INDIGO

Natasha Kovak is the daughter of Banta City’s biggest power player. She never goes anywhere without two SUVs filled with black-suited, heavily armed security. Since she married Bear, they’ve had a small army of men prowling around their property. Normally, I can’t get through the security gate without showing my ID.

This time, Siobhan leans around my arm and smiles at the emotionless man at the gate. “I’m here to see my bestie.”

The man doesn’t react to her words except to wave us through the gates. Siobhan doesn’t seem bothered by the security. She slides off my hog and smiles at me. Before I can climb off the motorcycle, she plants a wet kiss on my lips. Instantly, my dick reminds me how good Siobhan felt that night at the clubhouse. We can be together now. I don’t have to punish it any longer.

I want to punch the damn thing for constantly distracting me. I nearly do when the front door opens and lures Siobhan’s lips from mine.

“We have two cats,” Jacinda announces to Siobhan as if this is new information. “They are silly.”

“You are silly,” Siobhan says and pokes Jacinda’s belly before doing the same to her younger brother.

The kids take Siobhan’s hands and tug her into the house. Hector looks back and says my name. I smile at how he’s getting closer to saying it right.

Following them, I walk past the young Czech nanny who is always around yet I’ve never heard speak.

Inside the large, masculine house, Bear kneels next to the multi-colored cats and gives them affection. Bear stands when he sees me. His sly grin makes me think he’s about to tease me over Siobhan.

“Kids, take Siobhan to see your mom.”

“She’s got a baby in her belly,” Jacinda tells Siobhan. “It’s my sister, and she’s a giant.”

Siobhan snickers at that last part as she follows the kids out of the room. The nanny hurries after them, leaving me alone with Bear and his two cats.

“I assume your date went well since you aren’t hiding in the hills. ”

“Yeah, it went well. We picked up stuff for the dogs today, so they can stay over at Siobhan’s place.”

“Already moving in, huh?” Bear says and strokes his dark beard. “I get it. Once I could be with Natasha, I wasn’t interested in space.”

“I haven’t been around the twins yet. Or tested how the dogs will act at her place. I also haven’t talked to Sync.”

“You just can’t help thinking about negative shit, can you?”

“You’re one of the most negative people I’ve ever known.”

“Yeah, but I’m trying to be more optimistic,” Bear says, smiling big before shrugging. “Or at least, I’m learning to fake it better. Natasha likes to think positive. The kids are always happy. I don’t want to be the only asshole in the house.”

Grinning, I remember how Bear often sulked around the clubhouse after Natasha ran off. He knew he had gotten so close to claiming a great woman. Once he fucked up, there was no going back. Except he was wrong. Just like I was after I fucked up my first time with Siobhan.

“Be honest,” I say and lower my voice as I scan the room for eavesdroppers. “Do you think a man like me, with my hangups and past and shit, do you think I can be a good husband and father? Is that just a pipedream I’m nursing?”

“I don’t like kids,” Bear says, staring me in the eye. “I don’t hate them, but I didn’t want them. With Natasha, though, I want everything. I think that’s the key. Not who you are or where you’ve been. It comes down to how much you’re willing to change for the right person.”

“I’d give up everything for Siobhan,” I say without shame. “Today, when we were hanging out and shopping, was the most fun I’ve had since I was a little kid.”

Bear grins. “I know you’re fucked up in here,” he says and taps my head. “But I don’t think you’re as fucked up as I am. I’m bitchy about my personal space. But you like being around people. Even when we were asshole teenagers, you were always good about helping out Aunt Fred. It’s your nature to get close to people. You loved your mom, even though she was nuts. You loved your brother, even after he went away. You have a good heart. There’s no reason you can’t be a good dad and husband.”

“Wait, are we talking marriage already?” Tack asks from the doorway .

Hunter smiles at me and says, “I assume the girls are holed up somewhere talking about Siobhan’s vagina.”

Bear and Tack chuckle while I fall into my habit of feeling weird about Siobhan and sex.

Hunter heads toward the back of the house where Siobhan and Natasha are talking. Bear guides Tack and me into the kitchen and offers tea.

“It’s a Czech thing,” he explains. “The nanny made it for us. I hated it the first time I tried it, but the flavor grew on me.”

“Why did you try it a second time if you didn’t like it the first time?” Tack asks him.

“I saw Natasha and the kids drinking it and felt left out.”

Tack nods. “I didn’t want to live in the gothic mansion, but Hunter fell in love with the damn place. Now it feels like home. No harm in trying new shit.”

The men nod at his words before they look at me. I stare right back at them. No one wants to look away. After an extended staring contest, we’re interrupted by Hector wandering over and wanting up.

Bear lifts the boy into his arms. “Are you tired?”

“I don’t want a nap,” he says and yawns before patting Bear’s face. “You need a nap.”

“What are their names?” Bear asks and points at Tack and me. After Hector mangles both attempts, Bear laughs and asks, “Why do you make their names sound so weird?”

Throwing his little arms in the air, he cries, “I don’t know!”

Hector laughs at Bear’s amusement before yawning and resting his head on his new dad’s shoulder. “I don’t want a nap.”

“If you take one, you’ll be ready to play later.”

As Hector looks at Tack and me, I try to imagine myself holding a four-year-old. I’ve been around kids all my life, but I haven’t cuddled with any of them since Bubby.

Watching Hector doze in Bear’s arms makes me anxious to see my kid. All my fears feel less important than having the baby in my arms.

Tack smiles at Bear before chuckling. “Months ago, Indigo asked me what would happen if your baby with Natasha wasn’t as good as this one and his sister.”

As Bear focuses his frown on me, I explain, “Hector and Jacinda are fun kids. They’re pretty, too. What if this new one is born with your giant Bear head instead of a cute Natasha head? ”

Tack howls with laughter, making Hector smile.

Bear touches his head as if sizing it. “There’s nothing wrong with my head.”

“It’ll look weird on a baby.”

“Well, yeah, but so would Natasha’s head. We’re adults,” he grumbles before getting pissed and pointing at me. “My daughter’s head looked fine in the ultrasounds.”

“The baby is a giant,” Hector mumbles as he hides his sleepy eyes against Bear’s neck.

Tack decides to keep poking at our friend by stating, “Because the baby inherited her head size from Natasha. Thank God, too.”

“Your girl might be a fucking weirdo.”

Tack immediately shakes his head. “No. She’s going to be really cute.”

“When can I find out if my baby is a girl or a boy?” I ask, ignoring how they torment each other. “Siobhan said it’s too early to go to the doctor.”

“You’ve got to wait for a few months,” Tack says, being helpful now that he’s riled up Bear. “We just found out with our girl, and there’s a chance she has a wiener hiding somewhere. We’ll have another ultrasound closer to the end.”

“We had our last ultrasound a few weeks ago,” Bear mutters. “The doctor thinks Natasha will need a C-section.”

“How come?” Tack asks, wearing a smirk like he knows the answer.

Bear grumbles under his breath as he goes to the fridge to get a tea refill. I hear him bitch about Tack and doctors and how his daughter isn’t a giant.

“Why are you making him grouchy?” I ask Tack.

“A few days ago, Bear texted me a picture of a ginger baby with devil horns.”

“Don’t do that with me,” I tell Tack and then glance at Bear who only controls his temper on account of the boy dozing in his arms. “I don’t want pictures of my baby looking weird or jokes about how my baby isn’t any good. Don’t encourage me to worry about ugly shit.”

When the men stare at me, I figure we’re getting into another staring constant. Instead, Tack nods and looks at Bear.

“Your daughter might be big, but she’s healthy. ”

“And your daughter might have red hair, but she’ll be beautiful.”

“You can’t tell on the ultrasounds about hair color, right?” I ask.

“No, but the red hair gene is strong in the Knutsen family,” Tack says. “I’ll be a little disappointed if my kid isn’t a ginger.”

“It’s weird to think how we’ll all have babies in a year,” Bear says and shakes his head.

Bear’s words cut through the dark cloud I wrap around my life. I hadn’t been sure about coming here today and having everyone judge me for wanting Siobhan. I felt like putting everything out in the open would end things between her and me. Instead, talking openly about my feelings with my best friends makes everything real in a new way.