14. Nevarn

Chapter 14

Nevarn

" F or safety reasons?" she said.

That, yes, though it wasn't my primary reason.

"Or are you worried about your reputation?" she asked.

I wasn't sure what that was. "Maybe. No. Yes."

Her laugh snorted out. "Decisive, Nevarn. Decisive. And while I'm not one to boost a male's fragile pride, I'll stay with you while we're visiting the clan. Not only for safety reasons. I'm also not interested in becoming the star of the first episode of Bachelorette, Alien Style."

"Thank you." I wasn't sure what I would've said if she hadn't agreed, though I was correct that the prior traedor might've insisted she choose a mate. It was hard to say what the new traedor would do, though he was more open to new ideas than our grandfather.

"When we reach your clan, I think I'll remain single and adopt at least a hundred groundhogs," she said.

"You could do that, I suppose. You don't wish to be mated, to fall in love?"

"I do want to fall in love, but I don't know anyone but you. Maybe your gods can be talked into sending me back to Earth."

"I'm sorry to tell you, but so far, they've refused. One of the other women asked them to do it, and they told her no."

"Well, that sucks. Since you're traedor, will I be forced to pick someone once we reach your clan?"

"Never. Though other than Helena, you'll be the only female in my clan."

"Which means I should mate and start producing babies?"

"Again, only if you wish. Our god can make sure you don't quicken with younglings, if that's your wish."

"Really?"

"I told you my people were dying. Without mates, there will soon be no more Zuldruxians. But no one would force you to produce young if you didn't want them."

"Do you want younglings?" she asked.

"If the gods ever saw fit to give them to me, then yes."

She paused on the path. "Then I'm sorry your mate died." Her probing gaze sought mine.

"Thank you. We were . . . We weren't a love match."

Her mouth formed a circle. "But you came to love her eventually, right?"

"Unfortunately, no." I studied the trail ahead. Soon, it would widen, and the vegetation would thin. Then the ground would slowly become sandy, and we'd reach the shore not long after that. Despite the fact that it was no longer my clan, I was eager to show Kerry the wonders of the world I grew up in.

"I should've loved her," I said. "I tried, but she loved someone else."

"Really?" she breathed.

"I believe her lover killed her."

"Lover?" She clutched her fingers to her throat. "This sounds . . . sad."

I nodded. "I knew she had found someone else. I was waiting for her to tell me."

"Do your people divorce?" She explained the meaning.

"If a couple doesn't wish to be together any longer, the elder dissolves their union, so yes, one could say we also have divorce."

"You would've let her go," she said.

"Yes. Instead, I think her lover killed her and made sure I took the blame. I was found with her lying dead beside me on the ground and me with her blood soaking my hands."

"That's damning."

I sought her gaze. "I didn't do it. I swear this. When I came across her on the trail outside our village while returning home from a hunt, she wasn't dead. She was bleeding, and I turned her, hoping I could put pressure on her wound, only to find such a huge gash in her back that it would take the very gods themselves to seal it closed. The blade was still inside her, and I pulled it out, tossing it aside."

"They say not to do that."

"They are right, then, because she bled even harder and died in my arms. Others heard my cries and rushed to us."

"They found the blade and saw blood on your hands."

"It was my knife. Whoever killed her stole it from me."

"Wow. After they touched her still warm body, they assumed you did it," she said.

I nodded.

"There wasn't anything anyone could do?" she asked.

"It was already too late. Because no one should die alone, I'd lifted her into my arms. She whispered to me with her last breath."

"What did she say? Did she tell you who stabbed her?"

I shook my head. "I couldn't understand her words." I sighed. "She died, and I was accused."

Guilt kept dragging me down, and if I allowed it to do so, it would consume me. I hadn't killed her, but could I have saved her if I hadn't sat beside a stream and dreamed of a better life after I'd finished my hunt? If only I hadn't pulled out the blade.

"You couldn't determine who did it?"

I loved that she still didn't think I'd murdered my mate. "I defended myself but our former traedor didn't believe me. Neither did her parents. They were angry, mourning, and they wanted someone to pay for her murder. I was the ideal choice."

"Why?"

"We weren't true mates."

"I'm not sure what that means."

"When the gods bestow a mark on the couple, it shows their favor. Those who are marked like this will know a love that will last beyond this lifetime. True devotion and caring, a love no one else can tear apart."

"It sounds amazing," she said wistfully. "Humans don't have anything like that. I mean, I guess we do. We call them soulmates, but there's no mark to show us that one particular person is the one we're fated to love forever."

"Would you ever want a love like that?"

Her gaze met mine, and I could see so much longing there, it ripped through me like an attacker's claws. "I would."