8. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Ana Maria

I don't know what happened this afternoon with Justin, but he went from hot to cold in less than sixty seconds. I know he doesn't want to talk about it, but I need to find out the truth. I call Mrs. Hoffer and tell her I need to have an important conversation with her son and ask if she’ll take Daisy.

That's really not my call to make because I'm not her stepmother just yet, but I need some answers, and for that, we need privacy. I knock on Justin's door and wait for him to open it. When he does, he's surprised to see me. No shit. You can't pull away from me like that and think I'm going to take it sitting down.

"We need to talk."

"I…"

"Please. If we're going to make this work, we need to be honest with one another."

He looks defeated and opens the door wide for me to come inside. I enter and take my coat off. He's got his fireplace going and it feels cozy and warm in here. I walk to the living room and sit down on the couch. I'm hoping he sits next to me, but he just paces across the floor before me.

"What happened this afternoon, Justin?"

"I don't think we should do this fake marriage thing anymore."

"What? But you were so gung-ho about it."

After more pacing I try and reach for his hand to pull him to me. He pulls away and finally flops down on an armchair close by.

"You looked so beautiful after you came. Your eyes were glazed, and you looked totally enchanted. I did that to you. But then…"

His hands become fists, and he keeps opening and closing them as if he's not in control anymore.

"You might not like what I'm about to say."

"Honesty and openness, remember? It's the only way we can do this."

"I don't know that I can go through with it anymore."

"What changed?"

I see tears falling from his eyes, and he quickly covers his face with his hands.

"I saw my wedding picture. It was on the table behind you, and I just…I cheated on my wife."

I get up and sit on the coffee table in front of him.

"You know that's not true. You loved her. You still do. You did nothing wrong."

"I've never thought ahead to what life might look like with someone else. So many feelings have come up after I saw that photograph. I feel like the lowest scum on the earth."

"I think you're being too hard on yourself. Things are moving quickly, though. Maybe we should slow down?"

"I don't know…"

"Tell me a little bit more about what you're feeling, please. That's the only way I can help you."

Frustration covers his features, and I reach out for his hands.

"It's not your place to have to help me, Ana. I'm sorry, I've made a mess of things."

My heart goes out to him and what he's going through. Maybe with a little truth from my side, things could become clearer.

"I've had a crush on you for years, Justin."

"What? Why didn't you say anything?"

"I was waiting for you to make a move, but you're such a gentleman, you never did."

"Not a gentleman, a coward. Do you want to marry me?"

"I would like a chance to get to know you better. I think we could make it work as a family."

"You think?"

He seems doubtful of my words. I'm feeling extremely vulnerable right now. He needs to move on from his wife before embracing a relationship with me. I cringe at how unfeeling that seems. I can't say that to him, but what can I say?

"Justin, I'll follow your lead on whatever you decide. I would like to say that it is not my intention to take Ellie's place in your heart or in her daughter's life. As a matter of fact, I'll make sure to include her and remind Daisy of how wonderful she was. Will you tell me about her?"

Justin gets up from his seat and walks to the fireplace, where photos of his family decorate the mantel. He takes one picture in his hands and brings it over. The next hour is spent listening to all the good and the bad things about his beloved Ellie, and I worry that I might never have what they had together.

When we've gone through the last picture book, Justin looks at me intently.

"Let's go away to that bed and breakfast for New Year's. It'll be just us together. I felt very close to you that night, Ana."

"I like that idea very much. Will you be okay being away from your daughter?"

"Yes. We usually spend the night with my parents."

"Then I'm all yours."

"Okay, I'll make the reservations right now. Hopefully, they won't be full. I know it's short notice. Maybe I can bribe the old crow. She was nasty."

He looks at the window, and he frowns. The weather has turned bad again, but I think I can manage it in my car.

"Don't even think about it, Ana. You're staying in the guest room."

I hope he doesn't see the desire in my eyes. Can I stay in another room while I know his gorgeous body and kind soul are just a door down from me? I don't think I'm that strong. I get up and move the curtains aside so I can take a peek. I don't think I should drive in this kind of weather. I feel a little defeated. How will I hold up my barriers against him?

"Hot chocolate or warm milk?"

I frown and give him a questioning look.

"What would help you get to sleep faster?"

I'm embarrassed to tell him that what I really need is something with alcohol. Oh, what the heck.

"I'm game if you put something stronger in that hot chocolate. Make it Irish."

A big smile spreads over his face, and he goes back to the kitchen to fix our drinks. He brings two Christmas-themed steaming mugs.

"I put marshmallows on there. I hope you don't mind."

"Are you kidding? You just went a few rungs higher on the hotness meter."

We sit next to each other on his living room couch and sip our chocolate. Inside, it's a quiet, lovely night, even though a storm is brewing outside.

"Thank you, Ana. Your words have helped me with this little freakout of mine."

I put my cup down on the coffee table and grab his hand. I squeeze it for good measure.

"We're in this together, Justin."

He gives me a small smile and squeezes my hand back. Just before midnight, he shows me the guest room. I cringe inwardly because I was hoping he'd invite me into his bedroom. It doesn't really matter. Tomorrow, we're spending New Year's together in a cozy room where anything can and will happen.

With every second I spend with Justin Hoffer, I realize I'm crazy about him. I've never felt anything like this for a man, and it scares me a little. It takes me a long time to get to sleep, but when I do, it's only to dream about the perfect family I will soon have, even if it's a fake one.