work out. You make it hard to fight you on this.”

The grin he shone down on her was brilliant. “You’re my mate. It’s my job to make sure you know I’m there for you.” He rubbed small circles at the curve of her back. The simple act gave her goosebumps.

He looked around at the books. “I have a confession to make,” he added.

“Don’t tell me you’re gay,” she teased.

His laugh warmed her soul. “I think we both know that I’m not. No, I came here to see you, and to see if you had a book I’m looking for. I’ve been meaning to stop over for a while now, but now that I know my mate owns the store, it gave me a perfect excuse.”

Her brows creased. “You read?”

He nodded. “Every chance I get, but I haven’t been able to find the last book in the series I’m reading in any of the bookstores in town. I thought maybe you might have it.”

She reached over, picked up her notebook off the counter, and ripped off the pros and cons list. After sliding the note into her purse under the counter, she handed him the notebook and pen. “Write it down. If I don’t have it, I have ways of getting it. I can have it to you by the end of the week.”