11. Kerry

Chapter 11

Kerry

" N evarn," I breathed, not sure what else to say.

He watched me intently; I could feel the heavy caress of his eyes. He couldn't know my thoughts or how much I ached for the life he was offering. He was close, yet untouchable, and the emotional distance between us made my heart yearn fiercely for what I'd never had with anyone else. My chest tightened with longing, my soul reaching out while my lips stayed sealed. Each moment I spent with him intensified the ache, the expanding gap inside me that I sensed only this guy could fill. There was so much I wanted to say, but fear kept swallowing my voice.

"We can talk another time. Swim," he said softly. "Enjoy the beauty of this place and this moment." His hand tightened on his newly crafted spear. "I'll make sure nothing comes near, that nothing harms you." He spun around to give me privacy, and that only made my chest hurt even more. This male treated me in a way no one else ever had, as if I mattered. It was a balm to my wounded soul, and because it was new and unexpected, I didn't know how to react.

I was no seductress. I'd had my share of boyfriends, but I hadn't felt as if I could let myself go with any of them, because it was hard to trust. I could tell they weren't "the one."

I now believed I was waiting for Nevarn.

The thought spooked me, and I made myself focus on removing my clothing and striding into the river, sinking down until water covered my body. I washed my hair, luxuriating in the feel of it being clean, then scrubbed the rest of myself. After tossing my precious tiny bar of soap onto the shore, I floated, savoring the water's caress and the knowledge that I was safe. I didn't need to keep my guard up because Nevarn would make sure nothing dangerous came near.

My eyes stung, and I dipped down below the surface to wash my tears away. I silently mourned my mother's loss but also the closeness to people she'd denied me. I understood why; she must've been terrified someone would discover she had a child and use me to get to her. But that meant I'd been raised in a lonely, isolated world.

Here, I could finally break free.

I left the water feeling cleansed both inside and out, but also a touch vulnerable, as if removing the scab covering my emotions left me both healing and raw.

After drying off, I dressed in my only other outfit, one I'd washed in the river the day before and hung on branches to dry. I scrubbed the clothing I'd worn today, taking care not to damage the material.

How long before everything I owned was so tattered it showed more skin than it covered?

Nevarn was right. I couldn't do this alone. But while that thought should drive me to tell him I'd accept his offer of protection, the soft part of me I'd covered with that scab ages ago said it would be nice to stay with him because I liked him and wanted to stand by his side.

I wasn't there yet, though I suspected I might soon be ready to take that step. Would he wait or would he get impatient with me? Time would tell.

I stifled a yawn. While I hiked regularly, I used to eat better than I had since I came here. The lack of calories and ongoing stress, plus the need to remain hyper-alert, was slowly depleting my excess energy stores. Walking all day hadn't helped.

Molly scampered over to me, her fur dripping, and I rubbed her off with my improvised towel. She wiggled and sighed and even flopped on the ground to roll over onto her back to present her belly for pats. Which I did while she grunted and huffed and gave me groundhog grins.

"Would you stand guard while I wash?" Nevarn asked.

"Of course."

I remained on the shore with my back facing the water, my skinning knife in hand, and he soon joined me, his hair dripping and his face and chest gleaming with water droplets.

"You can, um . . ." My gaze was swallowed by his chest. His ripcord abs. His narrow hips barely covered by a scrap of material. "You can use this . . ." I handed him my robocop nightie and spun around. "To dry," I added.

"Thank you."

Listening to him rub his body made heat flare through me. I wanted to be the one gliding the fabric over his chest. Ducking it between each of the lines on his abs. Moving it lower . . .

"Finished," he said.

"I just need to hang these," I croaked, lifting my wet clothing.

Molly rolled back over and sat up, peering from me to him.

He walked up beside me, staring at the mass of wet clothing, and frowned. I wasn't sure why he slowly nodded.

Returning to the fire, he took my wet things and draped them over bushes a short distance away. While Molly flopped on the tamped down grass near the fire to toast her body with warmth, he strode over to a cluster of trees and laid his palms on them.

"What are you doing?"

His palms still flush against the bark, his low hum rang out. Finally, he turned and strode back over to stand with me.

"All set," he said.

"Did you commune with the trees?" I was joking. Maybe. His talk about tree gods was slowly sinking in. This was a brand-new world, and just because trees weren't sentient back on Earth didn't mean they weren't a full alien species here on Zuldrux, one capable of speaking and . . . doing things, whatever that might be.

"There's one god in the area. It will provide new clothing for you by morning." His tone contained no hint of humor.

A chill shot through me. On Earth, if trees could create clothing, people might call it magic. They wouldn't believe the person telling them it was possible.

Here? "Gods" kidnapped mates from Earth for Zuldrux warriors. They lived and thrived among those who were indigenous to this planet. They catered to the needs of this species and in return, they seemed to only crave praise.

My perception of the possible and impossible was quickly changing.