24. Athena

24

ATHENA

M orning sunlight streams into the training courtyard as I find Raven practicing with a curved blade, her movements fluid despite her subtle favoring of her left leg. Her midnight hair whips around as she executes a complex series of strikes against an invisible opponent.

My thighs ache with every step, and the bite marks on my skin rub pleasantly against my leathers. I ache all over and I don't know how to deal with the conflicting feelings that it brings up.

Maybe that's why I'm out here. Being in my room made me think of Uriel too much, and I'm not sure what to think anymore. He seemed like he wanted me, but was I just entertainment? It's hard to think that, especially when he treats me differently than anyone else. But he's also a xaphan and has made no secret of how little he thinks of me.

I feel so lost. It's polarizing with how incredible my body feels.

So, I pause at the courtyard's edge, watching her graceful yet deadly dance. Maybe I just need to talk to someone - and I pray Raven won't laugh at me.

"You going to stand there all morning?" Raven's violet eyes find mine as she sheaths her weapon. "You look like you've been mauled by a shadowbeast."

Heat creeps up my neck. "Is it that obvious?"

"Honey, you're walking like you rode a thorned zarryn bareback." She drops onto a stone bench, patting the space beside her. "Come on, spill it."

I sink down next to her, wincing. "I don't even know where to start."

"The beginning's usually good." Her wings shift, creating a shield of dove-gray feathers between us and any prying eyes. "Though from the looks of those marks peeking out of your collar, I can guess most of it."

"It's not the physical part that's confusing me." My fingers trace the edge of a bruise on my wrist. "It's just…" I sigh. "I expected him to want me in his bed. But not like this. This wasn't forced, and I don't know how to feel about it."

She watches me. "What do you mean?"

"I heard Uriel say I was just a human worker to him." I look down, feeling uncomfortable. "And I realized I thought I was more here. But he made me think I wasn't - at least until last night. And now I don't know why he did it."

"You want to know what I think?" I meet her gaze and nod. "I think he didn't like seeing you not being yourself. I think that you both care about each other more than you realize or are willing to admit."

"You don't think I'm just some worthless human?"

"No." Her eyes are hard as she gives me a very serious gaze. "None of us do, least of all Uriel."

I lean back, staring at the morning sky. My mind feels like mush. "He kept asking what I wanted. Demanding I tell him. Like he needed to hear me say it."

"And did you?" Her violet eyes dance with amusement.

"Yes." The word comes out barely above a whisper. "I've never... I mean, I always thought I needed to be protected. To be kept safe. But last night, with him..." I press my hands to my heated cheeks.

"You felt powerful." Raven nods knowingly. "Even without magic, even being human. He made you feel strong."

"Is that wrong?" I turn to face her fully. "To want that? To want him?"

"He wants you." It's not really an answer, but it's the one she gives me.

"He kidnapped me, Raven." I twist my fingers in my skirts. "I should be trying to escape, not..." My voice trails off as memories of his hands on my skin flash through my mind.

Raven shifts on the bench, her wings rustling. "Look, being taken wasn't your choice. But what happens now? That is." She pulls a dagger from her boot, spinning it between her fingers. "You're not some helpless victim. You've never backed down from him, never given him an inch." She gives me a grin. "He likes that even if he says he doesn't."

"But that's the problem." The words spill out in a rush. "Yesterday, I heard him talking to a merchant. He called me 'just some human worker' like I meant nothing. Like I was..." I swallow hard. "Like I was beneath him."

"Oh please." Raven's blade disappears back into her boot. "That oversized bird wouldn't know what to do with his feelings if they smacked him in his perfect face. Trust me, I've known him long enough."

"But-"

"No buts." She grabs my shoulders, forcing me to meet her gaze. "You think I don't see how he watches you? How his wings puff up when other males get too close or won't let you near the merchants? The idiot's territorial as hell, he just doesn't know how to handle it."

My cheeks burn. "He does not-"

"He reorganized his entire workshop after you suggested a better layout." She arches an eyebrow. "Uriel. The most stubborn xaphan I know, who once spent three days arguing about the proper angle to sharpen a blade, changed his entire system because you mentioned it might work better."

I bite my lip, remembering how he'd grumbled through the whole process but followed my suggestions exactly.

"Stop thinking about what you should do. And honestly, stop listening to Uriel. He can be an idiot, especially when it comes to talking about his feelings." Raven's voice softens. "What do you want to do?"

The answer comes before I can stop it. "I want to be here. With all of you."

The words sink in, settling deep in my chest where something unfamiliar stirs. My fingers drift to the marks on my neck, remembering how Uriel's touch had made me feel - not fragile or delicate, but desired. Powerful.

"Back home, everyone treated me like I'd break." I trace patterns in the dirt with my boot. "Even Astrid. Especially Astrid. But here..."

"Here you're thriving." Raven's violet eyes catch mine. "I've watched you in the workshop. Training with me. Putting up with Uriel. You fit in well."

"I used to think strength meant magic or fighting skills." My hand finds the inventory ledger tucked in my belt, its pages worn from constant use. "But in that workshop, I know exactly who I am. What I'm capable of."

Maybe here, I do. Even if I don't fully understand where I stand with Uriel.

Raven snorts. "You organized his chaos. Trust me, that takes more strength than wielding any weapon."

"It's not just the workshop." Heat creeps up my neck as memories of last night surface. "When I'm with him, he makes me feel..." I search for the right words. "Like I could burn down the world if I wanted to. And he'd just watch with that infuriating smirk."

"And would you?" Raven's wing brushes mine, a gentle encouragement. "Burn it all down?"

"No." The answer comes swift and sure. "I'd build something better. Something that's mine." I think of the workshop, of the careful system I've created, of the respect I've earned from suppliers who once dismissed me. "I already am."

"There she is." Raven's smile turns sharp. "The little demon who tamed the most feared weapons maker in New Solas."

"I haven't tamed him." But my protest lacks conviction.

"No." She stands, offering me her hand. "You've done something far more dangerous. You've matched him."

And maybe she's right. I act like I hate Uriel when deep down I know I don't. Maybe…he's doing the same. Like he wants me just like I want him and neither of us would say it.

Talking to Raven was definitely the right choice.

A shadow falls across the courtyard, and I look up to see Koros's massive frame blocking the sun. His mismatched eyes - one black as pitch, one molten gold - find mine as he approaches. Despite his intimidating size, there's a gentleness in the way he moves, like a predator consciously making itself less threatening.

"Thought I'd find you here." His deep voice rumbles as he settles onto the ground near our bench, his nearly-black wings folding against his back.

"We're not practicing today," I tell him, cutting a look at Raven.

He shrugs, his dark red hair falling across his scarred face. "Didn't come to practice. Had to check on my favorite human, didn't I? Make sure Uriel hasn't worked you to death yet."

Raven snorts. "Oh, he's working her alright."

"Raven!" Heat floods my cheeks.

Koros's laugh echoes across the courtyard, rich and genuine. "How are you holding up, Athena? Really?"

The concern in his voice catches me off guard. I think of Astrid, how she'd hover and protect but never really ask how I felt. How different it is here, where these fierce, deadly beings teach me to fight - but also really seem to care about me.

"I'm good." My fingers find the inventory ledger again, its familiar weight grounding me. "Better than good, actually. I know it's strange, but I feel..." I search for the right words. "I feel like I belong here."

"Nothing strange about it." Koros pulls something from his pocket - a small wrapped package that smells of sweetbread. "You've made that chaos pit of a workshop actually functional. Even got Uriel organizing his tools properly."

"He still grumbles about it." But I can't help smiling as I accept the bread.

"He grumbles about everything." Raven stretches her wings. "It's his love language."

I think about Astrid, about how happy she became with the demon who stole her away. And I miss her.

But for the first time, the thought doesn't ache like it used to. Here, between Raven's sharp wit and Koros's quiet strength, I've found something I never had before - people who don't just protect me, but believe in me.