Chapter 24 - Joyce

The last week has been hard. Anton was still upset with me, and I was also keeping my distance. He made me happy, and I appreciated his company, but with Jax back in my life… Holding my head, I bent down, taking a deep breath. I had to figure this out quickly.

I knew what I had said was uncalled for. He was trying his best, and I felt terrible for hurting him, but I had to protect him. If Jax found out, he would use Anton to get to me. To manipulate me. I couldn’t let that happen.

Since the night Jax came at me out of nowhere. Then, the empty file. My head was all over the place. Jax wasn’t a good man anymore, and I couldn’t trust him. I felt sure he was looking for something.

Without any contact for so long, I knew nothing about him. What if he uses Anton and his family to get to me? No, I couldn’t take such a chance. I had to keep Anton at a distance for now. It’s been a couple of days since that first meeting that night.

Jax had contacted me twice a day, trying to convince me that Anton was bad. Yet, every time he tried to extract information from me. Each call was rushed; he always called me in a hurry and never answered any of my questions. He bombarded me with questions seeking information.

He has talked about holding Anton back while I escaped. I’d spent too much time with Anton; I was sure Jax was up to no good. I couldn’t trust him. Anton wasn’t the type of man Jax tried to convince me he was.

Walking to the window, I decided I’d have enough. All week, I stayed in bed, lying low. Anton was starting to think he had done something wrong. I hated hurting him. So, when Jax calls today, I will force him to answer my questions.

The thought had barely come up when my phone rang. Holding it up, I saw it was Jax. “Hey, Joyce,” he whispered as I accepted the call.

“Stop, Jax,” I huffed. “First, answer some of my questions if you want me to believe you are looking out for me.”

The line was silent for a moment. Jax sounded upset as he spoke. “Joyce, we don’t have time for this. Have you decided to leave Anton yet? Please, you need to; he is only using you.”

Feeling angry that he was again pushing his agenda down on me, I spoke louder. “Jax, you have no right to tell me to leave Anton or anyone. You don’t know him. When will you start answering my questions?”

“Joyce, please,” Jax begged. “I will answer everything once you are safe with me. Please do this one thing for me. Before you decide, just think about it. I am trying to protect you, to save you. I care about you.”

I heard him taking a deep breath before continuing. I have to go, but please, let me help you. Just send me the information I asked for.”

Opening my mouth to protest, I heard the click, and the line went dead. Staring at the screen, I breathed in slowly, trying to calm down. I wasn’t sure what Jax was after, but my instinct told me I couldn’t trust him.

Turning and leaning against the window, I tried to decide what to do. From all I've seen, Anton wasn’t a bad man. I just couldn’t figure out why Jax wanted information on him. I didn’t need to escape. I’d have to stay hidden and lay low for a bit in case Jax had spies searching for me.

I did my best to stay clear of Anton. I couldn’t afford Jax to know how much I cared for him. The next couple of days were strenuous. I made sure to be up before him and out of sight. I spent most of my days locking myself up in the study, eating alone, and pretending to be asleep when he came home.

Walking circles around him was difficult. Not being able to hold, hug, or kiss him drove me up the walls. My heart ached every time I caught a glimpse of him. My days were filled with loneliness, and I always felt tired.

Deciding to take a swim, I hoped to clear my mind. Anton had work to do and would be out most of the day. I hadn’t been in the pool long when Anton appeared on the side out of the blue. “Joyce, we need to talk,” he said, holding his hand out.

“I thought you were out today?” I asked, feeling a shiver running down my spine.

He shook his head, waiting for me to take his hand. Swallowing hard, I took it and allowed him to pull me out. He sat down on one of the loungers as I wrapped my towel around me.

Sitting on the lounger next to him, I fumbled with my fingers in my lap. Anton cleared his throat and took a breath before he spoke. “I need to know; you can’t just ignore me. You can’t do this, Joyce. I need to know if you are interested or not. I’m not a monster; if you don’t want to be with me, just say it. I won’t force you into anything if you don’t want to be with me!”

I could hear the pain and sadness in his tone as he spoke. His voice rose slightly at the end. Glancing at him, I noticed tears forming in his gray eyes. What have I done to this man? I thought as I watched him drowning in sorrow. Not once did I consider how my actions were affecting him.

I wanted to protect him but ended up hurting him. My heart felt like it was shattering into a million pieces as a tear rolled down his cheek. I had to be honest with him. Taking his hand, I held it to my chest as I spoke. “Anton, I want to be with you.”

His voice sounded hoarse as he spoke. “Then why, why have you been isolating?”

Shaking my head lightly, I opened up. “I’ve been avoiding you to keep you safe. I don’t want something to happen to you.”

Anton smirked. “Joyce, doll face,” he breathed out. “I can take care of myself and you. Why would you think you had to keep me safe? Remember, I got you into this, not vice versa.”

I tried to swallow the mountain growing in my throat and chest, but it was too big. My heart overflowed with all the pain and fear I was holding back. My tears started streaking down my face as I inhaled sharply. My lungs felt like they were rapidly filling with fire.

Anton slid off his lounger, moving onto his haunches before me. “Please don’t cry,” he said, wiping at my tears. “I care about you, and with each passing day, my feelings have grown. Let me ease your pain.”

Anton kissed my fingers before pulling me into his warm embrace. I took a deep, slow breath. Feeling him holding me, I knew I couldn’t do this alone and would have to inform him.

“Anton,” I breathed out, pulling back a tad. “Jax has been calling me, asking me to leave you…” My words fell away as his expression changed. I wasn’t sure if I should continue.

Rage had replaced all the pain and sorrow in his eyes a moment ago. As he spoke, I could also hear it in his rough tone. “Why am I only hearing about this now?”

“I didn’t want you to get hurt; I couldn’t allow him to take you away from me,” I huffed between breaths.

“Jax is a dangerous man, doll face. How did he even get hold of you? How long have the two of you been in contact? What does he know?”

As his words fell to the ground, I felt my tears burst uncontrollably. I tried keeping them back, but they just flowed.

“Shh, it’s okay, come here, doll,” Anton said as he pulled me into his arms. “I’m not angry or upset with you.”

“I didn’t tell him anything, I promise. I didn’t say a thing as I love you,” I sobbed into his chest. As the last part of my sentence was uttered, I realized it wasn’t how I wanted to tell him how I felt.

Anton kissed me on the head, whispering. “I love you too, doll.”

I watched in horror as he stood up and walked away. Then he stopped and just stood there.