29

A manic grin covers my face as I glance around at the living room, absolutely trembling with excitement for Dante to get home from running errands. Even though he hasn't mentioned it and has blown me off when I bring it up, I can tell he's been more stressed than normal.

It has everything to do with these upcoming interviews, and I can't pinpoint exactly what he's afraid of. Stuttering on camera? Too much shine on his head?

Accidentally cursing out an interviewer?

Actually, that tracks.

Whatever his reasons are, nothing I do will ease his worry until they're over and done. Once we're past them, he'll be able to breathe easy again, and in turn, so will I. Though his stress isn't ideal, it creates opportunities for me. Chances to distract him from his wayward thoughts.

Earlier, he sent me a text saying that he would be home around five and had a surprise for me. Now, with Dante, that could mean anything from a coffee from my favorite shop to a blowjob, and I'm playing all my chips on the second one.

If I can make him laugh while also getting a chance for him to sneak that thick dick into my backdoor… well, we'll call it a double win and have a great night.

It took me a few minutes to set the stage, scooting the coffee table out of the way and nudging the couch back enough to make space, but it was worth it.

It was so worth it.

During our tour months ago, when we stopped at Dmitri's family's estate for a visit, Tai and I bought a gigantic inflatable unicorn floatie, which we affectionately dubbed Horny. I offered to hold on to it when we left, but it got buried in the back of my closet and, to be honest, I forgot about it.

Until I was packing my bag for my extended stay here at Dante's, and I uncovered it. The instant I unearthed the treasure from my cluttered closet, I swear I was serenaded by a chorus of angels and bathed in a radiant, heavenly glow.

It had been waiting for this exact moment. Destiny.

Puffed up and resplendent, Horny is a regal figure in the middle of the living room. I glance out the window and spot Dante's car pulling around the corner, so I run to get into position.

With my ass facing the door, I strike a Captain Morgan stance by propping one foot on the floatie. A vibrant, furry rainbow tail cascades down my legs, nearly reaching my knees, attached to the metal buttplug nestled snugly in my tush.

Other than my thigh-high socks, which have a pattern of alternating pink, orange, and white stripes, I am completely naked. Bare as the day I was born.

Readying the main deck with the man cannon.

A fresh display in the meat and veg department.

You get it.

My lips are coated in pink lip gloss, and I'm giddy with excitement as I hear the key scrape into the knob.

"Theo!" Dante shouts, and I glance over my shoulder. My smile is positively nuclear as he pushes the door with enough power that it slams into the wall. He stumbles to a stop with his arms loaded full of bags from our favorite Chinese restaurant, eyes wide and jaw slack.

But the food isn't what catches my attention.

Oh, no.

It's who stands right behind him.

"Nooooo!" I shout as my brother shrieks like a banshee.

"Oh, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck Theo ! " Sam squeals as his eyes burn into the ground, flinging his hands like he's gotten something sticky on them.

But the horror doesn't end there.

Absolutely not.

"What the hell is going on?" Another voice rings out from beyond Sam, and I scramble behind Horny's head to hide my naked body as the nightmare gets worse. My other brother, Devon, cranes his neck to get a better view, mischief gleaming in his eyes as they meet mine.

"For the love of everything that is holy, don't look!" Sam screams, still flailing his hands.

"Is that a fucking unicorn?" Devon asks.

"I don't fucking know! All I saw was a goddamned tail sticking out of Theo's naked ass!" He spins to Devon and grabs his cheeks. "A fucking tail! "

Dante is still standing there holding the bags of food as I move my eyes to his. "You didn't tell me you were bringing company!" I whine as both of my brothers act as though the apocalypse is raining blood down upon them. Sam is doing some sort of strange, jerky dance while Devon has the devil's grin tearing across his face.

"I said I had a surprise…" His head is shaking, as if he, too, is struggling to comprehend the sight before him.

"Last time it was that blowup doll, and I thought that was funny!" Sam shouts. "I thought it was funny, Theo! Now it's just weird! What other inflatables are there? Why are there so many?! "

My voice turns shrill as I glare at Dante, ignoring Sam. "I assumed you meant a sexy surprise! Now both of my brothers have seen… things! Things they can't unsee!" I glance up and see Devon snapping a picture, and I squawk like a parrot as I try to hide behind Horny. "He has blackmail!"

Dante's face can't decide if it wants to look horrified or amused, which is extraordinarily rude considering I'm seconds from expiring. "Close the door and let me pretend this never happened," I whine.

My ever-so-stoic boyfriend turns to my brothers, the epitome of calm. "Do you guys mind waiting outside while we put the living room back together?"

"Hang on," Devon says, stepping around a still-flailing Sam. Honestly, they call me the drama queen of the group. "Let me just snap another…"

"Devon Michael Wheeler, if you take another picture of me, I will…"

"What, baby brother? Ride your inflatable unicorn over here and whip me with your tail?"

Oh, so those are the games we're playing, huh?

I reach back, never breaking eye contact with Devon as I pull the tail right out of my ass and fling it at him.

Sam screeches as he sprints down the front steps and disappears into the afternoon sun. We may never see him again, honestly. Devon only cackles harder as he swats it away, relenting as he backs onto the stoop and lets Dante close the door.

As soon as it shuts, I stomp over and pick my tail up off the floor, smacking Dante with the soft fuzz. "I can't believe you didn't tell me they were coming!"

His eyes get wide as I keep swatting him with the fluff. "I told you I had a surprise! How could I have anticipated…" He waves his hand around the chaos. "This?!"

"Do you even know me?!" He bites his lip to contain his laughter as I continue whipping him with the tail. "I am so mad at you! So mad!"

"Baby," he purrs, stepping into my space and gripping my chin. "It is so terribly hard to take you seriously while you're naked and throwing an adorable tantrum." My bottom lip juts out as he leans in to kiss me.

"Make sure Devon deletes the pictures he took."

"On my honor," he whispers against my lips, kissing me again. "Now, go put some clothes on, and I'll reassemble the living room."

"Did you at least love my surprise?" I ask, needing attention after my asshole brothers stole my glory.

He smiles, dragging his fingertips over my lips before he traces over the angles of my cheekbones. "Put the stockings and tail away for later, sweet boy. And make sure you wear that lip gloss when we're alone again. I want to see a nice shiny ring around my cock when I'm done with you."

A loud, long groan leaves me as I cling to him. "Can we just leave my brothers locked out there for a few minutes? You know I work at record speeds."

He throws his head back in a thunderous laugh, telling me he thought it was a joke.

Huh.

It's like he doesn't know me at all.

Like I'm a damn stranger.

"Oh, yeah," I say, completely deadpan. "I was totally joking. Wasn't at all serious."

He just laughs harder, so full of happiness that I finally give up, melting against his chest in a hug. "Fuck, I love you," he says through his laughter, wiping his tears from his eyes.

"I guess we need to rescue my brothers," I mutter as I drag myself away from him, reaching into the drawer to find a pair of sweatpants.

His chuckles follow him as he walks back into the living room, and I can't help my grin as I hear the air leaking from the unicorn. Maybe my plan didn't backfire so terribly, after all.