39. Abbey

39

ABBEY

The next few weeks were pure agony for Abbey. She cried herself to sleep every night and dreaded every day. She forced herself to go to work at Rose's Roses but every time the door chime tinkled she flinched, knowing that whoever the customer was, they had surely heard about what Chris Brander had done to her.

The way Solon had punished her rapist had gone viral and made national news. Seven other women besides herself had come forward and now he was being prosecuted—not that he could be sent to jail just yet. He was still in the hospital, recovering.

Abbey had agreed to testify, but she was dreading it. She had so much guilt and fear and regret tied up in those awful memories. Part of her felt like if she had come forward, she might have prevented at least some of the other rapes Brander had committed. But almost all of the other survivors were saying the same thing she had felt—that Brander had seemed to be above the law because his father was powerful and they knew they wouldn't be able to get justice.

Well, Solon had gotten justice for her, Abbey thought bitterly. Surgeons had tried and failed to reattach Brander's penis and testicles. They had been too mangled and his body had rejected them, so he was effectively a eunuch for the rest of his life.

She took a certain bitter satisfaction in her rapist's fate, but that was offset by her longing for Solon. She wished now that she hadn't sent the big Monstrum away. Their time on Tengula Five played over and over in her head. She remembered all the fun they'd had and the way he had loved her so gently and so passionately. She missed the comfort of his arms and the feeling of his warm, furry chest under her cheek as he cradled her close to his big body. And she missed his Bonding Scent—it made her feel so safe and protected when he held her and she inhaled the warm, spicy, wild fragrance that his body made just for her.

But that time was over now, Abbey reminded herself. They were broken up and it was all her fault. Maybe she shouldn't have gotten so upset over his lie about the exemption. Maybe she shouldn't have told him she needed time to herself.

He did lie to me, but only because he wanted to be with me so badly. But does that justify him being untruthful?

Abbey didn't know. She only knew she was mixed up and confused and unhappy and her life, which had seemed so full and perfect just a few weeks ago, now felt flat and empty and lonely.

She knew she ought to get out and do something…but she just didn't feel like it. So when Aunt Rose invited her to go to the annual Rose Growers Association convention, which they attended every year to find new supply sources for the shop, Abbey turned her down.

"I'm sorry, Aunt Rose—I'm just not up for it this year," she said with a sigh.

"But honey, I hate to leave you all alone in the house! You're so depressed since you had that fight with your Monstrum," her aunt protested.

"He's not ‘my Monstrum' anymore," Abbey said sadly. "And he never will be again."

"Don't say that!" Aunt Rose exclaimed. "He still loves you—I'm sure he does!"

"Then why hasn't he come back to see me or called me?" Abbey demanded. "No, Aunt Rose—we're broken up for good. I even…even gave him his engagement ring back," she added and then had to swallow the lump that rose in her throat.

"Oh, honey…" Aunt Rose put her arms around Abbey and squeezed gently. "Don't give up hope," she whispered. "I know he still cares for you—you should have seen the way he looked at you! Like you hang the sun and the moon and shine brighter than both of them put together!"

Abbey smiled a little at her aunt's old-fashioned way of talking.

"Thanks, Aunt Rose, but I think I really made him mad. I don't blame him for not coming back after the way we ended things."

"This is foolishness!" Aunt Rose told her. "Just call him, honey!"

"I can't." Abbey shook her head. "I broke up with him—he probably never wants to see me again!"

"He cares about you, honey! He punished that horrible Chris Brander for you," her aunt pointed out. "He did exactly what I would have wanted to do to him if only I had known."

Abbey could hear the reproach in her aunt's voice. Rose still hadn't forgiven her for not telling her about the attack right after it had happened. She sighed and shook her head.

"Look, Aunt Rose, just go on to the convention. I'll stay here and listen to my favorite audiobooks and watch some old movies and eat lots of chocolate. I'll be fine."

"I still say you should call him," her aunt said with a sigh. "This is just a big misunderstanding between the two of you. I can tell you still love him—it's plain as the nose on your face! And I'm sure he feels the same way. Just think about it, please?"

"I'll think about it," Abbey promised her, though she doubted she would. Her heart was still sore with wounded pride. And she was still irritated that the big Monstrum had lied to her. She just couldn't see herself calling him, even though she missed him terribly. And she doubted he wanted to call her either.

In the end, Aunt Rose went to the convention on her own and Abbey stayed in the house. She decided to put on Dirty Dancing and just veg on the couch—she loved the old movies she and her girlfriends had watched at slumber parties when they were kids. They had seen them so many times that Abbey could still "see" every scene in her mind's eye as she listened to the dialogue coming from the TV.

As she watched the movie, she had to explain parts of it to Spex, who was fascinated by it. The little Eye-pet had been a lifesaver these past few weeks. It was his unconditional love that kept Abbey going, even when she wanted to just stay in bed and rot. He had a nest on her nightstand and his sweet little voice in her ear was the first thing she heard every morning and the last thing she heard every night.

"Pretty Abbey, why is the movie called ‘Dancing Dirty' when none of the dancers has dirt on them?" he asked her.

"Well, actually it's Dirty Dancing," Abbey corrected him.

"Yes, Spex sees them dancing but none of them needs a bath," the little Eye-pet protested. "And why does the main dance-man say nobody can put Baby in the corner? Spex didn't see anyone trying to do that to her. She is dancing all around with the dance-man—not standing in the corner."

"Well, when he talks about putting her in the corner, what he really means is—" Abbey started to explain.

"Abbey? Pretty Abbey?" Spex interrupted her and she noticed that his little voice was suddenly softer and there was a note of fear in it.

"Yes, Spex? What's wrong?" she murmured.

"Pretty Abbey, Spex sees eyes watching," he whispered, sounding even more afraid.

"What? Do you mean on the TV screen?" Abbey asked, frowning.

"No-no," Spex murmured. "Eyes outside the window—watching Pretty Abbey."

"What?" Abbey exclaimed. Her heart was suddenly pounding. There was a large picture window in her living room, directly across from the couch. Aunt Rose normally shut the curtains at night, but Abbey had forgotten to do that and she was sitting in full view of the window.

"Mean eyes!" Spex whispered, sounding more and more frightened. "Hurt-you eyes! Pretty Abbey, Spex thinks there's a bad man outside!"

By now Abbey had come to trust her little Eye-pet completely. If Spex said there was a bad man in the bushes outside her house looking at her through the window, she believed him. The question was, what could she do about it?

Well, the first thing was not to let him know she knew he was watching, she thought. If he suspected she knew what was going on, he might try to break in immediately. She had to act casual and get someplace safe.

"Okay, here's what we're going to do," she whispered, trying to look normal and keeping her face turned towards the lighted TV screen. "I'm going to get up and pretend I'm going to the bathroom. I'm going to take my phone with me and once we're out of sight of the window, I'm going to call the police."

"Will they send help for Pretty Abbey and Spex?" His little voice sounded doubtful. "Aren't they the same ones who were mad at Pretty Abbey and fur-man that night?"

Abbey bit her lip—her little Eye-pet had a point. Captain Hogan pretty much hated her. He clearly blamed her and the other survivors who had come forward for the downfall of Chris Brander, who had been a kind of town hero before his history of attacking women had come out into the open. But surely the 911 operator wouldn't know that—they would dispatch the police to her house if she called and asked for help—wouldn't they?

"It'll be fine," she told Spex as she stretched, trying to look casual, and then rose from the couch. "They have to send help whether they like you or not."

She hoped.

She slipped her phone, which had been resting on the couch beside her, into her pocket and then got off the couch. As she turned to go into the other room, she could feel someone watching her like an itching between her shoulder blades. Oh God, who was out there? Was it someone from Chris Brander's family? Had his father decided to send someone to hurt her? Or was it Chris himself? Had he gotten out of the hospital and decided to take revenge?

Also, had Aunt Rose remembered to lock the door when she left for the convention? She had an absent-minded habit of leaving it unlocked, which was one reason Abbey always double checked it. But she'd been feeling too sad and lethargic to leave the couch, so she hadn't gone behind her aunt to check after Rose left. What if it was open right now and all the watcher had to do was twist the knob and walk right into the living room?

Abbey had no answers to any of these questions—all she could do was keep walking, trying to act like nothing was bothering her as she made her way to the back of the house where her bedroom and bathroom were located.

She hesitated by the bathroom door for a moment, then moved past it and entered her bedroom. This door had a stronger lock—but was it strong enough to keep out a really determined intruder?

Abbey didn't know and she hoped she didn't have to find out.

Just as she was stepping into her bedroom, she heard a sound that froze her heart—it was the creaking of the front door. So Aunt Rose had forgotten to lock it—or else the intruder had picked the lock. Either way, whoever had been watching her from outside was now inside with her.

Dropping all pretense of calm, Abbey slammed her bedroom door shut and locked it. Then she backed away, heart pounding.

"Oh Aaaaaabbeeeeeey," called a voice out in the hallway. "Abbey, babe—it's me!"

"Oh my God!" Abbey felt sick—she knew that voice and it wasn't Chris Brander.

"I missed you," the intruder called and she could tell he was getting closer. "Where are you, babe? Did you miss me?"

Abbey fumbled for her phone, nearly dropping it in her haste.

"Call 911," she whispered into it. "Call right now! Emergency!"

But nothing happened. She tried again.

"Call 911!" she exclaimed. "Come on—hurry!"

Then she remembered, with a sinking heart, that she'd forgotten to plug her phone up earlier. She'd been telling herself to do it before she sat down to watch the movie, but then she had gotten distracted explaining the plot to Spex and hadn't plugged it in.

She had a dead phone in her hands and only a flimsy locked door between herself and the intruder. What was she going to do?