23. Alexander

Chapter 23

Alexander

I leap out of the car, my skin slick with sweat and fear, and grab Natalya by the wrist. “Where the fuck have you been?”

She looks terrified. “I was just out for a walk,” she says.

“Do you have any idea how worried I was? Do you have no fucking clue what’s happening?”

Twenty minutes ago, I realized she was gone. I’d been so absorbed in my task that I hadn’t noticed she’d disappeared, but I lost my mind when I finally did a sweep of the apartment only to discover it was empty.

A thousand terrible thoughts ran through my head. I saw her dead in a dozen different ways, each worse than the last. And I heard the sound of the Italians laughing in my head.

Rico’s last words haunt me: They’re going for the girl too. You think she’s fucking safe? That Russian bitch left Adriano at the altar, and there’s no way we can let her keep breathing.

“Alex, your hand,” she says, sounding strangled. “You’re hurting me.”

I let her go and step back like her wrist is on fire. “Shit. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean?—“

She looks around and I realize we’re in the middle of an intersection. Nobody’s nearby, but that doesn’t guarantee nobody’s watching.

“Tell me what’s going on?”

“Get in the car and I’ll explain everything.”

She hesitates. I can tell she’s not sure. Maybe she doesn’t trust me, and I wouldn’t blame her. But then she moves around and gets in the passenger’s seat, and I climb behind the wheel feeling more relieved than I have in a long time.

I thought I’d lost her.

I steady my hands on the wheel as I drive us the short distance back to the building. Once we’re inside, I tell her about my night with Lev and about my conversation with the Italian. I don’t give her the details, but I make it clear that he threatened her life, and he really meant it.

She’s quiet once I’m done. I can tell she’s taking in what I said. Around us, my half-finished security project is scattered all over the apartment. Wires stick out from the walls. It all seems comical for some reason.

“That’s why you acme home like something bad happened last night,” she says at last.

“I didn’t want to scare you.”

“Peeling out in front of me and assaulting me in the street probably wasn’t the most calming way to handle things, if I’m honest.”

I grimace slightly and put one fist in my other palm. “You’re right. I saw you missing, and I just thought the worst had happened. I was so angry and relieved when I spotted you on the sidewalk that I just?—“

“Freaked out? Acted like an asshole?”

“Expressed myself in an aggressive manner.”

She snorts and smiles slightly. “Yeah, that’s a good way of saying it.” She gestures at the boxes and sensors waiting to be installed. “I guess now I know why you’re doing all this.”

“It’s for your safety.”

“I’m not exactly sure how safe I’m feeling right now, but—“ She blows out a breath. “Thanks. I guess. Just maybe start doing construction jobs at a more reasonable hour.”

“Seven is reasonable. I’ve been up since four-thirty.”

“How do you function like that?”

“Willpower.”

She rolls her eyes. “Amazing. You’re like superman, but een more annoying somehow.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“It’s not meant as one.” She gets up and paces away. I watch as she turns back to loo kat me. “I made a friend today. She’s this old woman named Pattie who owns a music shop near here.”

“I know the place. I’ve never been inside though.”

“She’s nice. She’s got a piano I can play and she invited me to one of t heir private concerts.”

I let out a low rumble from my throat. “Natalya…”

“I know what you’re going to say.” She screws up her face and does an extremely unflattering impression of me. “ It is much too dangerous. You need to stay here in this high-tech fortress where you will be safe, but also mindlessly bored .”

“That’s about right.”

“I can’t do that. I can’t spend my entire pregnancy here.”

“If things go right, it won’t be that long.”

“That’s not as comforting as you might think. And don’t stay saying it’s for my own protection. I need this, Alex. I need to be able to play, or else?—“

She looks small and drawn. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her this way before, except maybe for those first few moments back in Paris when she didn’t know I was looking. She seemed drawn into herself, like she’d made herself smaller somehow.

That’s how she looks now. Like she’s pulling inward and away from me. Her eyes are wide and her skin’s pale, and I’m afraid that if I don’t reach out to her, she’ll disappear somewhere I can’t follow.

“Let me think about it,” I tell her. She doesn’t look happy about that. “I know it isn’t enough right now, but let me think of a way to make it reasonably safe, alright?”

“Are you actually going to or is this your way of putting me off?”

“I do what I say I’m going to do.”

Her posture relaxes somewhat, but she still seems lost. “Well, that’s the first thing I actually believe today. I’m going for a swim.”

She walks off. I let her go. I doubt I’ll be able to do much good for her.

This is a tricky situation. The Italians are likely going to start watching this location. I could move us to a safe house, but that’d only be temporary, and I worry that it won’t be as comfortable for Natalya and the baby. The security system is one step, and it’s a decent solution, but I need more.

And she’s right. She can’t be stuck in the apartment for the next nine months.

I get back to finishing the security install as I turn the problem over in my head, trying to find a way to give her what she wants while also making sure she’s protected.