21

Curious eyes track my every move as the band loads up the bus and takes off into the night, but my lips are sealed until Theo and I can have a conversation. Whenever I glance in the rearview mirror, his pensive gaze is fixed on me.

It would be a complete lie to say that I'm not terrified, but I couldn't stand to watch that guy make a move on Theo any longer.

Professional relationships be damned.

Shortly after the show ended, Monica called, shouting praises because both our album and two of our singles climbed a few slots on the charts. The high that everyone was already experiencing is boosted by the news, so the bus is full of animated chatter as we drive home.

When we're an hour outside of Charlotte, things get quiet, and I glance in the rearview mirror to see everyone passed out in their seats.

Eric and Dmitri are curled up together, Eric resting his head on Dmitri's shoulder with his mouth hanging open. Tai is leaning against the window with his jacket tucked underneath him as a pillow. At the sight of Theo's small body nestled on the seat, a smile unconsciously forms on my face.

"You've got it bad, my friend," Dmitri whispers, and I dart my eyes back to his. He smiles as he leans over and plants a kiss on top of Eric's curly blond hair. "I should know."

"How do you do it?" I ask, and he tilts his head, waiting for me to clarify. "Go through life and not be terrified that you'll do something wrong? How are you not paralyzed by the fear that you might lose him one day?"

A moment of silence passes as he contemplates my question. "How long have you been in love with Theo, Dante?"

"How long have I known him?" I joke, and he gives a quiet chuckle. "Four years."

His nod carries a deep level of understanding. "For seven years, I loved Eric, but we didn't exchange a single word for six of those years. Do you think I wasn't scared to death that I was going to lose him all over again? That I still don't wake up every morning with that nagging voice in the back of my mind saying it could be ripped away?"

"How do you deal with it?"

He shrugs and presses another kiss against the top of Eric's head. "I realized I had a choice—to let fear dictate my life or to have faith that he meant it when he said he loved me. And I chose the second." His eyes bore into mine as he meets them in the mirror. "You deserve to be happy, Dante."

I huff a humorless laugh. "You sound like Theo."

"Trust him."

"Easier said than done," I mutter.

"You'll learn." The confidence in his voice makes me want to believe him, and I'm captivated by the way his eyelids flutter closed as he leans against Eric. They make it look so effortless… so simple. As he drifts off to sleep, he smiles as he mumbles, "He's strong enough to make you learn."

Everyone is snoozing when we pull into the studio. I stare at how peaceful they are as I leave the bus running and climb out, unloading on my own and letting my thoughts wander.

"When did you become such a big softie?" I turn around to see Tai standing behind me, his eyes heavy with sleep as he stretches, arching his back like a cat. Wordlessly, he helps me unload.

When the equipment is stored and exhaustion has its claws in me, I climb on to the bus and shake Dmitri and Eric awake. "Fuck," Eric groans, scrubbing his hands over his face. "Let's get this shit done so we can go get some sleep."

"Bus is already unloaded," I whisper, and he shoots me a strange look. "You looked so peaceful… I didn't want to wake you." His eyes walk over to Theo and then back to me, understanding washing over his expression.

Thankfully, he doesn't say a word, just claps me on the shoulder as the two of them climb off the bus and pile into Dmitri's truck. Tai says goodnight and drives off, and then it's only me and a sleeping Theo. I twist the keys in the ignition, the sudden loss of the engine's purr making the silence ring in my ears. After hanging the keyring inside, I lock up the studio.

Theo barely even stirs as I scoop him out of the seat and transfer him into my SUV. As I drive us home, I can't stop staring at him, wondering if I'm really ready for this.

Wondering if I have what it takes.

We pull into my townhouse, and I take a moment to study his face under the soft glow of the moon. He whimpers and nuzzles into my neck while I gather him into my arms. Once I get inside, I carry him straight into my bedroom and set him onto the mattress before sliding off his shoes and socks. As I wrestle his jeans off his legs, he finally stirs and blinks his eyes open.

"Dante?" I lean over him and push his hair off his forehead.

"Shh… I'm just putting you to bed. Go back to sleep."

"I stink," he mumbles.

"You smell like a man," I whisper and drop a kiss to his temple.

He rumbles another quiet grunt. "Don't wanna be a man… wanna be a cookie."

"You can revert to smelling like a bakery in the morning. Get some rest."

"What about you?"

"What about me?" I ask.

He grabs my shirt, pulling me closer. "Who's going to make sure you rest?"

I lean in and kiss his lips, and the sleepy smile he gives me does funny things inside my chest. "Give me five minutes and I'll be right beside you."

"Promise?" The slurring of his words suggests that he's already drifting off to sleep.

"Cross my heart." My five minutes turn into two because I'm in such a rush to return to him. I speed through the house, securing the doors and closing the blinds before changing into a fresh pair of boxers.

As I climb between the sheets, Theo gravitates to me, curling into my bare chest, and I hate the flicker of insecurity that makes me want to jump up and put on a shirt. He takes a deep breath as I wrap my arms around him and hug him to me.

"Dante?"

"Hmm?"

His mouth opens wide with a long, drawn-out yawn before he snuggles back in. "You really smell like a man."

A surprised laugh escapes me as his lips turn up in a smile, and as I settle into the pillow, exhaustion washes over me, pulling me into a deep, tranquil sleep.