Chapter 5

“This seems a very comfortable house,” Darcy said to Mrs. Gardiner, and Bingley hastily turned toward Miss Bennet, whose beautiful countenance was downcast, and her blue eyes fixed on her own delicate hands. Bingley was grateful for his friend’s willingness to engage their hostess, but Darcy was never a loquacious man, and if his conversation with Miss Bennet’s aunt bogged down quickly, Bingley would need to leap in and assist.

“Miss Bennet,” he said, “please allow me to apologize for my dreadful behavior. I had no idea you were in London and would have called on you many weeks ago if I had been informed.”

Jane’s cheeks flushed a little at these words, but she still refused to meet his eyes, instead shaking her head and saying, “Indeed, sir, it is I who should apologize to you. I presumed too much on our acquaintance and know better now.”

“You did not presume too much,” Bingley insisted, his voice rising in his distress. He cast a worried glance toward Darcy and Mrs. Gardiner, and was relieved to observe that they were speaking with surprising ease.

“You did not presume anything,” he continued, softly but passionately. “I … I admired you tremendously, Miss Bennet, indeed, I … I love you.”

At this, Jane turned to face him, her blue eyes boring accusingly into his own. “You love me? That seems quite impossible, Mr. Bingley, for you left Hertfordshire without a word of farewell, and your sister informed me that you were pursuing Miss Darcy as a bride. Indeed…”

“Miss Darcy?” Bingley interrupted incredulously, and again glanced nervously toward Darcy who was, fortunately, distracted by the entrance of a maid with the tea tray. Mrs. Gardiner poured tea and distributed it, which allowed Bingley to gather his thoughts. Once Darcy and Mrs. Gardiner were engaged in conversation again, he turned toward Miss Bennet and said, “I assure you that I have no interest or thought in marrying Miss Darcy, who is but sixteen years of age. Indeed, I had every intention … oh, I cannot truly express how grieved I am over my behavior! I thought myself a gentleman, but I was a coward instead. I was convinced that you did not truly care for me, and I ran away to guard my own heart. I am incredibly sorry, Miss Bennet. Is there any way you can forgive me?”

A sudden smack on the window behind them caused everyone in the room to jerk in surprise. Mrs. Gardiner rose and walked rapidly toward the window, looked out, and said, “My apologies, gentlemen; my three older children are outside playing, and one of them threw an errant snowball which hit the windows. My other niece is instructing them to throw future snowballs away from the house, so I do not think we will be disturbed again.”

Darcy promptly rose to join his hostess by the window while Bingley waited, his heart thudding impatiently.

“I forgive you,” Jane finally said. “Of course I forgive you. I am greatly confused, however. We talked so comfortably, and you were so attentive when I was ill at your house. During the ball at Netherfield, we danced three times together, which was tantamount to a declaration on your part, and I would never have agreed to do so if … truly, I do not understand why it was not obvious that I cared for you. Mr. Bingley, I have no desire to suffer as I have these last months, and the only reason you are here now is because of an entirely chance meeting in the library. Furthermore, Miss Bingley was terribly rude when she visited last week, and I have no wish to be involved with a man who will not defend me from his own sisters, who obviously despise me…”

She trailed off miserably, and Bingley bit his lip. Oh, how he wished he could go back in time and make different, better choices! He opened his mouth to speak, just as the door to the sitting room opened and Elizabeth Bennet blew in, her cheeks rosy, her hair still damp and tousled from rolling around in the snow, though she had removed her outerwear and hat, obviously in haste. Both gentlemen stiffened at the sight of that determined face and steely eyes, and Bingley even cringed slightly as he rose to his feet. He had long admired Miss Elizabeth’s devotion toward her elder sister, but now, aware of his offenses against the woman he loved, he was slightly afraid.

“Elizabeth, my dear,” Mrs. Gardiner said, “you know Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley.”

“Of course,” Elizabeth returned as she curtsied. “I hope you are both well?”

“We are very well, Miss Elizabeth,” Bingley said meekly. “I hope you are well also?”

“I am,” Elizabeth returned with a bright smile and a gimlet eye. “It is such a charming surprise to see you both here today, sirs!”

Mrs. Gardiner shot a remonstrative look on her niece and said, “My dear Lizzy, I am certain you will catch cold if you do not dry off; do sit down near the fire and warm yourself.”

Elizabeth, hearing the note of command in her aunt’s voice, obediently moved over to the fire which was, she admitted to herself, delightfully warm. Now that she was not rushing around outside with the children, she felt both wet and chilled.

To her surprise, Mr. Darcy said, “The snow is beautiful, is it not, Miss Elizabeth? I am certain your cousins had a most enjoyable time outside.”

“They did,” Elizabeth agreed, looking out the back window. The children had disappeared from view, which was to be expected; the nursemaid was young and energetic, but chasing three vigorous children alone was no small thing. “I also enjoyed it. It has been too long since I have had the opportunity to build snowmen and throw snowballs.”

“Mr. Darcy and I were just speaking of winters in Derbyshire,” Mrs. Gardiner said, walking over to pour a cup of tea for her younger niece. “I have fond memories of skating on a pond close to the parsonage in Lambton and coasting down nearby hills.”

“As do I,” Darcy chimed in. “Pemberley has a wonderful pond within half a mile of the house, and my mother taught me how to skate when I was but a child of six. My father was always willing to break away from his duties for a few hours in order to take me and my sister coasting.”

Elizabeth was suddenly, surprisingly, aware of a surge of envy. Mr. Darcy, it seemed, had been blessed with attentive parents who were willing to join their children in outside activities, quite unlike Mr. and Mrs. Bennet.

“Jane and I have skated many times,” Elizabeth said. “It is most pleasurable activity.”

“Undoubtedly,” Darcy agreed, glancing at the wooden clock on the mantelpiece. “Bingley, I believe it is time to take our leave.”

Bingley suppressed a groan and looked at Miss Bennet, whose expression was unhappy, her eyes fixed again on the carpeted floor. He hated to depart with so much unsaid, but Darcy was right, they had been here for half an hour, and it would be discourteous to stay longer, especially since Miss Bennet was upset.

“Of course,” Bingley said, rising to his feet. “Mrs. Gardiner, it was wonderful meeting you. Miss Bennet, Miss Elizabeth, I cannot tell you how much I appreciate the opportunity to renew my acquaintance.”

“Good day, Mr. Bingley, Mr. Darcy,” Mrs. Gardiner said as she guided them out of the room and to the front door, where she bid them a firm farewell.

/

“Miss Bennet is most distressed,” Bingley said unhappily as the carriage transported them toward Darcy’s home.

“I am sorry,” Darcy said apologetically.

Bingley tapped one booted foot on the floor of the carriage and then blurted, “She said that since I danced with her three times at the Netherfield Ball, she had every reason to expect that I would offer for her hand in marriage.”

“That is an accurate assessment,” Darcy admitted.

For a minute all was silent, and then Bingley groaned aloud and said, “I fear I have dug myself a very deep hole indeed. Miss Bennet has every reason to feel hurt and indeed angry, though she seemed more sorrowful than furious. She said that she loved me, but has that love been burned away by my puerile desertion? I do not know.”

“I do apologize for misleading you,” Darcy said stiffly.

Bingley waved a hand and said, “I do believe you were wrong, but I am more to blame. I was the one who spent substantial time with Miss Bennet, and I should have trusted my own heart over your limited knowledge of her feelings. I am most grateful for your willingness to accompany me here today, especially since you did a marvelous job of keeping Mrs. Gardiner occupied.”

“It was a pleasure,” Darcy responded and then realized he was speaking the absolute truth. Mrs. Gardiner had been a complete and utter surprise; she was well mannered, charming, and an interesting conversationalist. “Mrs. Gardiner spent many years in Lambton, very close to Pemberley, and thus we had much in common to speak about.”

“Like ice skating and coasting?” Bingley suggested.

“Precisely,” Darcy returned, his mind’s eyes suddenly filled with the tantalizing image of Miss Elizabeth, her cheeks flushed with cold, her eyes sparkling after romping outside with her cousins.

“I have never had the opportunity to skate, but it sounds very enjoyable,” Bingley murmured wistfully.

“It is,” Darcy said. “Indeed, I was thinking only yesterday that I would like to take Georgiana to St. James Park soon to skate.”

Bingley’s eyes lit up at these words. “That gives me a marvelous idea, Darcy!”