CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Abby

The only things missing in John’s grandparents’ backyard are fireflies to make the day completely magical. That won’t happen in December, but the dancing flames in the fire pit are cozy and festive. I feel bad not being inside to help put the finishing touches on dinner, but no one wanted my help. I offered three times, until Maggie nearly pushed me out the back door.

So, here I sit. The flames keep me comfortably warm, and my ears appreciate the crackling wood over the usual noisy cheer of the house. I love John’s family, but boy, they’re loud.

“Grandma sent me out with something warm to drink.” John drops into the chair next to mine and hands me a steaming mug of hot cocoa. Even though dinner is soon, there’s still a tower of whipped cream, chocolate sprinkles, and a candy cane sticking out.

“Thanks.” I lick some whipped cream that’s about to slide down the side of the mug. “This must be the drink of the day.”

I’ve lost count of how many cups of cocoa I’ve consumed today. Enough to tide me over the rest of the year. Although, I do love chocolate, so maybe not.

“The choice was hot cocoa or Grandma’s spiked eggnog. But trust me, one glass of that will give you a buzz.”

I’m already lightheaded around John. I don’t need to be tipsy, too. “Hot chocolate is definitely my jam.”

“Careful, it’s hot.” His soft voice wraps around me, leaving me feeling warm and fuzzy.

I hold on to the mug’s handle but can still feel the heat. “Thanks for inviting me here today. Everything has been surprisingly amazing.”

John laughs. “Surprisingly? Should I be offended?”

“No. Of course not.” Heat rushes to my cheeks. Is blushing around your boss a skill or a flaw? “I meant given how the day started at my parents’ house.”

He nods, but his expression shifts, turning serious. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

Every muscle tenses. My heart feels like it’s on pause, waiting. Is this when he reminds me it’s all pretend? After we pick up Powerfluff, we go back to being boss and employee?

“Okay.” I force my voice to stay steady. “I’m listening.”

John draws in a deep breath, focusing on the flames. “I’ve been less than honest with you. For a while now, actually.”

Oh no . This sounds worse than just boss-employee talk. Is he seeing someone else? I brace myself, gripping the mug tighter.

“The truth is…” He stares at me. “I’ve been wanting to go out with you since July.”

I blink, positive I misheard. “Wait. What did you just say?”

John runs a hand through his hair—a gesture I’ve seen him do at work. “I fell for you when we met in July. My feelings have only grown since then. It’s unprofessional, I know, but nothing I’ve done to push them away has helped. Spending Christmas with you, watching you with my family… I can’t keep pretending I don’t care about you, Abby.”

My brain scrambles to catch up. Mr. Barrington? John? Has wanted to date me for months? The same man who has been acting like he despises me for more than five months? “But you’ve been so hard on me at work. I thought you hated me.”

As he winces, the lines on his forehead and around his mouth deepen. “I overcompensated in our interactions to make sure I didn’t show favoritism to you. I went too far. I’m so sorry.”

I let out a laugh—half disbelief, half relief. “You think?”

John’s smile turns sheepish. “Yeah, not my finest moment. But, Abby, you have to know—you’re brilliant, dedicated, and so passionate about your work. I was afraid if I let how I really felt show, it would compromise your position. Or, worse, make you uncomfortable.”

I shake my head, trying to understand. “So, all those times you were criticizing my work…”

“I was pushing you because I knew you could do even better,” he finishes. “But I was also worried that anyone would think I was playing favorites.”

“Wow.” I set my mug down on the small table between us.

John nods, his eyes shadowed. “Seeing the way your family criticizes you made me see I’ve been hurting you more than I realized. I feel awful I’ve contributed to your self-doubt. I’m sorry to dump this on you now, but acting like a couple has also made me realize how much I want this—us—to be real.”

It’s what I want, too, but I’m still stunned to find out my grouchy boss likes me. And yet my heart is so happy—like really, really happy. “I know we admitted we were falling for each other during the scavenger hunt, but this is a lot to take in.”

He gives me a sad smile. “It is a lot, but I needed you to know.”

I nod, and there’s something I should tell him—about applying for other jobs. Thinking about saying those words aloud bunches my muscles. I don’t want to ruin Christmas. Not that it will, but we both like each other, so that would put a damper on this wonderful day. I should wait.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

“Yes.”

“You seemed to be off somewhere else for a moment.”

I didn’t think he would notice, and I don’t want to lie to him, which means I have to say something. I fight the urge to bite the inside of my mouth.

“Are you sure nothing’s wrong?” he asks, sitting straighter than he was a few seconds ago.

Uh-oh . Is he having second thoughts about pursuing a relationship? I hope not after how well everything has been going.

“Abby?”

“Did you know there’s an office bet as to when you’ll fire me?” I blurt.

John’s eyes widen. “What? Why?”

I bite my lip. He told me his truth—it’s my turn. Even though I’m withholding that his behavior has led me to look for a new position. “The past few months have been rough. You criticize everything I do, and coworkers notice.”

John looks stunned. “I never meant for that to happen or for others to think I’m not happy with your performance.”

I shrug, trying to brush it off. “Maybe not, but you did a good job of it anyway.”

He hesitates and then holds my hand. His warmth sends a tingle up my arm. “I messed things up badly, didn’t I?”

I laugh. “Yeah, you kind of did. I was so sure you hated me I never bothered to see if there might be anything else going on.”

John squeezes my hand. “I really need to work on my people skills. You won’t be fired. Far from it. For what it’s worth, you’re the top-performing advisor in the office. Clients have nothing but glowing reviews of you. I have a lot to learn before I can be as good as you are communicating with others.”

“Thank you,” I say. Having job security is the best Christmas present. Next to John’s kisses. My muscles relax, and I’m breathing easier. I’m relieved I didn’t tell him about wanting to leave the office. Maybe he doesn’t need to know how close I was to quitting.

I also love that he wants to do better. Even though he can take seminars and read books, I wouldn’t mind a little one-on-one tutoring to help him communicate better. “I’ll help you.”

* * *

Twilight settles over John’s grandparents’ backyard. As the fire continues to burn, John still holds my hand. Or maybe I’m holding on to him. Either way, I like being connected to him while we figure this out.

At least, I assume that’s what comes next.

His jaw relaxes, which I take as a good sign. “Where does this leave us after today?”

I wish I knew. If we didn’t work together, the question would be easy to answer, but I’ve never dated anyone I worked with. And after Jake… Well, keeping work and personal life separate seems like a smart way to operate. Until fake-dating John. “I don’t know. I mean, you’re my boss.”

“I’ll deal with any issues that arise because of that. Nothing says romance like HR policies.” He sounds very boss-like, but nothing like the Mr. Barrington I thought I worked for. “I’m willing to jump through whatever hoops are necessary to be with you.”

“I appreciate that, but I don’t want everything to fall on you.”

“Considering I’m your boss, I’m happy to handle it. HR paperwork? That’s nothing compared to keeping my feelings for you hidden. But we both need to be mindful of the power imbalance at work.”

“Thanks.”

“Your happiness is what matters most.”

His sincerity leaves me speechless. No one’s ever put my needs first before. I swallow, my voice soft. “Thank you.”

I look at him—not as my boss, but as a kind, caring man who has been trying, in his own awkward way, to look out for me. Curiosity gets the best of me. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“What made you have feelings for me?”

Even though it’s dark outside, the fire and porch lights show the blush rising on his cheeks. “Honestly? It was the day I started. You introduced yourself first, told me all your ideas to change things up. You spoke your mind, even though you didn’t know me at all. I was impressed.”

I can’t help but smile. “So, my stubborn streak was actually a turn-on?”

He laughs, a sound that makes me tingle all over. “You could say that. But what really sealed it for me was when you laughed at my silly jokes. That made it harder to keep my feelings in check.”

“Hence the tough-boss act?”

“Hence the tough-boss act.” He sighs.

“If you’d talked to me like a normal person, we probably could’ve avoided all this drama.”

John shrugs, a rueful smile crossing his face. “I told you, this is my first management role. I was trying to be professional, so I didn’t realize what I was doing.”

“I thought you were just jumping on the ‘Make Abby the scapegoat’ wagon, like my family.”

“I get why you’d think that.” His gaze softens, making me feel heard. “We’re quite a pair, aren’t we?”

The firelight flickers across his face, softening the lines that I used to think were disapproval. Now, I see them as signs of a man who cares and has been hiding his feelings for far too long.

“So, what happens next?” I rephrase his earlier question.

John’s gaze never leaves mine. “That’s up to you. I want to see where this can go. But it’s okay if you need time or don’t feel the same way.”

I rub my fingers together, feeling the warmth of his hand. It’s true I’ve never let myself think of John this way before. But I can’t deny that I want more.

“I’d like to give this a shot.” I choose my words carefully. “But we need some ground rules.”

“Whatever rules you want.”

I hold up my index finger. “One, no more Mr. Tough Guy at work. I need honest feedback, not you needing to overcompensate for appearance’s sake.”

“Done. I promise to be fair and constructive.”

“Two,” I continue, “we take things slow and don’t rush into anything.”

“We’ll go at whatever pace you’re comfortable with.”

I hold up three fingers. “My career is important to me, and I need your support as much as you need mine.”

“Abby, your success and happiness come first. I mean that one hundred percent. You’ll always have my support.”

A warmth spreads through my chest. I’m almost in disbelief. I’m not used to being put first by anyone, including Powerfluff. It’s an odd feeling, but one I’d like to get used to having. I swallow again. “Okay, then. We’re doing this. For real.”

John’s smile is brighter than any Christmas lights I’ve ever seen. I hope I can always make him smile like that.

A gust of wind blows sparks from the fire, and we both jump. I lunge forward, my elbow accidentally knocking my mug off the table. Cocoa spills across the ground, splattering everywhere.

“Oh no.” I reach for a napkin to clean up the mess I made.

John grabs a handful, chuckling. “Here, let me help.”

We lean in at the same time, our heads colliding with a thunk.

“Ow.” I rub my forehead, grimacing.

John’s expression turns mortified. “Sorry. Are you okay?”

I nod, then wince. “Yeah, I’m fine. Maybe we need to work on our coordination.”

He touches the spot where our heads met, his fingers gentle. “Not exactly the smooth move I was going for.”

A smile tugs at my lips. “Oh? And what smooth move were you planning, Mr. Casanova?”

Mischief gleams in his eyes. “A romantic kiss by the fire. But I guess knocking heads works too.”

I laugh, trying not to move my sore head. “Oh, no, mister. That doesn’t work at all.”

Before I can second-guess myself, I press my lips to his. John freezes as if caught off guard. Then he wraps his arms around me, pulling me closer, deepening the kiss.

Our mistletoe kiss was nice, but this is a million times better. It’s real—warm and full of everything we’ve been holding back. Bonus points for no family audience. When we finally pull apart, we’re both breathless.

“Wow,” John says, his voice low.

“Yeah.” I feel dazed. “Wow.”

We stay there, just basking in the moment. I can’t help but giggle.

John pulls back slightly, raising an eyebrow. “What’s so funny?”

“I was thinking how this is definitely not how I expected Christmas to go when I woke up this morning.”

He pulls me close again, his eyes twinkling. “Me neither. But I’m happy with how it turned out.”

As I snuggle into John’s warmth, I realize I’m not only happy but grateful. This Christmas has been full of surprises—from fake dating to a real relationship, from family drama to unexpected romance. But I wouldn’t change a thing.

Well, maybe except for the head bump. But nobody’s perfect, right?