19. Blaise

When he opens the front door, Jackson looks surprised, but then he seems to shake himself off and steps back to let me in. Don’t ask me why I’m here because I don’t fucking know. We’re not friends. This is the last place I should be, but I feel so…broken after what happened in the shower with Cole and Mia.

It’s late, and I couldn’t sleep. I needed to leave the house and couldn’t think of anywhere to go. Jackson… Well, Jackson is the only guy I know, except for Cole, who is into other men. I haven’t told my friends about my fucked-up emotions where Cole is concerned.

Jackson walks ahead, and I follow him upstairs to his bedroom. I’ve never been to the house he shares with a group of other college guys, but it looks like I expected—plain walls, a bed with navy sheets, and clothes strewn on the desk chair. He plops down on the mattress and watches me scan his room.

“Want to talk about it?”

I tense, glancing at him. Why the hell am I here? “I broke up with Mia.”

His eyebrows shoot up, but he stays silent.

Shrugging, I walk over to his desk and pick up an empty can of pop to keep my hands busy. “She cheated on me.”

“Is that really why you’re here?”

I place it back down and lean back against the desk. Jackson studies me beneath his dark lashes, and I stare at my Vans. I should leave.

“Hey,” he says, rising to his feet and walking up to me. Up close, he looks worried as he tilts his head to force me to look at him. “What happened?”

Wincing, I try to look away, but he invades my space and cups my chin. I’m not into Jackson like that, but a pang of loneliness strikes me as he drops his eyes to my lips. My heart thuds hard for all the wrong reasons. For once, I want to feel something real instead of this constant ache whenever Cole is nearby. The fury I felt in the bathroom when I saw him with my girlfriend is gone, and now I’m empty. I should have seen it coming. Mia wasn’t subtle with her glances in his direction. Fuck, I’m not even upset about that. I couldn’t give a flying fuck about Mia or her wandering hands, but Cole… How could he do that to me? I mean, it makes sense… He likes pussy, and I’m a fucking guy.

“You’re okay,” Jackson says, and I lift my gaze. He must see my inner turmoil because when I try to free my chin, he drops his lips to mine, and for a brief moment, time pauses. Soft fingers stroke my cheekbones as Jackson swipes his tongue across my lips. If it were Cole in his place, I’d open my mouth and heart. But it’s not Cole. It’ll never be Cole.

I pull my face away, and Jackson sighs with defeat.

“You’re that into him, huh?”

I don’t ask him who or what he means. My heart is too battered tonight.

Pushing away from me, Jackson walks over to his bed. “Come on,” he says as he lies down and cushions his head with his arm. “Lie down with me.” He draws his knee up and looks up at the ceiling. “I promise not to touch you.”

I stare at him for a beat before chuckles vibrate my chest. I’m being stupid. Shaking my head, I rub my neck as I make my way over to the bed. I feel ridiculous now. Jackson and I aren’t friends, so whatever this is…

“What?” he says when I hover by the bedside.

“This is weird, isn’t it?”

His lips twitch. “What’s weird? You coming over here in the dead of night, me kissing you, or you lying down beside me?”

Amused, I slide my hands into my jeans pockets. “All of it.”

“Yeah, well, I got kicked off the football team because of you. Consider this your olive branch.” He pats the space again, and I crawl in beside him. We stare up at the ceiling as a car drives by outside. “Can I stay here tonight? I don’t want to go home.”

“Do I get a blowjob, at least?”

My chest tightens, but his eyes twinkle with mischief when I look over at him. This is a side to Jackson I’ve never seen before. “Relax, I’m messing with you,” he says, gazing back up at the ceiling. “Go to sleep.”

In the ensuing silence, I study his side profile. “Have you ever been in love with a guy?”

His eyes find mine again, and the mattress squeaks as he turns over on his side. Resting his chin on his palm, he gazes down at me. “I’ve had sex with guys.”

“But have you been in love with one?”

“I don’t think I’ve been in love with anyone,” he replies, shrugging.

“Trust me, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.”

His eyes roam my face, and I fight the urge to squirm beneath all that intensity. He studies me as if I’m a curious specimen. “What’s it like?”

“To be in love?”

He nods, and I sigh as I gaze up at the ceiling again. “It aches…right here.” I place my hand on my chest and move it in a circle. “And I’m powerless to make it go away. I was curious at first, you know? I noticed him when I didn’t notice anyone.” I look at Jackson, at the stubble on his cheek and his dark hair. “I didn’t know how to handle those emotions.”

“What did you do?”

“Annoyed him mostly. I tried to get under his skin. Anything to make him notice me.” I stop short of telling him that I drugged my stepbrother and made him fuck my girlfriend while his girl sucked me off. That feels like oversharing.

“Have you done anything with him?”

A trickle of unease travels down my spine, and I peer at Jackson. “Sexual?”

“Yeah.”

“No,” I lie, feeling oddly protective of Cole. “He won’t let me close.”

“Do you mind if I ask who the guy is who got you this worked up?”

Breaking eye contact, I stare back up at the ceiling. “It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t want me anyway.”

“That’s his loss.” Jackson leans over me to switch off the bedside lamp before lying back down. My eyes are slow to adjust to the darkness. It’s strange to be in someone else’s bedroom and even stranger to smell another guy on the pillows, but I’m too exhausted to care. Within minutes, I’m out like a light.

JACKSON

Blaise sure knows how to sleep like the dead. It’s almost ten in the morning, and he’s still out cold. He must have been warm in the night because he’s removed his T-shirt. Chuckling, I open my camera app and take a quick photograph of him shirtless in my bed. Cole will love this. Fuck me, Blaise makes this too easy. I mean, it would work better for me if he would let me kiss him or fuck him, but a photograph will do nicely.

While Blaise sleeps like a baby, I open my chat with Cole and type out a short message to go with the photograph. The moment I hit send, Blaise stirs, and the muscles shift enticingly in his tanned back as I put my phone on silent. No doubt Cole will blow up my phone with calls and messages soon.

“Fuck, what time is it?” Blaise asks in a sleepy, gruff voice as he lifts his head off the pillow. His dark hair is a crow’s nest, and he has pillow streaks on his cheek. I can see what has Cole so worked up. Blaise is sinfully hot. How do I even know about their little dalliance? Well, Cole wasn’t exactly subtle at the chase. Anyone could have walked by and seen him take advantage of Blaise. It just so happened I followed him, and the evidence is on my phone. I don’t care what it takes or who I have to throw under the bus; I will get my spot back on the team. And in the meantime, why not play with them both? Have a bit of fun.

“It’s ten,” I reply, and Blaise looks at me, balanced on his elbows. I try not to make it obvious that I’m checking out the bulging muscles in his arms or the kinks in his dark hair at the nape of his neck. He looks freshly fucked.

“Shit… I should get going,” he replies, but he makes no move to leave, and my smile grows when my phone vibrates on the nightstand.

Right on cue.

Turning over on my side, I flash Blaise my most charming smile—the one with a dimple and shit. Girls lose their panties every time it comes out to play, much like my cock. His eyes drop to my lips before he can stop it, but then he sits up and leans over to grab his T-shirt off the floor. He’s more flighty than a damn virgin, and I find myself wondering if he’s ever had a guy pound his ass so hard he couldn’t walk the next day. I doubt it. Blaise likes to be in control, and so does that two-faced fucker Cole. No wonder they clash. Until one of them gives in, they’ll continue skirting each other.

“Do you want some breakfast?” I ask as I climb out of bed and strip out of my clothes.

Blaise blinks at me, and I grab a towel from the dresser and toss it at his face before I collect one for myself. “I’ll catch a quick shower, and then you can have one after me.” I don’t wait for his response as I enter the bathroom and turn on the shower. Scrubbing down, I soap up and rinse off before stepping out and tying a towel around my waist.

Blaise is where I left him, looking confused as hell. “The shower is all yours,” I say, and he walks into the bathroom like an obedient puppy. I stop short of calling out, “Good boy,” as the door shuts behind him.

Oh, I love a car crash. Any minute now, Cole will be over, and I can’t wait to watch him flip his shit. With that thought in mind, I pull on a pair of jeans and leave them unzipped. Water droplets cover my chest, and my wet hair dampens my neck as hard knocks pound the front door.

This shit is too fucking good. Chuckling under my breath, I jog downstairs, cross the hallway to the front door, and pull it open. Cole looks up when I lean my forearm against the doorframe. “Well, this is unexpected.” No sooner have the words left my mouth than his fist slams into my cheek. I’ve got to give it to him, he has a mean right hook.

“Where the fuck is he?” he seethes, trying to push past me, but I block the doorway.

“He’s in the shower. Now fuck off home.” Wiping blood from my busted lip, I smirk at him. “I have to say, he has a tight ass, and those sweet fucking moans⁠—”

He goes to swing again, but I shove him away with such force he stumbles down the porch steps and only just manages to grab hold of the railing before he falls on his ass. Jumping to his feet, he storms back up and walks right into me, chest puffed up and all. “I’m gonna kill you, Jackson! You’re fucking dead.”

“Why are you so worked up?” I mock, squaring up with him. “Are you into your stepbrother?”

Blanching, he stumbles back. You would have thought I punched him. His face drains of color as he looks over my shoulder. My peppermint soap on Blaise’s skin hits me before his voice cuts through the tension. “Cole? Why are you here? Is everything okay at home?”

My smirk grows, and Cole swallows as he looks between us. “Yeah…” he says, his voice scratchy. “Your dad is worried about you. He asked me to come and pick you up.”

I move away from Blaise, and he sidesteps me while his Cole stares at me with a broken look I wish I could frame and put on my wall. Leaning my shoulder against the doorframe, I wink at him. Swinging around, he follows Blaise to the car, and I wait until the headlights disappear around the corner.

BLAISE

“Blaise… I know you’re angry. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have cheated on you with Cole, but…you were into it. Please, can we talk? Call me back.”

Lowering the phone from my ear, I delete Mia’s voice message, and then I remove her countless other ones. I don’t care for her excuses. I’m done. Why did I even keep up the pretense for so long? I was never in love with her. She was nothing more than a wet hole, and she kept my father off my back. In fact, I thought she was okay, until I caught her in the shower with Cole. The image of them naked together won’t fucking leave, and the fury that died down, rises back up when I glance at Cole’s hand on the steering wheel. His cracked knuckles grip the steering wheel as though he has a vendetta against it. “What crawled up your ass?” I ask as I pocket my phone.

He snorts, and the sound makes me grit my teeth as I look out the window.

“Why did you do it?”

I swing my eyes back in his direction. “Do what?”

He looks like he’s tasted something sour as his hands wring the steering wheel. “You know fucking well what I’m talking about.”

Frowning, I stare at his side profile until he finally looks at me, and when those dark eyes lock on mine, my heart thuds hard. I cross my arms and say, “No, I don’t. Why don’t you fucking tell me what I’ve done. Enlighten me.”

A muscle tics in his jaw, and he scoffs bitterly. “Why Jackson, of all guys?”

“Jackson?”

We drive past boarded-up shops, but the depressing view outside is the last thing I see when Cole slams his hand down on the steering wheel. “You fucked my friend, Blaise.”

My mouth opens and closes, but then his words register, and a harsh laugh rips from my throat. I shake my head. “That’s fucking rich coming from you. Have you forgotten I found you and Mia together in the shower yesterday.”

“So, it was revenge? Is that it?” Sucking on his teeth, he nods. “You fucked Jackson to get back at me.”

“Get over yourself,” I growl. “I’m so over this.”

“Over this?” he spits, but there’s an undertone of insecurity in his voice. I know him too well—something he seems to forget.

“You’re not into guys, Cole. I get it, okay? You’ve made your fucking point. You want me to stay away from you. Guess what? That also means you don’t get to be jealous.”

“I’m not jealo⁠—”

“Shut up, Cole. I’m done with your excuses. I’m done chasing you and hurting because of you. You want me, Cole? I’m right here.”

Breathing hard, he pulls over by the roadside, and the car idles in the silence.

“I’m here.” My voice breaks. “I’m here, Cole…but you won’t look at me.” The ache in my chest is back, and now it’s multiplied. I struggle to breathe when he stares out the windscreen. “I’m. Here.”

When he stays quiet, I grind my teeth. Please say something. Please look at me.

Pushing open the door, I climb out.

Cole doesn’t follow.

The car stays idling behind me as I kick up the dirt and swipe at my wet cheeks. One thing is becoming clear. I need to get over this stupid crush. Cole’s made his point, and I need to claw my heart from my chest and burn it to fucking ashes. Maybe then I’ll stop hurting.