53. The Friendship

Hunter

Hunter glanced at his watch one more time as he waited outside of the restaurant on the beach. He was early but couldn’t help but feel late. He checked out his reflection in the mirror and made minor adjustments to his hair.

“You look great,” a voice said from behind him. He knew that warm, animated voice anywhere. When he turned around Logan was closer to him than he had expected. His eyes large and bright as ever, beard neatly trimmed, and his hair, clean-cut on the sides and swept back on top. He looked different, in a pleasantly good way.

Hunter smiled at him. “Hey.” The two leaned in for a hug, and just as Hunter’s hand touched Logan’s back…

“Excuse me,” an angry woman with a stroller shouted beside them. They ended their hug prematurely, allowing the woman to get by.

“Want to go inside?” Hunter asked, feeling robbed of contact with Logan. Hunter couldn’t help but stare; part of him feeling like he was meeting a complete stranger for the first time. Holding the door open allowed Hunter to get a view of Logan’s pants, tailored and clinging to his body in the best way. He didn’t complain as he stood behind Logan up the four flights of stairs to the rooftop terrace.

“These are the best seats,” Hunter said, reassuring him that the small hike was worth it.

“Wow,” Logan said, staring at the ocean in awe. “You weren’t kidding.”

The waitress smiled at them. “Sunset is in thirty minutes, perfect timing. Drinks?”

“Uh,” Logan looked at Hunter, who gave him a nod. “Two rum and Cokes?” Hunter wanted to kiss him already. “You know, your dad used to make these for himself all the time when we were kids.”

Hunter’s expression went blank. “What? Really? I don’t remember that.”

“Yeah, he let us try it once in middle school. We thought he was the coolest guy ever. This is nice, man. Do you live near here?”

“You can probably see my balcony from here,” Hunter said, turning his head to look around but then realized it was stupid to do so.

“You look great,” Logan said once Hunter faced him again.

“Logan, I—uh, you do, too.”

“You what?”

“Nothing, I was going to say something sooner but then we got interrupted downstairs with the uh … yeah.” Not only was Hunter’s tongue not working, but his brain functionality seemed to lapse. “It’s no big deal.” Hunter tried to make light of his rambling, having a sip of water after feeling suddenly warm.

“Hey, slow down there,” Logan joked, flashing him his perfect post-orthotic pearly whites.

“Uhm,” Hunter cleared his throat. “My mouth was dry.” Hunter placed both hands on the table and let out a deep exhale.

Feeling the anxiety radiating across the table, Logan reviewed the one-page menu and without looking up, placed a hand over Hunter’s, stroking it in soft, short movements.

“Relax,” Logan said calmly in a light, breathy voice.

Hunter wanted to turn over the table and kiss him. Neither of them said anything as Logan read over the menu. But Logan did glance at him a few times, reminding Hunter of how Logan would look at him with his cock in his mouth. Hunter tried to blink the thought away.

“You know what you’re getting?” Logan asked.

“I know the whole menu by heart.”

“Order for me then. Let’s see how good you are.”

Hunter laughed, staring at Logan’s lips. “That’s a lot of pressure.”

“Don’t you like pressure?” Logan said with a raised brow as the waitress came by with drinks.

Hunter told Logan about his mom’s new slew of men and the exotic trips that kept her away. He went into the details of his job in downtown Los Angeles and how much more relaxed the work environment was compared to his role in New York. Logan updated Hunter on his new life as a single father in Sacramento. His mother still taught back in Indiana but planned on retiring at the end of the school year. Meanwhile, Stacy moved into a high-rise in Chicago with her, much older, boyfriend. He talked about Emma and how he was nervous for her to start middle school.

“What’s Emma like?” Hunter asked him, with a doting smile on his face.

“She’s like …” Logan started and then thought for a moment. “You know, I hate to say this, but she’s like Stacy.” Hunter groaned as he shook his head. “You of all people understand what I’m going through. She’s not as calculating, but she’s nine and there is room for development. It keeps me up at night.” Logan had a concerned look on his face that made Hunter laugh.

“Wow, so many memories.” Hunter caught himself reminiscing. He thought of their trip to Aspen, their hours in the hot tub during the storm, the first time they said, ‘I love you’ and the way Logan would look at him after they’d made love. Hundreds of memories, warm memories, bittersweet memories.

Logan waved his hand in front of Hunter’s face. “Did I lose you there? You were pretty far gone.”

The trance seemed to break. “You must be enjoying the single life now,” Hunter said, with anticipation in his voice.

Logan extended his legs underneath the table and rested his knee against Hunter’s inner thigh. “Single life isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. You know, after you left, I hit rock-bottom there for a while. It was like, I couldn’t get myself together no matter how hard I tried.” A silent moment passed them, making their eyes lock expectantly. “Anyway, I don’t want to talk about that heavy stuff right now. What about you? Are you seeing anyone?”

Hunter wanted to melt, picturing one more night with Logan, inside of Logan. “There is no one at the moment.” Hunter adjusted himself and leaned his body forward, wedging Logan’s leg between his and a small chill jolted up his knees and to his cock. The server came by and collected their empty plates.

Logan looked out toward the ocean solemnly, but then a soft smile grew on his face. “We missed the sun setting.”

“I see it every day from my place.”

They gazed at one another, mindless of the world around them.

“I have a son,” Hunter blurted.

The words seemed to hit Logan like a strike to the chest.

The server handed Logan the receipt. “Here’s your check. Thank you so much for dining with us.”

“Did you pay? Why’d you do that?” Hunter laughed, not used to being treated.

“What do you mean you have a son?”

“You want to get gelato? I know this great place and it should still be open.”

Hunter and Logan walked along the sidewalk next to the beach as they ate their gelato with tiny spoons out of wide, short cups.

“Wow, I can’t believe it,” Logan said, in awe of Hunter’s story.

“Neither can I. I’m still shocked. This was a week ago.”

“But can you trust Maxine—after everything?”

“We got the blood test results back yesterday,” Hunter said and then nodded. “I don’t know how to feel. I know that he’s awesome. He loves sports, he loves to draw, and he likes terrible music but I’m trying to keep an open mind.” Hunter laughed. “I don’t know the first thing about fatherhood.”

Logan tossed his empty cup in a trash can nearby. “You’ll figure it out as you go. So does this mean you and Max …?” Logan’s voice trailed off.

“What? No, Lo, I came out.” Hunter tossed his cup as well, sliding his hands in his pockets as they strolled down the street.

“But you did that for Grayson, right?” Logan asked, looking over at him.

“I’m gay,” Hunter said, without hesitation, without fear. He glanced at Logan but couldn’t gauge his reaction, although he wasn’t sure what kind of reaction he expected. “I don’t know why I fought it for so long. I never fully enjoyed being with women. It was fun sometimes for a while, but it didn’t make me happy. Half the time I couldn’t even finish. I think I did it because it was so easy. Figured I wasn’t enjoying it because it wasn’t with the ‘right one.’”

“But you enjoyed it with Maxine, didn’t you?”

“No. I genuinely liked her a lot, as a person, and liked that you liked her and wanted you to be happy. The thing that made it tolerable was that you were there for most of it. Sexually, she never did it for me. I’m gay, she’s always known I’m gay. She’s in a relationship and she’s happy. Truthfully, no woman has ever done it for me.”

Logan looked down at the ground and then at their feet, stepping along the sidewalk in unison. “I’m very proud of you and so is my mom. So, it wasn’t me and my boyish looks?”

“No, it wasn’t just you.” Hunter smiled at Logan’s silliness. “It took a while for me to realize. But you played a huge role—trust me.”

Logan smirked. “I’d like to think so. High school was always a little … awkward. I mean, I would totally check dudes out. I liked women, of course. But there were definitely some guys I’d make out with if given the chance.”

“Like who?”

“I’m not going to say. But let’s just assume you hate all of them.”

Hunter shook his head and tsked. “I already know.”

“Don’t worry, you were always one of them. When Amber and I separated, soon after you left San Francisco, I thought I’d have a hard time figuring out what I like.”

“Well, what do you like?” You, Hunter wanted to hear.

“Everything. Anything, really. I saw a transwoman for a while. She was, really, truly amazing. We’d talk a lot, about just—life, I guess. Made me realize how easy I’ve had it … with parents like mine. Some parents aren’t as accepting.”

“So, you’re pansexual? Bisexual?”

“Something like that, is what my mom says anyway. Disturbingly enough, she knows all the lingo. Why limit yourself? I’m not sure which is what, but it’s more about the person for me, and their energy. I can work with whatever bits they’ve got or their sexual preferences.”

“I definitely have a genital preference,” Hunter said, placing his hands in his pockets after one too many brushes against Logan’s. “You know, the day I left—after the funeral, I ran into my dad in the hotel lobby.”

“No shit, really? And what happened?”

“Well, he claimed to have always known about me—my whole life.”

Their eyes met and Hunter wished they hadn’t. Although he considered himself an expert on Logan’s facial expressions, this one threw him off.

“You know,” Logan said and then paused, “I don’t have many kind things to say about your dad.” Another long pause and Hunter worried he already knew what he was about to say. “He was sleeping with Stacy, for a long while. She told me about it a couple of years ago when I moved back home. How he’d buy her trips for her and her friends and a bunch of other shit.”

Hunter sucked in air through his teeth and exhaled, remembering Stacy in the lobby at the Valley Creek Inn. “I figured as much. I never confirmed who it was with, but I had a feeling. Want to hear something even more fucked up? … I think my mom put her up to it.”

Logan paused in his tracks. “Wait, what? Why?”

“So that she wouldn’t have to pay alimony. If anyone is ahead by any moves, it’s my mom.”

Logan brought a hand to his lips and squeezed his cheeks together. “That’s so fucked. I have no words.”

The pair walked along the beach until it started to become dark and then headed back toward the restaurant. A few stories and some laughs later Hunter stopped in front of the topiary plants of his modern building.

“This is my place,” Hunter said, with a hand rubbing the back of his neck.

Logan bit his bottom lip as he looked up at the clean, crisp architecture of the dwelling. “Top floor again? Must be nice.”

“Look, I uhm—I’m glad you called me and that we got to do this. I really needed it, and you seem like you’re doing great.” Hunter didn’t want the night to end. He wanted to touch him, to hug him, to kiss him, and tell him how much he missed him. He wanted to invite him up for a drink like that time in New York. He didn’t care if Logan left in the morning as long as he was with him right now, only for one night.

“Same here, I’m excited to see where life takes you. And congrats on being a dad and all. Welcome to the club.”

“Thanks.”

“I’ll order a car. Wait with me until it gets here?” Logan asked.

“Do you need to use the bathroom or anything? Glass of water? It might be a while before your car comes. Weekends are extremely busy.”

“No, I’m good,” Logan said, mindless as he poked away at his phone. “Eight minutes.”

Hunter was annoyed with himself and the car app that took forever to arrive when he needed to be somewhere urgently. They sat at a nearby bench waiting for the car to come and take Logan away. Possibly forever. “I’m sorry about the way things ended last time.”

“It’s fine. I needed that. You were right—about everything. I had a lot of growing up to do. I had a few setbacks, but I think things are finally panning out the way I wanted them to.”

“Are you happy?” Hunter asked, wishing Logan would say he was miserable and couldn’t live without him.

“Yes. I’m happy. Are you?”

“I’m great. Life is great. Some things I didn’t necessarily plan for, but nothing I can complain about.”

“My car is here,” Logan said, looking down at his phone. Rising from the bench, Logan let out a big stretch that exposed his midriff and Hunter’s knees came unglued. Logan had abs again, and they were covered in a dusting of hair—rugged, man hair.

“That was quick.” Hunter stood up beside him. “Next time you’re in town, let me know?”

“I will for sure. May be sooner than you think. Have a good night.” Logan towered forward for a hug. Hunter hugged him back tightly this time, closing his eyes at the feel of Logan’s warm neck on the side of his face; he drove out a harsh sigh. “I know,” Logan whispered, taking Hunter by surprise. Before they detached, Hunter turned to kiss Logan’s cheek but then caught the corner of his mouth as Logan turned his head.

“Sorry,” Hunter apologized and pulled away.

“It’s fine. Let’s stay in touch? Have a good night.”

He watched as Logan got in the car and it drove away.

What the fuck was that?