10. Yva

10

YVA

T iril’s sweat-slicked skin gleams in the light. The electric hum vibrates through my kams. Many of the lights go out at a particular time every night, leaving only a few to light the way. The humans do it to conserve electricity, but also to indicate that people should be in bed asleep, not roaming around.

The period between dinner and when the lights go out is recreation time for most people. They visit their friends, their siblings, their parents or they go to the gym. Tiril explained that is where the humans who aren’t soldiers train. Though sometimes the soldiers use it too.

We have been training outdoors since dinner.

The others sensed my unsettled mood, but it was Tiril who asked that we practice fighting, claiming that it had been too long since he had trained with us.

This is not our first fight.

But it is the final fight of the evening. I didn’t expect Tiril to be my opponent.

We circle each other, hands lifted, and fingers spread. We are both breathing hard from the previous fights. And I am exhausted, but I refuse to lose.

I’m jamming his signal as quick as he changes it, and he is doing the same to me. Each of us is trying to be the first to make a spark. Because this is just training, we will not send a charge to harm the other. But the first to make a charge will be the first to make a strike. And then we will fight until one of us is pinned on the ground. There are smears of dirt on his skin, and on mine, from the previous fights.

Bruises are throbbing hotspots on my ribs, my thigh, my shin and my cheek.

There are humans watching, no doubt drawn by the spectacle. We pay them no heed. They are no threat.

There. I jam his signal. My fingers tingle and the charge arcs between my hands. It barely exists before he jams it.

Edilk calls my name in case anybody missed my victory.

Tiril mutters a curse. “I will best you, eventually.”

“You did well tonight.”

I don’t let him respond, launching into my tackle. We grapple upright, each of us trying to grip the other and put him on the ground. Knuckles skate over ribs and hands press against chins. His shin collides with mine with a crack that draws gasps from the onlookers. My knee finds his inner thigh, and I take him to the ground.

He puts up a good fight before I pin him.

Edilk calls an end to the fights. “Yva…you have proven yourself to be a champion once again.”

I help Tiril up. “A good fight, brother.”

It’s clear he did some training to improve his skills without us.

“You too. I missed these moments. It was a long wait for my brothers to arrive.”

I placed my hand over my heart, which is beating rather fast, and incline my head at Edilk. “It is a pleasure to be my tribe’s champion.”

It is only then I realize the size of the crowd our fight drew. It is a mix of soldiers who probably thought they needed to be there to control the situation, and women with a hungry look in their eyes. It’s not jerky they crave.

They will all want you to be their champion now. Tiril says.

I grunt, not wanting to answer him. I don’t look at the crowd either. I can sense their excitement.

A soldier steps forward. “Why do you take so long to do anything?”

It is Sunif who responds, his fingers crackling with blue sparks. “When we train. We train to jam the other signal so they can’t make a charge. If it were a real fight, we would release the charge to stun the other warrior. Since we are friends. The first to make the spark gets to make the first attack.”

I look at the guard. “We also use the charge to hunt, sensing creatures’ heartbeats to locate them, before stunning them.”

“It’s amazing what you can do,” a woman says, moving closer. “I’d love to learn more about you.”

I managed not to roll my eyes. “I’m going to take a shower.”

Harper told me it’s called a shower, not a waterfall. As if thinking about her summoned her when I turn, she is there. I did not expect her to watch, given how upset she was with me. I gave her a small smile and a nod to acknowledge that I saw her. She is the only one I acknowledge. I am not cross with her; I am frustrated with everything.

I am trying to fit in and understand the humans, and yet every time I think I am getting close, I realize I am failing. I do not understand how my brothers successfully mated.

Perhaps it was easy for them because they were only a few women, so they did not need to worry about accepting the wrong offer. Though to be fair, Edilk had no choice. None of us expected human women to cause the rut and start the bond. By the time we noticed, it was too late for him. Fortunately, Sabine loves him and he’s more than happy being her accidental choice of mate.

I don’t know how Aldit wooed Ruby, but by the time they returned to our village, they were mated. She is brutally sharp with everyone but him. Did he feel as though he had no choice but to accept?

I want to mate, but I’m afraid of making the wrong choice.

I’ve never been afraid of anything in my entire life, and I can’t admit my fears to my brothers. They have faith in the bond. I have no faith in humans. There is nothing stopping the human women from changing their minds and walking away, leaving my brothers to die a painful death.

I leave my brothers to talk to the crowd, needing to be away from everyone. If there were Honey women watching our fight, I might stay to talk with some of them, gauging our interest. And over several days, perhaps agreed to learn more.

That is what I should be doing with the human women, but I don’t know enough about humans, and I do not want to be answering the same questions about the Honey a dozen times.

I lock my door and strip off my pants. My thoughts on Harper and how easily we talk about the humans and the Honey. Does her watching mean something?

Was she annoyed because she doesn’t want other women looking at me because she is interested? I run my hand over my meq as it thickens. I have not shared my blanket with any of my brothers since they took the human women, and fighting did not work out my frustration.

If she is interested in being my mate, then she should say something…or is she waiting for me to say something? I snarl at the mess that my life has become. Things were simpler before we found this land and these people. Survival doesn’t leave much room for thoughts of the future.

Now there’s too much time to think and worry and want.

Do I want Harper?

I grip my meq and stroke from root to tip, not wanting to admit how much I enjoy spending time with her. If she had walked over after the fight, I would have spoken to her. Perhaps I would’ve invited her to my room.

It’s easy to imagine her agreeing. And I indulge in the fantasy of being claimed. Of her admitting that she wants me to be her mate because of my fighting and sewing skills—as if that is enough.

My hand moves faster, caressing the pleasure bumps with each stroke. I rest my hand on the wall, imagining it is her hand. I slide my thumb over the slit, spreading the leaking pre-cum, sure that I have never been so on edge before. My hips jerk, and my balls tighten, and I drop to my knees, spilling on to my discarded pants with a groan.

For several breaths, I can’t do anything more than rock back onto my heels as the wave of pleasure subsides. Perhaps I need to ask Hrad if he wants some company.

Tell me when you are done because Harper wants to visit you. Edilk’s message buzzes through my kam, and for a moment I’m sure he knows what I was doing—but he is not outside my door, listening to my heartbeat. Unless you do not want to see her.

I grab my pants and shove them into the laundry bag, not sure how to respond.

I want to see her, but I do not want to make a mistake because lust is coursing through my body. So I remain silent as I pad into the bathroom and turn on the shower.

Edilk buzzes me again, seeking an answer.

Is Harper waiting?

I do not want to leave things the way they are, as I consider her a friend. But will inviting her to my room imply something else? And do I want that implication?

If I refuse to see her, it will be much harder to put right the tension between us. So I do what I need to survive.

I will see her.