19

Well, this is it.

This is how I die.

Locked inside my own bathroom with a hard-on that pulls every drop of blood from the rest of my body.

They'll find me shriveled up and drained, with a cock the size of an eggplant and a handwritten note that says I have no regrets.

What a fossil that will be.

Anxious about Theo at home alone, I drove faster than I should have, pushing the speed limit until it was bordering reckless. Already paranoid, my irrational brain tried telling me he wasn't safe. There was a loud bang the moment I got inside the door, cementing my doomsday thoughts, and I panicked.

And then I saw him.

I had no right to stay.

Once I realized what was happening, I should've walked away. Should've pretended that I never saw what's now playing on a nonstop cycle in my mind.

Instead, I stood there, unable to tear my eyes from the sight of Theo gliding his body along the length of that dildo.

Everything about him was flawless, from his elegant movements to the power of his lean muscles as he drove himself into oblivion. Then those eyes met mine, and he didn't shy from my attention. Instead of being a coward, instead of freezing and running like I did, he showed me all of him.

Showed me exactly what I'm missing.

It was perfection and everything I've ever wanted, and now I'm stuck here, paralyzed and—

"Dante!" Theo's voice reaches me from outside the bathroom, and the door I'm leaning against rattles as he thumps his hand against it. He's right there, just inches away, so close I can hear his breath.

So near, I shut my eyes and pretend he's here with me.

"I know you're listening." His voice is huskier than it's ever been, and it ricochets through my body, lighting my every nerve on fire. "And I'm not sorry that you saw that. You probably think I should be, but I'm not."

Defiant as always.

Even his refusal to comply is addictive.

There's a silence that I'm unsure how to end, so instead, I wait for him to speak.

Coward .

"I was thinking of you, you know," he purrs, and my head thumps against the door. "I'm always thinking of you. All it took was pretending it was you behind me, and I couldn't fucking contain myself."

His voice registers closer, resonating through the door in a low, intimate murmur. "You make me feel amazing, Dante… quit running and let me do the same for you. You don't have to come out, or even look at me. Just give in for a minute and let me make you feel good."

I swallow roughly and nod, even though he can't see me, but Theo and I have always been so in tune it doesn't matter. "Okay," I whisper.

"That's such a good boy," he sighs, and my lips separate in a loud inhale as need floods my system. "If you want me to stop, knock on the door and I'll walk away. We won't discuss this, and I will never bring it up again."

He's silent for a moment, waiting for my objection, but after a few breaths he speaks. "You can't hide from me, Dante. I saw how much you wanted me… saw how hard you got when you walked in on that. Did you know I was thinking about you?"

My hand drops to my aching dick, palming myself through my shorts and pulling a quiet groan from my throat as he says, "Pull it out."

There's no hesitation as I hook my thumbs into my waistband and push my clothes to the ground. My cock leaps in my grasp the moment I wrap my fingers around it. "You're hard, aren't you? Thinking about everything we could do? We'll do it all, baby, anything you want… but right now I want you to stroke yourself, nice and slow. Will you do that for me?"

"Yeah," I finally force myself to reply, and he responds with a soft, contented purr.

My hand glides up the length of my shaft, enveloping the head of my cock inside my fist, before my hips thrust forward with a low grunt. Driven by the image of Theo on his hands and knees, I do it again, sliding through the cage of my fingers as my eyes roll back.

From outside the door, he lets out a moan, and I wonder if he's touching himself. His voice is breathy as he says, "I can't wait until it's my hands on you, fingers wrapped around that thick cock. I'd stroke you so slowly that you'd beg for more. Do you want that? To beg?"

"Yes," I whisper, and he hums a quiet approval.

"You better not be fucking your fist yet. Take your time." As I force myself to slow down, a soft whimper escapes my lips. The tightness and throbbing in my balls hits me in a rush, and a sticky string of pre-cum dangles from my swollen tip. "That's it, baby." His voice drips with seduction, knowing that I'm obeying his rules. "You're doing so good for me, aren't you?"

"Fuck, yes," I grunt, and he moans again.

"Spit into your palm."

He gives me a moment to comply, and as I grip my cock, a louder groan bursts out from my lips. "Just like that. Hold your hand still, nice and tight, and fuck your fist." My hips thrust faster, the wet slick ringing out through the room.

"Pretend it's me in front of you. What would you fuck right now, huh? My hand? My mouth? Or just put that hungry cock straight into my ass? You can have any hole you want, Dante. They're all yours."

Every drive forward pushes me closer to the edge, and I get louder with each one, until his name slips from my lips on a moan. Struggling to hold back, I'm bombarded with vivid images of his expression as he came, the way his hips thrust and his cock jerked.

"Please," I whisper, and Theo responds with a low, rumbling hum.

"So perfect," he mumbles, and my shoulders push against the door as I thrust harder. "Do you need to come?"

"Yes." My every muscle trembles as I fight to hold back.

"Alright, baby, you can come, but I want to hear you. You're going to tell me just how good it feels."

I relax the tense grip on my body, and an overpowering release rushes down my spine, hitting me with such intensity that staying quiet is simply not an option. "Fuck," I moan as I thrust wildly into my hand, twisting my wrist and tightening my grip until it comes crashing out.

Loud, untamed sounds of pure pleasure crawl from my throat as my cock jerks against my palm, thick streams of my cum showering the bathroom floor. My hand pumps in slow, controlled motions as even more of my release cascades down my shaft and over my fingers in heavy rivers.

Memories crash into my brain of Trent's condescending words, and I realize it's one more thing that Theo doesn't know about me…

"Listen to you," he purrs from behind me, interrupting my negative thoughts. "You're so goddamned perfect. Drain yourself for me, baby, until there's not a single drop left inside you." The intensity of my orgasm makes me forget my insecurities, and as I ride it out, I pant and slouch against the door.

Exhausted and satisfied, I stare at the colossal mess I've created, both in a literal and metaphorical sense. My face flushes and panic overwhelms me until Theo speaks up once more, softer and infinitely gentle.

"Dante…" Emotion cracks his voice before he clears it and starts again. "I understand you'll want to run from me after this. Please don't. Please? Don't push me away. We can wait to discuss this until you're ready, and I swear, I won't make it weird. It doesn't have to change anything, not yet. We'll… we'll figure it out. We always do. Just don't shut me out, okay? Don't leave me. Please?"

There's a quiet thud as he leans against the door, and I realize for his sake, I can't break down. "I will never leave you, Theo. Never." I force as much strength as I can muster, and his relief is a potent thing.

"Clean up, and I'll have a movie waiting when you get out… if that's okay?" Uncertainty rings in his voice, and I only want to comfort him.

But instead, I stay hidden where it's safe. Where I don't have to face him just yet.

Fucking coward .

"That's… that's perfect," I whisper, swallowing past the lump in my throat as I sense him walk away. Heaving a sigh, I twist the faucet until the water runs hot. After I wash the floor, I strip the rest of my clothes and step inside the shower.

I stay under the warmth of the spray for longer than I need to, nerves still firing at the thought of facing Theo. Once I can't justify hiding in the bathroom anymore, I climb out and wrap a towel around my waist. My heart beats in a maddening pattern, undecided if this is a war cry or a victory march. I open the door and enter the hallway, but Theo is nowhere to be seen.

Shaky hands throw my clothes on, and I force my feet to move as I walk into the living room. Theo sits sprawled out on the couch in sweats and a t-shirt, pizza box on the coffee table with a couple of cans of soda. He swivels to look at me and gives me a cautious, tiny smile, and all that uncertainty twists to absolute conviction. "You don't have to keep ordering Hawaiian, you know," he says, testing the waters.

"Better than listening to you bitch if I don't." His grin spreads all the way across his face, even though my voice is still weak.

"That's probably true," he says before gesturing towards the TV. "Action or comedy?"

"Comedy." I finally walk to the couch and sink onto the cushions, and he hands me a plate and a drink without a word. We eat in relative silence, but it isn't as awkward as I feared. After we finish dinner, he stands up, puts away the leftovers, and then sits next to me, watching me with careful eyes as he lies on my shoulder.

My hand raises and presses gently on the side of his head, hugging him to me. He tucks his knees under him and relaxes as my fingers rake through his hair. The longer we sit like this, the easier I breathe, and for the first time, I consider the possibility that it all might be okay.

Maybe the thought of being in love isn't as scary as it used to be.