Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

Michael

"Remind me again why I'm sitting in the woods in the middle of fucking winter?"

I look over at Kaleb with a raised brow. "You're standing."

My brother huddles further into his black jacket. "I wouldn't know. I can't feel my fucking legs."

For the first time in weeks, a laugh bubbles out of me. "We've only been out here for like an hour."

"An hour too long," he complains. "Why can't you just take a page from our older brother's book and take her home with you?"

"She doesn't even know I exist, Kaleb."

"And?" He shrugs, like that fact has no bearing on the matter at all . . . and I guess it doesn't. Given our family history, it is a weak argument, but it's all I have right now. Well, all I'm willing to say out loud anyway.

The memory of how Charlie, my older brother's wife, came to be a part of our family almost two years ago fills me with warmth and want. Not because it was the last time I killed and not even because we were forced to miss our annual kill night last year but because it was the night my brother gained a partner, someone he can call his own and share his life with.

Someone who loves him for all that he is . . . his demons and his darkness.

I want that.

I want to share my life with someone who knows me, who loves me in a way that my family can't.

Someone who is just mine. But it's not meant to be, not for me.

I give Kaleb a dark look before turning my back and walking away. "I can't have that kind of life with someone. I'm not made for it."

"Why the fuck not?" I don't need to turn to see the irritation on his face. "We're all damaged, Michael. All of us. The shit we went through before the Cromwells took us in . . ." I hear his coat rustle as he shrugs. "But Daniel showed us we can be different. Have a part of our lives that's almost . . . normal." He whispers the last word, and I turn to look at my baby brother. "Can't we?" he asks quietly.

The look on his face tears at my heart.

His gray eyes, so different from Daniel's green and my blue, show his pain. Hate fills me for our shitty birth parents who made us this way. At least I had Daniel to protect and love me the best he could. Kaleb was alone before joining us at the Cromwell's.

I make my way over to him and grip the back of his neck as he hangs his head, and I find myself wishing, not for the first time, that I could pull him in for a hug.

But I just can't.

I shake at the thought of another body touching mine so fully. Instead, I squeeze tighter, hoping Kaleb won't feel the panic coursing through my body.

"You are the most hard-working man I've ever known, Kaleb. You can do anything you set your mind to. Have anything you want," I tell him.

"Not anything," he murmurs, his head still bent.

I don't correct him because who am I to argue? Sitting in the middle of the fucking woods, we're waiting for my girl to run past because although I can't talk to her, I'll die before I let anything happen to her.

Kaleb sniffs loudly, wiping his face with his coat sleeve. "Maybe you could explain. If she's as sweet as you say, she'll understand."

I chuckle softly. "Oh yeah, how's that going to go? Hey Lara, I want you to be my wife and the mother of my kids, but you can't touch me, and the only way we can fuck is from behind with your hands restrained?"

"Women like kinky shit." He grins.

"Women like your kinky shit," I correct .

Is he right?

I've fucked plenty of women. They don't seem to mind the commands and even enjoy it. But there's a big difference in one night and forever.

That's what it would be. One taste of her and I would demand forever.

I can't do that to her. I won't.

"Guess we'll both have to live through Daniel, then." Kaleb shrugs.

For now, a small voice whispers at the back of my mind.

The sound of foliage crunching under fast-moving feet reaches us a moment later.

She's here at six-thirty as always. Same time, same path, every day no matter what.

I wonder again if her running is an obsession or a compulsion.

Kaleb and I both crouch slowly, blending into our surroundings before she can see us.

Silently, we watch as Lara runs past, her movements strong and steady, like those of a confident runner.

My eyes roam over her, drinking her in as thoroughly as I can. Her long legs take her past us quickly.

She's barely out of sight before I follow. Keeping my distance, I don't bother to check if Kaleb follows. I know he is.

Like myself, his footsteps stay silent to Lara's ears, the sounds of our feet hiding under hers. Together, we match her stride .

Pride fills me at her speed. Not only is she a regular runner but she's also adept at it. Although at six foot four, I have no issue keeping up.

Thoughts of what us running together could be like tease me. Would she get mad that I slowed down for her or frustrated that I'm faster?

Never going to happen, asshole.

I follow her, watching and protecting, with my brother at my side, his words ringing in my ears.

She's wrapped up more this morning. The wind is biting and bitter. My tongue twitches with the need to reprimand her that the light jacket isn't enough. I want to dive into her life and take over every aspect, to protect and love her like only I can.

Images of Lara in my arms, round with my child and a diamond on her finger, make my cock twitch.

Arousal and sadness war within me. The knowledge of what I want and what I can have spars in my mind.

"You can't have everything you want, Michael. Sometimes in life, you just have to put up with what you have. Now stop crying and go wash your face before your brother comes back. I don't need him and your daddy fighting again."

My birth mother might have been a bitch that they should have sterilized in early adulthood, but she was right about one thing . . . we can't have everything we want.

My mood continues to sour the more we trail Lara.

I'm literally chasing my dream, and it's draining every part of me. That is probably why my brother offered to spend his one day off this week getting up at the crack of dawn and guarding a woman who doesn't even know I exist.

I glance over at him, and Kaleb gives me an encouraging smile.

We keep pace through the woods, along the edge of town, and onto Ellis Road. The same route as always.

Same time, same route.

Hell, she's never once looked behind her since I started running with her. No self-preservation.

At least she doesn't wear her headphones every day. I roll my eyes.

My palm itches with the need to correct her reckless behavior. My girl has zero thought for her own safety. Something that will have to change. I just need to find a way to do it without her knowing it's me.

Kaleb and I continue between the thick trees, using the large trunks for cover. Not that we need to since Lara is oblivious to her surroundings.

In need of a good spanking and some firm rules.

The idea of someone else . . . of another man being the one to have that pleasure makes my stomach roil.

Distracted, I slow my feet to a walk. It doesn't take long for Kaleb to notice. He looks back at me and does a double take, worry rolling over his face when he sees mine.

"What's wrong?" he pants out .

"You mean other than you needing to step up your cardio?"

"I get enough cardio with the ladies." He winks.

I scrunch my face at that unwanted visual. "Thank you for that."

"You're welcome. Now, what's wrong?" he asks again, and I know he won't let it go until I tell him.

With a heavy sigh, I scrub at my face. "I don't know how long I can keep doing this," I tell him honestly. "She's out here running by herself. She hasn't looked behind her even once since we joined her run," I rage, flinging an arm in her direction. After licking my bottom lip, I drag it into my mouth and bite to stop anything else from spilling out.

It's not Lara I'm mad at . . . Okay, so maybe a little, but I'm the real problem. I'm the reason we can't be together. My issues are what's ruining what could have been.

This is killing me. The idea of never being with her and always watching from afar is gut-wrenching, and I'm not sure how much longer I can hold out.

"Want to stop in Duke's and grab a bite to eat?" he asks, nodding at the gas station just ahead. His mouth twitches left to right, like he wants to say something more but isn't quite sure of what to say.

Kaleb's not used to seeing me this wound up. No one is. I don't get unsettled.

Not before her.

Now, it feels like my whole world is tilting, and I'm just waiting for it to fall from beneath my feet .

But I don't say that. Instead, I nod and give my baby brother a small, grateful smile.

"I'll meet you out front with food. Can't promise I won't eat yours too, though. Judy's breakfast burgers are my current favorite meal. Duke got damn lucky marrying her. Ten years younger, and her hubby would have had some competition."

I stop sharp and throw my head back with a laugh. "That's why you joined me this morning? To come get fucking breakfast."

He gives me a wide grin.

"Little shit," I call over, shaking my head. "I'm glad you did."

"Me too."

Just as I leave, I shout back, "I'm going to tell Duke you want to steal his wife."

Kaleb gives a careless shrug as he steps out of the tree line and onto the gas station parking lot. "Go ahead. He'll tell Judy, and she'll probably give me an extra burger."

I don't bother saying anything else because who can argue with that? Instead, I pick up speed as I round the back of the building, desperate to catch up and get another glimpse of Lara.

It takes a few minutes, but when I do, all worry melts away, and I let my mind go, just breathing in the fresh, crisp winter air.

My girl and I enjoy the end of our run together, even if she doesn't know it.