18. Clyde

eighteen

Clyde

I was beyond honored when Mrs. Cole asked if I’d help her with the desserts. I’d been helping cook when she asked me, and both the server, a woman who’d been working here for years, and the cook froze.

I nodded and followed Mrs. Cole into the area of the kitchen where she prepared desserts. “I bring more people into my café with my baking than with my food, and I’ve been waiting for someone who appreciates the need to do things right. That’s why you’re the first person I’ve trained to do this since my cousin Gloria retired a few years back. Now, I need you to watch and listen. I have my little secrets I throw in to make it all taste special and last longer. Can you do that?” she asked. I immediately nodded my head. “Good, I figured I could count on you.”

I gave her my full attention as she threw together dessert after dessert. I’d tried most of the ones she put out regularly and a few she kept back for “special occasions.” Although most of her dessert recipes were as old as time—things like chess pie, chocolate meringue, and banana pudding—Mrs. Cole’s creations were unique.

When she tossed a teaspoon of white distilled vinegar in one of the meringue pies, I gasped. “Vinegar?” I whispered, and she winked and nodded.

“Not only does it give it a little tang, but it also helps keep it fresh longer. But mind you, if you put in too much, it’ll taste like vinegar. This town would not forgive you if you made their favorite desserts taste bad.”

I nodded solemnly. “So, what other secrets do you hold?”

She laughed out loud, making both the server and cook look our way. “Oh, you’ll learn, but not all at once. For now, we need to get these done and out onto the serving line before the dinner rush hits.”

I loved learning from Mrs. Cole. I couldn’t even express how much. I had never enjoyed working anywhere as much as I did working for her. In the short time I’d been here, I’d also come to love the look of the little restaurant, the repeat traffic, hearing how customers enjoyed my cooking, and the coworkers I’d gotten to know.

What I loved most, though, was that even though this café served the best food I’d ever had the luxury of serving, I was treated like my efforts mattered. Mrs. Cole recognized my commitment and as a result, trusted me with things like the desserts. I never would’ve asked for that, knowing how important they were to her and her business.

I was on cloud nine as the dinner rush began to wane and knew Mrs. Cole was about to kick me out just as Ruther walked in the front door. I smiled and waved at him as I wiped down the serving utensils and buffet area.

“I was hoping you were still here,” he said, walking up to me. I noticed he was no longer using his crutches, which must mean his ankle was better. “When do you get off? Can you join me for dinner?”

I glanced up at the clock and couldn’t help but wonder if my matchmaking boss might’ve been behind his perfect timing. “Sure, let me finish here and ensure Mrs. Cole don’t need me to do anythin’ else.”

He smiled and wandered over to a corner booth. When Mrs. Cole smiled and winked, I knew she had most definitely had a hand in arranging this little meetup. “Shall I carry out the mop water before I’m done?” I asked her. I always did it as part of the cleaning routine, but I was curious what she’d say today.

“No, son, you go on out there and talk to the handsome Mr. Ruther. I’ll have Elsie do that before she closes for the night.”

I grinned. Yep, a full-out setup.

I tossed my apron onto the dirty clothes pile, knowing that’d be another of Elsie’s jobs before she clocked out tonight. Then I went to the restroom, used a paper towel to wipe down my sweaty, greasy face, and shrugged when I had to accept that I wouldn’t be too pretty after working an eight-hour shift in a Southern food restaurant.

When I returned to the dining room, Ruther was waiting. “You could’ve gone ahead and gotten your plate unless you’re wantin’ to order somethin’ off the menu.”

“I wanted to wait for you,” Ruther said, sounding sincere. “I’m not even all that hungry. Mostly, I wanted a chance to thank you for what you’ve done for me the past few days.”

I smiled at the praise, even though I didn’t quite know what to do with it. “Well, I’m famished. Nothin’ like a long day’s work to build up an appetite. Shall we fill our plates before we chat?” I asked.

I used the time at the buffet to get my mind to calm down. I hadn’t planned to spend any time with the man again, fully convincing myself to leave well enough alone, but he’d been so sweet to wait for me. Regardless of what all he wanted to discuss, and even if it included a romantic proposition I’d have to decline, I could still enjoy being in the presence of such a beautiful, dignified man, right?

Ruther bumped me gently a couple of times by accident while we shuffled along the buffet line. The brief touches caused my insides to skitter, but I packed that down quick.

“So, as I was saying,” he said as we returned to our booth, “I need to thank you. You not only rescued me when I injured myself out in the woods but also this morning after I had a panic attack.” He paused a moment and stared down at his food. “I-I don’t have them often any longer, but when I do, I just need to calm down, and that’s hard to do when people are swarming me or asking a bunch of questions. Corey is great at helping me save face, but you…you just helped me get myself put back together. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that.”

His face was so pinched, I let my guard down long enough to reach over and place my hand over his. “Listen, I had panic attacks bad when I was in high school. My dad, well, he was a little free with the belt, and anytime I’d mess up at school, I’d freak out thinkin’ bad things would happen at home.”

“Did you get away from him?” he asked, leading me away from the panic attack conversation.

“Eventually, but not until I was grown. Anyway, I recognize panic attacks and know what you meant by needin’ a moment to calm down.”

“Do you still have them?” he asked, and the composed demeanor he always seemed to have slipped a moment, exposing a vulnerable soul that just made him all the more appealing.

I nodded. “I do, but they’re sporadic, and I can never predict them. Luckily, I’ve not had one since coming here. I think it’s because Crawford City’s the first place I’ve been in a long time that makes me feel safe.”

Ruther’s eyes grew wide before they clouded over. “Safe in Crawford City,” he said, mostly to himself, then laughed dryly. “Do you like wine?”

His abrupt change of subject made my head spin for a moment. “Um, yeah, a little.”

“I got you something, but I don’t know if you like dry wine. Do you?” he asked, and I laughed at how concerned he looked.

“I don’t drink a lot of wine ’cause most of what I can afford tastes like someone poured a gallon of sugar in it. As for the so-called dry stuff, if it’s in my pay range, it makes my face blush too hard and goes right to my head.”

Ruther chuckled. “The cheap stuff does that. Anyway, I visited a little winery near town that produces surprisingly good wine. I brought back a bottle of my favorite, thinking maybe you’d share it with me.”

I quickly looked around, nervous that if Ruther opened wine here in the café, Mrs. Cole would take our heads off.

Ruther seemed to understand my reaction and grinned. “Not here, but now that I think about it, there’s a nice little place at the hotel that serves the wines with local cheeses. I haven’t gone there yet, but it’d be fun to go there with you.”

I blushed and, with my hand still over his, nearly said yes. I turned my head just enough that the almost gone bruises on my neck twinged, and I remembered exactly why I had to decline his invitation.

I pulled my hand back but kept smiling. “Ruther, you’re a handsome and sweet man. I would love to say yeah, but I…well, I’m not in a place to entertain male friends right now.”

“Oh,” Ruther said, looking stricken. “You have a boyfriend, or are you married?”

I couldn’t hold back a grimace thinking about my dating history. “That would be a no. I don’t have a partner, and I ain’t ever been married. Honestly, that’s a blessing ’cause I’ve only ever dated losers.”

When he blanched, I sighed. “I’ve sworn off men, at least until the bruises from my last relationship fade.”

I could tell he didn’t understand I meant literally fade, and I was okay with that. No need for him to know I tended to go out with men who used me as a punching bag, not unlike my father, whom I’d somehow mentioned in a moment of weakness earlier.

“I-I don’t have the best track record with dating. I only just found my way to Crawford City, and to be honest, Ruther, I like it here. More than any other place I’ve ever been. It’s beautiful. The people are sweet and kind and don’t seem to mind that I’m a flouncing fairy. That’s hard to come by in these parts, so as much as I’d like to take you up on your offer, I’m afraid I’m not in the market to find someone who might make all that go away.”

Ruther gave me a bewildered look, then sighed. “I was afraid you might say that. I’ll be honest, I don’t know how long I’ll be in Crawford City, but let me make a proposal. I’m here in town to…well, I’m here to face some of my past demons. And that’s hard, as you saw earlier today. I’m struggling with it. Would you consider helping me see Crawford City the way you do? I know it sounds strange, but you said you feel safe here.” He paused and looked down at the food still heaped on his plate, then back at me. “I don’t and haven’t felt safe in a very long time. I could use some guidance, and I can promise not to make a move on you. In fact, we can keep our meetings public, and if I need, I can have my assistant join us to make sure we keep things, um, platonic.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Are you saying you’d hire a chaperone?” I asked, and he blushed and then smiled.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying, a chaperone when not in public.”

“And your assistant, is he also your lover?” I asked, wanting to get to the bottom of that before agreeing.

It was his turn to laugh. “That’s a very hard no. I haven’t had a lover in several years, and my assistant, Corey, is special, but that’s because he cares about me as a friend and an employer. Corey is one of the most important people in my life, but there’s nothing romantic there, and there never has been.”

The man doth protest too much , I thought, then caught myself. It didn’t matter if his employee was someone who did him favors or not, and it wasn’t any of my business anyway. I wasn’t gonna get involved with Ruther or anyone else for that matter. But I’d seen the vulnerability when he’d said he didn’t feel safe in Crawford City, and I couldn’t ignore that.

“Ruther, I’m open to getting to know you, your assistant, and other people in town as friends. Right now, though, I’m also wanting to get to know this fried chicken ’cause I’m about to starve to death over here.”

That made him laugh, and I didn’t wait any longer to bite into the deliciousness in front of me.

Our conversation was light after that, mostly Ruther telling me about his day and the winery he’d found with his new friends, Jake and Lance. In turn, I made some small talk but intentionally kept my personal life close to my chest.

I’d already told Ruther more than I usually did with people I didn’t know, but his vulnerability was like kryptonite to me. Knowing I’d already overshared made me twitchy. I’d have to be careful around him because it’d be just a bit too easy to let my guard down.

I wondered for a moment if that might be his intention. Then he told me about the chapel in the woods, and his eyes gleamed, and I thought, no, I was looking at one of the only genuine men I’d ever met. No fake promises or begging me to give him something I wasn’t comfortable giving.

He’d heard me and respected me, and now we were going to get to know each other in a platonic way. Of course, my inner dysfunction screamed at me to crawl over the table and into his sexy lap. But I wasn’t ready to dive headlong into a new relationship, even if Ruther was more refined than all the men I’d dated. Granted, refined didn’t mean he wasn’t violent, but getting to know him as a person meant I’d see his true colors soon enough. I just hoped I wouldn’t be disappointed. Lord knows I was full up on that, enough to last several lifetimes.