Chapter 11

Eleven

The outside of the circus tent has red and white stripes, but the inside is uninterrupted black. As I step through the entrance and into the crowd, I can't help but take in the full audience. People fill the stands, vying for the best seat with many of them standing since it's so packed. Children and adults alike clap and laugh at the clowns currently frolicking around the arena, bashing each other over the head and pretending to play tricks on each other. There are three different clowns, and their masks are a little less creepy than the ones the guys wear, but not by much. Still, the audience seems to be eating it up.

It feels more like a nightmare circus than anything else, but like the crowd, I can't look away.

"Come this way," someone says to my right.

When I glance over, I find Club dressed in an outfit far different than anything I've seen him in before. Tonight, he's shirtless, his muscles on full display. Though he's smaller than the others, it's not by much. I drag my gaze up his torso and find him watching me with a patient look. My cheeks heat as I hurry toward him, and he leads me to a seat in the very front. Club sits me down with a stay gesture before disappearing again, leaving me to watch the show.

The lights dim and then go out suddenly, as if they had been waiting for my arrival. I hear people around me gasp in surprise. Their excitement is palpable, filling the air with tension that has my heart racing. The atmosphere at Cirque Obscurum is like nothing I have ever felt. It's as if the darkness calls to you, whispering your most illicit desires, and you can act on them here. I clench my fingers against my thighs to stop myself from reaching into the darkness, and instead, I sit back, eager to watch the show after so long. I hope it's just as good as I remember.

A single spotlight illuminates the stage, and I watch as Diamond appears from the shadows, stepping into the bright light where he very clearly belongs. Tonight, he's dressed like any respectable ringmaster. He's wearing a bright red brocade coat, the tails of it brushing the backs of his thighs, and his pants are black and look like leather, the same as his boots. On his head is a black top hat, which is trimmed with red and gold. My eyes linger on the diamond card stuck in the band. He allows the crowd to observe him for a moment, a knowing smirk tilting his lips at the screams and claps, and when it fades, he speaks.

"Ladies and gentlemen," he begins as the crowd quiets down, hanging on his every word. "Heathens and monsters. Tonight, you will see acts of bravery and foolishness. You'll watch as we dance with danger and invite you to join. Cirque Obscurum is no ordinary circus." He smiles, but it's sinister and seems to reach into my chest and grip my heart. "This is where monsters come to play." He strolls over to the crowd, choosing a young woman who sits three people over from me. The spotlight follows him as he moves. The woman is enraptured as he leans down and tips her chin up. "Tell me your nightmares," he says into the mic, his voice so sultry even I lean forward as he plays his role. He's sensual, mysterious, and menacing. I clench my legs together as he waits for her answer. His entire focus is on her as she blinks up at him in shock before seeming to wake from the spell he's weaving around her.

She grimaces and glances at someone on her right, a friend I assume. There's a whole group of them together. "Spiders," she answers.

Diamond nods and releases her. "Spiders!" he announces for everyone to hear. The lights shift, and shadows begin to crawl along the big top—thousands of spiders, the scuttling noise making my skin crawl. The woman screams, along with a few others in the crowd, and Diamond laughs.

The sound is so carefree and sinister, goose bumps erupt on my skin.

"Spiders are not monsters," he says, reaching his hand up. As if by magic, a tarantula suddenly appears in his hand. "They are great companions." He smiles down at the woman. "And they eat bugs." She shrinks away when he holds his hand out toward her, and the tarantula reaches out with furry legs. Then, with a movement of his hand, it's gone. Everyone gasps. The woman claps as the spider shadows disappear, her heart probably beating hard in her chest, but it is all an act. It's okay now.

Diamond glances at me suddenly, a slight arch of his brow the indication of his acknowledgement before he turns back to the center of the arena, but that one look leaves me breathless. "Are you ready to be on the edge of your seats?" Cheers erupt around me. "I can't hear you!" It turns into a roar, and he grins. "Very well. Then let the show begin." He bows, still wearing that wicked smile. "And welcome to Cirque Obscurum."

The lights plunge us into darkness once again, and when they come on, Club stands in the center as intense music begins to play. He stands next to a display of swords, his eyes hard as he looks around at the audience.

"What I'm about to do is very dangerous," he declares. "Sword swallowing is not for the faint of heart."

I lean forward as he pulls a sword from the display. Surely it can't be sharp, not if he's going to swallow it. Of course, as if everyone has the same thought, Club grins. "You all think this sword is fake, do you not?" There are some affirmations from the crowd, a few jests and jeers. "Shall I prove its sharpness?"

Someone rolls a table out laden with small fruits and vegetables—apples, oranges, and even cabbage. He picks up an apple and tosses it in the air. He moves so quickly, I barely notice him doing so, but I do see the two halves of the apple clatter to the tabletop just as everyone else does. I gasp right along with them. He does the same with an orange and finally with the cabbage, proving without a doubt that the sword is not only real but incredibly sharp.

"One wrong move and I could shred my insides," he says, turning back to the crowd. "I can't make any mistakes."

His eyes meet mine in the crowd as he lifts the sword to his lips and licks the edge of it. His gaze doesn't move from mine as he does so, and my heart clenches. It shouldn't be as sexy as it is, but I can't help the excitement that floods my veins as he gets to the tip and positions the sword above him. He tips his head back, exposing the full column of his throat. The music rises before he slowly slides the sword into his mouth and down. The crowd gasps and oohs and aahs as it sinks to the hilt, and then he bends awkwardly forward into a bow, his eyes meeting mine again with the sword sticking from his mouth. When he straightens and carefully pulls it from his throat, the crowd erupts with cheers before the lights go black.

"Our sword master, ladies and gentlemen. Don't let his pretty exterior fool you, he'll cut you if you let him." A chuckle fills the air along with Diamond's voice as he carries on. "Some might call beasts and monsters the same thing, but they would be very, very wrong."

The lights come on once more, and a tiger sits in the center of the arena, free of chains or cage. Panic erupts around me as people scramble back. The tiger just watches us all curiously. Spade suddenly appears from the darkness, dressed in fitted pants and nothing else. Even his feet are bare.

"This is Freedom," he says as he lays a hand on her head. "She doesn't like cages, so pardon me if we perform this act without one." The crowd settles, but many still push backwards in an attempt to put distance between them. "Tigers are a beautiful species. They are capable of great harm, but in the end, they want what we all want." He lets his words hang for a moment before he nods. "To be free."

The tiger stands and circles Spade, her eyes on him as he moves his arms.

"The trick to beasts is you must respect them," Spade says as Freedom comes up and nudges her head against his hip. "If you don't respect them, they won't respect you." Freedom stands on her hind legs, putting her paws on Spade's shoulders. His muscles bunch under her weight, and the crowd claps. "Can you believe these beautiful creatures are headed for extinction because of humans?" he asks, his eyes hardening beneath the light. "Tell me, who is the monster? The creature trying to survive or the human who kills the creature for sport?"

Freedom leaps from his shoulders and sprints toward the crowd on the other side. She stops just before them as they scramble backward and roars so loudly that most of the crowd covers their ears. Spade points in the other direction, right at me. He looks down his arm at me, meeting my eyes, wearing a smile on his face. Freedom sprints toward me, the crowd around me scrambling back, but I don't move. I meet the tiger's eyes as she comes to a stop right before me and roars. I don't know if this is a test or not, but I take it as one. Freedom chuffs in my face, and instinct has me raising my hand.

Someone behind me screams, "No!"

Another panics and tells his wife they are leaving, but I pay them no mind. I slowly raise my hand and place it against Freedom's head despite the baring of her teeth. The moment my hand touches her fur, she pushes her head against me like a cat and chuffs again.

"Respect," Spade says as he comes to stand beside Freedom. "It's the most important thing in the jungle." He lays his hand against Freedom's back, and she turns away from me to follow Spade. "But tigers aren't the only beasts here, just as I'm not the only monster." More lights come on, and all kinds of animals appear from the edges—dogs, horses, a goat, a macaw in vibrant colors, and lots of small animals. An elephant strides through the tent flaps, its large feet moving carefully around the smaller animals. A camel trots in last, its annoyed expression telling me he doesn't want to be here. I watch a show of amazing, impossible tricks that I never could have imagined animals were capable of. One dog walks on a tightrope, perfectly balanced, and the elephant stands on its hind legs with Spade perched on its front leg. The macaw performs aerial tricks and even flies through a flaming hoop. By the end of the act, I'm clapping and shouting in excitement with everyone else.

"Remember, always respect animals," Spade says into the microphone, but his expression turns dark, "or they'll eat you the first chance they get."

Spade bows and runs out of the arena, all the animals following after him, his threat lingering in the air. It feels intentional, and somehow, I almost believe the animals know exactly what he's saying as they make their final rounds and exit through the same tent flap Spade did.

Diamond appears again, his top hat a little crooked.

"Have you seen any monsters yet?" The crowd erupts with their answer. "Yes? Well, you haven't even seen the worst of us," he muses before slowly looking up.

A spotlight appears, showcasing Heart in all his glory above us. He wears tight pants again and nothing else as he balances on a thin ladder. I'd always been enamored with the trapeze artists as a child. As an adult, I can't help but get to my feet with the rest of the crowd.

"We don't believe in cages here at Cirque Obscurum, and we also don't believe in nets," Diamond says, his eyes on Heart. "What's more exciting than the risk of falling?"

My heart drops as Heart launches himself from the small platform and swings from one side to the other. When he releases it and twists in the air before grabbing another bar, I scream with everyone else. He moves beautifully, like a butterfly, gliding easily from bar to bar until more trapeze artists join him, and they put on a real show. I watch him, captivated, as he performs. At some point, his fingers miss one of the bars, and I scream with everyone else as he falls before catching himself on another post. He turns and grins at the crowd, laughing as if he weren't close to dying. I realize it's all part of the act when the other performers continue as usual. Heart catches my eye and winks at me as he climbs higher again, continuing his act.

The show is a beautiful, thrilling display of circus performances. Every single audience member is entertained throughout the evening. When it all comes to an end, I sigh sadly like everyone else. I could watch the performance over and over again and be just as amazed every time.

Diamond comes out one final time, and all the performers stand by his side. Spade has the macaw on his shoulder, the bird sitting peacefully despite the roar of the crowd. Heart is happily wiping sweat from his chest, a grin on his face as he waves to the crowd. Club stands stoically, his hands folded primly behind his back.

"That's the end for now," Diamond announces. "Cirque Obscurum thanks you for your attendance. When you start to miss us and the thrill of the cirque, remember, your nightmares are sacred, and you'll find us waiting in them." Diamond throws his arms wide to the roar of the crowd, and the lights go out. When lights turn on for the crowd to exit, they are gone, leaving behind nothing but the mystery.

I remain in my seat, watching as the crowd disappears through the tent flaps. Once everyone is gone, they come back out.

Heart grins. "What did you think, Queen?"

"Magnificent. Beautiful," I gush, grinning. "Just as magical as when I was a little girl. You had me going there for a minute."

He winks. "All part of the act. However, you petting Freedom wasn't. Such a brave little queen."

Spade stares at me. "That was awfully dangerous of you. She could have taken your hand."

"I've spent a good portion of my life being afraid and careful," I say as I meet his eyes. "I think it's time I start to live a little. Don't you?"

Diamond snorts. "I agree. Tomorrow, you'll start looking for your place here." He helps me to my feet with my crutches. "For now, you should go back and rest."

"Shouldn't I help clean up?" I don't want them to think I can't pull my weight here.

"In time," he replies. "First, you heal, but your eagerness to take part is appreciated, darkling." He nods to Spade. "Help her get back. I have to take care of a few things."

That night, my dreams are full of circus acts and being part of them, of Heart sweeping down and lifting me into the air, Spade balancing me on one of his horses, and Club licking knives before they fly toward me. Eventually, I don't dream at all, and it's the best sleep I've had in years.