Chapter 59

Alex

ANOTHER YEAR LATER

"If you look to your left, you'll see the famous Baltimore hotel where it's said that every room has a story to tell..."

Alex looked up in surprise, his hand stalling as he pushed Odette on a swing. That voice was so familiar. But it couldn't be.

Leading a group of eager tourists, Marcus and Erica walked past the playground. Oh, fate was a cruel thing.

It has been over two years since he last laid eyes on either of them, not since they had him arrested. He watched them captivate their audience and strained to hear a bit of their talk.

Erica hadn't changed.

She was more beautiful than ever. Glowing, even. As the crowd parted, the reason became obvious.

She was pregnant; he realised with a pang.

He didn't know why that tore him up inside, but it did. It had been so long since he and Erica were together; he thought he was over it.

Clearly not.

Suddenly, buried feelings threatened to cripple him. Jealousy and longing rose to the surface.

"Da-da! Da-da!"

Brought back to reality by his daughter, Alex shook his head and focused on the cherub who was scowling at him. It was then that he realised he'd stopped pushing the swing.

"I'm sorry, angel," he muttered, giving her a gentle push and smiling at her gleeful giggle. He liked moments when it was just the two of them .

His son's arrival made the flat feel tiny and very claustrophobic. He loved his children an impossible amount, and he wouldn't change them for anything in the world.

But it didn't change that he didn't want to be a father.

Not in these circumstances, anyway.

He and Sophie had kept to the promise they made each other the day she bailed him out of prison. They were in this together - a team. She had his back, and he had hers.

Despite everything, he still didn't love her. Yes, he cared for her. He admired her as the mother of his children, and he enjoyed her company more than he used to. But she didn't rock his world. Their future didn't excite him.

Both of them wanted out of the relationship, he was sure of it. But neither of them wanted to go alone. Sophie wouldn't give up the security of the flat and having someone there to help her with the kids.

Alex couldn't afford to run two homes, which was the fate he was resigning himself to if he were to leave. He didn't like the prospect of dating again either. And so he stayed and played house with a woman he would never love.

"Across the road from the Baltimore is the famous Corner Stop playground. Alex's heart leapt. He forced himself to keep looking down at Odette while Erica's voice directed her audience towards the park.

"Now we won't get any closer," she said clearly. "These days, the park is for children, and we'll respect that. But only fifty years ago, the park was a hotspot for torrid affairs. At night, the angry spirit of Garth Cash rattled the swing set chains. Forever angry that he can't get vengeance on those who wronged him."

Alex grimaced as a shiver went down his spine. Pulling Odette from the swing, he moved to the slide instead.

"Looks like we've spooked someone," he heard Marcus say in an amused tone. "Sorry, sir! You're quite safe during the day, however."

Alex looked over his shoulder, his eyes meeting Erica's. Shockingly, she looked right through him as though she didn't even recognise him. The pain of that was crippling, and it was all he could do not to drop Odette and fall to his knees .

She should not have this power over him. Not after all this time.

"For those of you with tickets for tonight's tour, we'll return to the park. Hopefully, we'll have an encounter with Garth," Erica said. She turned back to her group with a smile, dismissing him easily.

He swallowed past the lump in his throat and turned to Odette. She squealed in excitement as he approached the slide. Propping her at the top, he moved to the bottom and held his arms out to encourage her.

Her happy giggle only marginally improved his mood. It was time to get out of here.

"One more turn, sweetheart," he said, lifting her to the top once more. She rushed into his waiting arms and giggled as he lifted her onto his shoulders.

Leaving the play park, he walked past Erica's tour group and focused ahead. He'd almost made it until, at the last second, Odette reached for Erica's hat.

"Pretty!" Odette said as she pulled the hat off. "I have."

Alex cringed as Erica looked up at Odette in surprise. Her kind eyes showed no judgment as she smiled up at the child.

"That's okay, precious. You can keep it," she said with a chuckle as she looked at Alex. "Don't worry about it, I have plenty at home."

Finally, recognition dawned in her eyes as Alex cleared his throat awkwardly. Unsure what to do, he muttered an apology. Erica instinctively stepped toward Marcus and reached for his hand.

Frowning, Marcus glanced over at Alex, visibly tensing. On his shoulders, Odette jumped happily, playing with her new hat. "Pretty, pretty!" Marcus looked up at her and then back at Alex.

"We're in your way," Marcus said, stepping aside. "After you."

Alex tensed and clenched his jaw. He wanted to do something, so he didn't look so pathetically weak. But with his daughter looking on, all he could do was mutter his thanks as he walked past. Marcus' hand dropped to Erica's swollen stomach, his thumb caressing her bump .

"Everyone okay in there?" He asked, turning his back on Alex. Another chill ran down his back as the tension seemed to follow him.

"They're both okay," Erica replied. Alex forced himself not to turn around, but he didn't need to see her smile to know it was lighting up her beautiful face.

She was having twins.

Rushing from the park to avoid spilling his emotions, Alex sang with Odette. It almost worked to drown out the voices of old demons. All the way home, they sang and played. A father and daughter with no care in the world. He forced Erica and Marcus from his mind and tried not to think about how happy and in love they looked.

Five minutes from home, Odette demanded to walk. Letting her down, he finally saw the hat she had stolen.

"Your mother would give you up for adoption if she caught you with this," he said. Odette's attention shifted to a flower. He held the hat in front of him, noting the logo for Marcus' walking tour. Erica must have been modelling their latest merchandise.

Glancing around to make sure no one was looking, he lifted it to his nose and inhaled her scent in one long breath. Closing his eyes, he let memories of Erica and their life together wash over him.

The cute powder blue dress she had worn on their first date. Falling in love with her the moment she celebrated her sideshow win with a silly little dance. Proposing to her right there and then, and praying she'd take a chance on him.

Erica wearing a simple white wedding dress. Walking down the aisle towards him, her hair in delicate curls as she beamed a smile made just for him. Her whispering ‘I do' and promising him forever. Their wedding night spent dancing together and whispering sweet nothings. Falling into bed and making love until the sun rose.

Her excitement when he won his first contract, and the dinner she had made to congratulate him. The way she stayed by his side when his mother's death crippled him and he nearly lost everything. Her refusal to let him work when he was ill, insisting she take care of him.

God, he had loved her so fucking much .

He loved her.

After all this time. After two kids. During his entire relationship with Sophie, and no doubt for the rest of his days, his heart belonged to Erica.

And she had barely recognised him.

"Daddy, buzzy!"

Brought back to the present, Alex's eyes snapped open, slightly damp as he focused on Odette.

"What's that, sweetheart?"

"Buzzy, daddy! Buzzy!" She waved her little hands and rushed to his side. Alex looked at the flower that had caught her attention and the fat buzzing bee going about his day.

"Oh, I see," he said, shoving the hat into his jacket pocket. Lifting Odette into his arms, he held her tight as she wrapped her little arms around his neck in fear.

"Let's get you home," he murmured, picking up his pace.

A short while later, he opened the flat door and let Odette go. She ran down the corridor to the living room.

"Mum-eee! We home!"

Alex trailed behind her, draping his jacket over a hook. He grabbed the hat and shoved it inside an old shoebox just as Sophie came into view.

He flashed a conciliatory smile, his eyes betraying his guilt. "You look nice," he said, moving to kiss her cheek. And she did. After Joseph had been born, Sophie started taking care of herself again.

She would never again be the bombshell he first met. But she was still enough to turn a few heads, even if she looked a little more mumsy now.

"Thanks," she said, smoothing her hand through her hair. "Do you like my hair?"

He glanced up at the uneven cut and nodded with a smile. "Of course. You did great, love."

After losing the business, Sophie had to cut back on her beauty treatments. She had watched tutorials online nonstop. But she had never quite learned to cut her own hair.

Alex would never tell her that, though .

It was his fault they lived just above the poverty line. Sophie had tried to adapt as best she could, so he would never make her feel even worse than she already did.

Besides, she rarely left the flat, so it's not like it mattered, anyway.

"Joe down for a nap?" He asked as he sat on the sofa, on autopilot as Odette ran to him. She hugged his legs, expecting him to lift her into the air.

"Just about," Sophie said, joining him on the sofa. "Did you guys have fun while you were out?"

"Swiiiing, mama!" Odette said as Alex lifted his legs while she clung on.

"You went on the swings, baby?" Sophie cooed. Alex stayed silent, praying Odette wouldn't elaborate further. "That sounds like a lot of fun. It's fun having Daddy home, isn't it?"

"Don't start, Soph," Alex groaned. "You know I'd be home more if I could. And I really don't want to have this discussion around little ears."

"Fine," Sophie tutted, rolling her eyes and grabbing the TV remote. "Marcus and Erica are releasing another season of their show. They played the ad while you were out."

"Is that right?" He fidgeted in his seat. "Well, bully for them."

"It's in America this time," she continued. "America, Alex."

"Okay? What am I supposed to say to that, Sophie?"

She tutted again, lifting Odette into her arms. "We haven't even been for a weekend away with the kids," she said. "Never mind bloody America."

"We can't afford a weekend away with the kids," he said through gritted teeth. "We can't even afford a date night."

Sophie sighed, playing with Odette's hair as various emotions played across her face. He watched as her lips formed words she would never speak out loud, too scared of the consequences.

Alex didn't need her to say them; he'd heard her crying to herself far too often not to know what she was thinking.

She had chosen the wrong man.

After how much he slaved away to keep them afloat, he should feel offended by that. But he couldn't argue .

After all, she wasn't the only one who had made the wrong choice. He'd made the mistake, and for the rest of his life, he was going to pay for it.

Karma was a mother-fucking bitch.