Chapter Ten

Amara

A mara woke up to a sunbeam shining brightly through a crack in the curtains. Her eyelids opened a sliver to glare at the offending ray, and she would curse it if she wasn’t so comfortable. So warm. Far warmer than normal.

It only took her a second to remember that she was not alone. A small little stretch and Knox’s arms tightened around her. Not only that, but they were both naked. His hard stomach was pressed against her soft back, moving slightly as he took steady breaths.

Her eyes shot wide open. Having him show up in the middle of the night was bad enough, but having him there when the sun was up brought about a whole slew of fears.

She turned her head to get a look at him. His eyes were still closed, a peaceful and unguarded expression she hadn’t seen on him before now. He didn’t display the usual rough and damaged man she had come to know and develop feelings for.

The urge to trace his features, touch his scar, made her fingertips itch, but she tightened them into her palm to keep from doing so.

She wasn’t going to deny that, the more time she spent with the guys, the more she wished it could be as easy as just accepting them as her mates. But that wasn’t the case. Her situation was complicated and messy, and the last thing she wanted to do was bring that into the guys’ lives. Drake seemed to get that. It was Knox and Zeke who were the problem. Knox especially. He had already claimed her, marked her, and there was no reversing that.

Carefully, she turned in his arms. He stirred only a little, so she began to run her finger over some of the tattoos on his chest.

A part of her was grateful that he had done what he did. While he had taken away her choice in the matter, he had also made it clear that she was his and that he would do whatever was necessary to protect her. The question was: Could he and the guys really protect her from her father? And could she really trust them with the truth of his abuse?

“You’re staring,” Knox said sleepily. “Like what you see?”

She sighed a little. “I think you know by now that I do, Knox.”

He opened his eyes, and they zeroed in on his bite mark before he lifted his gaze back to hers. A satisfied smirk tilted the corners of his lips, and he placed a hand behind his head, accentuating his corded muscles. She couldn’t help but watch them ripple. “Look all you like. I’m not going anywhere.”

She groaned and rolled onto her back, scrubbing her face with her hands. He was not making this easy, but she was too tired to fight him right now. “You can’t just up and move in here, you know,” she grumbled under her breath.

“If I had my way, you wouldn’t be living here at all.”

“Yeah, I’m sure that would go over great with my father. And with Drake.”

There was an edge to his voice when he replied, “Fuck them. You’re mine.”

She looked over at him and gave him a small smile. “You’ve made that perfectly clear.” She wasn’t mad about it either. She was just worried. “And I’m not denying that.”

Satisfied with that answer, he took a look around the room, an eyebrow raised. “Have an obsession with pigs?” he asked, taking in all her figurines scattered on her dressers and floating shelves.

“What? They’re cute,” she said defensively. She’d had some strange obsession with them since she was a little girl and she got her first stuffed pig from her mother.

Not wanting the conversation to turn in the direction of her mother right now, she decided to change the subject. Talking about her mother was still painful for her because it was after she left that her father’s demeanor toward her changed. She didn’t want to ruin the mood by discussing all that, though she knew she would need to at some point. They deserved to know the truth.

“Are you planning on making this a routine, Knox? Randomly sneaking into my place in the middle of the night?”

He grinned at the challenge, surely seeing it as a dare. “Who is going to stop me? Are you?”

She rolled her eyes in response. She knew that she had no chance of stopping him from doing anything he wanted to do. He was the kind of guy who always got what he wanted; she knew that now. “No. I’m asking so that I can make sure I keep condoms on hand, you ass.”

She was mentally smacking herself for not considering that sooner. She needed to be smart about this until she could talk to her father and figure some things out.

“Condoms are for pussies,” he deadpanned.

“Technically, they are for dicks that go into pussies,” she countered. “You know, to prevent pregnancy and STDs and stuff. Responsible people use them, especially ones not on birth control.”

He flicked his gaze to her lower abdomen. “I’m clean, and correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t having kids the next step in this sort of situation?”

“Oh my god,” she muttered to herself. She couldn’t even think about the ‘next steps’ when she hadn’t cleared the first hurdle of telling her father. And there were several other steps before they even thought of the whole kid thing; moving in together, going on dates, maybe actually being together instead of whatever weird limbo they were currently in.

His brows pinched together as he lowered his hand to just below her belly button.

“What?” she asked when his hand lingered there.

“I’m not sure I’d be a good father though,” he admitted. She didn’t realize he could be so serious, so vulnerable, and frankly, open.

“Why do you say that?” she asked him softly. She didn’t want to push him if he didn’t want to talk about it, but the sadness in his voice was suffocating, and she wanted to take it away.

He flicked his gaze back to hers but kept his hand where it was. “You may have only known me for a short while, but I think you know that the way I lead my life, my personality even, isn’t good for being a father.” His jaw flexed. “I’ve never had a good example of one either. I wouldn’t know how to handle a kid.”

Her heart squeezed in her chest at his admission, and she covered his hand with hers. “First of all, no one knows how to handle a kid, Knox. That comes instinctively. Secondly, you wouldn’t be doing it alone. And in case you haven’t noticed, I haven’t had the best parental example either.” She let out a small sigh. “As for your personality, you actually have a lot to offer a child, whether you want to believe it or not. You could teach them to be strong and resilient, to always go after what they want, to stand up for themselves. Those are amazing qualities to have, you know.”

He scowled a little. “So you’d want to have my kid?”

She swallowed hard. It was not an easy conversation to have, but if this was going to work, they needed to be honest with each other. He had just made himself vulnerable to her; she could do the same for him. “If it were any other situation, I would in a heartbeat. But right now, my situation is complicated, Knox. It’s . . . it’s not as easy as accepting you as my mate.” She gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “Seeing as how you already marked me though, we obviously have a future together. So, yes. Somewhere down the line, I would love to have your kid, if that’s something you want.”

He didn’t say anything back for a little while, probably thinking over what she had said. Eventually, he shook his head, slid on top of her, and scooted her knees apart to settle in between them. The unstable Knox returned with a wicked grin, and he said, “Doesn’t hurt to practice.”

She laughed and shoved against his massive chest. “Don’t even think about it. I have to get ready for work.”

Wordlessly, he rocked his hard erection against her center. She gasped, and he demanded, “Be late. ”

He was not making this easy for her. She was seriously considering giving in to him and being late to open the shop when there was a loud knock on the front door of her cabin. She knew the sound of that knock as well as she knew her own face.

Her eyes widened, fear spiked, and she shoved Knox off of her. “Shit,” she cursed under her breath.

She jumped out of the bed, grabbed her robe, and looked back at Knox, who appeared completely unfazed. “Please,” she begged softly. “If you care about me and the bond between us at all, stay here, and be quiet.”

Without giving him a chance to respond, she rushed down the stairs, pulling the rob on as she went. She could only hope Knox did as she asked and stayed upstairs in her room.

Taking a deep breath first, she opened the door just wide enough to see her father standing on the porch, a look of irritation on his face. That was his normal facial expression whenever he was around her.

His salt and pepper hair was combed to the side, and his gray eyes looked down his sharp nose at her. He was a thin man with a broad build and weathered skin around his tanned cheeks. She looked nothing like him, having received almost all of her features from her mother.

“Morning, Dad,” she greeted weakly. “Everything okay?” He normally only came to her place whenever she had done something wrong.

“I noticed that you didn’t come home until late last night.” There was an edge to his voice that made the muscles in her back tremble.

“I had a customer,” she lied. “We got to talking, and I didn’t realize what time it was.”

“I told you,” he snarled a little, “You need to be spending more time with the pack, not with your precious book store.”

She frowned. He knew how important the bookstore was to her. It had belonged to her mother. It was the only thing she had left of her. She was working and donating over half her earnings to the pack as it was, and whenever she was home, she took care of anything her father asked of her. He didn’t really have any reason to complain.

“I’m sorry,” she replied instinctively after a while. “I’m just trying to give the shop the kind of love and devotion that mom did. I’ll do my best to keep my hours more reasonable.”

He opened his mouth to say something, but his eyes wandered down her face to her neck. His nostrils flared as he growled, “Did this customer happen to have their lips on your neck?”

“What?” she asked, not understanding what he was implying.

He pointed and snarled again. “You have a hickey, Amara.” His gaze lifted back to hers, and his eyes were so angry that she took a step back, afraid that he might hit her. “I didn’t peg my daughter as a whore.”

Her face blanched. She hadn’t realized that Knox had left a visible mark. “I…” She couldn’t come up with a plausible excuse or reason behind the mark. Instead, she let out a shaky breath and looked down at the ground between them. “I’m sorry.”

He leaned forward and inhaled. “I can smell him on you, you fucking slut. Clean yourself up, and learn to keep your legs closed.” And then he stomped off.

Eyes burning, she closed the door and rested her head against the cold wood. Her father had the ability to make her feel dirty and useless, and she hated it. If he thought her sleeping with one man made her a whore, how was he going to feel when he learned that she was mated to three of them?

She attempted to wipe the tears away and turned around to head back upstairs. However, after a few steps in, she stopped short. Knox was standing at the bottom of the stairs, arms folded and a pissed-off look on his face. This was the first time she’d seen him look so angry.

“H-how much of that did you hear?” she whispered.

“Every fucking word,” he growled. “The only reason he’s still alive is because I know you’d appreciate it if I didn’t rip his head off of his fucking body and feed it piece by piece to the crows.” His nostrils flared angrily as he took a step toward her. “How long has this been going on? How long has he treated you this way?”

She sniffed, a tear rolling hotly down her cheek. “Since my mom left,” she admitted as her cheeks flamed. She was beyond embarrassed. She was ashamed because she couldn’t believe that Knox had gotten an inside look at her everyday relationship with her father. It had been her hope to avoid that.

“Zeke was right,” he murmured, a dangerous edge to his voice. “You’re afraid of him. That’s why you won’t fully give in to the bond. That’s what you mean when you say it’s complicated, isn’t it?”

Twisting her hands in front of her, she nodded, afraid that, if she spoke, her voice would waver. She didn’t want him to see just how afraid of her father she really was. He constantly made her feel like a scolded child, even though she was a grown woman. If she were in Knox’s position, she’d leave. She wouldn’t want to put up with that kind of drama either.

A part of her was scared he would do just that too, taking away the only happiness she had felt in a very long time. The thought terrified her, and she hadn’t realized how much she needed the bond between them until that moment.

Sighing, he stepped up to her and wrapped his arms around her. With his chin resting on her head, he said, “I’m not good at this emotion thing, but I’ll gut him. If you want me to, I’ll go gut him and give you his heart as a trophy for breaking your own.”

She smiled through her tears. The thought was sweet in that twisted way she had come to expect from Knox. It was tempting too, but she shook her head. “That would cause a war. It’s not worth it,” she told him. “Just give me some time. I’ll…I’ll figure out how to get away.”

She could tell he didn’t like that answer because he gripped her a little tighter. “Do you want me to go with you to work?”

Tilting her head, she looked up at him. “No, that’s okay. I can’t risk my dad seeing you. Though, I wouldn’t complain if you decided to stop by at some point.

He gripped her chin and lowered his mouth to hers, nipping her bottom lip. “Then I’ll leave so you can get ready to go. I have some stuff to do, but I’ll find you later.”

“Okay. Just be careful when you leave. Don’t get caught.”

He kissed her between her eyebrows and gave her one more squeeze but didn’t respond. Instead, he headed out the door.