17

I give Theo a couple of days before bringing up the idea of a restraining order. He's hesitant, insisting that he doesn't believe it'll do any good against someone like Jesse who's obviously obsessed and unstable.

And I get it. A paper shield is just that—flimsy and worthless.

But if this goes any further, if Jesse tries anything else, it's important to have the evidence documented. It takes a little convincing, but Theo finally agrees.

Every night, he finds his way into my bed, and every morning I find myself reluctant to leave his warm embrace. I'm far too comfortable tangled in his arms. He hasn't pushed the boundaries between us since that first day, although he doesn't hide his morning wood.

Oh no, when he wakes up hard, he flaunts it.

Showcases it.

His expression is perfectly innocent, bordering on angelic, as he stretches his back and brushes his cock against my leg. Self-control is a precarious thing, hanging on by a fucking thread that gets thinner every morning.

Yesterday, we picked up his car, even though he rolled his eyes at me for a solid hour while I made sure it wasn't being tracked. Since Theo is perfectly content with me chauffeuring him, we haven't driven it after parking it inside the garage.

I pop my head into the living room and find Theo curled up on the couch in a loose hoodie and a pair of joggers. Headphones loop over his thick brown hair while he types on his laptop. For a minute, I lean against the doorframe and watch him, grinning at the way he chews on the inside of his cheek when he concentrates.

His oral fixations are going to be the death of me, I just know it.

Without looking away from his computer, he asks, "Want to take a picture? I'll be a willing model."

Shaking my head, I walk over to sit beside him. I've learned it's best not to interrupt when he's working, so I'm quiet for a few minutes until he finishes the job. He slides his headphones off and glances at me. "Why do I get the feeling I won't like what you're about to say?"

"We need to go by the police station, Theo," I say, being as gentle as possible, and his face falls.

"Can I keep pretending it never happened?"

"How long will it take you to stop looking over your shoulder if you do nothing?" I ask, and he pouts.

"My evil plan is to live here forever, forcing you to protect me."

"I'll always protect you," I promise, and his indifferent facade crumbles.

"Goddamn it, why do you have to say such perfect things?" he mutters as he closes his laptop and sets it on the coffee table.

"I mean, I can try being meaner if you prefer?"

He looks far too eager, leaning forward and resting his chin on his hands. "Do it."

"Okay, um… fuck you, you're on your own."

"More."

"I don't even care if you get kidnapped." I add a touch of sass, much to his approval.

"More!" he cries, getting louder.

"Your taste in clothing is awful and your makeup skills are subpar."

Theo gasps, holding both hands over his ribcage as he collapses on the couch. "You villain! It's too evil… my heart can't handle it!" I crawl over him, smirking down at his limp body underneath me. "Come to reap the spoils of war, you fiend?"

"Get up, you nuisance," I say, still grinning. "Let's get going. First, we'll stop by the police station, then we have practice, but I'll take you anywhere you want to go afterwards."

That certainly gets his attention. "What if I want a fancy dinner?"

"Then we will get a fancy dinner." I nudge him because he hasn't stopped flopping around on the cushions.

"What if I want ice cream?"

I shake him harder to make him move. "Ice cream sounds fantastic."

He sets those giant blue eyes on me as he grins. "What if I want to eat it off your naked body with a can of whipped cream and cherries?"

"Too far," I mutter, shaking my head. "You always take it too far."

"You said whatever I wanted," he points out, and I realize I'm going to have to pry him off the couch if we're going to get anything done.

I stand and grab his shoes, sliding them on his feet before lifting him into a bridal carry. "It's like making a deal with a demon, I swear."

"A cute demon, at least?" He wraps his arms around my neck and flutters his eyelashes as I toe my shoes on. He shrieks as I reposition him, throwing him over my shoulder and holding him by the back of his legs.

"This isn't how you handle your future bride!" he squeals as we walk out the door, turning a few heads from my neighbors, who watch with curiosity as Theo beats on my ass with his fists. "I'm too cute to be manhandled!" he screams even louder, a giggle interrupting his words.

I whip him off my shoulder and set him on his feet next to the passenger side of my SUV. "You're just cute enough to be manhandled," I purr, dragging my thumb across his bottom lip before giving him a tap on his ass. "Now get in the car."

The visit to the police station is shorter than expected, but the reason isn't ideal. Theo's knowledge of Jesse is limited to what he shared on their few dates, and we have no way of knowing what is legitimate and what isn't.

Even the last name he gave him might be fake—Theo never saw his ID or bothered to look into it. Why would he?

The only things we know for certain are his first name and his place of employment... or at least, where he worked when they met. Theo didn't push him for many personal details, and they drove separately whenever they went out, so he never even saw his vehicle.

The asshole cop who assists us isn't helpful, questioning every detail of our story with obvious doubt and annoyance in his tone. Treated as if he is nothing but a bother, Theo second-guesses himself and his decision to file the paperwork.

The decision that I pushed him into.

By the time we leave, he's quiet, and Theo is only quiet when he's sad.

Frustration makes me clench the steering wheel until my knuckles bleach, hating the somber expression on his face as he stares out the window. Even stopping to grab him a cappuccino from his favorite coffee shop only gets me a fleeting smile. I've become starved for the happiness that Theo carries around with him, and it has made me desperate now that it's been taken away.

Not knowing how to help him is killing me. There's no rulebook or handbook to consult, no instruction manual to read.

There is nothing to control.

There's only me, and like always with Theo, I'm afraid I'm not enough.

We walk into practice together, the last ones to arrive because of our detour to the cafe. Tai, Eric, and Dmitri turn in our direction, but only Dmitri frowns at the expression on Theo's face. He meets my eyes in question, and I give a subtle shake of my head.

Theo is distracted as we play, and more than once, he makes a mistake that we all try to ignore. Without warning, a shrill shriek of fingers angrily scrapes against guitar strings, causing us to stutter to a stop as it screams over the rest of the music. Theo rips the strap over his head and thrusts his bass onto his stand. In his haste, his instrument teeters off balance before slamming onto the ground with a crash that's pushed through the amplifier.

"Goddamn it!" he bellows, and everyone stands frozen as he pushes his hands through his hair and tugs before bolting towards the door. I shove past Eric and chase after him, following him into the dim, chilly drizzle and watching helplessly as he slumps against the wall, sinking to the ground with a thud.

Cautious in my approach, I make enough noise to keep from spooking him. Without a word, I slide down and sit beside him, ignoring the icy rain that seeps through my jeans. His breath is heavy as he sits with his head resting in his hands.

We stay in this position for several minutes, not talking, until his anger subsides and his breathing calms. When he finally speaks, his voice cracks. "Why can't you say something stupid so I can have a reason to be pissed at you? Anyone else would've spouted generic nonsense at me by now. ‘Everything happens for a reason,' or some bullshit."

"Well, I don't think everything happens for a reason, but I can lie and say it if it would make you feel better to be mad at me."

"No, it would make me feel worse, but at least I could get rid of some of this anger by lashing out irrationally." He still doesn't meet my eyes, playing with the tiny rocks on the pavement.

"It's okay to be angry, Theo."

His fists ball up over his thighs, gripping his jeans between his fingers. "I don't want to be angry," he shouts, taking me by surprise. "I don't want the stupid police to be involved, and I don't want them to think I'm a fucking liar. I don't want to be scared, and I don't want to constantly look over my shoulder! All I want is to go back a few weeks and walk the other direction when that asshole flirted with me!"

"There was no way to know—"

"I only did it to make you jealous!" he roars, curling in on himself as I stare in shock. It's like a blow to the stomach as I watch his head droop so far his chin hits his chest.

My throat is tight as I reach for him. "Theo…"

"Never mind," he mumbles, scrambling to his feet.

"No, not never mind," I say, voice rising as I chase after him. He gets inside the door before I catch him, grabbing his arm and turning him to look at me. "Talk to me."

He leans into me, shaking his head and tucking it into my shoulder, as if he's trying to hide. My hands run up and down his arms as I process what he said outside. "Do you blame me for this?" I ask, my voice faint and slightly unsteady.

His gaze whips to mine, his face anguished as he finally makes eye contact. "No… fuck, no, Dante. I shouldn't have said that… I didn't mean it."

To keep my emotions in check, I swallow hard. "You've never minced words with me, Theo. You wouldn't have said it if you didn't mean it. Fuck, I…"

"Stop," he whispers. He grabs me by the neck and tugs me to him, shutting me up with an insistent kiss that steals the breath from my lungs. " Stop . I'm sorry, okay? Remember that whole lashing out irrationally thing we discussed earlier? That's all this was… just me being an asshole."

"But you still meant it," I breathe, trying to swallow the guilt.

He pushes out a long exhale. "I did flirt with him because I wanted you to be jealous, but that's not on you, Dante. That's my problem, my stupid decision, and I'm dealing with the consequences. You've been beyond incredible, and I'm being awful."

"You're never awful," I whisper, dropping another kiss on his lips that he leans into. He nods, the motion moving his mouth away by a fraction, and I chase, securing his lips with mine again. His tongue brushes against my bottom lip, but then he pulls back as chatter from the guys comes closer. Both of us stare for a second, mere inches apart, his eyes heavy but seeded in want.

I scoop him up in my arms, carrying him to the couch where we drop to the cushions together. The others mill around, pretending not to pay attention as he snuggles into me. "Do you want to skip dinner tonight and go home instead?"

"That depends…" he says with a sniffle. "Are you going to let me climb into bed with you?"

"You've never asked before. I wake up, and there you are." His brief laughter is a victory in my book.

"Did you just compare me with morning wood?" he asks, a bit of a smile working its way onto his face.

"I kinda did, didn't I?"

I steal a quick glance at Eric, who's been subtly edging closer, thinking he's being sneaky. "Okay, I get that I'm an asshole for eavesdropping, but did I hear that right? Did you two finally…"

"Theo is just staying with me," I say loudly, cutting off his words as Theo releases another quiet laugh against me. "Give us a minute, Eric, okay?"

"Okay," Eric says after a second, nodding and turning away.

"Wait." Theo sits up in my lap, leaning his back against my chest. He grabs my hands and wraps them securely around his waist, like a seatbelt.

Like he needs to buckle in for what he's about to say.

"Sticks, Tai, come over here." Feigning indifference, they make their way over to join us, pretending they weren't just attempting to listen to everything we said. "You guys deserve to know what's going on."