Chapter Five

He's Doing What?

Rafe

My neighbour was naked on his couch sucking his own dick.

His head was clasped between his hands, and he was slowly moving it up and down over his lap. My eyes grew painfully wide when I saw his mouth slide up to the head of his cock, which was flushed and shiny with spit, before he lowered it again. His headless body shuddered, thighs twitching. His nipples were stiff. His biceps flexed every time he lazily plunged his severed head back down his length. Right to the base. Taking all of it.

He was deepthroating himself.

Holy crap. Oh my fucking god.

I finally realised I was still staring and stumbled back from the window as heat rushed to my face. Swivelling on my heel, I powerwalked into the bedroom and yanked the curtains across my windows, blocking out the night. And the neighbour's house.

My heart was pounding as I hurriedly shoved on my pyjamas, and my face grew even hotter when I realised my dick was half-hard. What the fuck?

I didn't like dudes. And I definitely didn't like Ewen.

It's just an involuntary response , I told myself, ignoring my cock as I pulled up my PJ bottoms. It just made you think of blowjobs. And how long it's been since you've had one. That's all.

Still feeling wildly off, I got into bed, set my alarms, and turned off the lamp. Then I lay there in the darkness staring up at the ceiling for a minute before slamming my eyes shut, telling myself to go to sleep.

They popped open again a few seconds later.

Was he still doing it?

I irritably rolled onto my side and curled up in a ball, my cock twitching as it pressed into my lower stomach. My legs shifted restlessly. It was too hot. I was warm and couldn't get comfortable. Rolling onto my back with a huff, I stripped off my tee and pants, chucking them out of the bed. Then I shifted onto my front, buried my face in the pillow, and squeezed my eyes shut again.

The image of Ewen sucking his own dick instantly filled my head.

I wriggled around to try and clear the mental picture, my brow furrowing as I squeezed my eyes shut even harder. Usually I could just think of code and fall asleep quickly, but it wasn't fucking working. The lines of code kept morphing into dicks.

My cock was throbbing against the mattress and I didn't know why. I shifted my hips and inhaled sharply when my dick tingled with pleasure, dragging over the bottom sheet.

I knew it was keeping me awake. I knew I probably just needed to jerk off, and then I'd be able to go to sleep, but I couldn't. I could not jerk off while Dan Ewen was sucking his own dick next door. While I was still fucking picturing it.

No. No way. I'd lie here awake all night if I had to. It was not happening.

But surely he was done by now, right? I mean, he was probably a master at sucking his own dick. He could probably make himself come in a minute flat.

Where did the cum go? Did it just drip out of his neck hole?

My cock pulsed. My face felt flushed and too hot as I pressed my cheek to the pillow. Honestly, thinking about it, if I were a dullahan… I'd probably suck my own dick too. I mean, oral on tap, whenever you wanted it… were there many people who wouldn't ? You'd at least try it. Just once.

Fuck, I hadn't had my dick sucked in a long time. No wonder Ewen was quiet tonight—there wasn't much that could compete with a good blowjob. And he probably gave himself the best blowjobs.

It had certainly looked like it. His headless body had been arching his hips up into each downward plunge of his mouth, legs splayed wide. His fingers had been curled tightly into his hair. His ridiculous six-pack had kept jumping, the muscles twitching from the pleasure.

He was probably really good at sucking dick. Lots of practice on himself.

I suddenly realised my hips had begun rocking, dragging my hard cock slowly against the mattress. My breath huffed out of me, and a spasm of anxious confusion almost made me stop, but… it felt good. It felt really good.

And I was ridiculously hard. There was no way I'd be getting to sleep like this. I needed to come.

If I didn't actually touch my dick, it wouldn't count, I decided. I wouldn't be jerking off. I'd just be… moving my hips slightly. And if I nutted? Well. That was just a happy coincidence.

I canted my hips and dragged my dick against the bed with a bit more force. My breath caught as I did it again. Then again. Soon I was grinding against the mattress at a nice, steady pace.

Yeah, this was fine. It technically wasn't jerking off, and it felt good enough. I mean, a blowjob would've felt better. Obviously.

Maybe Ewen will let me borrow his head , I thought with a delirious, breathless snort. I could tell him I wasn't interested in the rest of him. Just wanted to borrow his head for ten minutes to use it as a sex toy.

He'd probably be fine with it.

My brows pinched up, and suddenly I was grinding my cock into the mattress faster and harder, my hips picking up speed of their own volition. A shudder ran down my back. The sheet was getting hot and damp from my pre-cum, causing mind-numbing friction to rasp over my throbbing cock.

Fuck. I panted into the pillow, rutting faster. Was he done over there? Had he come down his own throat, letting it drip from the neck hole and get all over the couch?

If my cock was down his throat, would I be able to reach back and feel it poking out of his neck? I quickly pushed that thought away because it felt too weird—and my dick definitely wasn't big enough for that anyway—but now I was picturing Ewen's hips snapping up to fuck his own throat, his thick thighs spread wide, quaking as he made himself come. Then the skin on his body turned a sickly grey like mine, and his fingernails grew dark and discoloured as they clutched at his dirty blond hair.

" Nnnngh ." I shook as my cock flexed hard and pumped cum all over the bed and my stomach, my face buried in the pillow and my fingers clenching it so tight they ached.

Once the sudden orgasm ended, it took me a minute to get my bearings as I panted into the pillow, my body completely lax and boneless.

Then the anxiety reared its ugly head.

I scrambled onto my hands and knees, staring down at my softening cock and the cum smeared everywhere. My pulse leaped as I sat back on trembling legs, the covers slipping off me, and stared blankly at the headboard.

Why had that made me come so hard?

I didn't want to think about it, so I quickly got up and shoved everything out of the way to strip the bottom sheet off the bed. After using it to wipe up the cum on my stomach and cock, I pulled on my PJs and bundled it up to take downstairs.

That hadn't actually been about seeing Ewen sucking his dick. It had been about the fact that he could suck his own dick. It had been… jealousy masturbation. Yeah. That was a thing, right? I was positive if I looked it up online, it'd be a thing.

After shoving the sheet into the machine to wash tomorrow, I went into the kitchen and got myself a glass of water, my throat dry. I still felt too hot, so I decided to take advantage of my dickhead neighbour being quiet for once—I wasn't going think about why he was being so quiet—and go chill on my deck to cool down.

I unlocked the back door and stepped outside, the wood feeling warm under my bare feet. I didn't bother shifting into my human form. My other neighbours couldn't see me from here, and it was dark.

A lot of the residents on this street were supernaturals—we tended to stick together in that way, because it made it safer for all of us—but of course I was the one who'd ended up with a family of unwitting humans living on one side of me. They had no idea that they were surrounded by what they'd consider monsters.

"Well, howdy, neighbour."

The raspy, drawling voice to my right made me freeze. My heart lurched, sweat prickling under my arms.

I couldn't look over at first. I just couldn't. Although if he was talking, at least that meant his dick wasn't still in his own mouth.

I finally glanced to my right. The fallen fence panels gave me a direct view of Ewen's own back porch, and he was sprawled casually in a deck chair, smoking a cigarette and sipping a beer. The light from his kitchen window illuminated him from behind.

Heat flooded my face. He was dressed, at least. Well, barely. He was wearing sweatpants. And he was in his human form, which meant his head was firmly on his shoulders. He'd tied his long, dirty blond hair up into a messy bun.

Probably to keep it out of the way during round two, I thought before I could stop myself, then flushed even hotter. My dick twitched in my pants, still tingling from that giant orgasm. It sent panic streaking through me, so I hurriedly dropped into a deck chair.

"Hi," I said tightly, clutching my glass of water.

"Can't sleep?"

He'd rolled his head along the back of the chair to look at me, and I watched him furtively out of the corner of my eye as he brought his cigarette up to his lips for a deep drag.

I'd probably want a post-nut cigarette too after sucking my own dick.

I was trying desperately to ignore how sated and relaxed he looked, because I knew the exact reason why. And now I was picturing it again. Fuck .

"I—My sleep schedule's still a bit off from adjusting to work," I said, wanting to cringe at how hoarse my voice sounded.

He chuckled, slouching lower in his chair and stretching out his long legs with a satisfied grunt. "Yeah, takes some getting used to."

I side-eyed him as he drew on his cigarette again, head tipped back and sated gaze absently trained on the night sky.

I bet he came ridiculously hard. As hard as I did. Harder.

"That's really bad for you," I blurted, trying to get rid of the thoughts.

He smirked, looking over at me again. "Nah, not for me. Or you."

I supposed he was correct. Some non-humans—including ghouls—kind of straddled the line between dead and alive. We didn't technically need to breathe, we weren't susceptible to many illnesses, and it took a lot more of things like alcohol or weed to really affect us. I guessed dullahans were the same, which made sense. Their heads were literally separated from their bodies.

"Plus, I can do this," Ewen added, and I looked over to see him put the cigarette between his lips, then cup the back of his head. An insubstantial ripple went over his body as a thin black line appeared across his throat. Then his now-severed head tipped back into his waiting hand, exposing his neck hole.

His cheeks hollowed as he sucked on the cigarette, before perfect rings of smoke wafted from the neck of his severed head, one after another, floating up into the air. I huffed in amusement before I could stop myself.

Dan grinned around the cigarette, then rested his head back on his neck as the ripple went over him again and that black line across his throat vanished. He plucked the cigarette from his lips and exhaled a normal stream of grey smoke. "Took me years to perfect that."

"Neat trick," I deadpanned, running my thumb over the condensation on my glass as I hunched awkwardly in my chair.

He always made me feel awkward. Like a loser. Like he was the big, popular jock and I was still the skinny, quiet kid at school who was in the chess club and wore black eyeliner to feel rebellious.

But I was starting to realise that he didn't actually do much to make me feel that way. It was a projection. It was internal. I always just assumed that he would tease me like those shitty high school jocks, so I got defensive before he could.

Maybe I was a dick to Dan. Not the other way around.

"Want a beer?"

I looked over to see him reach down and pluck two more bottles from the six-pack next to his chair. Before I could answer, he stood and flicked his cigarette butt away, then sauntered off his deck and directly over the fallen fence panels cutting across both our yards.

My mouth flattened. Maybe I was a dick to Ewen, but he was still a dick back in his own ways. He hadn't even removed the broken fence panels yet, and I refused to do it because it was his friend who'd caused the damage. His mess. His responsibility to fix.

He chuckled as if he knew what I was thinking, padding up onto my deck with bare feet. "I'll get rid of 'em this weekend, handso— neighbour ."

I narrowed my eyes at him, but found myself reaching out to take the bottle he was offering. Then I tensed as he dropped into the other deck chair with a sigh and twisted the cap off his fresh beer.

"Finally gettin' those welcome drinks, eh?" He grinned and leaned over to tap his bottle against mine.

"Thanks," I muttered, setting down my glass and twisting the cap off my own bottle. The first sip felt a million times more refreshing than the water had, somehow, and I relaxed slightly.

Only slightly. Because now Ewen was sitting just a few feet away.

My gaze darted down to his lap, and my cheeks flamed as I quickly looked away and gulped down more beer.

"How're you finding—"

"How do you actually—" I started speaking just as he did, and we both stopped abruptly before I cleared my throat. "Go ahead."

He chuckled. "Nah, you go."

"I was just going to—" I picked at the wet label on my bottle. "I was just wondering how dullahans are even… born."

Ewen grinned at me. "Oh yeah?"

"I mean…" I made a face. "Do you just come out headless already? Like, is your head born… separately?"

He laughed and shrugged his wide shoulders. Wasn't he cold? It wasn't exactly balmy out here. Before I could stop myself, I was darting a look at his nipples, and my belly jolted when I noticed they were hard from the cool air.

"I like to think I was formed by some huge warrior god who got his head cut off in battle or something."

My brows twitched into a frown. "So you don't know?"

He shrugged again and took a sip of beer before answering. "I was adopted at birth. Ain't never met another dullahan, so haven't had an opportunity to ask."

"Oh," I said awkwardly, not sure how to respond to that. "Uh… sorry."

"No need." He grinned at me. "My parents are the best. They're a banshee and a fae, so they couldn't have bio kids."

"Right. Yeah."

Banshees fell under the same umbrella as ghouls and dullahans, straddling that line between dead and alive, whereas fae were definitely very much alive. The embodiment of life and nature and all that stuff. So much like, say, a werewolf and a ghoul wouldn't be able to, those two species couldn't procreate together. And mixed species births were super rare as it was. There weren't many faewolves or ghoulshees running around, but they did exist.

"But, I mean…" Dan cocked his head. "I remember my head falling off as early as four or five. Just never thought to ask my parents if it'd been that way since I was a baby." He grinned at me. "I'll ask my momma next time I call her and let you know."

I gave him a brief, awkward smile, then cleared my throat. "Uh… what were you going to say?"

He shrugged, sipping his beer. "Was just gonna ask how you're finding Goliaths."

"Oh. Um, yeah, fine. Almost ready to launch the pay-per-view and start streaming the shows online."

He shot me an impressed look, which made my cheeks burn. Hopefully it was too dark for him to see.

"Nice, man. That was fast. You're good, huh? And the new website's already up too."

"I guess. I dunno," I muttered into my beer bottle, then had another gulp to try and hide the way my belly was squirming with… something.

We lapsed into silence, both of us sipping our beers and staring into the darkness. This was weird. We'd never done this before. We'd been neighbours for three years, and this was by far the longest conversation we'd ever had.

I'd just made myself come jealousy-masturbating to the fact that he could suck his own dick.

"You've been quiet," I found myself blurting, then flushed wildly because I knew exactly why he'd been quiet tonight, and I had no idea why I'd brought it up. "Uh… recently, I mean. Not many parties or nightly guests."

Ewen chuckled and sipped his beer. "Just taking it easy, I guess."

I grunted, still flushed and now feeling flustered, so I hid it behind my usual wall of sullen irritability and muttered, "Think I've had more unbroken sleep in the last month than I've managed to get since you moved in next door."

He looked over, a tiny smile dancing on his lips. "I'm not that bad, am I?"

I gave him a flat stare. "Yeah, you are. Your buddy broke my fence six fucking months ago, Ewen, and you still haven't fixed it."

To my surprise, he actually looked a little sheepish. "Sorry."

"And you blare that fucking music at night."

He laughed. "Not a country fan?"

"No one should be a country fan at two a.m."

Snickering, he glanced over with a smirk. "Anything else?"

My spine stiffened. "Yeah, actually. You throw way too many parties, and your friends are way too loud. And so are the people you—" I stopped and flushed. "Maybe you could shut your bedroom window when you have guests over, huh?"

He shrugged with a smug smile. "You'd still be able to hear it. Can't help it if I'm a damn good lay."

My belly squirmed, making me want to fidget in my seat. Instead, I drew my legs up and propped my heels on the edge, resting my beer bottle on my knee.

Just to get comfortable. Not for any other reason. Not to hide anything.

"And you should probably close your blinds," I heard myself blurt.

Silence followed, and my face grew so hot that he would definitely be able to see the flush staining my cheeks a darker purplish grey. I could feel Ewen looking at me, and when he still didn't say anything, I reluctantly lifted my gaze.

He was smirking, blue eyes gleaming with something I couldn't decipher.

"Oh yeah?" He brought his bottle up to his mouth and took a swig of beer, then kept it resting against his lower lip.

My heart started thudding hard as I stared at it, transfixed for some reason. Suddenly, all I could see was his dick sliding between those lips. The flushed length glistening with his spit every time his hands pulled his head back. His tongue lapping at the tip, sucking greedily, like he really enjoyed the taste of his own pre-cum.

Ewen tipped the bottle to drink, and it seemed like he slid more of the neck than was necessary between his lips before pulling it back. His tongue emerged to lap up a drop of beer spilling down the side of the dark glass.

My pulse leaped, hand clenching tighter around my own bottle. I jumped and realised I was breathing faster when he finally spoke.

"Sorry." He flashed me a wolfish grin. "I'll make sure to close my blinds. Maybe."

I couldn't speak. My throat had closed up. My face felt too hot again.

Then he slyly asked, "Sure you want me to?"

My head snapped up, a scowl instantly forming on my face to mask the confusing feelings wriggling their way into my belly. And lower. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Ewen chuckled, looking away and leaning his head back. "Nothin'."

"Just… don't be a dick," I snapped, still feeling weird. Confused. Nervous. Then a hint of guilt crept its way in when Dan's brows twitched into a tiny frown, but he didn't look over. "I mean… you're not being one right now, but come on, Ewen. You must know you've been a pretty inconsiderate neighbour."

He shrugged helplessly. "I mean, you're a ghoul. I just thought you'd be up most of the night anyway."

I snorted. "You've seen me leave for work at eight a.m. for the last three years. You think ghouls can operate on no sleep?"

He looked sheepish. "Guess I never thought about it that much. Sorry. I'll try and keep it down at night." Glancing over, he offered me a hopeful smile. "Or, hey, now that we're working together, maybe you'd want to come over after we—"

"I don't do parties," I interrupted flatly.

He paused, then huffed in amusement. "Yeah, I kinda figured."

In an instant, my scowl was back. "What do you mean by that?"

"Nothin'," he repeated, lifting his hands placatingly. "You're just pretty quiet. Only people I've seen going into your place are the same small group. Which is cool," he rushed to add. "Nothin' wrong with having a close-knit friend group."

But now I was feeling edgy and defensive again, so I snapped, "Not all of us want to get hammered constantly and fuck a different person every night."

His brows pulled down. "I don't get hammered constantly. I don't even drink all that much. No more than anyone else. I just like havin' people around. I'm a social butterfly," he added innocently, then chuckled. "The fucking though… Yeah, I'll give you that."

"So close your damn window," I seethed. "I don't want to hear it. Or see it."

His smirk returned as he glanced over. "See what, exactly?"

My face was on fire, and my head was pounding with more than just rage. I didn't want to think about what that meant, so I stood abruptly and strode for the door. "Get off my damn deck, Ewen."

He just laughed, infuriating me further, and I slammed the back door behind me. My nostrils flared with outrage when I heard him call out, "Try and keep it down, neighbour."

Dick. Asshole. He was so goddamn annoying.

Breathing hard, I looked down and felt all the blood drain from my face when I saw the obvious erection tenting the front of my pyjama pants.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Why was I hard?

It's adrenaline, I thought as I slammed down my half-full beer bottle and flicked off the kitchen light before stomping upstairs. He got you riled up, got your blood flowing. From anger. Nothing else. It's an angry boner. And earlier was just jealousy masturbation. Angry jealousy masturbation.

A full-body cringe wracked me as I realised Ewen would've seen my hard dick. He would've thought he'd caused it. Which he kind of had, but only because he made me so mad.

Fuck. Fuck . I'd popped a boner in front of Ewen. I'd never live this down. He wouldn't let me.

Was there a way to casually bring up adrenaline-fuelled erections in our next conversation? Make it clear that sometimes, intense emotions—like sheer rage and nothing else—could cause a boner? But that would require talking to him again. Which I didn't want to do. I didn't want to talk to him. Or interact with him in any way.

But now I was kind of panicking. Maybe I could write a fake ad about a new study on adrenaline boners and put it in the local paper so he'd see it. Except he didn't get the paper delivered.

Did he read the news online? Maybe I could find out what site he used by hacking into his—

Stop , I told myself as I irritably put a fresh bottom sheet on my mattress. Stop fucking thinking about him. Stop caring so much. He fucks dudes all the time—he's seen boners before.

But not mine. And I didn't want to fuck him. Definitely not.

I still didn't like him. Just because he'd kind of apologised for being a jerk neighbour, and told me stuff about himself, and given me a beer, and inadvertently played a part in making me come harder than I had in months…

Wait, what was my point again?