15. Abbey

15

ABBEY

Abbey didn't know why she was talking to the big Monstrum so calmly. After all, he had kidnapped her and dragged her up to the Monstrum Mother Ship to do who knew what to her.

But for some reason, she no longer feared him as she had. Somehow when he held her hand and spoke in that deep, calm voice, she couldn't seem to stay afraid of him. And somehow, she seemed to want to tell him everything. Why was that? She didn't know but she felt herself talking to him anyway.

"I wasn't really looking to date anyone when Henry came along," she said. "I…I was attacked in high school, when I was only seventeen and it took me a long time to get over it."

"What? Another male attacked you?" He sounded horrified but not disbelieving, which was good, Abbey thought.

She nodded.

"Yes, but that was a long time ago. I don't think of it anymore. Only…it made me reluctant to try dating again. But my Aunt Rose was so worried—she's afraid that after she dies I'll be left all alone on my own with no one to take care of me." She made a face. "I've tried telling her I can take care of myself, but she won't believe me. So eventually I caved and signed up for some of the dating apps. But like I said, every time a guy found out I was legally blind, he ghosted me."

"Er…ghosted?" He sounded confused.

"Oh, he stopped talking to me—stopped answering my messages," Abbey explained. "No one wants to date a blind girl—I guess they're afraid I might be a burden."

Solon made an incredulous noise in the back of his throat but said nothing except,

"Go on."

"So after a few months of trying, I figured I was in the clear," Abbey said lightly. She didn't tell him how much all that rejection had hurt her—how worthless and lonely she'd felt. Which only made her more vulnerable when Henry came along…

"Henry was one of our delivery drivers," she made herself say, continuing the story. "Aunt Rose hired him because he was so nice and polite—he was handsome too, at least according to her. He started flirting with me right away—he didn't even seem to care that I was blind." She blew out a breath. "Of course, later I found out he actually liked the fact that I was blind—it made me easy prey."

The big Kindred's hand tightened on hers but he only said,

"Go on," again.

"Henry played the long game and he did it really well," Abbey admitted. "I thought he really cared about me and he never tried anything but a few kisses. But that was mostly because Aunt Rose was around all the time. He waited…" She took a deep, trembling breath. "He waited until she was gone to a Florist Convention to make his move."

Solon's hand tightened on hers again, squeezing convulsively and Abbey got the idea that he was dreading hearing the rest, though she didn't know where that idea came from.

"What did he do?" he asked, his voice slightly hoarse.

"He got me alone in the house—thank goodness I was in my own home and I knew where everything was—and then he tried to…to rape me."

Abbey had to force the words out.

"The thing was, if he'd been gentle and taken things slow, I would have…would have given him anything he wanted," she went on. "I wanted him. He made me feel pretty—desired. I hadn't felt that in so long. And he made me believe he really cared—he spent months earning my trust."

"So he waited until he had you alone and attacked you?" Solon asked and Abbey thought she heard an angry growl in his deep voice.

She nodded.

"He just started ripping off my clothes and…and forcing my legs apart. He called me ‘little blind girl' and laughed when he told me all the horrible things he was going to do to me!"

His hand tightened on hers again, almost painfully this time.

"That son-of-a bitch!"

"It was Major, who saved me," Abbey went on, determined to finish the story—to get it over with. "The funny thing was, Henry had asked me to lock him away, in my bedroom. He said he didn't like how Major looked at him—he used to growl whenever Henry came near me." She shook her head. "I know now that he was trying to warn me. Guide dogs are trained never to growl or be aggressive—they're specifically bred to be docile. But they also train them to do what's called ‘intelligent disobedience.'"

"What's that?" Solon asked and she could hear the frown in his voice.

"It's like…if I told my dog to go forward but he could see there was an obstacle in the way—or maybe we were trying to cross the street and he saw that a car had run the red light and was heading for us even though the signal indicated it was safe to cross. In those situations, he would refuse to go, even if I asked him to," Abbey explained. "Anyway, I didn't lock Major in my room that night—I just told him to stay. So when he heard me screaming in the other room, he broke the command and came to help me."

"Thank the Goddess he did," the big Kindred remarked. "Did he…get to you in time?"

"Barely," Abbey said grimly. "He jumped on Henry and bit him—basically dragged him off of me. It gave me time to call 911, but not before he…" She stopped for a moment, her voice choking in her throat. It was so hard to tell the last part!

"He what?" Solon prodded gently, massaging her hand with his own. "Please, lelka—tell me."

"He pulled out a knife and stabbed Major," Abbey got out at last. "Stabbed him again and again. But Major, he…" She let out a sob and then tried to get hold of herself. "He wouldn't let Henry near me, no matter how badly Henry hurt him. Finally, Henry ran off when he heard the police sirens coming."

She closed her eyes, feeling the hot tears stinging her eyelids. The memory of holding her dying dog in her arms was still so painful—so difficult to deal with. The harsh panting sounds Major had been making and the pitiful little whines…the warm stickiness of his blood on her hands and the wetness of his tongue as he licked the tears from her cheeks as she stroked him and tried to reassure him that help was coming, please hold on, just hold on Major…

"What happened to your service animal?" Solon asked at last.

"He died," she said, swiping with her free hand at her eyes. She might not be able to see much, but she could still cry with the best of them, she thought ruefully. Her eyes were good for that, at least. "He died and Henry got away."

"What?" Solon sounded outraged. "But how can that be? Did your peace keepers—your ‘police'—not go after him?"

"They did, but he'd disappeared," Abbey told him. "But it turned out that Major had saved me from more than being raped that night—he saved my life. Because according to the police, Henry matched the description of a serial killer who preys on disabled women." She let out a shaky sign and ran her free hand through her hair. "'The Wheelchair Killer,' they call him, because he usually goes after women in wheelchairs. But I guess he thought he'd try a blind girl for once—you know, mix it up some." She tried a sarcastic laugh but couldn't get it out. The sound stuck in her throat.

"I have heard of these ‘serial killers' but it's still hard to comprehend that there are human males so twisted they would hurt and kill females not just once but over and over again." Solon sounded disgusted. "Such males shouldn't be allowed to live."

"You won't hear me arguing with that," Abbey said dryly. "What do the Monstrum do with serial killers?"

"We don't have anyone like that," Solon said. "If a male shows a tendency to want to harm or force females sexually he is put to death or banished. We call males like that ‘Broken Ones.' But they're extremely rare—it goes against our very genetic makeup to harm a female."

"What…never? You never have any kind of domestic violence at all?" Abbey couldn't keep the skepticism out of her voice.

"Never," he said firmly. "The Monstrum believe that males and females are equals—women are to be protected and cherished, never hurt or belittled. A male who thinks otherwise isn't welcome in any of our communities."

"Well, that's amazing if it's true," Abbey said doubtfully.

"We worship the Goddess—the Mother of All life," Solon told her. "And we believe that every female has a little bit of her inside—a divine spark that is also worthy of worship." He squeezed her hand lightly. "I believe that with my whole heart, Abbey and I'm so sorry for what happened to you. Did the peace keepers ever catch your attacker?"

Abbey shook her head.

"No. I took out a restraining order against him—not that it would stop him if he decided to come back and finish the job. For months I was so afraid that he was going to. That I would hear him in my room coming for me…" She shook her head and shivered. "I made Aunt Rose check the locks on all the doors and windows three and four times every single night. She finally made me go to therapy."

"Therapy?" he asked and she could hear the confused frown in his voice again.

"It's where you go talk to someone about something bad that happened to you." She gave a broken little laugh. "Kind of what we're doing now, I guess. God, I still don't know why I'm telling you all this!"

"Because I want to know," he said simply. "Because I need to know. Did he ever come back again? Is there anyplace I can find him and make him pay?"

Abbey shook her head.

"No—he's gone for good, hopefully. After the therapy, I started feeling a little better. But then you sent those goons to come take me?—"

"And of course you assumed that I would hurt you, the way the human male did." She could hear the sincere regret and remorse in his deep voice. "Gods, Abbey, I am so sorry. No wonder you feared to come spend time alone with me during our Claiming Period."

"I thought you wanted…what Henry wanted." Her hand tightened into a fist inside his. "You don't, do you? Please—please don't do that to me! I…I couldn't stand it if it happened again."

"Never!"

To her surprise, she felt him move. The big golden blur beside her was suddenly at her feet instead and she realized he was kneeling in front of her. He took her other hand so that he was holding both of her hands in his. He was close enough that she could see the vague gleam of his golden eyes looking at her.

"Abbey," he rumbled. "I swear by the Goddess, the Mother of All Life, that I will never take what you're unwilling to give. Please believe me—you have my word as a Monstrum warrior that you're safe with me and may the Goddess strike me dead if I lie."

Abbey found herself surprisingly touched—she could almost feel how sincere he was. It was like a current running between them somehow.

"All right," she said hesitantly. "But…now that you know I'm blind and…and what happened to me, don't you want to let me go? I mean, I've got a lot of baggage—wouldn't it be easier for you to just send me back down to Earth and forget about me?"

There was a motion in front of her that made her realize he was shaking his head.

"Forget you? How could I ever do that? Abbey, please try to understand—you're my fated mate. I'm not going to give up on you because of something that happened in your past, or because you see differently than I do."

"But…but Solon," she said, using his name for the first time. "I just don't think…I don't know if I can ever let myself be with a guy again—I mean sexually. I know some girls can get over things like…like what I went through, but I honestly just don't think I'm one of them."

"I would never demand that you give yourself to me unless you felt ready and willing. Please give me a chance." She heard the pleading in his voice. "I swear to you I won't touch you if you don't want me to—just let me get to know you—and give yourself a chance to know me."

Abbey frowned.

"What about the different weeks of the Claiming Period?" she demanded. "The Holding Week…the Bathing Week…the, uh, Tasting Week…?"

"We don't have to do any of that if you don't want to," he promised. "And if you change your mind, we can flip it on its head—you can touch me but I won't touch you. Not unless you ask me to."

Abbey gave him a skeptical look.

"Really? You're willing to promise me all that just to keep me around for a month?"

"I'm willing to promise almost anything." His deep voice was hoarse. "You don't know how rare it is, to find your fated mate. I can't let you slip through my fingers if there's anything I can do to stop it."

Abbey frowned, thinking it over. Then she leaned forward.

"Let me have my hands back and then I want you to hold still," she told him.

"All right." Instead of asking questions, he allowed her hands to slip from his and then went completely still before her.

Carefully, Abbey reached for him and put her hands on his face. She knew it was another blind-girl cliché—she didn't really need to do this. But she wanted to feel his features—his expression—she wanted to see if he was really sincere. She couldn't help remembering the smirking smile she'd felt on Henry's face when they were alone together—not that he liked letting her touch his face.

"C'mon, babe—that's enough," he'd say, moving away when she tried to touch him. It hadn't seemed it at the time, but now Abbey wondered if he'd been trying to hide his true emotions and intentions. And she wondered if Solon was trying to hide something as well.

But the big Kindred didn't try to brush her hands away. He knelt in front of her patiently as she ran her fingers delicately over his face, tracing his high cheekbones and strong brows…the broad, flat bridge of his nose and the deep sockets of his eyes. He had short, dense fur that felt silky and smooth against her fingertips and surprisingly long lashes for a man, she thought. His face felt honest—if that made any sense—though it also felt stern.

She didn't think that Solon was the type to joke around a lot—though of course she could be wrong. Possibly his face just felt serious right now because of the extremely serious conversation they'd been having.

His hair was like a lion's mane, wild and silky and full and the twisting horns that grew from his temples felt like living wood. They were pointed at the ends but not sharp enough to cut her finger. She wouldn't have to worry about them much, since he was so much taller than her—there was no possibility of her running into them, she thought.

Through the whole examination he stayed still and didn't complain a bit. In fact, Abbey got the distinct impression that he liked having her hands on him, though he didn't directly say so. It was just a feeling she got from him.

"All right," she said at last, withdrawing her fingers. "I believe you. I don't know why, but I do."

"Thank you." He blew out a breath. "Then you'll stay with me for the Claiming Period?"

"Do I have a choice?" Abbey raised her eyebrows at him.

"Legally, no. But if you say you want to go, I'll let you. I don't want to—I want a chance to get to know you. But I understand that it must be incredibly difficult for you to trust a male again after…after what happened to you," he said in a low voice.

Abbey took a deep breath and considered. Only half an hour ago she would have jumped at the chance to go home. But now, strangely, she felt different. She felt as though Solon understood her somehow—understood but didn't judge—which definitely wasn't a feeling she'd ever gotten from a man before.

Also, the big Monstrum had a soothing, calming presence about him that made her want to trust him, even though she'd sworn never to trust anyone male again. It made her reluctant to leave him because it was so extremely unusual.

"Can I think about it?" she asked at last. "I mean, what if we do a kind of trial run? Give it twenty-four hours and then see how I feel."

His response was immediate.

"Whatever makes you comfortable, lelka."

"Okay. Well right now what would make me feel comfortable is dry clothes and a warm cup of tea." She raised her eyebrows at him again. "Can you do anything about that?"

"I can make you a hot cup of T'sane brew," he responded. "I don't have any clothing your size, but you can wear one of my shirts while I put your own clothes through a drying cycle. I believe because of our size difference it will cover you like the garment you humans call a ‘dress.'"

"All right." She nodded. "But I don't want to change in here—I don't want to risk falling into that pool again."

"I'll take you to the sleeping chamber, if you'll let me," he offered. "But in the meantime, I'll also engage the child-guards on the bathing pool. That will cause a clear barrier to slide over its surface so there's no possibility of you falling in again."

"Okay, well thank you." Abbey nodded. "Er—you'll have to lead me," she said.

"That's fine." She felt the motion as he rose and towered over her and then he reached for her hand. "Would you like to hold my elbow, as you did earlier when we were walking from the ship to the suite?"

"Yes, that works." Abbey rose as well. She felt a little unsteady at first—she'd gone through so many emotions that day she was completely worn out. But then she felt him offering his elbow and she took it.

Wrapping her fingers around his muscular arm, she allowed him to lead her out of the bathroom. She still couldn't believe she'd agreed to stay with him of her own accord.

But it's only for twenty-four hours, she reminded herself. Then I can go back to Earth and Aunt Rose. I'll just give it a day and a night—that's all. Then I'm going back.