Chapter Five

G awain enjoyed Cherish’s recital, for her voice was soft as a gentle rain and her fingers were nimble and light upon the piano keys. She played two popular songs and encouraged others to join in singing along with her.

The ladies particularly enjoyed this, but Gawain just wanted to hear her sing. Was there anything he did not like about this girl? She surely was something special.

After supper, Fiona announced the start of a night of parlor games. Gawain, to his dismay, was teamed with two peahens, Lady Yvonne and Lady Eugenia, and one of Reggie’s friends, a young man he had yet to see sober, Lord Pershing. If Fiona was trying to torture him, she had managed to do a wonderful job of it.

It wasn’t that Gawain was completely against parlor games, and he had to admit the ladies assigned to his team were quite beautiful. Unfortunately, there was not a hint of brain matter between their ears.

He had participated on occasion in some fairly naughty games contrived by some infamous hostesses who lived on the fringes of elegant Society. Almost nothing was out of bounds, and clothes often came off at those soirees popular with the demimonde .

But Fiona’s guests were proper Society, and nothing shocking or remotely interesting was going to happen tonight. He would endure and play along with the silliness because he was supposed to set a proper example for Reggie, but what he really wanted to do was spend more time alone with Cherish.

As his teammates joined him, he smiled and resolved to behave himself.

Cherish was teamed with Reggie, Lady Margaret, and another friend of Reggie’s by the name of Lord Durham. Durham and Reggie had been friends since childhood, and Gawain quite liked the boy. Well, he was a few years older than Reggie and had always had a good head on his shoulders, so this “boy” had to be close to thirty years of age by now.

The first game was to be charades. Fiona quickly went over the rules. “One teammate is to convey the clues only by gestures. The others are to guess what is written on a square of paper drawn out of this hat.”

Gawain had already resigned himself to losing. One drunken sot and two young ladies with nothing but air between their ears was a handicap impossible to surmount.

Fiona selected him as captain of his team and handed him the hat from which he was to withdraw the square of paper. “Good luck, Gawain,” she said, unable to contain her laughter.

“I’ll get you for this, Fiona,” he replied with a pained chuckle.

He unfurled the paper and saw the answer written was Westminster Abbey. Not very difficult, but he already knew his team would never figure it out.

He hated losing.

Fiona, Reggie, and even Cherish were grinning at him. Had any of them been on his team, they would have guessed the answer within a minute. But these teammates?

He turned to Yvonne, Eugenia, and Pershing with a groan. “All right. Pershing, open your eyes.”

The ladies giggled. Pershing weaved.

Gawain sighed and pointed west. He may have been pointing to the moon for all the good it did.

“Pointing!” Lady Yvonne shouted out with glee.

“Outdoors.” Lady Eugenia began to hop up and down. “Swimming! Trees! Kittens!”

Huh?

He tried to convey a setting sun. Apparently, none of his teammates realized the sun set in the west. He gave up and moved on to the third syllable and pretended to hold a bowl, the contents of which he was stirring. Surely they had to get stir out of Westmin ster . But they hadn’t gotten the West or the min , so he was not all that surprised when their guesses were still inane.

“Spinning!” Yvonne shouted.

“Whirling! Dancing! Twirling!” Eugenia squealed.

Pershing merely snored.

“Time’s up,” Fiona said. “I’m sorry, but your team has lost your point.”

Gawain truly, oh so truly, hated to lose, but he tried not to show it. After all, no one could possibly blame him when they came in dead last. But for pity’s sake, what was so hard about guessing stir ?

As the next team got up to take their turn, he sank into the vacated chair beside Cherish and moaned. “This is utter agony.”

She smiled sympathetically as she leaned toward him and whispered, “They don’t cook. They’ve probably never set foot in their kitchen or seen a mixing bowl, so they do not understand the concept of stirring. Well, Pershing might have understood stirring one’s drink. But he was off snoring and not watching your brilliant enactment. Nor have any of them been taught anything remotely scientific. They do not realize the sun sinks in the west.”

“I shall address this oversight the next time Parliament is in session,” he grumbled. “Women must be given a rudimentary education on the sciences, mathematics, and politics.”

Cherish gave a doubtful snort. “They will shoot you down so fast, you won’t know what hit you. Few men care to give ladies the power of education.”

“You are educated, are you not?”

She nodded. “Mostly self-taught, but my parents encouraged it.”

He leaned closer to continue their conversation as the noise level in the room escalated. Talking proved impossible, but he did not mind drawing closer to Cherish because he liked the scent of her, something wild and fruity that mingled perfectly with the soft warmth of her skin.

If he wasn’t careful, the desire to taste her might very well overwhelm him. That would not do at all. He was not supposed to be having these feelings for her.

Fortunately, her team was up next, so his torture at their closeness was short-lived as she left his side to join the others.

Durham, Reggie, and Cherish were smart, and Durham was chosen to give the clues. He stared at the paper a moment and then began to gesture falling asleep. Lady Margaret, the weak link in their strong chain, was hopping about like a clueless pup, shouting out inane responses to the clues Durham was giving.

Gawain immediately realized it was a quote from a Shakespeare play, Hamlet’s famous soliloquy. Every schoolboy knew the start of the passage… To be, or not to be.

Cherish and Reggie guessed it at the same time, together reciting lines from that famous passage. “ To die, to sleep. To sleep, perchance to dream, ” Reggie said.

Durham nodded and motioned for them to continue.

Cherish finished the verse. “ Aye, there’s the rub, for in this sleep of death what dreams may come. ”

“Yes!” Durham shouted. “That’s the answer. What dreams may come.”

Margaret looked on and clapped, probably having no idea what her teammates were talking about.

Cherish, Reggie, and Durham, with Lady Margaret as their little albatross, were handily in the lead as the night progressed. Gawain’s team was dead last.

He tried to tamp down his own apish instincts to win, knowing it was an impossibility. What choice did he have but to take his loss with good sportsmanship?

Lord, Lord… Oh, how he hated to lose.

Fiona and Reggie were taking too much pleasure from his suffering. Gad, were all relatives this irritating?

But he knew he was the one behaving like an uncivilized ape because he could not even let this simple game pass without turning it into a battle. Yes, he’d been raised in the military, and the training to win was ingrained in him. He wasn’t angry so much as frustrated.

The last game was to be bobbing for apples.

“Simple enough,” Gawain muttered as they were all herded into the garden, where four barrels filled with water were set out on mats. Fiona dropped one apple into each barrel. Footmen stood close by with towels in hand because everyone who played was going to get soaked.

They were four teams of four who were to participate, so sixteen players in all.

How he got roped into this, Gawain did not know. But he owed it to Fiona to endure this night of torture, since she was helping him out with Reggie.

“It shall be the men against the ladies in this one,” Fiona announced. “If I were to pit you men against one another, you would try to drown each other. So I shall assign one man on each team to a lady on the opposing team. First one to come up with the apple in their mouth wins.”

They played in turns, and the first teams selected were not his or Cherish’s team.

He stood watching beside Cherish as she cheered and seemed to take genuine delight in watching the mayhem of the game. Everyone on a team took a turn, but each game was limited to two minutes, so no points were awarded if neither player came up with the apple in time. Few players came up with the apple, so only two out of the first set of challengers were awarded a point.

No one seemed to care if they won or lost. There was an awful lot of accidental kissing as both sets of lips were vying for the same apple. A time or two, the apple was forgotten and the contestants went straight to the kissing part.

Then his team was called up, Gawain was not surprised to be pitted against Cherish, because Fiona was diabolical when she wanted to be and had to know this would irk him. By this time, all of the men had removed their jackets, cravats, and waistcoats so as not to ruin the expensive fabrics as they were sloshed with water.

The ladies were given towels to wear as bibs to protect their gowns and they each were provided mats to prevent grass and mud stains on their clothing as they bent on their knees and dipped their head in the barrel.

A fresh apple was dropped into the barrel for each round.

Cherish smiled at him. “Are you ready, Your Grace?”

“Something tells me you are an expert at this game.”

She laughed. “Not at all. If anything, you have the advantage, since you have the bigger mouth to grasp that apple. But I’ve forgotten what silly fun these games can be. It feels good to take a simple pleasure and not worry about what others think.”

He saw the enchantment in her features again, the shimmering joy in her beautiful eyes.

“Ready! Set! Go!” Fiona called out, and everyone’s face hit water as they began to chase the bobbing apple.

Too often, Gawain missed the apple and wound up with his lips on Cherish’s cheek or nose. His entire body exploded in heat when the apple slipped away and his lips wound up on hers. Yes, that was hardest to draw away. She had the sweetest lips.

Suddenly, all he wanted to do was kiss her.

Kiss her wet. Kiss her hard. Just kiss her.

He was spared his continuing agony when Fiona called time and no one on the four teams had caught their apples. But the end of his round did not mean the end of his spurt of heat over Cherish.

As for Cherish, she appeared completely unaffected by the innocent touch of their lips. She left his side and now took over as timekeeper when Fiona’s turn came up. Fiona groaned when she realized she had to face Pershing, who had finally awakened from his drunken stupor. “I’m sure there must be some mistake,” she muttered.

Gawain could not stifle his grin. “You’re the one who set up the game. Serves you right, Fiona. I had that idiot on my team the entire night. Now he is all yours.”

To no one’s surprise, the stupid sot of a lord almost drowned when he passed out in the water, and Gawain had to lift his head out of the barrel when it did not bob up after the apple.

He turned with a scowl toward Reggie. “If you ever behave like this idiot, I will drown you myself.”

“Botheration, what did I do?” Reggie griped back at him.

Gawain sighed. “Nothing, just don’t ever be like him.”

“Fine, I’ll be just like you and hold myself out to be such a paragon that no woman will ever be good enough for me. I cannot wait to die alone in a cold bed.”

Cherish had been standing beside them all the while and now turned to them with a gasp. But she quickly turned away again and continued to keep time on the other players.

Gawain felt his nephew’s words acutely because the boy was right and the barb had struck straight in his heart. He strode off toward the beach, knowing the games were now at an end and everyone would soon return inside to chat, play cards or billiards, or simply retire to bed.

He would not join them, for he was not fit company. Losing always put him in a bad temperament.

It was foolish of him to behave like a spoiled child and resent someone else’s win over something utterly inconsequential.

Yes, he failed miserably at being a good sport. Perhaps winning mattered to him because Cherish was watching and he wanted to look like a conquering hero in her eyes.

Bah, it was the opposite of what he ought to want.

Bloody blazes, he was still reeling from that brief touch of her lips.

He stopped at the top of the stairs and simply looked out across the water as the sun began to set. The colors of the sky were a brilliant mix of orange and lavender, and the sea glistened. There was a lightly salty tang to the air as a soft breeze wafted across the white-foamed waves toward him.

The magnificent view and pleasant breeze ought to have calmed him, but he remained too riled to fully appreciate the beauty of his surroundings or this sunset.

He had been so determined to find the right girl for Reggie that it never crossed his mind that Cherish would feel so right for him . But he would have to get over this unexpected longing for the girl. For pity’s sake, he had only known her a few days. Not even a week. Not even half a week. That Fiona had been writing to him about her for several months did not count other than to explain why he felt so comfortable around her.

His heart hitched when he sensed Cherish approaching. Oh, great. Now he could feel her presence before he ever set eyes on her.

This was very bad.

He heard her soft laughter a moment later, so he turned to her with a frown. “Don’t you dare berate me.”

She came to his side and smiled up at him. “Fiona sent me to calm you down and return you to the party. She said to tell you that she apologizes profusely for saddling you with the three silliest guests at her party and…” Cherish burst out laughing. “Oh, please forgive me. I hope you know I am laughing at the situation and not at you. I would never laugh at you.”

He groaned.

“Truly, I had no idea Fiona was so diabolical. It was such a wicked, wicked thing for her to do to you, especially knowing your nature. I could almost see smoke pouring from your ears each time your team botched an answer. The frustration you must—”

“I thought you said Fiona had sent you to calm me down.”

She nodded. “Oh, yes. Sorry, but do allow me to tease you just a little. You are so perfect in everything you do, it is quite daunting to us all. So, to see you brought low in this harmless way… And it was harmless, you must admit. But how you must have gritted your teeth and tried to slog through the evening. You looked so…”

“Foolish?”

“No, dismayed is the better word.” She laughed again, unable to stifle her melodic trills. “Oh, do ignore me. I am so relieved to find you are actually human and not this unreachable paragon. She pushed you too far and asked me to convey to you that she is truly sorry.”

Gawain shook his head. “No, I should not have stalked off as I did. These were simple parlor games. Harmless, as you said. I was a poor sport and took it out on Reggie when I lost. He’s a good nephew, and I’ve been coming down on him like a hammer over the head. He is nothing like that dolt Pershing and will never be, even on his worst days.”

The wind blew softly through Cherish’s curls as she nodded. “He is handling it well. In truth, your coming down on him harder than warranted is bringing out the strength in him, don’t you think? Perhaps we all need to face a little hardship to bring out the better part of us.”

He met her gaze, loving the warmth of her eyes. “And what about you, Cherish? Do you really believe living under Northam’s roof has made a better woman of you?”

“It has forced me out of my complacency and made me think of my own needs.” She shook her head and sighed. “To be honest, I am not happy about having to toughen myself up. Oh, I am eager to be away from my ogre of an uncle, but it still feels cruel to manipulate some innocent soul into marrying me simply to enable me to escape an intolerable situation. I cannot find it in my heart to use someone that way.”

“And if that someone loved you?”

Her expression turned soft as a dream. “That would be an altogether different matter, especially if I loved him back. That would be bliss.”

She appeared ready to say something more, then shook her head again. “It is a lovely sunset, isn’t it? The same can be seen from my home… Well, what used to be my home. I was sure my father would leave it to me, since it is not part of the entailment. But my uncle and my father’s solicitor claim he did not.”

“And you trust their word?”

“I would never trust my uncle, but why would my father’s solicitor lie to me? Well, I did not question him at first, but now I am not so certain. Yet it seems so far-fetched that he would collude with my uncle regarding this estate. He insists it is Northam’s now, and I must accept it.”

“But you haven’t?”

“No, it sticks in my craw. It feels wrong, but how am I to challenge it when the solicitor has all the documentation and I have none? So, it is time I accepted the harsh fact that Northam Hall is not mine and will never be mine. Otherwise, I will never have the courage to distance myself from all the memories I hold so dear and move on.”

She placed her hand on his arm when he said nothing in response. “We ought to return to the others.”

“You go on ahead, Cherish. I am not fit company yet.”

As ever, the breeze softly whipped through her curls while she remained standing beside him and feeling too right for him to dare believe possible. “I’ll stay with you, Your Grace. Would you mind terribly?”

He shrugged. “Do as you wish.”

“What I wish is to talk to you. But you just want me to leave you alone and go away. Are you thinking of the woman you once loved?”

The question startled him. “What business is it of yours?”

“None at all. I have never been in love. Goodness, I have never even been kissed. The closest I’ve ever come to any man’s lips on mine was tonight when our lips accidentally touched while bobbing for apples. Oh, I know that does not count as a kiss.”

That all-too-brief encounter still had his body in turmoil. His heart, too.

“What does it feel like?” she asked. “I mean, to really kiss someone. To be in love and kiss that person with all the strength of your being. Obviously, falling in love left you in tremendous pain. Is it not ironic that something capable of bringing you so much joy can also leave you with unbearable pain?”

“Cherish, I do not wish to talk about it.”

“You needn’t. I am doing all the talking. Ignore me if you would rather not comment while I sort it out for myself. My problem is not love but indifference. I think indifference is worse than anything else. This is what I am facing, the prospect of living my life as a shadow, ignored by the family who ought to love me and yet left me without resources to do something about it. I thought I could endure my lot and not care.”

“But you are discovering that you cannot?”

“It is awful. I’ve tried to harden myself because Fiona insists I am too soft and think too much with my feelings instead of my brain. But never feeling anything makes the entire point of living meaningless, don’t you think?”

“Cherish, if you are trying to get me to open up my heart and confide in you, forget it. I am not going to talk about myself.”

She nodded. “I was talking about me. You have made your decision to close yourself off to the world. That is your choice to make. I thought I had made the same choice, but I cannot do it. At least you are a duke and will have an impact on the lives of others no matter what you do. But I am no more than a leaf on an autumn breeze that will soon wither and die.”

“You are nowhere close to withering.” She was a summer rose, delightful to the scent and the eye. He just wanted her to go away before he gave in to desire and kissed her in the full and glorious way he ached to do.

“How does one know when love is real?”

He gave a groaning laugh. “Why don’t you ask me something simple, like explaining the theory of gravity? Or the origins of the moon and stars? Obviously, I am the wrong person to ask about love.”

“Because you were burned once and now hide from it forever?”

He placed his hands on her slight shoulders and made certain she was looking straight at him while he frowned at her. “What I do is none of your business,” he repeated, irritated by how easily she got under his skin. “I think you need to go back inside with the others now.”

“Why?”

“Cherish, you do not want to learn about love from me. I would only hurt you.”

“Thank you for the warning. I shall take it to heart. But answer me this about the woman who turned you into this closed-off person you’ve become. If she were to come back into your life, what would you do?”

“Run as fast as my legs would carry me in the opposite direction. Satisfied? Will you go now?”

“All right. But I hate to miss this lovely sunset. I’ll just stand apart from you and watch it. Am I not allowed to think of my future, too?”

“Must you do it right here?”

“Is there a better spot?”

He sighed. “Come here.” He tucked her hand in the crook of his arm as they stood together watching the last golden rays of sunlight disappear over the horizon.

What was he to do with Cherish? Besides ache to kiss her into forever?