Chapter 5

" A nd… are you completely sure this is okay?"

Margot knew it was, perhaps, a little late to be asking this – again – now, as she was following Levi up the curving stairs that led from the shop she'd first met him in to the small – he'd told her about ten times how small it was – apartment above it.

She'd definitely have to let her mother know she'd been quite mistaken about the people in the non-magical world.

Her mother had warned her repeatedly before she'd set out on this journey about how dangerous the people were here, how Margot should watch her back at every turn and make sure to treat everyone she met with a healthy dose of skepticism, along with a lot of other dire imprecations besides. But everyone Margot had met so far had been so… well, nice!

Perhaps it's just Girdwood Springs? Margot thought, as Levi paused on the steps before a wooden door. Certainly, Margot thought if she lived in such a place, she'd find it quite easy to be in a good mood all the time too.

"It's really fine," Levi said, as he remained paused in front of the door. "I just don't want you to get the wrong idea. This place is… well, I guess you'll see. And believe me, I won't be offended if you want to find somewhere else after you see it."

Margot sincerely doubted that . Aside from anything else, it meant spending more time with Levi. She really never had met anyone like him before.

She'd known wizards so powerful their magical auras could be felt from miles away, and of course she'd met dozens of handsome men in the past too. But even if she'd noticed their looks, they hadn't, well… done much for her. Even if they'd noticed her to begin with, which most of them hadn't.

She simply wasn't a good enough witch to attract anyone's attention, Margot thought gloomily. Looks weren't everything, or really that important at all. While other witches her own age were getting offers of magical alliances or research partnerships, no one had ever asked her for anything like that. She'd kind of given up on the idea that anyone ever would.

No one would ever want her that way, and she knew it was a concern for her parents. That was why she had no choice but to succeed in her current mission, too. She didn't want to worry her parents – she knew their own magical alliance was one of the most celebrated in the whole of the magical world, and it had yielded so many magical discoveries it made her head spin to think about it.

She knew they'd had high hopes for her, too. But it seemed like she'd only ever been destined to disappoint them.

She was already twenty-six, and she still hadn't even managed to graduate from her course of study, at an age when most other witches and wizards had already made at least one or two discoveries that benefitted the study of magic, or at the very least graduated from their study.

So I have to find the flos nivis, Margot thought. I simply don't have any other choice.

Well, as soon as you stop eating cakes and cavorting around Christmas festivals.

Margot jumped at the sound of Monty's voice in her ear.

Montague Hieronymus Bosch! And where exactly have you been?!

Margot knew Monty was more than capable of looking after himself, but it was easier to scold him now than to admit that he kind of had a point.

She hadn't really needed to spend all that time eating cake and looking at the Christmas festivities. As much as she'd insisted it was research, Christmas really didn't have anything to do with finding the snow flower. She'd simply wanted to satisfy her own curiosity – and to spend more time with Levi, with his sleek dark hair, his chiseled cheekbones, his absolutely criminally blue eyes and broad shoulders –

Margot cut her own thoughts off. She really didn't need to be thinking them right now, especially when Levi was now unlocking the door to the apartment he'd invited her to stay in, a slight grimace still on his face.

"Oh," he said, glancing back at her as he opened the wooden door. "Your cat's back."

"Yes! Finally," Margot grumbled, shooting Monty a glare. "Sometimes I feel like he's not so much a familiar as a… a cat who just wanders in and out as he pleases."

"Sounds just like a cat," Levi said, a small smile ghosting across his face. "Anyway, prepare yourself for what you're about to see, I guess."

Levi made it sound like she was about to see something dreadful – but what Margot saw when he opened the door was one of the most truly amazing things she'd ever seen in her life.

The apartment was small, true, just like he'd said it would be. There were chintz curtains drawn across the windows, framed by heavier, dark red drapes that clashed a little with the mustard yellow wallpaper, patterned with small blue wildflowers. A worn green rug stretched across the scuffed wooden floorboards. Little glass-doored cabinets lined the walls, filled with small porcelain objects and other tiny curios. A sagging dark green velvet couch sat in the middle of the room, covered in knitted blankets and raggedy cushions.

But aside from that, almost every surface of it was covered in books – books big and small, long and short, tomes to novellas.

Margot blinked, staring around her.

"Sorry about all this," Levi said after a moment of silence, the grimace back on his face. "Like I said, I'll do anything I can to help you find somewhere better –"

"Are you kidding?" Margot burst out, before she could stop herself. "Where could be better than this?!"

Without thinking, she walked past him and into the room, picking up the first book she saw, something entitled The Duke of Passion and which had a kind of, uh, racy cover, featuring a shirtless man – who, Margot fancied, with his tumble of dark hair and chiseled features, rather resembled Levi himself – embracing a woman whose heaving breasts were barely contained by her ragged bodice – before she put it down and picked up the next one on the pile, which seemed to be a different kind of book altogether, the cover featuring a gloved hand holding a bloody knife poking through a doorway, the title Death's Doorstep splashed across the cover in bright red letters, followed by the words Knock, knock… you're dead!

Fascinated, Margot picked up book after book, each one more intriguing than the last.

"Wow. I guess you really are a book lover," Levi said, and Margot jumped a little at the sound of his voice.

"Oh – I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude," she said contritely, as Monty leapt from book pile to book pile, without, of course, disturbing a single one. "Do these all belong to you?"

"Well… technically yes, I guess they do, now," Levi said, coming to stand next to her, frowning a little as he examined the cover of The Duke of Passion. "But as I mentioned, this place was my great aunt's. It seems like she kept the books she couldn't bear to sell up here – or she just liked reading them before she sold them. But it seems like her ‘To Read' pile had gotten a little out of hand."

"I can see why, with so many interesting things to read," Margot murmured, looking around, as Monty settled himself on what looked like the mantlepiece of a large fireplace – which was unusable, Margot thought, because the grate was, like everywhere else, completely filled with books.

"And I guess I can't say Great Aunt Aida was the most organized of people either," Levi said. "It'll take me a long time to sort through all of this stuff and get it packed up so I can sell the place."

Oh yes… of course. He mentioned that, Margot thought, as she put the books she'd impulsively grabbed back down. She supposed he must have had a whole life of his own, somewhere else. The thought made a coil of tightness wrap itself up inside her throat, though she couldn't say exactly why. He probably has a… a wife, and children.

The thought should have made her happy, the idea that Levi had a happy life elsewhere. And of course he must have – she couldn't imagine a man like Levi, so handsome and kind, wouldn't have been snapped up already by some lucky lady chimera shifter.

But instead, it only made her feel more depressed. She wished she could understand why, but Margot couldn't explain it to herself at all.

I suppose it's just because everyone else seems to have their life figured out, except me, she thought glumly. Even the woman on the cover of The Duke of Passion seemed to know exactly what she wanted, and was almost certainly getting it.

"I'm sorry. I did mention the place was small. I really can try to find somewhere else –"

Margot looked up, blinking in surprise, as Levi ran his fingers through his coal-black hair, a strangely desperate expression on his face.

She realized her glum thoughts must have been clearer than she realized on her own face, and that Levi must have interpreted them to mean she wasn't happy about staying here, now that she'd actually seen the place.

"Oh – no! This place is wonderful ," she said, meaning it. "It's really very cozy and sweet. Of course, I'll have to clear a few of the books off the sofa so I can sleep on it, and –"

"Sleep on the sofa? No, that won't be happening. You'll be in my bed," Levi said, shaking his head.

Margot stared at him, feeling a flush creeping up her cheeks.

Did he just say… in his bed? With him? Surely he can't mean that – but then again –

"I mean… you'll be in the bed," Levi blurted out in the next moment, cutting off her thoughts before they could get too far away from her. "I won't sleep in it. I'll be the one on the sofa. Or downstairs, in the shop."

"Oh, I see," Margot said, her heart sinking a little. But then, of course, hadn't she just been thinking Levi must already have a partner? "No, no, that's perfectly proper. I didn't think otherwise! Your wife must be very lovely after all –"

She cut herself off as she noticed the odd look Levi was giving her.

"My…" He shook his head. "Margot, I'm not married. I don't have a wife."

Surprise rippled through Margot as she looked at him.

"How can that be possible?" she asked, before she could think better of it – but then, she often let her mouth run away with her, saying things before she had a chance to consider whether it was really a good idea or not. "You're so… so…"

She gestured helplessly at how so he was – just for once, she couldn't find the words to describe just how incredibly good-looking he was, or how kind he'd been to her. It made her heart speed up in her chest, just as he had from the very first moment she'd laid eyes on him through the book-sized gap in the shelf after she'd almost concussed him.

Levi coughed, turning away, but before he did, Margot thought she glimpsed a flash of pain in his eyes.

"Well, that's very nice of you," he said gruffly after a moment. "But it's just not the case. Where I come from, I'm not considered a catch, to say the least."

"But I can't imagine that's true," Margot blurted out – but really, she couldn't. Wouldn't anyone feel themselves lucky to have a man like Levi by their side?

"Well, it is." Levi's voice was hard, and Margot snapped her mouth shut so quickly her teeth clicked together.

He sighed, shaking his head a little. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you."

"Oh… no, you didn't," Margot said – and really, he hadn't. "It's just that… well, I suppose I was a little surprised to hear you say that. You're just so… kind . I don't know how I would have gotten along without your help. To begin with, I'd be off trying to look for a waystation that, thanks to you, I now know I wouldn't have been able to find. And you took me to the Christmas markets where I got to experience something really magical and eat the best cake I've ever experienced in my life. And –"

"Margot, I can't shift," Levi said, cutting her off, and Margot could hear the deep throb of pain in his voice as he said it. "And where I come from, a chimera who can't shift isn't of any use, to any one. Not to other chimeras, and definitely not to –"

He cut himself off, shaking his head.

"Oh," Margot said, understanding finally rippling through her. She felt embarrassed now that she'd practically forced him to tell her something that obviously pained him so much. "Levi, I'm sorry. I truly am."

"Don't be," Levi said, shaking his head. "You didn't know. It's not something I really enjoy telling people – and I usually don't have to, since other chimeras can see it with a glance. You were only being… sweet. But it's just the way things are. It doesn't matter what else I am – or what you might think I am. Without being able to shift, I'm just a failure."

That's not true at all! Margot wanted to protest, but really, she felt she'd put her foot in her mouth enough for one evening when it came to Levi. It was saying things like that that had forced him to admit something he'd clearly been reluctant to tell her to begin with. She had no desire to cause him any more pain.

"You want to talk about failure, I'm sure you have nothing on me," she sighed instead, sinking down onto the one tiny bit of sofa that was relatively free of books. "It seems like I can't help but disappoint everyone around me at every turn."

Now it was Levi's turn to look baffled. "I don't see how that can be true," he said, his handsome brow creasing as his eyebrows drew together. "I don't see how anyone could ever feel anything other than happy when they're around you."

Margot almost smiled at his words, and certainly, her heart sped up a little.

"I guess now it's my turn to tell you something I'd rather not," she said, with a tiny, slightly bitter laugh. "I'm just not very good at magic. And my parents are… well, let's just say they're kind of a big deal in the magical world. They expect so many great things from me. But I just can't do it. Everything I do ends in disaster."

Levi was still frowning. "How bad could it possibly be?"

"I set my professor's beard on fire," Margot told him.

That at least gave Levi pause.

"Well… I'm sure you didn't mean to," he said after a moment.

"Maybe it would have been better if I had meant to," Margot muttered darkly. "At least that way I could have counted it a success."

Levi stared at her for a moment, then he burst into laughter. "Well, I have to admit, you make a good point."

Despite herself, Margot felt her own lips twitching into a smile. She couldn't help it – now that she thought about it, she realized that this was the first time since they'd met that she'd heard Levi's laugh – or, really, seen him smile, more than a small half-smile at best.

And, she realized, she'd really like to hear him laugh and see him smile more. As much as she possibly could, in fact.

"One day I should try to tell you about all my other attempts to do things that just ended up causing problems," she said, shaking her head. She'd gladly tell him all the stories she had, if it meant she got to see him smile that gorgeous smile, that made her heartbeat pound in her ears and her stomach grow tight with warmth. "Maybe the ones that caused less bodily harm to the people around me, though. Like the time I tried to develop a spell to make magical plants grow more quickly, and just ended up blowing the roof off the herbology department's greenhouse."

"Sounds like quite the story," Levi said, still smiling. "I'm not sure I have anything that can compare to that."

"I got suspended, and kicked out of herbology class," Margot moaned, cradling her head in her hands. "It was so embarrassing!"

"You want to talk about embarrassing," Levi said, "Try hearing about the time I tried to – for the first and only time in my life – participate in the Christmas cooking with my family, and almost burned down the kitchen because I didn't realize flambe-ing Christmas pudding is not a skill most eleven-year-olds possess."

Despite herself, Margot cracked just the tiniest bit of a smile. "Well, at least you had the excuse of being eleven," she said, with a small giggle. "And I guess we have, well, setting things on fire that probably ought not be in common."

"That's true," Levi said, sighing a little. "Believe me, they never let me live that one down." He glanced at the box of cakes that Margot had set down on a pile of books when she'd impulsively snatched up The Duke of Passion. "Speaking of cake, though, perhaps we should get those into a more air-tight container."

"Oh… is that to keep them fresh? I was thinking I'd just, you know, cast an ageless spell on them," Margot said, cocking her head. "It won't last forever, of course, but it'll certainly stop them from getting stale for a couple of weeks."

Levi's eyebrows shot up, but then, he shook his head. "Oh – of course. That's what I always do with my leftovers. I'm always casting ageless spells on them."

He's teasing you, just so you know, Monty loftily informed her from his place on the mantlepiece, where he was haughtily cleaning his already always pristine paws.

I know that! Margot snapped at him. But it wasn't in a mean way – he's being funny. Not that I expect you'd know anything about that.

Monty, for once, had nothing to say to that, so he turned away, his tail held high, as he usually did when he knew he was at a verbal disadvantage and didn't want to admit it.

"You can cast that spell without knocking the roof off, right?" Levi asked, and this time he did sound a little concerned, and Margot didn't really blame him.

"Oh yes, of course!" she hurried to reassure him. "It's a very simple spell. I've known it since I was a child – I've never blown anything up with it. Well… not yet, anyway."

She shut her mouth quickly, but she could see the crease between Levi's dark, handsome brows deepening.

Quick, cast the spell and show him you can at least do something right!

Raising her hand, Margot curved her fingers round in a waving motion into her palm, feeling her magic gathering within them, the spell a warm, glowing ball. Then, she released it, casting it toward the box of cake Sylvie had so generously gifted her, enveloping it for a moment in a blue, shimmering light that glowed brightly for a moment before fading away.

"There! All done. No explosions, roof still intact!" Margot said, turning to him with a smile. "It's really a very useful spell! Sometimes when I was studying especially hard, I'd make meals and forget about them – but thanks to that, they'd still be just as fresh as when I made them."

"Well, I can't deny the roof is still on the house," Levi said, with a smile. "And Sylvie really did give you too much cake for just one person to eat in any kind of timely fashion, so the spell really is a useful one. I have to admit, I was expecting you to say ‘Alakazam' or ‘Hocus-pocus' or something, though."

Even though Levi's words were light and teasing, Margot couldn't help but feel her heart sink a little as he spoke.

Just one person? Does that mean he thinks I won't be sticking around to share it with him? But that was the whole point of Christmas! Sharing it with – with –

Margot's thoughts trailed off as she realized she wasn't quite sure how she should think of Levi. He was unbelievably kind, astonishingly handsome, and he'd let her into his home – even if, as he'd said, it was really his Great Aunt Aida's home – even though he didn't really know her at all.

And Margot had to admit, she'd been hoping she'd get to spend more time with him. Not just eating cake, either, if the heat that flared in her belly every time she looked at him was anything to go by.

And at some point, maybe you could remember why exactly you're here, Monty reminded her with a twitch of his fluffy tail, as he ambled his way across the rug, twining himself between the piles of books that littered the floor.

Margot blinked.

Of course. The flos nivis. The snow flower.

She couldn't forget about that. She had to find it, and then return to the magical world to show off her triumph.

But going back will mean –

Almost as if he'd read her mind, Levi said, "Well, you said you'd have to leave here before Christmas, so I guess you'll want to get an early night so you can be up bright and early to explore the Christmas market some more. Though if you're here to research Christmas, is there a reason you won't be sticking around to observe the day itself?"

"Oh… goodness," Margot stuttered, even as her dismay grew as she thought about the fact that finding the flos nivis and going back to the magical world would mean never seeing Levi again. "That's not really why I'm here. I have to admit, the Christmas thing is just… personal interest. No, I'm supposed to be here for a research project that has nothing to do with that. I just let myself get distracted for a bit, I suppose."

Levi cocked his head. "So what's your project actually for, then?"

"I need to complete it in order to pass my studies and finally graduate as a full-fledged witch," Margot said, feeling hopelessness welling up inside her. She stared down at her hands, knotted in her lap. "But it won't be easy. I need to find a certain kind of flower, called the flos nivis, or snow flower – it's very rare. It only grows under certain conditions, and it flowers but once a year, when the season is at its coldest. It doesn't grow in many places, but when I was searching through the ancient tomes, they named this place as one of them."

"This place? You mean Girdwood Springs?" Levi asked, still frowning.

"Yes, though that isn't what it's called in the herbology tomes," Margot said. "There, it's called the Mountain of Sources – and I'm not even sure that this is the right place. I did as much cross-checking as I could, and had to match up a lot of different maps and instructions for how to get here. It's my best guess, though – but I guess I'll only be proved right if I can find the flos nivis . But even then, given it's so rare, even if I'm right I may not find it."

"I can imagine," Levi said, nodding. "So… this flower, I'm guessing, has magical properties of some kind?"

"Oh, yes," Margot said, nodding fervently. "Well, that's what the tomes say, anyway. But it's so rare and hard to find that it seems like no one's exactly sure what its magical properties are anymore, only that it's very powerful – that's why I want to find it. If I can bring one back, even a single bloom, it'll be something the whole of the magical world can study, to find out what it actually does ."

"I see," Levi said, his lips curving down into a frown as he gazed toward the window, with its half-drawn chintz curtains. Beyond the panes of glass, Margot could see flurries of snow falling from the sky – something she'd never seen before until today. It was enchanting.

"Well, the issue I can see here is that going up the mountain in this weather could get a little dangerous," Levi said after a moment of watching the snow. "All the hiking trails are very much closed at this time of year, and I'm guessing if this flower is so hard to find, you won't be finding it along any of those anyway. Or on any of the ski fields that are open at this time of year."

"Oh… I suppose you must be right," Margot said, deflating a little. This was yet another thing she'd read about, but, she guessed, she'd failed to appreciate the reality. She'd simply been so determined to find the snow flower she hadn't thought about, well… the snow.

"But I can't go back without it," she muttered after a moment, as her determination sprung to life within her once more. "I just can't. This is my last chance. If I don't pass my research project, then I won't graduate – I'll never be a proper witch. My parents will be so disappointed, and Monty will be reassigned as someone else's familiar. I really can't let that happen!"

"No, I can see why that would upset you," Levi said, as he watched Monty sliding one of his great aunt's porcelain lambs toward the edge of a cabinet with one fluffy paw – though he stopped when he realized he was being looked at.

"Yes. Monty's been my best friend for years and years now," Margot said, gazing at the cat fondly as he tried to appear insouciant in the face of his plans of destruction having been interrupted. "He's always been there for me, no matter how many failures I've had or how discouraged I've been."

"Then… you really do need to find this flower and go back to the magical world," Levi said quietly, gazing at her with his blue, blue eyes.

Margot looked up at him, a tight feeling in her throat. Yes, I really do – she knew that was the right answer, and the answer she should be giving him right now. But somehow, she couldn't force the words past her lips.

If I go back, I really won't see Levi again, she thought as she let her eyes drift over him, over the blackness of his hair and his beautifully chiseled features, over the broadness of his chest and shoulders. But… it's not like I can ask him to give up his whole life and come with me back to the magical world either. And if I don't go back, can I live with knowing how much I've disappointed everyone? And not going back would mean giving up Monty as well, and the dream I've worked so hard for for so many years, of becoming a full-fledged witch…

"I – I guess I do," she eventually managed to stutter out, though she knew she sounded less than convinced of this. But right now, her heart just wasn't in it. She wasn't sure why she felt such a connection to Levi – who was, after all, a man she'd only just met – but she did.

"Then I'll help you."

Margot looked at him, blinking, surprised at the determination in his voice. He looked just as determined as he sounded – his mouth, with its full lips that offset the hard cut of his features, was pressed into a line, his eyes lit with purpose.

"I don't know how exactly I can be of much use to you, but any way I can help you, I will. You shouldn't go out onto the mountain alone, in any case – you'll need some help. And I don't know if you'll get it from the authorities here. After all, they have a responsibility not to allow people onto the closed tracks during winter, and they'd only be doing their jobs preventing you from going. But I think this is a special case, if it's really what you need to do."

Margot could feel her eyes growing wider with every word Levi spoke.

He might not have turned out to be a wizard-errant after all, but clearly he was just as gallant as the ones from the stories of old, who were always willing to assist anyone with any magical quest they undertook, no matter the difficulty or danger.

Did I really find a man who's just like the ones from the tales I grew up with when I was a girl?

Margot had always dreamed of that kind of thing – the wizards and knights from the storybooks of her childhood. But she'd never really thought anyone like that could really actually exist.

"Really?" she asked, her fists clenched together on her lap. "You really don't mind helping me?"

"Really," Levi said, with a firm nod.

"Oh, thank you! "

Before she really knew what she was doing, she'd bounded to her feet and thrown her arms around Levi's shoulders.

She hadn't meant to – it was just that she'd been so demoralized before coming here, and despite the joy of everything around her and how excited she'd been by learning about Christmas, about everything about the non-magical world, she'd quickly begun to realize just how impossible a task it was she'd set for herself. To have someone like Levi offering his assistance – well, it was a little hard not to be overwhelmed by joy, and the impulsive need to – to –

Um.

It was only a second after she'd flung her arms around him that Margot realized just how close Levi was to her – his body was pressed against hers, firm and warm, the broad plane of his chest rising and falling with his breath. His warm breath, which was currently ghosting over her face, making the strands of her hair that had escaped their braid over the course of the day tickle against her skin.

And then there was the way he smelled – soft and masculine all at once.

And his lips were right there, so close to her, slightly parted, as if he were just on the verge of gathering her up in his strong, muscled arms and kissing her –

"Margot," Levi whispered, his voice husky, as she felt his large hands come up, resting gently against her waist.

Margot felt a hot shiver pass through her at the sound of his voice, and all at once, she realized she wanted him to kiss her – more, possibly, than she'd ever wanted anything before in her life.

Involuntarily, her eyes flickered down to his parted lips.

Is he going to kiss me? Please – let him kiss me –

She closed her eyes, waiting – only for Levi to take a step away from her, his hands falling from her waist, his long, dark eyelashes flickering as he blinked.

"Margot, we should get some sleep if we're going to head out early tomorrow," he said in a strangled voice, as he moved, rapidly, toward the door. "The bedroom is just through there." He gestured vaguely at a door on the other side of the room. "I'll just be downstairs if you need anything. Have a good night. Sleep well. See you in the morning."

And then, he disappeared through the door that led down to the stairs, closing it softly behind him, and leaving Margot staring in his wake.