Chapter 17

15 th January, 1813

Pemberley

Richard,

Miss Bennet left yesterday for her home in Hertfordshire. I miss her already.

Having confessed that, I must also admit that I did not speak of my attraction toward her.

My love for her.

Listen to me! Or read my words, I suppose. I genuinely adore Miss Bennet, and yet I could not find the right words to tell her of my desire to…

Yes, to make her my wife.

And still, I do not know my way forward. While I feel great passion for Miss Bennet, I also feel unease at the lack of … control… over my own emotions. Yes, she is the most marvelous woman in all of England, for me, at least, but I never thought I would fall in love. I thought my mind and my understanding would help me decide whom I should marry. I imagined looking over the ladies of the ton and objectively deciding on the woman best suited to me based on a list of criteria. Or I supposed I would marry Anne. How thankful I am for the wisdom of both of you, as Anne is very happily married to you, and clearly we would not have been well suited at all, but I know that is not news to you.

If my feelings toward Miss Bennet are borne of mere infatuation, then they will fade in the next weeks. I do not believe they will, but given the importance of marriage, I must be certain of my own feelings, for both our sakes. As you said so cogently, Miss Bennet is not the sort of woman who would be happy in a marriage of convenience or indifference. But enough of my agonizing over Miss Bennet.

I am glad to hear that Lady Catherine is now installed in the Dower House. I am less pleased that Mr. Collins continues to look to her for guidance, but at least Mrs. Collins is a sensible woman.

Regarding Anne, I will, of course, do whatever you like. I would feel better if she stayed here for some time longer, partly because of her health and partly because of the danger of poor weather this time of year. But if you wish for her to journey back to Kent, I will arrange for her to do so in style and with as much safety and comfort as I can manage.

Oh, one more thing. Bingley has indeed purchased Greymond, which is some forty miles from here, and he will be taking charge of it next week. The Hursts and Miss Bingley will accompany him. Their departure does not grieve me. I will miss Bingley, but his younger sister, in particular, is a tiresome creature.

God bless,

Fitzwilliam Darcy

/

18 th January, 1813

Dear Elizabeth,

I hope that your trip home to Longbourn was both pleasant and quick. I am certain it was wonderful to see your family again as well.

We definitely miss you here at Pemberley, but my brother has said that we will, assuming our continued good health, be journeying to London for the Season, and since Longbourn is more or less along the way, I hope we can visit you for a few hours. Or, if you happen to be visiting Mrs. Russell in Town, we will be able to see one another often.

My music master has me working on a new piece by Beethoven. It is very difficult, and often frustrating, but I am persevering.

Substantial snow fell over the night, and we woke up to a wonderland. I believe Pemberley is always lovely, but with a few fresh inches of white covering any mud and decorating every surface and branch, it is truly glorious. My brother and I intend to go for a walk this afternoon to a nearby pond to see whether there is ice around the edge yet. Sometimes, the weather is cold enough for long enough that the entire pond freezes well, and then we can ice skate.

Cousin Anne looks to be improving, though slowly. I must say that pregnancy seems a difficult experience, although Mrs. Reynolds assures me that not all women have such a hard time. She has three children of her own, and apparently she did not miss so much as a meal.

I am reading Robinson Crusoe and finding it most interesting. I like the part about the wheat growing the most. It is a strange idea that a few grains could turn into bushels of grain a few years down the road.

With much affection,

Georgiana Darcy

/

28 th January, 1813

Dear Georgiana,

The trip was very pleasant, yes. I am happy to be home, though I miss you very much, dear friend.

Has the pond frozen sufficiently that you can ice skate?

My sister Jane is happily settled in London with her husband. Mr. Russell is much engaged with his business, and Jane, while not precisely lonely, has invited me to visit her in London in the next months. I look forward to that, and it would be lovely to see you when you arrive as well.

Life is quiet in Meryton this year. It is very different from last year, when we had a full military regiment stationed in our little town. Our parties and activities are more sedate and, perhaps, duller, but I am most thankful that the officers are no longer present. My younger sisters are rather silly creatures, and they spent far too much time waxing eloquently over the charms of the officers. I believe all the young ladies in the area are safer with the regiment elsewhere.

I do continue to go for walks, though my current companion is far less interesting than you and Mr. Darcy. He is a handsome fellow but does not speak at all, because he is a spaniel named Maxwell. My father acquired him last autumn during hunting season. I am not certain he is a wonderful bird dog, but he does march along the paths with me, his long tail waving, and is a most loyal friend, except when there are noises in the bushes, whereupon he inevitably rushes away in search of a squirrel or rabbit.

He always returns, at least.

When do you think you will be journeying to London?

Affectionately,

Elizabeth

/

Greymond

7 th February, 1813

Darcy,

Thank you for your advice regarding fields and drainage. I find myself glad thankful that we moved here as soon as possible, as there is a great deal to learn about the estate. Caroline, not surprisingly, is whining incessantly about being trapped in a “moldering” house in the middle of the country with no one of elegance and refinement within ten miles. That is not, of course, true; the local gentry are very much like those of Meryton; gentleman farmers, and pleasant young ladies, and local assemblies, and plenty of invitations to dinner.

I am accepting some a few of the invitations, but I am resolved to put my shoulder to the plow and work diligently to bring Greymond into good heart. Mr. Milner, the steward you recommended, is a wonderful, intelligent man, and we meet almost every day to assess what needs to be done next to fix what has been broken.

I am very grateful to you for your wise counsel and help assistance, Darcy. I do not wish to overset you with too many questions, so I will ask you about my greatest burden. Greymond House has some significant issues, and the basic concerns of leaking windows and damaged floors must be dealt with immediately.

The furniture is also old-fashioned and in some places, tattered and worn, along with the curtains. Ought I to sink considerable funds into bringing the house’s furnishings into 1813? Caroline and My sisters, of course, wish me to do so, claiming it is imperative, but I am uneasy because I know that if there are poor harvests, I might need extra moneys to assist the tenants. There are also substantial problems with many of the tenant cottages with leaking .

To my relief, my sisters intend to journey to Town London in a month or so for the Season. That will leave me without a hostess, but I think it better that I not entertain. I look back at the ball at Netherfield. At the time, I thought it delightful, but now it is a sad reminder of my own penchant for socializing over working. I still feel sorrow at losing Miss Bennet to another man, but I also realize that it was entirely my own fault. I listened to you and my sisters and was too weak to do the obvious, which was to ask Miss Bennet herself about her feelings for me.

I am, I hope, a more resolute man now.

Sincerely,

Charles Bingley

/

15 th February, 1813

Elizabeth,

I know this is odd, but I am enclosing a letter from my brother to your father. He refused to tell me what is within it, and when I asked why he did not merely mail it to Mr. Bennet himself, he said that he heard that Mr. Bennet often forgets to read his letters. So please deliver it to your father.

The pond did freeze, and we went ice skating.

Fitzwilliam was not certain that the ice would be strong enough when we investigated the day before, but that morning dawned sharp and brisk, and he went down to check the pond. When he returned, he reported that it was sufficiently thick to bear our weight.

We informed Mrs. Reynolds that we would want hot chocolate when we returned and then bundled up and tromped out. It was such fun! The whole world was covered in a white blanket of snow, and icicles hung from the trees and glowed like crystal when the sun caught them. It looked very much like a fairyland.

I confess, I fell down several times once I had strapped on my skates and stepped onto the ice. Fitzwilliam's balance was far better than mine at the first, and he very kindly held my hands until I found my stride. But, oh, how glorious it was when I did.

Elizabeth, I wish you had been there. You mentioned once that you had rarely seen my brother laugh, and I agreed that he is, by nature, very grave. But you would have seen him laugh heartily then, for we were both full of joy. His responsibilities weigh heavily on his shoulders, I know. It only compounded my own delight to see him so enjoying himself. All that lacked to make it complete was your presence.

I hope that you will be in London during the Season so that we will be able to see one another regularly. I have enquired as to when we will travel south, and my brother said it will likely be in early April.

Sincerely,

Georgiana

/

14 th February, 1813

Dear Mr. Bennet,

I would guess, sir, that this letter finds you somewhat bemused, as we do not know one another well. I will not waste your time. The truth is that I find myself very much in love with your daughter, Elizabeth Bennet, and I hope to win her hand in marriage.

I did not express my admiration for your daughter when Miss Bennet was living at Pemberley for two reasons. One was that I did not wish to make her uncomfortable while residing in my home. The other was that I was still evaluating my own feelings. I know enough about Miss Bennet to believe – to be confident – that she does not wish for a marriage based on convenience or wealth.

These last weeks at Pemberley have been peculiar for me. It has long been my home, but with Miss Bennet no longer in residence, it seems strangely silent and lonely. My sister feels the same way.

For these reasons, I am requesting your blessing to court your daughter, Miss Elizabeth Bennet, if, of course, she is interested in such a courtship.

I have been informed from other sources that you would never force your daughter to marry against her will. I honor you for that, even as I hope that I will be able to win your daughter’s affections.

Sincerely,

Fitzwilliam Darcy

/

Pemberley

18 th February, 1813

Bingley,

I would most definitely not pour much money into updating the curtains and furniture at Greymond. Based on the information in your latest letter, the estate requires a great deal of attention to bring it into the 19 th century. I am always astonished that the owner of an estate could be so foolish and careless as to disregard cottages and drainage and fencing and the like, but many a man is, in fact, an idiot. Also, given that you will not be entertaining much, it makes more sense to focus on essential matters like replacing roofs and dealing with flooded fields.

I am proud of you, Bingley. Since the day we first met, I have admired your ductility of temper and charm. But yes, it is required by a master of an estate to work diligently to care for his people and his land. You are maturing as a man, and this is to your great credit.

I welcome any questions you have regarding the estate. Please do not hold back, as my fondest wish is to see you succeed.

Sincerely,

Fitzwilliam Darcy

/

21 st February, 1813

Mr. Darcy,

I was astonished by your letter to my father but pleased as well.

When I journeyed to Pemberley some months ago, I confess that I did not particularly like you. We had a difficult beginning to our acquaintance, and then there was the matter of Jane and Mr. Bingley. My views were also poisoned by the smooth talking of that wretch, Mr. George Wickham.

But in the weeks that I spent at Pemberley, I saw another side of you, and what I saw I liked very much. You are hardworking, an excellent brother, an honorable and diligent master, and you have actually read many of the books in your truly incredible library. In fact, your library alone is nearly enough to tempt me to marry... but I should not jest in this matter.

Having said all of that, I am not ready to accept an offer of marriage from you, but I do welcome a courtship. When I stepped into the carriage to return home to Longbourn, it was with genuine admiration for your character and person, but I did not even consider a possible marriage between us because my expectation was that you would never wed the daughter of a country gentleman, whose maternal grandfather was a solicitor.

That brings me to a most important point. You know of my connections. More than that, you know of the behavior of my mother and younger sisters. I am well aware that my mother is noisy and sometimes vulgar, and my younger sisters foolish. Indeed, I can only believe that the Lord on High has shown his mercy by keeping my youngest sister safe, as Lydia spent several months last year in Brighton with Colonel Forster’s wife, and she returned home as silly as always but thankfully devoid of scandal.

Before I even consider a possible match between you and me, I need to know your thoughts about my family. They have their failings, of course, but I love them and will never abandon them or cut them out of my life.

My uncle Gardiner is a man of trade who lives in Cheapside in London. He is also intelligent, godly, sensible, and wise. I would never wed a man who looks down on the Gardiners because of their position in society.

Let me be clear that I cannot blame you if you shrink from such relationships. I am well aware your family is a distinguished one, with close ties to the nobility, and you could have your pick of society misses. I know you to be a grave man who does not make decisions lightly, and I beg you to consider this matter seriously.

As you said in your letter to my father, I am not the sort of woman who will marry based on wealth and status. I wish for a marriage of mutual respect between my husband and myself, along with genuine affection. I look forward to your thoughts on these matters.

For the safety of my reputation and yours, I suggest that we send letters to one another within letters between Miss Darcy and myself. I do not wish to be forced into marriage, and neither do you.

God bless,

Elizabeth Bennet