Chapter 4

Dinner with my parents is always fun. I know several kids don’t like dining with their family as they grow older, but not me. I love my folks, and I enjoy their company.

They’re also the reason why I don’t do casual relationships or hook-ups. I see how they are with each other and wish for something like that for myself.

Throughout dinner, however, my mind kept straying to Alec. Was I just physically attracted to him? Sure. Maybe. But I never had a problem keeping my wits about me when it came to guys. With Alec, it was like I turned into a different person—someone desperate for his attention and touch.

I was so preoccupied with how I behaved around him—even if he didn’t mention it during breakfast the next day—that I didn”t notice the number of glasses I had.

When my parents drop me off at the apartment, I’m already swaying sideways. They’re a bit worried, but I assure them I can go up on my own. I don’t want Mom to see the broken elevator because she’ll definitely pack my bags and take me somewhere else … somewhere away from Alec.

Dad offers to take me to my unit, but I refuse. He’s more protective than Mom, and if he sees all the things that need improvement—and there’s a lot—he’ll most likely call the landlord and give a lengthy discussion about how it’s unsafe for a young woman like me.

After some explaining and using my birthday to convince them that I can go up by myself, they finally leave … but only once I call them that I’m inside my apartment.

I’m not. The stairs sway under my feet, and I have to crawl like a hefty reptile, clinging to the handrail as if it’s my lifeline. Thank goodness no one else is around. If Alec sees me like this, I swear I’m moving in the morning. Attraction be damned.

The stairs stretch out before me, and I wonder if the world will ever stop spinning faster and faster. It feels like hours, but at last, I reach my floor. Still clutching onto the handrail, I lift myself to my feet and blink several times.

Everything is still a bit out of focus, but at least it’s just a few doors more and I can finally rest.

My steps are unsteady and uneven. I consider it a win that I no longer feel like I’m in a moving ship. Standing in front of my door, I fish out my keycard from my pocket and swipe it. It beeps but there’s no audible click. I try again and again.

None.

I rattle the knob and slam my palm against the door. Promising myself I won’t drink again even if it’s with my parents, I kick the door and lower myself to the floor. Exhaustion pulls at me, and suddenly, sleeping here doesn’t sound too bad. What’s the worst that can happen? A neighbor reporting me? Pfft. I’d report the landlord himself for false advertisement.

I start to lie down when the door swings open. The harsh glare of the light streaming behind someone casts his or her face into shadow. My eyes squint at the shadowy outline.

“Who are you?” My voice comes out in a squeak. I need water because my throat feels like I swallowed sand. “Why are you inside m-my a-apartment?”

“Zara?”

That sobers me up a little. Hell, no. I know that voice. I lift myself on my elbows and continue to stare at the shadow. “Alec? Why are you here?”

“I live here.”

I start to shake my head, but it makes me nauseous, so I clutch both sides and breathe slowly. “No, you don’t. This is my unit.”

He doesn’t answer. He gives me his hand, and I reach out, his fingers wrapping around mine. The feel of his skin has the sweet ache between my thighs pulsing with need. So I guess I’m not just drunk, but horny too.

When I can clearly see his face, I see him casting me an amused glance.

Realization and horror dawn on me. Unceremoniously shoving him to the side, I look at the apartment number on the door and groan. Why? Why must I always make a spectacle of myself?

“Oh my God. I am so sorry, Alec.”

I somehow find the need to make him understand I didn’t do this on purpose, so I clutch his shirt and lean all the way into him, shaking him. “It’s my birthday, and I went to dinner with my parents, who are always fun to be around. The cocktails were so good that I completely lost track of how much I drank. Anyway, my parents were there, so I didn’t feel unsafe and thought it was okay to get shit-faced. This is my first time, by the way. I rarely drink. I swear to you. I was okay when I left, but when the car hit a bump in the road, the alcohol hit me all at once. The elevator is still busted, so I crawled my way up.”

I tilt my head back to make sure I’m seeing correctly—Alec’s shoulders are shaking, and he’s pressing a clenched fist on his mouth. “Wait, are you laughing at me?”

He swallows his laughter and snaps his mouth shut. “No. Happy birthday, Zara. I’d invite you in, but my place is a mess.”

I have never sobered up so fast in my life. It’s like the alcohol from my blood just evaporated. Yet my brain still feels like sludge. “It’s fine. Sorry for disturbing you. Goodnight, Alec.”

Whirling around, I press my palms against my face, wishing the ground would swallow me whole. There are numbers on every door. How could I have missed them?

Alec’s footsteps echo behind me, and the next minute, he’s walking beside me. “I’ll walk you to your place.”

I wave him off. “No need. I promise I can find my way down. That embarrassing scene in front of your door is enough to sober me up.” Trying to defuse the weird atmosphere, I chuckle nervously and smack him playfully on the arm, belatedly realizing I just made things more awkward.

Shit.

Alec doesn’t say anything, just continues to walk beside me. The awareness of his nearness threatens to suffocate me, and I have to lock my arms in to avoid reaching out and slipping an arm through his.

I thought of you today, Alec.

“Did you, now?”

I whip my head to him, my vision swimming again. Oh, shit. I just said that out loud. My hand flies to my mouth, and I mentally punch myself. What is wrong with me? I have never been this clumsy, awkward girl who blushes each time her crush glances her way. Yet, that’s exactly how I’m acting. He probably thinks I kicked his door on purpose to get his attention.

His fingers graze my arm, and goosebumps pepper my skin, burning where he touches me. When I turn to him, his face darkens. “What did you think about me, Zara?”

My heartbeat sounds so loud, and it’s the only thing I can hear. His mouth looks so tempting and sweet, and the desperate longing shocks me to my core. I need him to kiss me. I need it like oxygen.

I don’t even notice we’re already on my floor.

He hooks his finger under my chin to tilt my face. “Zara? Cat got your tongue? You had so much to say a while ago.” His voice drops an octave and turns gravelly.

I rub my thighs together, seeking friction. My body begins moving on its own, and my fingers touch the scar on his hairline. “Does this still hurt?”

Alec snaps his eyes shut, a muscle ticking in his jaw. “No.”

“Who did this to you?”

He lets out a harsh breath. “Someone bad.”

“Then, I hope he suffers.”

“He will. I’ll make sure he will.” For a moment, his face transforms into someone I almost don’t recognize. His eyes flare with something like burning hatred, but he quickly catches himself and wipes it off. He gives me an apologetic smile. “Good night, Zara. Happy birthday again.”

He turns to leave, but I grab his arm. I don’t know what I’m doing. All I know is I have to try and see if this magnetic attraction is one way. Besides, I saw a crack in his armor even for just a split second, and I wanted to see if I could break those walls down.

Summoning every courage I have, I grab his shirt, stand on my toes, and press my mouth to his.