22. Gabe

CHAPTER 22

GABE

The bed dips, and Ellis stirs. I'm pretty sure he's fast asleep, but his body makes room for me, melting into mine as soon as I settle beside him. I guide his head to my chest and wrap one arm around him to hold him close. My free hand brushes his dark hair away from his face. I bury my nose in his nape and inhale, taking in his warm, musky scent.

We were supposed to have the whole day together, but I ruined it. Just like always. He spent most of the day out with his friends, and for a while I sat on the couch in a jealous funk. I'd wanted to pull him back inside, to hold him against me and feel his lips on more than just my cheek. But I let him walk out, obsessively grumping over how many people were going to look at him today. He looked edible in the same crop top he teased me with this morning, and low-slung baggy jeans that showed off the hem of the satin shorts. I wanted to hold him down and cover every inch of his exposed skin in hickeys and bite marks, including every little patch of pale skin that peeked through the rips in his denim.

He was right about needing space. I can't think when he's around. Alone with my thoughts, I realized that while I'm trying to do the right thing, I'm going about it the wrong way. I can't just give him half of me.

It took a couple of hours of being pissy to work through it. I couldn't figure out what the problem was. Why would anyone be upset about being on the receiving end of regular orgasms and not have to reciprocate?

But the dynamic is so different from anything I've known before. I've never been in a situationship where I wanted to give to my partner very often, where their pleasure meant more to me than my own. Maybe it's a dick thing. I didn't hate eating pussy, but I didn't love it. It wasn't my favorite. It was a means to get something in return. I gave to get. And I honestly can't remember ever being with someone who was genuinely excited to suck my cock. I always assumed it just wasn't something that anyone enjoys except the person on the receiving end.

But I love going down on Ellis, touching him, tasting him, swallowing him, and making part of him become part of me. The mental picture I get of his cum dissolving into my bloodstream makes me feel like I have superpowers. I'm actually happy giving without getting anything in return aside from than the satisfaction of knowing I made him feel good. Getting him off gets me off. That's not to say that I didn't enjoy his touch, or how his eager mouth enveloped my cock. He's the best I ever had, even though neither of us knows what the hell we're doing. But that's also half the problem—I don't know how to do it right without hurting him. An ass isn't a pussy. You can't skip foreplay. Although now that I think about it, maybe I was just a lousy lay. Maybe they were all faking.

Ellis can't fake it, though. He's a shit liar. But a guy can't exactly fake an orgasm the same way a girl can. And he's had plenty of those at my hands and mouth. I just don't think it's enough to make up for what I did. I'll never make up for it .

But I'm selfish. I want Ellis. I can't focus on anything else but how much I want him in every way. It was bad enough before I ever touched him. The curiosity burned like ants under my skin. But the closer I've gotten to him, the more I've let him burrow in. He's fully in my blood now, and I can't stay away.

Elliot will be back tomorrow morning, and I'm not sure what to do about that. I don't like lying to my best friend. He's truly my brother, and I'm terrified this will break us.

If I can have Ellis, will it be worth the other most important person in my life?

Cupping his cheek, I nuzzle into him, my nose against the side of his throat. I didn't mean to wake him, although I'm not sure he's quite awake when he nuzzles back, rubbing his smooth cheek against my rough stubble. A soft, satisfied sound rumbles from his chest, and we both turn toward each other's mouth at the same time. It's slow and soft for a long time, and I keep it that way, even when Ellis rolls himself on top of me and deepens the kiss. It's an exercise in control as much as it is an unspoken declaration that this isn't just physical.

Ellis is in nothing but those satin panties he called shorts, and fuck me if they aren't sexy as hell. They're almost as hot as that one pair of tight, white briefs he has that leave absolutely nothing to the imagination. Those fucking things are probably solely responsible for my ruin.

He rolls his hips, rubbing himself along the hard ridge of my erection. Bridging my hips to press into him, I guide his hips up and down the length. I'm desperate to feel the silky material against my bare cock, but I don't quite trust myself enough yet. For now, I focus on his soft, sleepy pants and moans, swallowing them as our bodies writhe together. We grind against each other until we're sweaty and trembling, both of us leaking through the fabric of our underwear .

Shifting us both, I roll him under me, moving my lips away from his mouth to suck on his neck. I can tell by the sounds of his breaths that he's close, and I've been on the edge all fucking day. I reach between us, freeing both our cocks and pressing them together. Grabbing his hand, I guide it through the mess of pre-cum, and we grip our cocks together. His smaller hand is tight around my shaft as I piston my hips, fucking into our hands.

"Gabe!" Ellis gasps my name as he comes undone, warmth splashing between us. I capture his cries with my mouth, tasting them, fucking my tongue into his mouth with each frantic thrust into our hands.

My orgasm follows his, no longer able to hold out. His name comes out in a hiss before I let go, spilling all over his cock, stomach, and chest. I have to release my hold on our cocks to keep myself from squashing him, trembling too much to hold up my weight on one arm.

" Fuuuuck meeee …" I moan, riding out my orgasm while Ellis keeps pumping the cum from my cock. It's fucking everywhere, so fucking much, pooling on his body as it keeps coming out of me.

I roll onto my back so Ellis is draped over me. Straddling me, he cups my face and kisses me senseless, slipping and sliding against me as our combined sticky mess trickles down my sides.

"God, I love being covered in your cum," Ellis groans, skin plastered to mine and breathing heavily. My cock twitches, spitting out a tiny bit more just for him.

This is another dynamic that I've never had before, a difference in being with him that I didn't properly appreciate until now. "It's not too much?" I try to keep an edge of humor in my voice, so I don't sound too pathetic, asking for reassurance in a self-depreciating way .

"Fuck no, I love it." I believe he loves it, and it makes me feel strangely proud of one of my biggest insecurities. "I probably like it too much," he groans.

"You gonna be my little cum slut?"

" Fuuck ," Ellis moans into my neck, where he's collapsed against me.

I chuckle, gathering some of the mess that's squished out from between us and smearing it between the exposed part of his ass cheeks. My hand pushes beneath the satin shorts, rubbing up and down his crack. "Don't worry, baby. There's a lot more where that came from."

He says something, but it's muffled into my neck, and when I try to get him to repeat it, he shakes his head vigorously, refusing. He's laughing, so I'm not worried he's upset about anything, but I want to know what he's thinking.

"Tell me," I say, pressing a finger against his hole.

" Nynggh . Fuck. More," he begs. I rub circles over it, but don't push. He rocks back, trying to push against me.

"Tell me," I say, teasing my finger inside again before letting up.

"It's embarrassing," he whines.

I huff out a breathy laugh. "I don't see what you have to be embarrassed about. If anything, I'm thankful you want to be my filthy cum slut. It makes me feel like I don't have anything to be embarrassed about, either."

"Why would you be embarrassed?" he asks, disbelief laced in his tone.

"It's not exactly normal… the amount. It's a medical thing." Ellis's head lifts to look down at me, but I pull his head back down. My other hand gathers more cum to add t o the mess I've made of his ass. "It's nothing serious. I just make more jizz than most."

I also have a markedly higher sex drive. And when I come really hard, I sometimes get a little dizzy. The last time that happened was the night I mindlessly plunged inside of Ellis, vision black, the instinct to push deeper, to get as much of myself inside him as possible so I could hose his insides. Tearing into him just to get my cum inside him, making him bleed in the process.

Ellis breaks through my morbid thoughts before I can so much as think of running away again. "There's something kind of primal about it. I, uh…" he pauses, clearly unsure if he wants to admit to whatever embarrassing thoughts. I sink the tip of my finger inside to coax it out of him. I've gotten to know his body better these past couple of weeks, how to watch, listen, and feel for every tiny reaction to my touch. "Oh fuck," he breathes out. "God, more, please."

"Tell me what I want to hear, baby," I say as I tease deeper, just barely brushing over his prostate.

"I love how much there is. I want to be covered in your cum all the time," he grunts, rocking back on my finger. "But not just on the outside. I want it inside me. A lot of it. All the time."

My balls thump, and this is why I can't forgive or trust myself fully. Because even now, as my fingers are pushing my cum into his perfect little asshole, my cock wants to throb to life just thinking about how much I want to come inside him again. Even knowing how badly I hurt him, and making myself sick with guilt and regret, I still want to fuck him full of my jizz. Jesus, I'm fucked up. Do I have a breeding kink? Obviously, I can't get Ellis pregnant, but damn if the idea doesn't make my dick harder than fucking steel all over again.

My eyes flutter shut as I slide a second sloppy wet finger inside him. "You want me to fill this perfect, tight ass full of my cum? Breed this tight little hole over and over again?"

"Oh, fuck!" Ellis gasps before busting all over me.