Chapter 38

Sophie

THREE YEARS AGO

"Do you want children?" Sophie asked as she looked over the table at Marcus, cutting up her steak into manageable bite sized pieces.

Tonight was their first date after weeks of flirting. So far, she was getting only good vibes from him. At least until he choked on his drink at her question. "It's a simple yes or no, Marcus."

"Christ," he chuckled. "A heavy question for a first date, isn't it?"

"Yes. But I absolutely do not want children. So I like to get it out of the way so I don't waste my time. Or yours, I guess. No point in us dating if our goals don't align."

"Right. Well." He took a slow breath and met her gaze. "If we're getting it all out there, I guess the honest answer would be I don't know. Haven't really given it much thought."

"How could you not think about it?" She asked, taking a sip of wine. "It's pretty important when trying to find a suitable date. Can you imagine falling in love with someone and preparing to spend your life with them, only to find out you disagree on something as important as children?"

"I suppose," he laughed. "But dating can be about fun, too. Not every person you date is going to be the one, you know?"

Sophie wrinkled her nose. "I don't like that," she said. "I'm dating to find my person, so I'll have fun when I've found them. There's no way I'm wasting time, effort, and money on someone who I don't see a future with."

"Fair enough," Marcus said with a small smirk. "Well, while I try to figure out the rest of my life for you, why don't you tell me why you don't want children? "

"Oh, I'm far too selfish," she said with a delicate shrug. "I have no interest in taking care of another person who is completely reliant on me. I want to live my life for myself without taking a small child into account."

"That's refreshingly honest," he said, admirably. "I think there are some parents out there that could have benefitted from admitting that to themselves before they had children."

"Agreed," Sophie said with a nod. "My mother is one of them. She lived vicariously through me and it sucked."

"Sorry to hear that." He gestured to the waitress for a refill for their table, noticing Sophie's glass nearing empty.

"It is what it is," she said with another shrug. "By the way, that was a bonus point for you."

"Bonus point?" He asked, slightly perplexed. "What earned me a bonus point?"

"Asking for a refill before my glass is empty. I like someone who can anticipate my needs."

Marcus laughed, shaking his head and giving her a crinkly-eyed smile. "Oh, Miss Sophie. You're going to keep me on my toes, aren't you?"

"Yes. Now, answer the question."

Marcus leaned back in his seat, looking over at her. "I think I'd be good either way," he said. "I don't have this deep longing to be a dad. However, if it happened, it wouldn't be the end of the world."

"It won't happen with me," she warned. "They're not on my agenda at all."

"Noted." Marcus smiled over at her as the waitress refilled their glasses. "You're twenty-one, right? And you have your entire life figured out?" He chuckled. "Bat shit. You're certifiable. You don't like to just go with the flow?"

"And you're twenty-five?" She asked. He nodded his confirmation. "I can't imagine being five years from thirty, and not even know if I want children." She nudged him with her foot. "Now that's batshit.

"I am a woman who knows what she wants, Marcus." She took a drink of her wine, regarding him over the rim of her glass. "I like things to be my way, and I will do whatever I can to make sure I get what I want.

"So. Do you think you can handle that?"

PRESENT DAY

Sophie needed this bath.

The water was the perfect temperature, mixed with bath salts that promoted reviving energy and worked to relax aches and pains. The bubbles were so plentiful, they spilled over the edge of the tub. With her favourite scented candles burning, and gentle music playing, she should have been in heaven.

Only, she had been sitting in the same position for who knew how long, her neck cricked at an awkward angle as she stared at the basket of toiletries sitting on the counter. From the side, she could just about make out the brand of her preferred sanitary products. Two tampons poked out of the basket, edging closer and closer to completely falling out.

There was nothing interesting about this basket of toiletries, nor the two wayward tampons. But they had captured her complete attention because she realised she couldn't remember the last time she used them.

Finally, the warmth of the water left her, a chill dancing over her exposed skin. Reluctantly, she left the bath, feeling no more relaxed than when she entered. It had been a while since she needed tampons. At least eight, maybe nine weeks. Shit, for all she knew, it was closer to ten weeks. She wasn't the greatest at keeping track of her cycle.

That meant…

She glanced down at her naked body, her stomach still flat and unassuming. Standing in front of the full-length mirror, she checked herself out, turning this way and that. She didn't look pregnant. Giving her stomach a little prod, she wrinkled her nose. She didn't feel pregnant.

Had she had many symptoms?

Maybe a brief bout of nausea here and there. Maybe. But that could have been the food from that new chef she tried. She told Alex the mince tasted off, but he just shrugged her off. Her boobs didn't feel any different either, and that was a symptom too, right?

Heading through to the bedroom, still naked and dripping water across the floor, she snatched up her phone from where she left it charging. Heading to her favourite search engine, she typed three little words.

Am I pregnant?

The web page opened with over nine million hits. "That's a lot of confused women," she muttered to herself as she clicked on the first available link. "Okay, blah, blah, blah, different for everyone… no two people are the same, yada, yada." Scrolling, she lingered over the symptoms.

"Nausea," she said, reading in a whispered tone. "Sort of. Probably the mince. Increased urination? Gross, no. Constipation?" She wrinkled her nose. "Double gross, no. Tiredness, changes to boobs, cramping or bleeding. No, no. no. Oh, this is fantastic ."

She glanced through the rest of the symptoms; her smile faltering as she saw missed periods on the list.

"The only way to know for sure is to take a pregnancy test," she read in the same tone. "But the best and most common symptom is a missed period."

Yeah, but if there were no other symptoms…

Surely not…

No…

Maybe?

She hadn't exactly been careful with Alex; she realised. Marcus had a vasectomy at her request, so protection wasn't something she ever thought about. But now she was thinking about it, she couldn't remember ever really using contraception. Not since Erica left him.

Shit.

Oh, this was just awful. This was fucking terrible. She couldn't imagine a worse thing happening to them or such awful timing. She was not cut out to be somebody's mother, nor did she have any desire to be. This was just…

Fuck.

No, no wait. She was panicking over nothing. This was…

Potentially the best thing to happen .

Sophie could feel the smirk spreading across her face. Oh, this baby, if it existed, could be just what she needed to get everything she wanted. She knew Alex. No way, he wouldn't do the honourable thing. Once he found out about the baby, he'd marry her because that was the right thing to do. It would look good for business, too.

Erica wouldn't be able to hold the divorce over them with a baby involved, would she? She'd have to sign the papers and release them from this weird limbo she had them in.

Her mind was racing with possibilities, one thought tumbling into the next until she could barely make sense of them. All she knew was that having Alex's child secured her future in a way nothing else could.

"Erica couldn't give him a baby," she whispered

She ran her hand over her stomach, more affectionately this time, smiling to herself. If there really was a baby in there, she'd already won. She did something perfect, pretty Erica never did. She gave Alex a child, a legacy.

His reputation would soar - the perfect family man. It would repair any damage from their affair, and his clients would stop feeling nervous about his representation. This could only be a good thing, and she was the one to give it to him.

Her. Not Erica.

She couldn't even give him the divorce he'd been bugging her for. Sophie had won. After months of competing against her, she had finally won. This was an incredible feeling. There was no way Alex would go back to her now.

Not that she had been worried about that. Like he said, he wanted her, not Erica. He wanted to give her the world. He was scared of losing her.

Probably even more so now, or at least when he found out about the baby.

She released an excitable sound and quickly covered her mouth. Now was not the time to get ahead of herself. She needed to get a test first and foremost, to confirm if she was indeed pregnant. And if she was, what was her game plan? She couldn't tell Alex, not yet. It was too early, and any number of things could go wrong .

That, and there was a small part of her that was worried about his reaction. But if she waited, he'd have no choice but to accept the baby. Their baby. He'd be fine. They would be fine.

All three of them.

Motherhood was never supposed to be on the cards for her, but how hard could it be, really? She could sacrifice for her child, especially since she had access to Alex's money. She already had a maid and a chef. A nanny was not out of the equation, and with all of those resources at her fingertips, what would she really have to sacrifice?

And how much would the clients lap up their perfect little family?

She could already picture the company's Christmas card. Alex, with his arm around her, and their little bundle of joy cradled in their arms, all stood next to the perfectly decorated tree in their perfectly amazing home. She hoped they'd have a girl. No! A boy. A beautiful baby boy who looked just like his daddy.

She giggled to herself, shaking her head.

So much for not getting ahead of herself.

Getting dressed, she grabbed her purse and some loose change from the bedside table. She'd go out right now and buy a couple of tests. She still had a while before Alex got home. By the time dinner was on the table, she'd know one way or another.

She wondered if he could sense it? Or if there was anything different about her. Did she have a pregnancy glow yet? Was she looking more like a mum?

Get a grip, Sophie. Test first, speculation later.

And if it turned out she wasn't pregnant?

Well, now she realised what a good idea it was to have a child with Alex, what would be the harm in actively trying to make that a reality?