Chapter 38

Chapter 38

Imogen

Care Bear stare, that's what my friends at school used to call dudes who'd stare at you across a crowded room but never actually approach. I was getting that from Asher right now, his gaze almost as tangible as physical touch. It dragged me away from my job, from what I was doing, stopping me midway through a conversation with one of the clients, having me pause when I was depositing meat on people's plates.

Making me constantly aware of him.

As if that wasn't always the case.

They were like bright points in the darkness, drawing my attention by default, because everything else faded away.

Including Hannah and her kids.

"Immie!"

I was forced to jerk my attention away from Asher, somehow able to see those blue eyes of his long after I turned to face Kaleb, smiling at the little boy's enthusiastic greeting.

"Hey, buddy. Want some roast lamb?"

He sucked in a breath, ready to reply, but Ava moved forward with two plates held out.

"He does, please, Imogen."

There was something so formal, so correct about the girl, but her gaze was something else. Hope and not a little fear there, which she quickly blinked away.

"Don't want meat," Kaleb declared. "Pancakes! Pancakes!"

Ava frowned, her expression growing stormy as she tried to deal with something beyond her pay grade.

"Bears eat meat not pancakes," I said with a shrug, placing meat on both plates, a bit less on the one that would be Kaleb's. "They don't get all big and strong on pancakes. Protein is what gives you big muscles."

He looked down at his stringy arm and then back at me, squinting.

"Really?"

"Really," I replied. "If you want to become a big, strong bear…" I dropped the tongs and held up my good hand, forming claws before growling out the next bit. "Gotta eat meat."

"I want lots of meat!" he told me, looking at the pile of slices with new enthusiasm. "Lots and lots!"

"Start with this lot first," Ava said, moving to put bread rolls and roast potatoes on their plates, along with some salad. "Mum, did you want some? Mum?"

Hannah blinked, shaking her head as if to dispel a haze.

"What?" She looked the food over as if seeing it for the first time. "Oh, I'll just have some vegetables."

"Because you're vegetarian?" I asked carefully.

"Oh, no." She waved that idea away with her hand. "But meat is expensive."

"Not here it's not." I dumped a bunch of slices on her plate. "You need your strength too if you're to be the mum of this growing bear here."

"Yeah, Mum, we need meat!" Kaleb said with a growl.

"OK, OK, I better have some then."

It was as if a light flicked on inside her, bringing Hannah back to life, but for how long? I'd never know because she helped the kids to fill their plates then. Ava watched her closely the entire time before they moved off to eat their meals and I was forced to deal with the last of the diners. But when they were gone, I was left with two choices.

Scrape together another plate of food from what was left or…?

There really only was one option. Asher making sure I got a plate of food was a lovely gesture, so why weren't my feet moving? I delayed things for a few minutes, taking the time to pour myself a juice from a jug, but once that was done, I had to move.

The room was humming with the noise of people eating, making pleased sounds that normally I would've sucked up. Getting so little validation at home, I loved it when people were happy with me at work. Every smile, every kind word helped heal the wounds Mike left. Right now, I barely paid attention to it. Kyle was about to confess something before Asher walked in, something hard, something difficult to process, and I… wasn't sure I wanted to know. At the same time I had to know, some part of me that was always on high alert not letting me relax for a second until I did.

The guys looked up as I approached the table, then shoved themselves to their feet, like gentlemen in a Regency romance. Not a frock coat in sight, there was no reason they would do this now. They seemed to realise this, looking at each other sheepishly before sitting back down.

"So you're done for the day?" Lucas asked, shooting me a sidelong look, and I couldn't help but stare at the sharp slope of his cheek, that full mouth. I'd lost the ability to look at his lips objectively because I knew exactly how they felt, how he tasted, the little helpless sound of pleasure he made when we kissed. I sat down abruptly, feeling a frantic pulse deep inside me at that memory.

"Unfortunately, no." I went to draw my plate closer but Kyle picked it up and set it before me, then handed me some fresh cutlery. "Clean up starts as soon as I finish this."

"We've got the dishes."

Asher was always so abrupt, so intense that he always got my attention, but that stare? It was ten times more powerful now that I was sitting right next to him. There was bravery there, something I frankly envied. He seemed to put every damn part of himself into his gaze without apology, but I was still to discover what exactly that was. Asher almost dared me to do just that.

"Pretty sure you're paying me?—"

"To help out." He cut off my self-deprecating bullshit. "It's what we're all paid to do here. We… work as a team."

"OK, I'm not going to fight my boss over who does the dishes." I poked a roast potato with my fork. "So, did you sort out that urgent issue from before?" I asked Kyle.

"What?"

His confused expression did not bode well. I glanced over at Asher, sure he'd know what I was talking about, because he was the one who interrupted things.

"It was a security issue," Asher replied. "We strive to protect every single person inside this building from external threats, and there are many. I was forced to pull Kyle and Lucas away from what they were doing to brainstorm ways to neutralise it."

"Right." I glanced down at my plate, seeing the food, but not really feeling a need to eat it. "So, did you?"

"Did I what?"

"Neutralise it."

He would've had to. I saw in my mind's eye the way he'd picked up Phil like he was a doll, then tossed him to one side. There was no way a man could have that kind of power at his disposal and not be able to eradicate all possible threats.

"We're working on it, but it's nothing you need to worry about." I caught Asher staring at my plate. "So eat up. You spent all of this time making a delicious meal for everyone else. It wouldn't be fair if you didn't get to enjoy it."

My cheeks flushed, feeling a rush of pleasure at that compliment, and maybe that's what had me spiking a potato and taking a bite. Suddenly, I wanted what everyone else was having. I chewed through my meal with surprising speed, hunger roaring up from somewhere hidden, not letting me stop when I was full. I groaned, feeling the way the waistband of my yoga pants were forced to stretch tight and yet… one look at Lucas, at all of them, evoked another hunger.

What would've happened if Kyle hadn't interrupted? How far would Lucas and I have gone? Would've I have risen up on his lap so he could pull my tights off, then sank back down on the thick, hard cock I'd felt as we made out? Would the lurid colours of all of those horrific videos played across my skin as we celebrated all the physical and emotional beauty two people can conjure with a whole lot of consent and a little love? Would Kyle have opened the door anyway, slinking in, watching us, not the sick shit on the screen, with hungry eyes? Would he have told me I was doing a very good job of pleasing his friend, right before he tilted my head his way?

I'd remember his kisses then too, have them stored away inside my head, a precious memory I'd bring out every time I was bored, tired, or hurting. I'd curl myself around them like a dragon, hoarding each one. The idea played out in my head as the silence stretched on, and this time their stare? It took on a whole other cast. Maybe they saw it, because I was only just starting to see it myself. Before I was hurting too much, too scared, too harassed, too overwhelmed, but this place? It did more than just make me feel safe. By protecting me from Phil, from Mike, from the whole world, it allowed me to feel something I wasn't sure I'd ever feel again.

Desire.

I wanted to know where things would've gone. I wanted a locked door and a better place than the server room, but more than that, I wanted to go right back to where Lucas and I were before we were rudely interrupted. That decided, I got to my feet.

"Better get started on these dishes," I said, but when I went to collect them one handed, the guys swept in.

"We've got this," Lucas assured me. "You should be resting your hand."

"Or…"

I didn't ask Mike out and rarely was the one to initiate sex. It wasn't due to lack of confidence but more because I never got a chance to. No matter how shit things were between us, even minutes after we were screaming at each other, he was down to fuck with startling regularity. I spent most of my time trying to say no and then justify that, which just caused more arguments, so right now, I felt nervous as hell. Then my eyes met Lucas', I saw a curiosity there, but most of all a hunger, one he was trying so hard to keep down. His eyes dropped down to my mouth, catching the way he'd left them swollen, before forcing them back up again.

"Or we could work together to get them done quicker." My words came out fast, because if I paused for a second, I'd lose my nerve. "Then you could show me those comics you were talking about."

My heart sank as he just blinked. Right then I was sure I'd misread the situation, though how does one explain spontaneous boners any other way? As I began kicking my own arse for even suggesting this, he grinned.

"Of course," he said. "I'd love that."

The sigh I let out as we went to work came from the very depths of my soul. I might not be cool and dressed in black leather like my book heroines, and the hot guy I kept eyeing wouldn't turn into some wild animal, but a cute boy that blushed every time I spoke to him? Yeah, I could get into that.